Title: The Pain of Love
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Year: Season 8
Category: Trope Bingo, Wing Fic, Angels & Demons, Dark,
Spoilers: Up through Season 8,
Summary: Spencer may be broken but the man looking at him, he was just as broken.
Notes: Please take the warnings to heart. I don’t know what this is.
Warnings: Orgasm Denial, Handcuffs, Blindfolds, Knife Play, Blood Play, Cutting, Bondage, Dark, Pain Play, BDSM,
Spencer loved and hated these moments. He felt the hand slip from where it had been holding his head up to kiss him and he groaned. He knew what that hand was going to do. One quick swipe on the head of his cock and then it gripped the base and squeezed. His orgasm was chased away. He wanted to look. He wanted to see but it was denied him as well.
“Naughty Little Angel,” Aaron whispered in his ear as he slipped his cock out from inside him.
“Please,” Spencer pleaded. He tried to shift closer but Aaron placed his hands on his hips, holding him down. He wanted to move his hands but the padded handcuffs stopped him. Aaron had come three times already, but Spencer had been denied four so far. Any other time and he could have broke out of the cuffs. This wasn’t a normal time. These weren’t the normal play cuffs.
Aaron had jumped him the moment he had entered the house. The darkness of the blindfold had robbed him of his sight. He hadn’t been scared, he’d felt Aaron and knew that he was safe. When he was shoved face first into the wall and his hands drawn behind him, he’d shivered in delight. Aaron’s breath had been hot as he whispered in Spencer’s ear. “I want to play with you all night.”
Spencer had never been able to deny him anything, he wasn’t going to start then.
“You tried to come before I wanted you to. You tried to hide it but your wings gave you away.” Aaron pulled fully away after the words, and all Spencer could do was whine. It was always his wings’s fault. It was pathetic, he knew, but he hated not touching Aaron. The soft padding of feet told him that Aaron was going to the bathroom. He heard the water running and then silence for a few minutes before the padding came back towards the bed. Two pillows were shoved under his head and he knew what was coming and it wasn’t going to be him, for a long while. Aaron had washed up.
When he felt Aaron settle over his chest, Spencer opened his mouth. He lost track of how long he sucked Aaron’s cock. He’d done it for hours before, in the past. He was lost in the sensations of the feel of the flesh in his mouth, the taste of the liquid escaping it, and the sounds that Aaron was making above him. He was pulled from his haze when he felt the flesh pull out of his mouth. He followed it as much as his chained hands allowed him. Aaron chuckled at the display as he kissed down Spencer’s body.
“You aren’t listening to me, little bird.”
Aaron shifted and entered him in one quick thrust. It felt like it had been hours since the last time that he had been in him. The twinge of pain from the rough entry had Spencer’s wings trying to curl around him for protection but Aaron moved his hands from his hips to the broad part of his wings, holding him down. That movement put Aaron’s head down near his own.
“You aren’t getting free unless I allow it, Spencer.” The body above him shifted closer as it thrust in and out of him. He could feel the breath on his ear. What surprised him was the voice that spoke next. It was lower and rougher than Aaron’s voice. “I want to come out and play, Spencer. Can I?”
The hips that thrust against him stopped while the man waited for his answer. It was always consensual. If he said no, Aaron would get them both off and they’d sleep curled around each other until morning light. There would be no anger, no shame in saying no. He used to, in the beginning of their long relationship. To show his free will. He’d given up on that long ago. He’d never, ever regretted it when he said yes.
“Yes,” Spencer choked out. Aaron started to move again and then there was a hand on his cock. It only took a few pulls and he was finally coming. Returning to his surroundings a few minutes later, he felt the control that Aaron had shown all night start to slip. His blindfold was ripped off his face, not very gently and his eyes sought out Aaron’s.
This was the moment he was waiting on. Aaron snapped his hips once, twice and then came. His eyes rolled back in his head and then tried to focus on Spencer again. As the eyes moved, blackness overcame them. He wanted to reach up and cup the face he loved so much.
“Denei. My Demon.”
“My little Angel,” Denei said as he leaned up and checked the cuffs. Spencer was crafty and could slip out sometimes. This time he hadn’t, but Denei always checked. As soon as he touched the cuffs, the power of them washed over Spencer anew. More sigils were activated and his wings started to pull in. He didn’t fight it, that would only bring pain that Spencer didn’t want. It wasn’t fun pain. His grace was all but strangled. There was no way to break free without hurting himself and hurting Denei, something he would never do. Denei was still inside of him, still hard and he shifted to remind the Demon of that. He was also hard, he had been as soon as the power of the cuffs had touched him. He always got hard when the power of cuffs activated.
There was a difference between Aaron and Denei. Aaron was the part of Denei that Spencer had fallen in love with first, so long ago. Denei was the part that he kept pushed down but a part that the Angel loved no matter what. The part of him that stayed hidden for Spencer’s sake. Every once in a while though, Denei was allowed out in full form. It had been longer from the last time to this time. Spencer hadn’t been the object of his wickedness the time before. No, that had been George Foyet. He could remember The Reaper’s screams as Denei had tortured him for days. In the end though, it hadn’t been Denei who had taken Foyet’s life. Spencer had been the one to drive the knife slowly and deeply through the serial killer’s heart. He had never regretted it either.
“What do you want, Spencer?” Denei’s voice was still right by his ear. That voice pulled him from his thoughts. He knew what he wanted. The Demon, both parts of him, loved Spencer. His Demon also knew that sometimes, what he wanted wouldn’t go over well after cases. This was his chance to put a stop to anything he didn’t think he could handle.
“Anything.” It had been a while since he’d agreed to anything that Denei wanted. There were hard limits but those had been set so long before and Denei never forgot them. Once he was fully bound, the only thing that could stop the Demon was his safeword. One utterance of the word and Denei would go away and Aaron would come back. He’d only had to do it once. The blindfold wouldn’t come back out for the rest of the night. Aaron liked to rob his senses from him but Denei liked to watch the pain in Spencer’s eyes as he had his way with him.
The bed that Spencer was cuffed to was larger than any normal bed was. It allowed them the freedom to do what they wanted. It also gave Denei room for his instruments. The cuffs were an extension of Denei’s will. Sigils were all over the leather and the metal. Denei controlled every aspect of Spencer’s freedom with those sigils. He didn’t notice that the Demon was moving again and slid out of him. Another flare of power and his wings were free. Spencer stretched them out and Denei’s eyes roved over the white wings. There was such hunger in those eyes. His Demon waited though before he shoved the wings down onto the mattress. Power flared out from the bed and Spencer gasped. His wings were basically glued down to the surface and his upper body was fully trapped. He couldn’t move it at all.
“Like what I’ve done?” Denei moved down the bed, dragging one of the Angel’s legs with him. The rope looped around his ankle and then pulled tight. His right was given the same treatment. He was truly bound and he loved it. Being bound likes this used to scare him. It took him a long time to get to where he was now. He’d changed just as much as Denei had changed because of him. His family would probably be disgusted at how much he had let a Demon warp who he was, but he didn’t care.
Pain flowed down his leg so he tilted his head to look at where his lover was between his spread legs. There was blood running down Denei’s mouth from the wound on his thigh. It healed up quickly, his grace putting all its energy to it since it had nowhere else to go. The feral smile that he was given had him shivering and then he noticed the knife on his stomach. Demonic writing was spread all over the blade. Denei really wanted to play.
Denei hadn’t used that knife on him in nearly a thousand years. He was going to bleed a great deal and he didn’t want to stop it. No other instruments appeared on the bed. He was going for simple that night.
There was no clock in the room and it was only light enough for him to see the area around the bed. It was full dark outside. Spencer had no clue how long they had been playing or how long until sunrise. The team was on forced downtime until Monday so there was no chance of having to go into work. Still, not knowing when it was had him on edge.
“Little Angel getting scared?”
“Your eyes say different, Spencer. Don’t lie to me.” Nails dug into his hips where Denei’s hands were settled. The nails were pointed and made to hurt. He dragged them all the way down his leg to the middle of his shin, splitting the skin open as he did. The scream that ripped from Spencer’s mouth shook the house. Thankfully between sigils and marks of his grace, no one would hear him and call the cops. The first wounds created were always the worst. He wasn’t high enough from the endorphins from the pain to be refrain from scream.
The tongue that traced the path of the wounds wasn’t unexpected. Denei had always had a taste for Angel blood and playing with Spencer as he did gave him what he needed to keep that bloodlust down. The wounds were slower to heal than the ones created by his mouth. Still, Spencer could feel the knitting of the flesh back together as the tongue laved up all the blood that it could.
“So pretty, covered in blood and spread out for me. Mine to play with. Mine to do whatever I want.”
“Yours, Denei. Always yours.” Spencer wasn’t lying. He would be the Demon’s forever. The fear that wracked his body and mind would always be there. His grace would always fight when Denei was fully manifested in the body. He’d never let his grace win though. He’d already been cast out from heaven for him.
“Ready to become prettier?” Denei picked the knife up and the sharpness of the blade caught Spencer’s eye. It was a lot sharper than the Demon’s normal knife. That meant more blood as it would go deeper with little effort. He couldn’t make out all the sigils on the blade but he was sure that there was one that would make him bleed more and one that would have him healing slower.
The first cut was along the same path that his nails had taken. Small variances so that it wasn’t a straight line were the only deviances. With Denei using his wings to keep him down, there was no way to get to his back and ass, two of the Demon’s favorite places to cut. He lost himself, flying high on the endorphins released by the pain. He barely noticed when, after a long while, Denei moved from his legs to his hips then to his chest. His eyes were open and near unseeing as the pain and screams encouraged the Demon to cut him up more. On his chest he could feel the tongue tracing the wounds, near soothing in the gentleness of the licks. He was covered in sweat and Denei glistened in sweat as well.
Denei seated himself on Spencer’s hips, rubbing his ass against his cock while his own hard cock was upright and wanting attention. The cuts on his chest were taking forever to heal and it was just seconds after Denei grabbed his cock and started to pump that Spencer figured out the Demon’s plan. Cum landed on his chest, seeping into the open wounds and Spencer screamed at the searing pain that caused. Denei’s hand followed smearing the blood and cum mixture around on his chest, getting into every single wound.
“You scream so pretty for me. See how much I like it?” Denei asked as his previously soft cock had hardened again. Spencer had hoped that it would be over when Denei came but a resurged cock meant it was going to go on. Hand lifted from his chest, he watched as Denei licked it clean. Next he shifted down to lick his chest clean. The soft licks and the pain that was going away had Spencer hard. He was able to get to a space where he could feel Denei’s enjoyment at what he did and use it to stay hard throughout the play but the pain had overloaded him and he had gone soft.
“I want to cut you more. Can I, Little Bird?”
What was he asking? Spencer had told him already he could do whatever he wanted. Then it all crashed on him. The new bindings. The cuffs that blocked nearly all his grace from healing him too quickly. The new sigils on the knife. Denei had been working up to this night for a while. His wings started to twitch where the tips of them were stretched out past the bed on both sides, not held down at all. Denei’s eyes watched them.
The Demon gave him all the time in the world to make his decision. The pain was going away, the pain in his shoulders from holding this position long gone. It had been so long since they had done that. Did he want that kind of pain? He wanted to use his safeword and pull out but it’s not the word that came out. “Yes.”
The look of lust that was sent his way was nearly his undoing. Knowing what was to come and knowing how much Denei wanted to do it. He held his mouth shut though and closed his eyes. Denei would allow it now. The darkness of his vision helped him be able to control his reactions.
Denei shifted off of him and crouched at where his feathers stopped at the bottom edge of his wings. He could feel the bed dip as he leaned forward. He braced himself for the first cut and let his mouth drop open in a scream so loud that the windows shattered in the bedroom. The Demon ignored the screams and pleas that fell from his mouth as the flesh of his wings was cut time and again. The one word that would stop it didn’t fall from his lips.
After what felt like days, Spencer came back to find Denei looking down at him, a smile on his face, tucked between his legs. He turned his head and saw that the blood that would normally be all over his wings was gone. Denei had cleaned them up so that the blood wouldn’t get stuck and be harder to get out later. His legs had been allowed to go slack some so that Denei could get to his ass. They were finally at the end of his play for the day. This was the part that Spencer took the pain for. After soaking in all the fear and pain that Spencer had been radiating for hours, Denei was at his most powerful and the energy he would put off while he fucked Spencer would take the Angel away from it all. It was the only time that his mind never thought of all he’d lost. His family, his brothers, and the feeling of Heaven. The darkness that was Denei would wrap around him and he would feel claimed in only the way that the Demon could make him feel.
“What are you going to do, Little Angel, if I break your grace one day?” Denei asked as he finally slid inside of Spencer, there was no pain in the entry like there normally was. The angel could only moan in answer as the energy of his lover started to surround him. He’d lost the ability to speak long ago. A snap of fingers and his leg bindings were completely gone. He wrapped his legs around the Demon’s waist. A long body lowered on top of him as he did and he settled his head back with his neck bared. He wanted to feel the teeth bite him, claim him. The scars from the teeth wouldn’t be visible to humans but to other Angels and Demons, they would see them for what they were, a claim of a Demon. He was shocked though when fingers cupped the side of his face and turned him, gently. Denei wasn’t ever gentle like this. “Spencer. Answer me. I need to hear your voice.”
“Denei?” was the only thing that Spencer could answer. Denei smiled at him and kissed him. He had never been kissed like that by Denei, not in a situation like this. It was slow and sweet and totally at odds with the way the Demon was thrusting inside of his body. Denei sped up his thrusting as Spencer opened his mouth. The kiss heated up and he allowed his mind to crest on the going away of the pain. His wounds were healed and all he could feel was the way that his Demon’s body held him down. His shoulders would be stiff but he could deal with that. His wings wanted to be free. The tips were flicking much like a cat’s tail did. His nerves were too raw.
Denei stilled and Spencer could tell by his face that he came, it never took long. As the Demon’s head rested on his chest, Spencer ached to reach out and touch. Black eyes looked up at him and slid down his chest. What was he doing? Trying to speak, all Spencer did was croak out something unintelligible. This wasn’t normal and he wasn’t sure that he liked it. Denei didn’t do this. He was fire and pain and letting go. His Demon wasn’t soft and gentle. With his upper body trapped, Spencer still tried to get away. He wasn’t shocked to find his erection gone.
“Shh, Spencer. Love, calm down.” Denei looked at him with worry in his eyes. Spencer tried to shove again with his legs, this time his grace responded. His wings broke free. Denei lunged forward, gripping his wings to hold them down. The second he settled on Spencer’s chest he started to make calming noises. Long minutes of softly uttered words and Denei’s hands petting his wings and Spencer was calming down. The hands left his wings, moving above his head. Pain shot up his arms as the cuffs were released. Firm hands helped him bring his arms down from the position they had been in for hours and rubbed at him until the pain was a dull ache. He was pushed into a sitting position with his Demon holding him up. Strong hands rubbed at his shoulders and back, trying to remove the last of the ache while his grace worked. He was exhausted from everything so he just slumped down into Denei’s arms, he had no will to fight anymore. He wanted Aaron and the comfort that he gave. He wanted warm brown eyes and gentle caresses. His wings tucked towards his back and then were gone.
“Let’s get you into the bath.” Shifted into strong arms, Spencer let the Demon carry him. He was set down in the back corner of the tub on the bench that was built in. He let the wall hold him up. His eyes were the only part of his body that moved as he watched the Demon move around preparing a bath for him. He wasn’t sure what was going on. Nothing was the same as it had been before he’d let Aaron snap the cuffs on him. He hadn’t felt this lost since he’d been cast out and unable to find Denei. The scent of lavender filled the bathroom as oil was poured into the bathwater. He let his thoughts drift, taking in the wonderful smell. He knew nothing until he was gently pulled into the water and settled back against Denei’s chest, wrapped in his arms.
Scented water dripped on his chest where it fell from the rag as Denei wet his chest down. He let the Demon clean him up, still so wrung out. The fear was still there at the back of his mind, he wanted to flee but he knew he would never get away. He needed space to figure out what was going on with his Demon. Denei was speaking reassuring words as well as praise. The rag didn’t stop moving over his body until he was completely limp in the Demon’s arms.
“What’s going on?” Spencer asked, his voice just as soft as Denei’s had been.
The Demon didn’t answer for a long moment. His hand tracing up and down the center of Spencer’s chest in a calming manner.
“You and your vessel became one, what? Two thousand years ago? You and the human Spencer became one and you chose to take the name Spencer instead of your Angelic name.” There was a pause but Spencer kept his mouth shut. He knew when Denei was being rhetorical. “I’ve not cut on your wings in a very long time and you always scream so good when I do but this time, it was different. You were different. Your grace submitted to me. Fully. I could have done so many wicked things to you but if I had, you wouldn’t be the Angel I fell in love with nor the Spencer I hold dear. It broke, changed something in me.”
Spencer didn’t know what the Demon was saying. What did he mean? He was still so lost.
“The urge to cut you, to make you bleed for me didn’t go away. I wanted to make you hurt so that I could wash that hurt away after. I have always used the feelings that my host feels to describe what I feel for you. I no longer have to. I am no longer Denei. I am Aaron. The Demon in love with an Angel.” Aaron turned him around, still helping him to stay upright. His eyes were back to brown but there was something different about them. Spencer could see the truth in the words reflected in the eyes. Aaron would never be allowed back in Hell just as he was never allowed in Heaven. “I am fully yours, My Angel.”
Spencer wrapped his arms around Aaron’s neck and pulled him close. He kissed the mouth of the Demon he loved and shivered when he was pulled even closer. The touches that skirted across his body were different, surer than Aaron’s were but softer than Denei’s. It was bliss.
A surge of energy crested out from Aaron and Spencer found himself dropped onto the bed with his love above him, how the Demon could have the energy left was beyond him. The bed was remade with clean sheets, no evidence of the past few hours left anywhere in the room. The lights were brighter. Aaron kissed him long and hard until both of them were panting.
“Let me worship you like you deserve.” The words were whispered like the world would shatter if he spoke louder. Spencer couldn’t speak so he nodded and was rewarded with a long kiss before Aaron pulled away from him.
Where just hours before he’d been lost in pain, Spencer was lost in the feelings of love that were being left every single time that Aaron touched his body. He kept his eyes closed in pleasure until he had lips on his own again. He opened them to find that Aaron was smiling down at him. He slid inside of Spencer, he hadn’t even noticed being prepped, he could see the tears in his Demon’s eyes. That right there told him that he had broken the Demon as the Demon had broken him, but it was worth it.
Two broken creatures who had dared to be different and love who they wanted had changed each other so much that neither were what they had been. And it was wonderful.