Title: It Couldn’t Be Easy
Pairings: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Spoilers: Entire MCU
Summary: Never ask Tony to reinvent the handcuffs while he is sleep and Steve deprived.
Notes: Crack? Also, Coulson survived. I just like having him around so…that part of the movie never happened.
Steve and Fury had learnt a few things about asking Tony to do things when he had been awake for over three days. The only reason that Tony had even been awake that long was because Steve had been away on a mission with Bucky and Natasha in Russia. That also meant that he was deprived of other things that had become routine to him.
“And you thought that taking these cuffs into a fight with Loki was a good idea?” Fury asked.
“I wasn’t doing a lot of thinking at that time, Sir. Not with my head. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try them out.”
Steve knew that something was wrong when Tony called Fury Sir. It was rare and never good. He usually used it to lie.
“Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
“Which one, where you asked me for better handcuffs for villains or when the fight with Loki started?” Tony wasn’t looking Fury in the eye. That meant that Tony was thinking.
“Sir, Captain Rogers, Mr. Barnes, and Miss Romanov have just landed at the airport. However there is also the call to assemble going over the broadcast channel. It seems that Loki is back.”
“I am in no condition to fight, JARVIS.”
“I told Director Fury this. He told me that you needed be there. In much more colorful words, that is.”
Tony dropped the tablet he had been playing with and grabbed the handcuffs before reaching out and calling his armor to him. In seconds he was ready to, blasting out the open window that JARVIS had opened for him. It didn’t take long for him to arrive at where the coordinates sent him. He arrived at the same time that Hawkeye and Thor were arriving. The other three were going to be about ten minutes behind and Bruce was in California. There would be no Hulk.
It didn’t take nearly as long as Tony thought it would for them to make Loki submit. Thor was wary but Steve was ready for it to be over. Tony could understand that. He wanted it to be over as well.
“I have no means to keep him tethered,” Thor said as Loki smirked.
“Oh!” Tony yelled as he reached into one of his compartments and pulled out the handcuffs. Everyone eyed the cuffs before looking at Steve who was trying not to blush and failing. The cuffs were small but they looked sturdy. It was of no design that anyone had ever seen before.
“Fury wanted me to make a better handcuff. I just finished them this morning.” Tony handed them to Steve. “He won’t be able to remove them. There is a magic dampener along with a lot of other things. Only a key will remove them. Well there is something else as well but that’s never going to happen. They are made to tether the villain to a person. Much better than attaching their hands. The cuffs are set to kill the person attached to them if the other person died.”
“What?” Steve asked as he reached out to clasp both on Loki’s hands.
“Fury wanted some that would stop villains from escaping; it was the only thing I could think of on short notice. No villain wants to die. It protects our personnel as well.” Tony showed Steve which one was the one that he needed to put on himself and which was the one he needed to put on Loki.
“I see.” Steve attached the one to himself and reached out for Loki’s hand.
A flash of green and when Tony could see again, he was in the second set of cuffs. He looked at Steve and then at the others. “How?”
“My brother is full of tricks.” Thor’s face was dour.
“The key, Tony.” Steve’s mouth was set in a hard line.
“Well, see that’s where it gets interesting.” Tony couldn’t look him in the eye. He couldn’t see the disappointment in those eyes, never those eyes.
Steve gave him a glare.
“Look. I’ve not slept in three days and I am tired and was a little distracted by other things. I hadn’t started the key yet. I figured that if they were needed, I would have time to make a key.”
“You said there was another way to get them off?” Bucky asked as he stepped up to look at the cuffs. He reached out to touch them but stopped when Tony jerked his hands back.
“That’s going to be a little hard as well.” Tony looked at Steve’s face before looking away. “See this was just the first set of cuffs. Fury wanted them in a hurry so I kind of made them to come off if the captor and the villain have sex together.”
“Tony!” Every single Avenger said at the same time. Tony just shrugged. He closed the helmet on his suit and pulled one of the gauntlets off. He hit a few buttons on cuff attached to Steve but nothing happened. He grabbed Steve’s free hand and used his finger to punch the same buttons. The metal links that bound the cuffs separated and instead an arc of energy passed between the two. It disappeared after a few seconds.
“That will make it easier. We have a five foot distance that was can move without it sending shocks to us.”
“We need to go to the hellicarrier to debrief Fury.” Steve looked at the handcuffs and then back at Tony. Tony kept his helmet closed for a reason. He didn’t want anyone to see him blush. It was Fury’s own fault. Tony was used to having Steve around and when Steve wasn’t there, he didn’t sleep much and when he didn’t sleep much his designs got a little crazy. He was also used to sex on a near daily basis. “Hawkeye, take the Quinjet and take the others up. Iron Man and I will follow as soon as we have a talk.”
The rest of the Avengers left quickly. Steve looked at Tony and waited for him to flip up the helmet but Tony kept it down.
“Look, I can’t work on the key for the handcuffs while I am wearing one. It’s won’t let me. If I try and keep contact with your cuff for too long, it will kill me. There is only one way to remove the handcuffs. I had always figured that I would be able to work on the key while it was on Loki but this…”
“So we have to have sex?”
“Don’t make it sound like a chore, Steve. I had no way of knowing that Loki would do that, there at the end. There is no time rush on this. We could stay cuffed for days, if we don’t mind having to stay within five feet of each other.”
“Why don’t we back to the tower? We can deal with it then. I’ll deal with Fury. Your armor is pretty dented. It will take a while to get out of it I am sure. I’ll send him an email and tell him that we will debrief later. ”
“Yes it will.” Tony put his gauntlet back on his uncuffed hand and then reached out an arm. Steve stepped into his side and Tony took off up into the sky. They landed on the top of the tower and instead of the arms coming out to take the armor, the bots stayed in their little homes. Tony walked down the ramp and into the main floor, heading right for his workshop, looking behind when he didn’t hear Steve’s footfalls. Steve was right behind him though. It took nearly an hour to take the armor off but it came off. Steve had clothes in the workshop so within a few minutes of getting in there; Steve was changed from the suit into jeans and a shirt. He spent the rest of the hour at station, working on the email to Fury. Tony hit the locks to the workshop and shaded the windows so that no one could look in. Steve approached him and kissed him for the first time in over three days.
“You can stop there,” Fury said. He looked at the two of them. “At what point did you become aware that Barton was filming you?”
“When we found out about the copy that was circulating around the Hellicarrier,” Steve answered.
“I have tried to get rid of all copies but for every single copy I destroy, three pop up.” Fury looked at Tony.
“I took care of that. Every time a copy is played, it destroys itself. You need not worry about that. There will soon be no copies left.”
“Just make sure he can’t access your workshop from the ducts again.” Fury waved them out with a hand and both left his office quickly.
“So he doesn’t know that it was a video that we made for ourselves that Tasha stole and copied does he?” Steve asked.
“No and he never will.”