Spencer finished the file on the Blue Ridge Strangler in only an hour. He was sure it was longer than it needed to be but he’d rather include too much than not enough. He placed the folder in his done box and turned to the computer, frowning at it. He hated reading files on the computer. It slowed him down too much. He looked up at Gideon’s office to find him working on a case file as well. He wondered if he and Hotch would mind him going to the records rooms to read the actual files not the scanned versions? He’d get so much more done in a lot less time.
“Do you need something, Reid?” Hotch asked from behind him. Spencer spun in his chair to look at him. He hadn’t noticed the older man leaving his office nor him sneaking up behind him.
“I’m still trying to get caught up on the case files. I read paper files quicker. Reading on computer screens slows me down a lot.”
“So you read at a normal human pace then?” Hotch teased.
Spencer felt the blush on his cheeks. He got along well with Hotch and even Gideon. JJ and Morgan were the odd ones. He didn’t know what to think of them yet.
“Go ahead to the records room. Take your phone; if we need you, we’ll call. Feel free to go there to read when all your paperwork is done after cases. Just let Gideon or I know.”
“Thanks, Hotch.” Spencer grabbed his phone and messenger bag before heading away from his desk and out of the bullpen. He spent hours reading file after file and slipped a few in that he didn’t have to read but wanted to. He’d lost track of time and was surprised when Hotch just appeared at his side. He squinted up at the man for a few seconds before he looked at his watch. It was after five.
“Sorry, Hotch. You didn’t have to come and get me. I would have noticed the time soon enough.” Still Spencer took the hand when it was offered to help him up off the floor. He’d just finished that box he’d been on so he filed it away where he’d gotten it.
“It’s fine, Reid. I actually came to see if now was a good time to have that talk.”
Spencer thought for a few seconds if he’d had made any plans to call anyone and when he figured out he hadn’t he nodded. “Sure.”
“Haley knows I’ll be late. Let’s get dinner and find a quiet place to talk.”
That’s how Spencer found himself sitting at a picnic table in a park with his superior, eating Chinese food. Hotch was eating with chopsticks while Spencer had gone the safe route of a fork. The silence was only slightly uncomfortable.
“Why me?” Spencer asked as he set aside his container of food. He’d eaten enough of it. He couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
“Honestly?” Hotch set aside his food as well and turned to face Spencer slightly. “I wanted you the second you started asking questions at the recruitment seminar. Three kids groaned and you just ignored them. When Gideon asked you to stick around after and only you, you smirked. I wanted to take you back to your dorm and get you to wipe that smirk off your face. Gideon came back to the hotel later that night and he started talking about a Doctor Reid. It took a while to connect the very intelligent man in the seminar to Doctor Reid. He spoke of your IQ and your degrees. I knew then that he wanted you for the unit. I shut all the wanting down and looked at you without lust filled thoughts. I agreed with his recommendation and we worked on getting you into the unit.”
“Why? No one has ever looked at me and thought, I want to fuck him.” At least no one that he wanted to have sex with.
“It’s good for me,” Hotch said as he gave Spencer the feral smile he’d used just the night before in the hotel room. “They look at you and they see what you want them to see. I see what you are hiding, unconscious or not. You have a passion for learning and figuring things out. There is no reason to think that you wouldn’t turn that passion into sex as well. You control everything about yourself. Last night I was able to get you out of that shell. All you wanted was release. It’s powerful and heady to get someone to become that.”
“So you were being truthful when you said the glasses tipped you over.”
“You look a lot younger with them on yes but so much more innocent as well.”
“How would this work?” Spencer couldn’t look at him now. Too many thoughts racing through his head. This was so far out of his realm of comfortable but he wanted it. Oh, how did he want it. He knew the job was going to be hard on his personal life, but he didn’t really have one. A marriage and settling down with a woman, he didn’t want that. At least not at the moment. Working at the BAU was hard on marriages. David Rossi had three in his time. Hotch was happily married it seemed, outside of what he was seeking with Spencer.
“What do you mean?”
“If you are comfortable I wouldn’t mind using your place. It’s not like we need the charges on either one of our cards or the chance of someone seeing us. Last night was an anomaly. I’ve never in a hotel after a case before. Then again, my friend that helped me out before this lived here in DC. I won’t on a case, but after…I can’t say it won’t happen again.” A hand on his face turned Spencer’s head to where he was looking in Hotch’s eyes. “I am not pressuring you, am I? I don’t want to do that. Nothing will happen with you on the team if you say no now or somewhere down the road. People change.”
“No, you aren’t pressuring me.” Spencer watched the relief in the older man’s eyes as he spoke the words. The hand let go of his face, but he didn’t turn away. “I wouldn’t mind using my place. It’s a pretty quiet building and the neighbors aren’t that nosey from what I can tell.”
“That’s good. I can’t do this without consent, Reid. Never. With this job, I just can’t. Even if it’s the worst case ever and I am so pissed and need it, if you aren’t on the same page, you have to tell me. There is a big difference between willing rough sex and unwilling. I…” Hotch paused. His eyes dropped down, and then he looked back up a long minute later. “I don’t ever want to hurt you that way. Ever.”
“I won’t let you. About my…” Spencer looked around the area to see if people were around. “I’ve had sex twice. It was with classmates once I’d turned eighteen. We’d decided to get our first sexual encounters over. I had sex with a man and a woman but the man was on the receiving end. He was gay and wanted his first time with a someone he trusted enough. I felt honored but unwilling to have him do the same to me.”
“We don’t have to go there before you are ready. Don’t get me wrong.” Hotch shifted closer to Spencer and leaned in even closer to his ear. “I want to feel you clenched around my cock. I want you screaming as I pound into you.”
“Hotch.” Spencer could feel the blush on his cheeks as he looked at the families who were scattered around. He willed himself not to get hard.
“What’s wrong, Reid? A little off balance?”
“Not used to discussing things like this at all. The last time I talked about sex was making sure I understood the scientific process of prepping a man.” Spencer figured he’d get better at talking about it. Of course, it seemed that Hotch liked him innocent so maybe getting used to it wouldn’t be a good thing.
Hotch started laughing and it dispelled the sexual tension in the air. “Of course it would have been with your science buddies. Why would I have thought anything different?”
“I don’t know.” Spencer smiled, and he watched as Hotch did as well.
“There is one more thing we do need to discuss. Well it’s two things.” The smile dropped off his face and Hotch turned to look him in the eyes again. “I don’t expect you to not date and have sex with other people. It’s not like I expect you to live with the once and a while sex we will be having. I know given what we’ve talked about that you don’t exactly go out on dates and such but I wanted you to know I don’t think that I own you.”
“I didn’t think you would think you did. You are right though, I tend to shy away from dating and such. I just don’t want that right now. Getting used to being here and working not studying. I also don’t see myself getting married right now.” Spencer looked away from his superior. Now wasn’t the time for any of that.
“Last night, I probably shouldn’t have licked you clean, it wasn’t exactly safe but given that it had been awhile since your last encounter and I know that you were given a clean bill of health before you started at the BAU, I figured I was safe.”
“I didn’t even…” Spencer looked over at him.
“That’s on me. The man I was with before. He was clean. He wasn’t interested in a relationship but wanted released from time to time and we worked well together. We used condoms for the actual penetration but that was more for clean up than anything else. We get tested enough at work after cases where we get blood on us so I wouldn’t worry about anything. I just ask that if you do have sex with someone, use a condom.”
“Oh God, yes. I…I’ve never had penetrative sex without a condom. As to…” Spencer stopped trying to figure out what words he wanted to use. All of them were vulgar. “Giving head?” Hotch nodded and Spencer continued. “Last night was the first time that anyone has ever done it to me and I’ve never given it to someone.”
“Trust?” The word left Hotch’s mouth and it wasn’t said with derision. “This job jades us to a lot of things and well I think you are pretty equipped to not have a crash as some do. Getting you in the unit at your age was an uphill battle. There is a reason it’s generally people who have been at jobs for several years who are placed in the unit. The BAU has one of the highest rates of burnouts outside of undercover work in the law enforcement world.”
“Thanks. I’ll let you know if I ever do anything with anyone.”
“Haley and I are trying to get pregnant and an STD wouldn’t be a good thing.”
“No. The treatments for STDs are pretty harsh and can…” Spencer stopped when Hotch raised an eyebrow at him. The older man snuck a look at his watch.
“Ready to go talk to Haley?”
“What?” Spencer asked, shocked. He figured he’d have to ask to speak to her.
“You value knowledge and while you trust that what I told you is the truth, I don’t want any doubt in your mind because while I feel that you can separate what we do behind closed doors and my position on the team, if you start to doubt me in one, you will doubt me in the other. So I am going to introduce you to my wife and then leave the two of you to talk.”
Spencer found that the shock of the words carried him right up until Hotch was opening the front door to his house. He motioned the younger man inside before moving inside himself.
“I’m home and I brought Doctor Reid with me.”
Seconds later, a young looking woman with blonde hair came around the corner with a smile on her face. Spencer forced a smile on his face. He wasn’t sure that this was the right thing to do. He had no clue what the expect here. He didn’t know what to do. Did he offer to shake her hand? Just wave?
“Doctor Reid, welcome to my home. Aaron’s talked a lot about the newest member of his team. He’s really happy to have you on it.” Haley stepped up to him and gave him a hug before he could react at all. “You look like you barely eat. Did Aaron feed you before bringing you over?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Spencer answered by rote.
Haley looked at him shocked. “There’s no ma’am here. Call me Haley. Come in and sit down. Can I offer you a drink? I think Aaron said you like coffee. I started a pot so I hope so.” There was no nervousness in her tone or her body language. Spencer tried his hardest not to profile her. To rip her words apart and find something in them that condemned him. No matter if Haley knew about him or not, he was the other ‘woman,’ the one who had sex with her husband outside of the marital bed.
“Yes. I like coffee and some would be wonderful.” Spencer forced a smile on his face as Haley reached out for his arm and pulled him towards the kitchen. Hotch clasped him on the shoulder as he passed, right where he had left a bruise the night before. The tight squeeze told the young man that he had planned on that. The pain helped calm him down.
Haley all but shoved him into a chair and set the sugar bowl down in front of him while she wandered off to fill a mug with coffee. Spencer heard Hotch move away from the front door and go up the stairs. A mug was set down in front of him, and Haley took the seat across from him at the table. This was all so odd and so surreal. The way that she was acting was…strange. Spencer couldn’t put his finger on it. He prepared his coffee as a way to prolong having to talk and when he finally looked up at her, he figured it out.
“He asked before he even thought about talking to me didn’t he?” It was the only thing that made sense and it fit with Hotch’s personality.
Haley nodded. “Yes. When he got back from California actually. A good friend of his has helped him with this for years. He recently moved back home to help with his ailing parents. Aaron has been looking for someone else. Picking up a stranger in a bar has never enticed him. I can understand. I worried for the first few months after I told him what I thought. He fought it. Aaron is loyal. In the end, Jake took things into his own hands. I saw how different he was after that first night. It took him a while to see how much good it did for him as well. It still upsets me sometimes that I can’t give him everything he needs when he does for me. I’ve accepted it.”
“But you are giving him what he needs.” Spencer set his mug down on the table and forced himself to look at her. “It’s not with you but you are giving him the outlet. You’ve set down what you are comfortable with and he’s stood by that. It’s no different than a husband who reads to relieve stress or even gambles. Working in this field and studying it like I have, this is no different. His method of release is just different but it fits him. Has he said much about the case? How it ended?”
“That the UnSub probably won’t ever wake up and won’t face prosecution for what he has done, yes he told me as much as he normally does.”
Spencer lifted the mug back up to drink. “It bothers him. As it should. If he can get out all the bad feelings before he comes home to you, he can be happier which means you can be happier.”
“Spent a while thinking about this have you?” Haley looked happy at that and it was kind of freaking Spencer out.
“I have nothing but time. One can only read so many case files to get caught up.” On the flight home, it’s all he’d thought about. How stupid an idea it was to even be thinking of keeping a sexual relationship with a superior but that singular sexual encounter he’d had with him had been better than his imagination had ever been able to come up with, and he was pretty sure his imagination was damn good. Could he say no to that?
Haley laughed and took a sip of her own mug of coffee.
“I never thought in a million years that I would be sitting and having this conversation with anyone much less the wife of my superior. It’s a little surreal.”
“Jake was a little freaked out as well. I guess that’s why I am so calm. Jake was so good for Aaron but you seem like a nice guy and you will get that part of him that very few can understand. And I like you. Maybe I’ll have someone on the team to talk to when they all want to go out.”
Spencer smiled despite himself. He found he was liking Haley.