Category: AU, First Time,
Pairings: Daniel/Other, Jack/Daniel
Summary: Sometimes you covet what you think you can’t have
Warnings: Minor character death,
Maggie Munroe watched the young man with interest. He spent every Saturday in the library. He never talked to anyone, always his head stuck in a book, and working on something. She never saw him during the week, and never with a parent. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen. Around the same age as her son, Joseph.
She would watch him all day until her husband, Alan, came to pick her up. She turned away to help a patron, and the young man disappeared.
Finally, one day her husband came early to pick her up; he veered to the young man, and started talking to him. She could hear every word.
“Daniel, are you doing homework?” Alan asked.
“Yes, Sir,” The young man said. “I’m almost done. About to get some supper.”
“Why don’t you come home with me to eat?” Alan asked. Daniel opened his mouth to decline but Alan stopped him. “Daniel, do you really want to go home to an empty apartment?”
“No,” Daniel said blushing.
“Good. Finish up while I talk to my wife. She won’t mind you coming don’t worry,” Alan said. Daniel nodded, and Alan went back to his wife.
“Alan, how do you know him?”
“He’s one of my students. One of my best. I’m also his adviser,” Alan said. Maggie nodded. “Don’t poke around in his life. While he may act tough, he isn’t. He’s a scared kid who wants to prove himself.”
“I’ll stay back. He comes in here weekend to do research,” Maggie said.
“You and your strays. Just don’t ask too many questions,” Alan said. Maggie nodded.
“Mr. Munroe?” Daniel asked as he stepped up behind Alan. Alan turned around.
“Daniel, this is my wife, Maggie.”
“Mrs. Munroe,” Daniel said nodding, and shaking her hand.
“Please it’s Maggie, dear,” Maggie said.
“Daniel Jackson, Ma’am,” Daniel said. Alan laughed.
“He’s a rather proper boy, Maggie. It will take him some time,” Alan said. Daniel blushed.
“Dad?” A young boy asked. Alana and Daniel turned around.
“Joe, come here. This is Daniel. He’ll be joining us for dinner. Daniel this is our son, Joe,” Alan said. Daniel nodded at Joe. Maggie saw the look in Joe’s eye. He was eying Daniel up as he would a girl. Maggie smiled. Her son had talked about liking boys, but this was the first time she had seen evidence of it. She just hoped that Daniel wouldn’t be mean if Joe pursued anything with him.
“Danny?” Joe called as he knocked on Daniel’s open apartment door. Joe jumped when Azzi stepped out of the kitchen with a paintbrush in his hand.
“Joe! Come on Daniel’s in here,” Azzi said. Joe entered the kitchen to see Daniel on a ladder with a paintbrush in his hand, painting a border around the kitchen. “Looks nice, huh?”
“Yeah,” Joe said looking at Daniel’s ass. Joe followed Azzi’s gaze, and saw that his eyes were focused on the same place as his own. They both laughed.
“He’s a rather oblivious man,” Azzi said. Joe nodded.
“Not oblivious, just waiting for the other to make the move,” Daniel said. Azzi laughed while Joe gaped like a fish.
“Yes, well, he does seem to be a block head,” Azzi said. Joe laughed, and moved to Daniel’s line of sight. Daniel smiled at him, and then continued what he was doing.
“What are you guys doing?” Joe asked.
“Daniel got tired of looking at the yellow walls. So he bought the paint, and now we are painting it green. It’s actually looking pretty good. I thought it would look pretty gross.”
“Daniel has an eye for color,” Joe said.
“And that doesn’t make me gay. I just grew up with a foster sister that wanted to make sure another man didn’t enter the dating scene without an appreciation for colors. I think it stuck,” Daniel said as he finished the last part of the wall. He started down the ladder, and connected with Joe who was standing at the bottom to help him. Azzi smiled, and left the room. Giving the two guys some peace.
Joe leaned forward, and kissed Daniel. Daniel gripped his neck, and kept him close so they could continue to kiss. Joe laughed when he heard the house phone ring. Azzi answered it, and laughed.
“Daniel, it’s the professor. He wants to talk to you. Something about a scholarship,” Azzi said. Daniel smiled at Joe before giving him one more, quick kiss.
“Have to take this,” Daniel said. Joe nodded.
“Jack, we are so happy you could make it,” Maggie said greeting her eldest son. Jack was in the Air Force, and hadn’t been home in two years. Jack entered the living room to see his stepfather talking with a young man. Jack was immediately drawn to the looks of the young man but more drawn to the look of intelligence in the bright blue eyes. “Oh, where’s Joe?”
“He went to the bathroom, Maggie,” The young man said looking up. He smiled at Maggie before looking at Jack.
“Oh, Jack this is Daniel Jackson. He goes to local college. Daniel this is Jack O’Neill, Joe’s older half brother,” Maggie said. Daniel stood up to shake hands with Jack before moving back, and talking to Alan. “Daniel, be good boy, and fetch Joe would you?”
“Sure,” Daniel said getting off the couch again. Jack followed wanting to talk to Joe alone. Daniel entered Joe’s room, and was pulled into a hug before Joe kissed him. “Joe! Don’t! Jack’s here.”
“So?” Joe asked before kissing him again.
“Yes, Joe. I’m here,” Jack said. Joe squeaked, and pulled back. “I’m sorry. I thought that Daniel knew I was behind him. I’ll see you two down stairs.”
“Jack, wait,” Joe said. He grabbed his half brother’s arm.
“I’m not mad, Joe. I’m just going to give you two a few minutes of privacy. I know Mom, and Alan won’t during the holidays,” Jack said. Joe nodded.
“Thanks,” Joe said. Jack nodded, and left the room.
“I should go,” Daniel said. Jack turned around from the hall to look in.
“Danny?” Joe asked.
“I’ll go back to the apartment. Azzi said he wasn’t going anywhere for the holidays,” Daniel said pushing past Jack to enter the guest room. Jack was surprised when Joe let him go.
“I didn’t mean to upset him. I just wanted to talk to you before I talked to Mom and Alan,” Jack said. Joe shook his head.
“He’s not too good at the holidays, Jack. His parents are dead, and he doesn’t have any other family. He didn’t want to come but Dad and I made him,” Joe said.
“Alan and you?”
“He’s been a student at the college for four years now. He’s studying for two degrees right now. Dad’s his adviser. That’s how I met him. Dad brought him home. Mom and Dad know that we are a couple but Daniel’s not comfortable in a family setting,” Joe said.
“Shouldn’t you stop him?” Jack asked.
“He’s stubborn.” Joe said. He looked at Daniel packing. “Just let him go.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Jack said. Joe tried to stop him but Jack just kept on.
“Daniel?” Jack asked entering the room.
“Don’t worry. You not the reason. I just want to be alone.” Daniel said. Jack stepped close to lay a hand over Daniel’s, stilling it. “Just leave me alone. Please.”
“I’m his half brother. My father was killed in ’60. I know that your parents have been dead for a while. But cutting yourself off doesn’t make it hurt less.” Jack said. Daniel ripped his hand out from under Jack’s, and glared at the older man.
“My parents were killed in front of my eyes. My first set of foster parents beat the shit out of me because I wouldn’t stop reading. My second set didn’t pay any attention to me. My third adopted me, and were killed when I was fourteen. I got emancipation at fifteen, my second year of college. Oh yeah. My grandfather didn’t want me because I was a kid, and he couldn’t handle me. Now before you talk about cutting myself off you should know what the hell you are talking about.” Daniel said. He zipped up his bag. “It was nice to meet you, Jack.”
“Are you ever going to stop running?” Jack asked. Daniel just glared at him before leaving the room. He said a few words to Joe before giving him a quick kiss and leaving. Daniel managed to slip out the door while Maggie and Alan were in the kitchen. They only appeared when the door shut.
“Who went out the door?” Maggie asked of Jack.
“Daniel. He’s going back to the apartment.” Jack said. He watched his mom frown.
“Dammit. I thought he was going to stay.” Maggie said.
Early Summer 1987
Daniel smiled at Joe as he watched him become a finally become a doctor. Joe’s dream was finally a reality for him. He saw Maggie and Alan in the crowd, and moved to talk to them. Maggie saw him, and hugged him to death.
“We haven’t seen you since Easter. Joe said that you two broke up.” Maggie said.
“We figured out that we were better friends than lovers. Plus I am going to Egypt for seven months. We thought that it was best. I’d rather stay friends than lose him all together.” Daniel said.
“Still we miss you,” Alan said.
“I know. I’ll be by before I leave in two weeks,” Daniel said. Joe found them, and hugged all three of them.
“He finally did it.” A voice said. Daniel turned to see Jack coming up to them. He was dressed to the nines in his dress blues. Daniel shoved down his feelings for the man. Daniel knew that it was just because of the close ties he had with Joe’s stepbrother, and not any real feelings. He couldn’t have any feelings for the man. It was just a reaction to the fact that he looked a little like Joe, and that Daniel hadn’t got any for a while.
“Yes, he did. I’m glad,” Daniel said.
“Why weren’t you up there, Daniel? I was looking for you,” Jack asked. Daniel smiled.
“I became a teacher not a doctor. I graduated when I was twenty. I teach at the college now,” Daniel said.
“Six years to get a degree?” Jack asked.
“Doctorate in languages. Linguistics. I wanted to do everything in one shot. I had the scholarships,” Daniel said. Jack nodded. Everyone chatted for a while. But mostly Jack and Daniel talked Joe noticed and watched them. He saw the way that Jack would touch Daniel’s shoulder, and the way that Daniel would smile at Jack.
After a while, Daniel seemed shocked. He backed up from Jack, and became reserved. Jack noticed and quickly made excuses about work and needing to go.
Late Winter 1990
“Mom, my mind is made up. I’m moving to L.A. it’s what I’ve wanted for a while.” Joe said standing in his living room. Maggie looked at Daniel and glared at him.
“This is your fault.” Maggie said. Joe stepped in front of Daniel to protect him.
“No, it’s not,” Joe said.
“He wants you to be out there with him. He can’t let you go.” Maggie said.
“Daniel’s moving back to Chicago. The University there has offered him a very nice job. This has nothing to do with him. It never has.” Joe said.
“You’ve been pulling away for years.” Alan said, talking for the first time since the start of the discussion.
“Because I want to. I can’t be the baby of the family anymore. I need to be on my own. Away from you guys while I grow up.” Joe said.
“You can do that here.” Maggie said.
“I’m twenty five, and have yet to truly live away from the comfort of my parents eyes.” Joe said. All four turned towards the door when they heard it open. Jack stepped in and stopped when he saw the eyes on him.
“I think interrupted something. Hi, Mom, Alan, Joe, Daniel. Wow everyone’s here. Go ahead. Talk amongst yourselves,” Jack said as he set his bag down.
“No, maybe it’s a good thing that you came. Joe wants to go to L.A., open up a practice. I think it’s a good idea. They want to stop him,” Daniel said. Jack sighed.
“Mom, Alan he’s a big boy. He needs to live his life.”
“He can do that here,” Maggie said.
“He doesn’t want to,” Daniel said.
“Stay out of this. If you weren’t meddling in this, he would never have wanted to move away. You’ve seduced him to the life with no one close. No one to turn to,” Alan said. Daniel looked at Alan in shock.
“I’ll be at my hotel room, Joe.” Daniel left, and Joe rounded on his parents. Jack grabbed him, and covered his mouth.
“We will talk, and be back in a little bit. I think that you should look at what you just said to Daniel,” Jack said. He pushed Joe out the front door in front of him. They found Daniel three blocks down. He was just standing there staring at the sky.
“Daniel?” Joe asked.
“Hotel is seventeen miles north. I don’t think I want to walk it.”
“You go back, and talk to Mom and Alan. I’ll drive Daniel to his hotel room. I’ll make sure he’s fine,” Jack said. Joe nodded. He watched the way that Daniel responded to Jack the way he let Jack touch him. He knew there was something there. But the other two men failed to see it or neither wanted to.
“Joe, have you thought this out?” Daniel asked. Joe was packing up his clothes to go to Iraq for the Doctors Without Borders program. Joe had wanted to do this once he was set for some money. Joe had become a popular doctor in Los Angeles, and had made quite a bit of money. “What about Alice?”
“Alice said she would wait for me. She loves me. I’m just not ready to settle down, and have a family. She wanted a ring but I told her that I would get her a ring once I got back. I’m not putting that ring on her hand until I am ready to settle down, and am safely stateside,” Joe said. Daniel smiled at him.
“I hope she can wait. I know you said you wanted to be over there for two years.”
“She says she can, so I hope so. I really like her, Danny. I really think she is the one for me. But I still need to get out there. I need to do a few things so that I can say I have lived. I would never go over there if I had a family…kids, and a wife, you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, what did you tell Alan and Maggie?” Daniel asked.
“They still blame you for me moving out here so this was just added onto it. I’m sorry. I never thought that they would blame you. They used to love you like a son.”
“People change. I’ve changed. You’ve changed. Why shouldn’t they?” Daniel asked as he stood to help Joe pack the last bit of his clothes. Joe knew that Daniel was used to it. He thought that everyone left him if they were given enough time to. Joe’s parents were just two more that fulfilled that prophecy.
“Not everyone is going to leave you, Jack and I are still here,” Joe said. Daniel smiled at him.
“You and Jack, who would have known? I thought that Jack hated me when he found us kissing,” Daniel said.
“He may be military but Jack isn’t a bigot.” Joe zipped the last bag of luggage up, and then looked at Daniel. “I’ll miss you, Danny.”
“I’ll miss you too, Joe.” Daniel hugged him, and kissed him on the lips.
“Take care of Jack for me, he needs help.” Joe laughed when Daniel nodded.
Daniel waited for Jack to pick up his phone. He knew he was in town. He had seen the man coming out of his parent’s house before he had gone himself to take a few things Joe sent to them. That it self hadn’t gone so well. Alan and Maggie had taken the gifts, and all but threw him out of the house. Daniel hadn’t seen Jack in over eight months, and he wanted to catch up with the man.
“Hello?” Daniel heard the tiredness in Jack’s voice.
“Daniel,” they both said at the same time. Daniel laughed.
“Hey, I’ve got something for you. Idiot sent a gift for you to me. I was going to call you tomorrow, and see if you wanted to meet. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Sure, sounds great. How about you come over? I’ll cook dinner, and we can talk,” Daniel said.
“I was just about to go find some menu’s and order some take-out.”
“You remember how to get here?”
“Like I could forget, Danny.”
“See you soon.”
Jack looked at the door of the small ground floor apartment in front of him for a few seconds before he knocked. He didn’t want to do this. He had used his military contacts to find Daniel. Daniel hadn’t kept in touch with anyone but Joe after the break up. His mother and stepfather had resented Daniel for pushing Joe to get a job in California. Joe had wanted to work there for years, and when a job opened in a hospital, he jumped at the chance. Daniel, his mother, and stepfather hadn’t talked to each other since Joe had taken the job. A few minutes after the knock, Daniel opened the door.
“Jack? You don’t look good.” Daniel said, as he looked Jack up, and down. Jack was leaning on crutches, and his face was cut up a little.
“Yes, well. I look good considering.” Jack said. Daniel stepped back, and let Jack enter the apartment.
“Why are you here?” Daniel asked. Jack heard the fear in his voice.
“My camp was over run. Insurgents. We had taken in a group of civilians. Doctors who were helping in the area.” Jack said. Daniel leaned back against the wall, and started crying. “I wasn’t able to make it to him. A bullet was put through his head. I found his body. Mom and Alan had his body cremated, and didn’t have a funeral. I’ll take you to his grave if you want.”
Daniel didn’t answer. He fell to his ass, and started crying harder. Jack dropped his crutches, and pulled Daniel into a hug. Daniel’s cries turned into sobs. Jack held him for over an hour while he cried, and then fell asleep. Jack was torn about how he should feel. For ten years, he had wanted to hold Daniel like this. But not after telling Daniel that one of his best friends had been killed.
“He went over there to help.” Daniel whispered, after waking up.
“He did help. He saved many lives. He died saving the life of a little boy and his sister.” Jack said.
“Why did they kill him?”
“Because he was American.” Jack said. Daniel sighed. He untangled himself from Jack’s hold, and then pulled Jack up with him.
“Thank you, Jack. For telling me. I don’t think I would have handled hearing it from Maggie and Alan.”
“He left a will. I think that’s why Mom and Alan didn’t have a funeral. He left you everything. Mom and Alan tried to fight it but its binding.” Jack said.
“Everything?” Daniel asked.
“His house, his cars, his money, and his land in Minnesota. When Mom’s dad died, he left Joe, and me the cabin, and all its land. Mom had it split up. Half for me, half for Joe. He left it to you.”
“I’d rather have him back. God, he was just staring to date this great girl before he left for Iraq. I need to call her.” Daniel said reaching for the phone. Jack stopped him.
“You need to calm down, Daniel.” Jack said. Daniel nodded.
“Are you staying in town or going home?” Daniel asked.
“I was going to find a hotel.”
“No, you can stay here. Then tomorrow we can go visit the grave.”
“Mom gave me the ashes to spread at the cabin. Joe loved it there. I have a flight for there from Chicago tomorrow afternoon.” Jack said. Daniel nodded. “He would want you to do it. I have two tickets. I don’t know if he ever took you there.”
“No, I never got the chance to go there.” Daniel said.
“Are you going to go?” Jack asked.
“Yes. I will.” Daniel said. He entered the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”
“Yeah. I am. Do you want to order pizza?” Jack asked.
“No. I need to keep busy. I’ll make something. How about spaghetti”
“Sounds good.” Jack said. He sat down on the couch, and propped his leg on the coffee table. He needed to ice his sprained ankle. This was the first time that he had been around Daniel for more than a few minutes. Ever since that Christmas they had meet Jack had been drawn to the younger man.
“Jack, are you going to be at the cabin?” Daniel asked as he finished packing. Jack heard the tone of the voice, and was immediately on alert. Something was wrong with Daniel.
“I don’t think so. I’m still working.” Jack lied. He was already at the cabin. Hence, the reason Daniel could only reach him on his cell.
“I’ll be going up there for a few weeks. I need some time off.” Daniel said.
“I have the place stocked up so you won’t need things for a while. I was up there a few weeks ago. Perishable things you might need.” Jack said.
“Okay. Thanks. I’ll let you go.” Daniel said before he hung up. Jack frowned at the phone. Daniel never was that abrupt. He got his answer seven hours later when Daniel pulled into the clearing in front of the cabin. When he got out of his car, he looked at Jack in shock.
“Hey. Sorry. I knew you weren’t doing too well. I just couldn’t let you go somewhere else.” Jack said. Daniel nodded. He sighed, and leaned against his car. “I’m leaving in two days, and you can have it to yourself.”
“Thanks, Jack. I just needed to get away from the city for a few days. We had a shooting on campus. A boy opened fire in the quad. Seven were killed. Four injured. The kid was a crack shot. His weapon held fourteen bullets. One student got three of them. Twelve of the bullets found bodies. Two hit the school with out hitting anyone.” Daniel said. Jack moved forward to hug Daniel but was stopped by Daniel’s out stretched hand. “I just need to calm down. I’m a little jumpy.”
“You look like you need sleep. Why don’t you take the bedroom, and I’ll set up the pullout in the rec room. You need the bed more than I do.” Jack said. Daniel nodded, and moved to grab his luggage. “I’ll get that. Just go inside.”
“Jack, I just want to be alone.” Daniel said.
“I know. I spend most of my time outside: fishing, walking, and doing other things. I’ll be invisible.” Jack said. Daniel nodded, and went into the cabin. Jack hung his head. Now was a time when Daniel needed Joe the most. Now was a time when Daniel needed someone.
Jack found Daniel asleep on the couch when he came in from outside. A bottle of whiskey was on the floor beside him, only a few shots of it gone. Jack frowned. Daniel was stronger than that. Jack picked up the bottle, and hid it in the laundry room. Daniel didn’t need to control himself with alcohol. Jack covered Daniel up, and waited for him to wake up.
Daniel woke up few hours later, Jack watched him try to get his bearings without his glasses.
“Jack, can you help me?” Daniel asked. Jack picked up the glasses, and handed them to Daniel. “Thanks.”
“How could you see me?” Jack asked.
“I can see most things around houses and such when I don’t have my glasses on. Its larger distances I have problems with. I tried you know, but after a few drinks I knew it wouldn’t help.”
“Alcohol never helps,” Jack said. He watched Daniel nod. “Hungry?”
“I could eat,” Daniel said. He looked up at Jack. “I don’t think I want to be alone right now.”
|Daniel found a small envelope in with his normal mail. There was no stamp or return address on it. He frowned, and opened it up. Inside were two tickets to an Opera playing at the local theater. Daniel smiled it was one of Jack’s favorites. The show time was for that night, and only two hours away.
There was no note that said who had given him the tickets or even a hint. There were only the tickets, and a small note that said. “Please come, I’ve been waiting a while to take you out, and now is the time.”
Daniel smiled, and set about finding his tuxedo to wear to the Opera. He just hoped it still fit him. He also hoped it was who he thought it was.
Jack watched as Daniel gave his car over to the valet, and he let the man park his car. Jack intercepted Daniel on the steps, and put an arm around his waist.
“Tickets Daniel, tickets,” Jack said. Daniel handed him the two tickets, and they entered the theater. Jack guided Daniel to one of the private balconies, and they sat down. Jack knew that Daniel was waiting for him to talk.
Finally, the Opera started. Daniel turned his head to study Jack but Jack didn’t want Daniel to start talking yet. Jack reached over, and pulled Daniel’s hand over the rest on his thigh. Daniel didn’t pull it back so Jack took that as a good sign. They stayed like that through out the show. Finally, after everyone around them had left, Jack stood up and pulled Daniel to him.
“Jack?” Daniel asked. Jack looked him in the eye.
“I love you,” Daniel said. Jack smiled at him.
“I love you, too,” Jack said.