Title: I’ve Missed You
Year: After the defeat of the Goa’uld- Year 2007
Category: Drama, Tragedy
Summary: He returns home two years after a bad fallout. Hoping to find peace.
“You’ve reached the O’Neill residence. No one’s home right now. You know what to do,” Jack’s voice said from the answering machine.
“Jack, its Sam. I’m calling to see if you were still coming to Cass’s party. She’ll be twenty-one. She really wants you to be there. Call me as soon as you get this,” Sam said. Jack heard Sam hang up as soon as he got his door open. He put the bags in the kitchen then grabbed the phone and called her back.
“Carter, yeah, I’m gonna be there,” Jack said as he put away his groceries.
“Good. She’s only going to be in town for a short amount of time. Teal’c just got here from Chulak. She’s having fun with him,” Sam said. Jack could hear both Cassie’s and Teal’c’s voices in the background.
“She sounds it. Has he called?” Jack asked as he always did when he talked to Sam. Then he looked at the picture on his mantel.
“No one’s heard from him in three months. Not even Cass. She’s worried.”
“Yeah, tell him the same if you hear from him.”
“Always. See you tomorrow,” Sam said hanging up.
“So what’s that one?” Jack asked as pointed at the last present on the table. It was small and wrapped in brown paper.
“Don’t know. Came this morning. In the mail. I about opened it until I was the words ‘Happy Birthday’ wrote on it.” Cassie opened the box carefully. “There’s a letter. ‘For a woman who’s as beautiful as her mother is. I found this in Cairo last time I was there. Wear it often. Love, Daniel’”
Cassie pulled out a beautiful necklace. No one said anything. As it had been since Daniel had left two years prior, just after the defeat of the Goa’uld. Cassie put on the necklace then made mentions of cake. Everyone left their thoughts of their friend who left them. The party carried on for another hour after that. No one noticed the car pull away from the curb as they all started cleaning up.
Daniel entered his new apartment on the other side of Colorado Springs. He knew that his friends would find out that he had taken his stuff out of storage in the next day or so. Then they would start looking for him again.
He had been a mental head case when he left two years ago. Then he had disappeared into the deserts of Egypt for two years.
He had become his own worst nightmare during the last battle. He had seen so many deaths he had just snapped.
Now he was better. And he missed his friends and family.
Sam, who had been his sister.
Cassie, his niece and the only one he had kept in contact with.
Teal’c, his brother and protector.
And Jack, well Jack had been his life.
Daniel would always love him. But he would settle for being a friend if Jack had moved on.
“Sam, can you or Teal’c get the door. My hands are messy,” Cassie said from the kitchen where she was cooking dinner.
“Yeah, I can,” Sam said hanging up the phone from where she had been talking to her husband, Pete. Who was away on a case right now. Sam opened the door only to take a step back.
“Hi, Sam,” Daniel said. He expected to have Sam slap him after the way he had left two years ago. But instead, she grabbed him into a breath-stealing hug.
“Samantha Carter, who is it?” Teal’c said stepping behind Sam. Daniel’s face was hid by Sam’s hair, so Teal’c couldn’t see his face. Cassie joined Teal’c at the door after hearing Teal’c ask who it was.
“It’s Daniel,” Sam said finally letting go. Only to be replaced by Cassie. And once she was done: Teal’c.
“It’s good to see you again, Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c said.
“Yeah, you too, Teal’c. Can I come in?” Everyone moved back and they all entered the living room. Daniel made sure to keep his pack close to him at all times. For the next hour, they all talked about the last two years of their life. Until the doorbell rang. Then two worried faces popped up to look and Daniel. Teal’c answered the door.
“Teal’c!” Jack said. Daniel heard his voice and stood. He had been expecting this.
“O’Neill, I would not enter there,” Teal’c said as Jack made his way to the living room.
“Why? Cassie got her boyfriend in there” Jack joked as he entered the room. Then he stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Daniel.
“Hi, Jack,” Daniel said. Everyone held their breaths’ to see Jack’s reaction. Daniel had left abruptly two years ago. Only letters said his goodbyes. Teal’c stood ready to restrain Jack if need be. Jack couldn’t move. He stood there staring at Daniel. Everything came crashing back to him and he took off at Daniel. Daniel put up his hands to fend off an attack but was instead hugged.
“I’ve missed you,” Was all Jack said before kissing Daniel.
Daniel sat in the passenger seat of Jack’s truck as they drove to Jack’s place. After that hug and kiss, he and Jack had rarely talked. What they needed to talk about should be done in private. They stayed and ate dinner with Cassie, Sam, and Teal’c. Then they left. As they neared Jack’s house Daniel saw his jeep sitting in Jack’s driveway. In the same place, he had left it two years ago.
“I never drove it. Unless it was to the mechanic to get it tuned up and to make sure the battery didn’t die. I knew you would be back. There’s a full tank and the tires are good,” Jack said as he parked his truck.
“Now I won’t have to use the rental,” Daniel said as he got out, looking at his jeep. He picked up the backpack he had put on the floorboards. Jack moved to stand behind him.
“You rented a car?” Jack asked.
“Yes, I didn’t know if you had put the jeep in storage. I didn’t want to buy a car and then have two vehicles,” Daniel said.
“How long have you been stateside?” Jack asked.
“Two weeks. That’s how long it took to get all of my stuff settled into my apartment and to get new papers. The SGC hurried up the matters,” Daniel said as Jack moved closer to him. “You can touch. It’s fine.”
“Thank god,” Jack said as he hugged Daniel. Daniel leaned back into the embrace and relished in it.
“I’m sorry, Jack. More than you’ll ever know,” Daniel said. Jack squeezed tighter to tell him to be quiet. Daniel stayed in the embrace until his knee started to hurt. As he tried to pull away, his knee gave out and he fell. Jack was releasing him and didn’t react fast enough. “Shit. Oh, shit. Not good. Not good.”
“Danny? Danny, what’s wrong?” Jack didn’t know why Daniel collapsed. Fear was in Jack’s eyes.
“Knee. I sort of messed it up at a dig a year ago. Now it gives out when I stand on it too long. I’m not going to be able to walk on it for a while.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jack said anger creeping into his voice.
“I forgot about it until it started to hurt. Then as I tried to pull away, I turned it and it gave out. I’m sorry I scared you Jack. But will you please just help me up?” Jack laughed and helped Daniel stand. Daniel put an arm around Jack’s shoulder and Jack put his around Daniel waist. “Oh, wait. My bag. I need it. It has my brace and my medicines.”
“I’ll come back and get it. I just want to get you settled down on the couch,” Jack said. They slowly made their way into the living room. Daniel hissed in pain a little as he sat down. Jack let him settle himself while he went and got the bag. He moved to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. Then he reached in and grabbed a pill bottle. He read the name. ‘Zoloft’.
“Jack, I know you are looking for the bottle. Come in here so I can talk to you,” Daniel said. Jack weakly smiled. But he put the bottle back and grabbed the water he had set down and made his way to the living room. Jack was going to let Daniel explain why he was on depression medicine.
“I didn’t mean to…” Jack started as he handed the things to Daniel.
“I know. You care. You were hoping to get the pills ready so I wouldn’t have to. Which did you find? The sleep aid, the migraine medicines, or the Zoloft?”
“Zoloft. There’s sleep aids in here as well?” Jack said pointing at the bag.
“Yeah, I don’t take the sleep aids all that often. The Zoloft is once a day. My psychiatrist is hoping that coming home will help and I won’t have to take them any more,” Daniel said.
“I expected the migraine medicines. But not the other two,” Jack said. He watched Daniel put on the brace. His face held tightly in check as he did. Jack knew it had to hurt. “Jack, I was a mess when I left.”
“I remember,” Jack said. Daniel looked at him sharply.
“No interruptions or I walk out of here,” Daniel said. Jack nodded. Knowing Daniel would do it.
“I couldn’t stand to look at everyone. After that battle whenever I closed my eyes, all I saw was death. If I could have, I would have returned to Abydos. But…anyway so I went into Egypt. I found some friends of my parents. Sally and Greg. They let me go with them on their digs. But they never mentioned me. I told them I wanted secrecy. And they understood. So I hide for a few months. Then the nightmares started. Sally convinced me to go see a shrink. I cleared everything with the SGC. They knew I wouldn’t see MacKenzie. So they cleared an Egyptian one. He was from a base there and knew what to do. That first session he gave me the sleep aids. I’ve used them before and knew what to do. After a few months, he gave me the Zoloft. The Air Force paid for all of this.” Jack looked up at this. Daniel nodded his head.
“So they knew where you were the whole time?” Jack asked.
“Yes, and they respected me enough not to tell anyone. They took care of all of my medical bills. Even the one with my knee. That put me out of work for about three months. I got truly well about five months ago. My shrink used that time to convince me to come home. I don’t have the nightmares anymore. The reason I left was no longer valid. And I missed you all.” Daniel lay back saying his tale was done. Jack had seen the tiredness on Daniel’s face through the story. Jack grabbed a blanket from the chair and laid it over Daniel. “I was lost for a while. But now I’m back.”
“Sleep, Danny. Just sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up,” Jack said as he placed a kiss on Daniel’s head. Daniel nodded and closed his eyes. Then he snuggled up under the blankets. Jack shut off the lights and sat in a chair to watch Daniel sleep.
Daniel woke up the next morning not knowing where he was. He sat up and looked around. But without his glasses, all he saw was blurriness. He heard movement in front of him.
“Calm down, Daniel,” Sam said. Daniel relaxed. Then he felt his glasses being pressed into his hand. He took a look around. Jack’s house. Then where was Jack? “He went to fill your pain medicines. Seemed you were running low. He told me about your knee. How is it this morning?”
“Don’t know. How about helping me up and if I fall catch me?” Daniel said his voice light and joking.
“I think I could do that,” Sam said. Daniel slowly stood on one leg. Then he put weight on both. Then finally just the hurt one. He nodded and sat down.
“Sam, I need you to get me that bag over there. I need to take a pill.” Sam got the bag while Daniel took off his brace. Daniel grabbed the bag and took out his pill bottles.
“One man drug store.” Sam joked.
“I got migraine medicines, pain killers, sleep aids, and Zoloft so yeah.” Sam jerked her head up at the Zoloft. Daniel smiled. “Yeah, Doctor Jackson’s on depression medicines. I wasn’t too well off if you remember. Hopefully coming home will make it so I can get off them.”
“Yeah, one can hope,” Sam said. She watched him take the pill out, stand, and go to Jack’s kitchen. She noticed he still felt at home here. Even though it hadn’t been his home for nearly two years. They heard Jack’s truck pull up and Sam hugged him. “I’ve got to get home. Jack didn’t want you waking up alone. Feel free to visit anytime.”
“I will Sam,” Daniel said. He heard them talking and them Jack enter the house. Jack handed him the bottle and Daniel just set it down.
“Don’t need it?” Jack asked.
“No, I’m good. But I do need food. And I can tell you just went shopping a few days ago. The apples are still good. But I want to go out to eat so I’ll be back later.” Daniel moved to leave but Jack stopped him.
“Well go out together,” Jack said. Daniel smiled.
Daniel and Jack entered a local I-Hop to eat breakfast. They had been sitting there a few minutes when Daniel stood to go to the bathroom and he was hit with an armful of someone. Jack’s laughing and Daniel scowls at him.
“Sorry, Daniel,” Jonas said. Daniel looked at him.
“Jonas?” Daniel asked wondering what the man was doing here.
“We share him. He works a month on Kelowna then a month here. We needed someone who knew all those languages. Have you eaten yet, Jonas?” Jack said as Jonas turned to leave.
“No, I just got here,” Jonas said.
“Join us,” Daniel said leaving to go to the bathroom. Jonas sat down next to Jack. He left room for Daniel on the other side of Jack in the circular booth.
“He came back?” Jonas said. Jack nodded. He was silent for a minute.
“Own free will. Showed up at Sam’s yesterday. Seems he’s been in town for a couple of weeks,” Jack said. The waitress made his way to the table.
“I thought…?” She said. Jack smiled.
“He’s in the restroom. We will be having three at the table. I’ll have the blueberry pancakes with bacon and he’ll have the Belgium Waffles with maple syrup as sausage. Coffee for both,” Jack said. The waitress nodded. She looked at Jonas.
“Orange juice and the Vive La French Toast with bacon,” Jonas said. She nodded and walked off. Daniel came out of the restroom.
“Has she been around?”
“Don’t worry. You got the waffles and coffee coming. With bacon,” Jack said.
“You know me too well.” Daniel joked. Jonas laughed. He could still see the love between the two men in their eyes. But also fear of not wanting to move to fast to get to know each other again. He knew that these two getting back together would be a trail on everyone’s nerves. And since he had just started his month as the SGC, he would be there for every minute.
“So you and Sam are civilians at the base?” Daniel asked as they drove to the base.
“Yeah, Sam does all the science stuff and I just advise now. After I retired last year, we had a civilian take over again. He quit two weeks ago. Nervous break down. So she and I are running the base for the mean time. Pentagon is thinking of keeping us that way. Two leaders.”
“Sounds good. Share the burden. And no one can talk about the leader strong handing it. Shared liability,” Daniel said looking at the entrance to Cheyenne Mountain for the first time in two years. He smiled. No one at the base knew he was back. They kept that quiet. Even Jonas was silent about it. Jack discreetly had Daniel’s id reinstated. Daniel was even getting his old job back. Just not with a team. With his knee, he couldn’t do that. No one really noticed him as he and Jack went along the halls. Most people were new. Until he hit the hall leading to the briefing room. That’s when Siler saw him.
“Doctor Jackson? Welcome back sir,” Siler said. Daniel nodded and shook his hand. Then in about two minutes, everyone he had ever met was swarming around him. After twenty minutes, his knee started to hurt. He looked at Jack with a plea.
“Ok, come on. Leave him alone. Go back to work. You can all talk to him later. He’s got a meeting to get to,” Jack said. Everyone reluctantly left them. Jack helped Daniel sit down at the table and prop his knee up.
“That was fun,” Daniel said. He looked at the window to look at the ‘gate. All he could see was the top of it. “I don’t think I’ve been hugged so much. Not even when I descended.”
“Everyone’s missed you. Having Jonas here only every other month has created a major back log of data and artifacts,” Jack said.
“Not rocks? Well let’s get this meeting under way and I will see what I can do about that,” Daniel said smiling. He was happy to be back.
“Daniel, it’s midnight. Go home,” Sam said entering Daniel’s office. Daniel sat in his chair with a book in his lap and his knee propped up with the brace on it. A jumpy new recruit had bumped into his on the steps and he had twisted it.
“Can’t drive, Sam,” Daniel said. He pointed at his knee.
“That’s what the car pool is for.”
“Plus I have that briefing to run for SG-23 in four hours. In a little, I am going to go bunk out on a bunk. Don’t worry. Because of the appointment with the shrink, I was able to sleep until ten this morning. I have gotten enough sleep, Mom,” Daniel said smiling. Since his return that’s what she had been was a sister/mother to him. He’d been back for three weeks. Jonas was leaving in a week and between the two they had gotten through about one tenth of the back logged items and translations.
“You had better. Doctor Page won’t like it if you don’t get some sleep.”
“Yeah, she’s worse than Janet. But she’s not even half as scary,” Daniel said smiling. Sam nodded. They all could finally talk about Janet with smiles and not tears. “Jack hates it because he can’t call her a Napoleonic power monger. She’s not short enough. Or mean enough.”
“Well she’s better than Brightman and Warner were. I didn’t like their personalities. How’s it going with Jack?” Sam had been dancing around the issue for a while now.
“Just ask Sam. I don’t mind. It’s good. We are going slowly. I still have a few issues to work out. And so does Jack. I think he thinks I’ll leave him if it gets rough,” Daniel said.
“Yeah, you did sort of leave us in the lurch,” Sam said. Daniel nodded.
“Believe me I still think I did the right thing. If I had stayed, it would have got worse. I had to get away from this life for a while. I had to get away from the death for a while. Go back to how I used to be. I can’t leave. I don’t think I would be able to leave your guys again.” Sam nodded and left the room.
“I wasn’t what you think, Jack. You’re overreacting,” Daniel said as they approached Jack’s house.
“Daniel, how can you say that? How could I not think it? He was all over you,” Jack said as they entered Jack’s house. Jack had showed up at the base and had walked into Daniel’s office. Daniel had been helping a young new linguist who was having trouble with learning Goa’uld. Jack had scared the boy off and had immediately started ranting at Daniel. Daniel had told him to stop until they got to the safety of Jack’s house. Daniel didn’t like fighting on base. He knew they couldn’t get in trouble since they were both civilians. But he liked privacy.
“Jack, he was reading over my shoulder. I was typing and he was reading. You know I like small print so he had to get close to read. Everyone on the base knows that you and I are seeing each other. Ferretti makes sure to tell everyone that you get really jealous. No one would dare try to steal me from you. You just are in a bad mood and want to fight. Well. Have fun fighting with yourself.”
Daniel walked out the door. Leaving Jack standing there. Jack moved to go after him until he heard the car door slam and Daniel drive off. That’s when the thoughts hit. What if Jack had pushed him too far? What if Daniel left him? What if Daniel left the SGC again?
Jack moved to his living room and sank down on the couch. Those thoughts went through his head until he finally fell asleep on the couch.
Three hours later around midnight, Daniel let himself into Jack’s house. He was calm finally and he hoped Jack was. He went directly to Jack’s bedroom and found it empty. No sign of Jack even trying to lie down. Next, he went to the den. Jack sometimes watched TV when he couldn’t sleep. This room was empty as well. He went to the living room and found Jack asleep on the couch. He hadn’t changed at all. Still in the clothes, he had left the base in. He could hear Jack talking lightly in his sleep.
“Come back, Danny.” He was saying over and over again. Daniel had hoped that Jack wouldn’t think about that. Daniel lifted Jack’s upper body and slid under him so that Jack’s head was in his lap. He keep carding his had through Jack’s short hair. This calmed Jack down almost instantly. Jack settled into a nice sleep. Daniel followed him a little while later. But not before he thought about the long talk he and Jack needed to have. To Jack about his jealousy issues and his thinking that Daniel was going to leave him every time they fought. The only reason Daniel would leave him was if Jack over stepped the rules.
In the beginning of their relationship years ago, he had told Jack that he wouldn’t be treated like a child. He was a grown man and could take care of himself. If Daniel needed help, he would ask for it. That if Jack mistreated him in any way. Daniel had had enough of that when he was a child. Daniel had made it clear that he knew moves and would use them. A few he had picked up from Ferretti and a few from Teal’c.
Last was if Jack was cheating on him. Steven had done that in Chicago and he wouldn’t stand for it again. This also came with the threat of harm.
Jack woke up with a stiff back. And he was thinking about the fact that his neck should be stiff as well. Until he noticed, his head wasn’t propped against the arm of the couch but against something warm. He rubbed his eyes and rolled over. He saw Daniel leaning with his head against the back of the couch. And he knew that Daniel would be the one with a sore neck. Jack felt Daniel’s hand rubbing in his hair. This was a nervous habit that Daniel had always had. Whenever they fought, once they had made up and finally slept Daniel’s always had to be touching Jack. And it was mostly carding his hand through Jack’s hair.
Jack looked at the clock. It was near nine. He wondered how long Daniel had been here. He silently got off the couch. Daniel reached for him then settled back down. Jack grabbed the throw and covered him back up. Now that Jack’s weight and warmth was gone, Daniel would get cold. That’s when he first thought that he had been wrong. He had let the jealousy get out of hand. He had forgotten that this man was civilian and would not think twice about acting like that. They didn’t have the stigmas the military did. If anyone had walked in and saw a soldier like that, he would be thought of as gay. But this was a civilian.
Now he had to make that up to Daniel. Daniel had come back and he knew that as long as he didn’t cross the line Daniel would come back. He was better and he wasn’t leaving his family again. Jack made his way to the kitchen to cook breakfast for them. He hoped Daniel would accept his apology. He didn’t want to mess this up. The month that Daniel had been back was near heaven. He didn’t want Daniel leaving him because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check.
Daniel smelled coffee. He knew he did. He tried to sit up and found was already sitting up. He moved his head. Which was a bad idea. He let out a small moan of pain. This had Jack beside him in a second.
“I know. Your neck. Let me finish up and I’ll give you a neck rub,” Jack said has he handed Daniel a cup of coffee. Daniel looked confused. “Don’t ask me. I woke up to find my head in your lap.”
“Yeah, I came back hoping you were calm. You were asleep. I slept all night sitting up?”
“Yeah, you did. And I think your back and neck will be hating you for it,” Jack said. He got up, finished putting breakfast in the oven, and then moved to the living room to give Daniel that massage. Daniel was still nose deep in his coffee so Jack got the massage lotion from the bedroom. He started with Daniel’s neck since that was giving him the most problems.
“Jack, I hope you know I am always going to come back. And you need to control your jealousy. It’s only going to push me away. I hope you didn’t forget our rules. Because they still stand. Now more than ever,” Daniel said as Jack moved to Daniel’s lower back.
“Yeah, I know. About all that. I think I finally understand why you left the first time. Space. And we weren’t giving you that. We were pushing and making you do stuff. You needed fresh air and all we wanted to do was stick you in a room so we could watch you. It took us a while to get over the fact that you didn’t say goodbye in person. But we finally understood.”
“My life’s pretty darn good right now. I don’t want to leave it. Unless you guys give me good reason,” Daniel said laying back into Jack’s arms.
“We won’t, Danny. We won’t,” Jack said.