Title: Those Three Words
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Year: Season 9 (2014)
Spoilers: Up through Season 9
Summary: Aaron knows Spencer’s past better than anyone. It’s why he’s never cared that Spencer has never said those three words. He knows that Spencer loves him with his actions. The words don’t mean anything.
Notes: No Maeve
Spencer was asleep when Aaron finally got Jack down for the night. He saw that his lover had forgone his normal sleep clothes and had grabbed one of Aaron’s t-shirts. The white bandage on his neck stood out in the semi dark room. Aaron stripped out of his clothes quickly, wanting to hold his lover. Spencer had spent several days staying at his apartment instead of home with him. If he hadn’t known that Spencer loved him, he’d have been worried.
The brush with death could have sent Spencer running from him. Up until when Spencer had shown up an hour before dinner, Aaron thought that’s what the genius was doing. He’s shown up with a duffel bag full of things that was now sitting in the corner of the room. He hadn’t offered what was in there and Aaron hadn’t asked. Spencer would tell him in his own time.
Slipping under the covers, as soon as he was settled on his back, Spencer rolled over and curled into him. It was comforting that there was that much trust. That Spencer knew it was him while he was dead asleep. He’d missed his younger lover over the past few days. The team had been given two weeks of mandatory down time. Between Blake resigning and Spencer getting shot and the overall hell the last case had been, Cruz had figured it was time for a break. Aaron hadn’t fought him on it, no one on the team had.
“Thinking too hard,” Spencer mumbled as he opened his eyes to look into Aaron’s. The older man just smiled down at him.
“Just thinking is all. Nothing in particular.”
Spencer smiled back and shifted to where he was lying on top of Aaron, head resting above his heart. Aaron held in the gasp. It was how Spencer always prefered to lay when he was wanting to discuss emotional things.
“I know you want to ask but you’ve held back.”
“Ask what?” There were a lot of things he wanted to ask.
“About the bag. What’s in it.” Spencer released a heavy sigh and sat up to where he was looking down into Aaron’s eyes. He settled his hands on the genius’s thighs to help hold him in place. The only thing he was wearing was Aaron’s shirt. Spencer rarely slept naked and almost never without pants or boxers. “It’s everything important to me. All of the letters that mom has written back to me over the years.” Spencer dropped his eyes away from Aaron’s and sighed. “Other things.”
“Okay?” Aaron asked. Instead of answering, Spencer leaned down carefully and kissed him.
“I spend all my time here but it’s never been home to me. You’ve never asked me to move in but you’ve never said a thing, just made room in the closet. You’ve put up with my issues. Because you love me.”
Aaron smiled and pulled his lover back down for another kiss. When Spencer made to pull back, he easily rolled them to where he was on top of his lover. “I do love you, Spencer.”
“I’ve never said it.” Spencer kept his eyes locked with Aaron’s. The older man didn’t want to say the wrong thing so he thought about it for a long minute.
“You don’t have to. You say it every single time that you cuddle into me when we are sleeping. You say it every single time you allow me to make love to you. You say it when you kiss me on a hard day. You say it when you read to Jack at night. Your actions speak louder than words, Spencer. Jack and I know that you love us.”
Spencer took a deep breath and pulled Aaron’s head down but didn’t kiss him. “I love you, Aaron.” The fear was there in his eyes. It hadn’t been hard, years before, to figure out why Spencer never told anybody that he loved them. Every single person he loved, left. Still the words made his heart feel like it was going to burst out of his chest. They had been together for four years. He couldn’t imagine living without him now. “I love Jack, too.”
Aaron pulled him into a hug. Spencer rubbed his face against his lover’s neck. He could feel his lover shaking in his arms. The fear so great that now that he had said the words, Aaron would leave him. He had the rest of his life though to get rid of that fear. The first thing was the adoption papers in the safe in his office. The second would be the ring hiding in his sock drawer, the one place that Spencer never borrowed clothes of his from and therefore a safe place to hide things he didn’t want him to find. He was so lost in thought that Spencer was able to roll them again.
“And we love you so much.”
“The lease is up on my apartment in a week. My landlord has already leased it out. I had movers get all of my stuff out today. The little bit of clothes that was left is in my car. I’m now technically homeless.”
Aaron felt the smile against his neck right before a quick nip. At the same time he felt Spencer hardening against him. He worried about hurting Spencer’s neck but the young man would tell him if he hurt him. Aaron cupped Spencer’s ass and pulled him in tighter to his body. His lover moaned and started to place open mouthed kisses on his neck.
“What do you want?” Aaron asked.
“Whatever will get you inside of me.” Spencer tipped his head to where his lips were caressing his neck. “I stretched and lubed myself while you were putting Jack down.”
Testing that for himself, Aaron let his fingers walk from cheek to crack, his lover was indeed lubed up and he could feel the muscles constricting at the mere touch from his fingertips on the hole. It took little shifting and then he had a finger inside of his lover. Spencer moaned and thrust back to take the whole finger in.
“It’s not what I want.”
“But I’m inside you,” Aaron pouted.
Spencer shifted to a sitting position, he glared down at Aaron. He responded by holding his lover’s ass cheeks apart and Spencer lifted himself so that he could take Aaron inside him. At the first touch of hand on his cock, Aaron moaned. As Spencer sank down on him, Aaron could hear the muttered words as he thrust in and out of his younger lover but he couldn’t understand them. He was being met thrust for thrust but Spencer was having trouble keeping his head still. Aaron grabbed the genius’s hips and held him still.
“Let’s shift positions. Brace your head and neck on a pillow.” A quick shift in position and Aaron was inside of him with Spencer’s legs wrapped around him. Aaron snaked a hand under his head and gripped his hair to hold him still. Spencer moaned at the grip but continued to meet him thrust for thrust. He could understand the words now. Spencer was uttering words of love. It was like a dam had been broken and all Spencer could do was utter the words he’d kept back for so long. The genius grabbed his face and pulled him close to kiss him.
It was the same position he was in when Spencer’s body went rigid, telling Aaron that he’d come. A few more thrusts and he did as well. Aaron knew that Spencer still couldn’t shower so getting cleaned up quickly would be better. He forced himself out of bed after kissing his lover and cleaned himself up and then grabbed a new rag and wet it down.
Tucking the blankets around Spencer, Aaron went to check on Jack before he laid himself down. This time it was obvious that Spencer was dead to the world. His body was still in a way it never was except in sleep. As soon as he rolled onto his side to spoon his young lover, Spencer scooted back to him. He wasn’t looking forward to seeing Dave in the morning when they went out for a brunch that Dave had invited him on, there was no way the smile on his face was going to be gone by then.
Spencer was staying with him forever. Staying with him and Jack forever. His life was perfect now.