Series: Love Heals the Shattered Soul
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Year: Season 7 (2012)
Tags: UST, Cross-dressing,
Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid,
Spoilers: Up through Season 7
Summary: It was an innocent question, really it was. Little did Aaron know that Jack’s question was going to change his life.
Notes: I just can’t say no to what pops into my mind. I just can’t.
“Today is Friday. So my sleepover with Adam and Damien is tomorrow?” Jack asked as Aaron set down a snack in front of son. It was still several hours until dinner and it wouldn’t hurt him.
“Yes. Spencer is coming over in the morning to take you shopping to pick up snacks and whatever you want to eat for dinner while I run into the office to finish up some paperwork.” He’d taken off early so that they could work on preparing the living room for the two boys that were coming over in the afternoon and spending the night.
Since the failed date that was Jack’s surprise for them, Spencer had been around a lot more on the weekends but he always went home. Even Jack’s cajoling hadn’t worked to get him to stay in the guest room. He hoped to convince Spencer to stay the night on Saturday so that he had another adult with him. Jessica had offered but Aaron wanted her to have a weekend and he wanted a weekend with Spencer in his apartment, even with children around.
“So Spencer is taking me to the grocery store?” Jack asked.
Aaron turned to look back at Jack who had started to eat on a cookie from his plate. He knew the look on his son’s face well. Jack wanted something.
“Yes.” Aaron leaned against the counter crossing his arms across his chest and just looked at Jack.
“Iwanttogotothemallandgetapurpledress,” Jack said quickly, running all his words together. He looked down at his plate and fiddled with the cookie in his hand, getting crumbs everywhere. Aaron didn’t let his shock show on his face. He’d heard what his son had asked. He’d plainly heard the words even though Jack had said them so quickly. He just looked at Jack. He’d never denied his son anything he wanted and he wasn’t going to start now. Still he picked up his phone and opened his messaging app and typed out a quick message asking Spencer to come over as soon as he got off work.
“I am not saying no, Jack but we need to talk to Spencer. I don’t know if we are going to have time to do it tonight and if Spencer comes and watches you earlier in the morning, I can go into work earlier and then after I get off you and I or even you, I, and Spencer can go to the mall. It’s going to take about two hours to do that with traffic and such. If he agrees, we can go tomorrow. If not we might have to wait until Sunday.”
“Okay!” Jack said. He stuffed his whole cookie in his mouth before wiping his hands on the napkin beside him and then ran over to hug Aaron. He crouched and picked Jack up, kissing his cheek. When Jack wiggled to get back down he did. The now hyper child ran back over and finished off his last cookie and the whole glass of milk before running out of the room.
Before Aaron could say anything, Jack ran back in. Grabbed his plate and glass and set them down by the sink, smiled at his dad and then took off again. He had a bedroom to clean while Hotch did a little bit of pick up around the rest of the apartment. He was shocked when an hour later a knock sounds at the apartment door. He knew the knock. Spencer at least had another hour of work.
“Spencer?” Aaron asked as he opened the door. Instead of answering, Spencer shoved a box at him and then bent down to pick up two bags.
“Garcia heard you talking to me about the sleepover so. These are treats for the kids as well as breakfast for them for Sunday. I was told to deliver them as soon as I could. Morgan saw your text and asked what you wanted. I said I had no idea and Garcia heard us. I was ushered out. I’d been done with my files for two hours. I actually had started on some of yours.”
“Mine? Spencer…” But Spencer just waved his hand and Aaron shut his mouth. He knew what he’d find the next morning when he went into the office. Pages of handwritten notes about cases. It had been a long while since Spencer had done that. It warmed his heart. “I want to talk to you.”
“I got that from your text. What’s wrong?” Spencer’s face was passive. Aaron hated that he felt he had to use it around him, even now.
“Nothing is wrong. Do you remember the talk we had after Jack started talking about Damien more and more?” That talk had been embarrassing. Enlightening but embarrassing.
“Yes.” Spencer’s eyes were wide. He set the two bags down in the kitchen and turned to look at Aaron who had followed him. “Did he ask?”
“Yes. He wants to get a purple dress.” The two had talked again and again about what Aaron’s response was going to be. Spencer had been the first to bring it up and that it could happen. Jack was curious. And as long as what was being asked wasn’t going to hurt him, Aaron would never say no.
“Purple? I’d guessed a few colors but purple wasn’t on the list.” Spencer leaned against the counter and looked at Aaron. “A purple dress.”
“A purple dress from the mall. That makes me think that he saw something there that he liked. Jessica took him shopping the other day at the mall for clothes for when he goes to visit the extended family in Georgia.”
“That’s two hours added. Does he want it for tomorrow?” Spencer’s head tilted to the side. He was thinking. Aaron let him think. “Does he want you to go? There is just enough time tonight…”
“No. I think he wants you as well. I told him I would ask if you wanted to come over early tomorrow so I can head into work earlier. If I can get done in time we should have just enough time to run to the mall after you two get done shopping and get back before Adam and Damien are set to arrive.”
“What time do you think I should get here?”
“As early as you can.” Aaron kept his mouth shut on the best idea for them. If Spencer stayed the night, Aaron could leave whenever he got ready and Spencer wouldn’t even have to wake up. He didn’t say a word though. “Jack’s cleaning his room while I do a little cleaning in here. I just wanted to talk to you about this. Thanks for bringing the snacks.”
Spencer frowned. He even started to fidget. Aaron wondered what he had said to cause Spencer to act like that but before he could think, Spencer was talking again. “Okay. Ummm. Sure. I’ll see you in the morning, Hotch.” The younger man nodded before heading towards the door.
It wasn’t until Spencer had his hand on the door that Aaron figured out what he’d said. The use of ‘Hotch’ had thrown him. Spencer had taken his words as a dismissal. Instead of yelling out for him to stop, Aaron ran up to him and stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
“I wasn’t telling you to go. You can stay. I wanted to make sure you understood that I was thankful for you bringing those. If Garcia had dropped them off, I might not have gotten her out of the apartment.” Aaron leaned his head on Spencer’s shoulder. He slid a hand around and he let it rest on Spencer’s stomach when the younger man relaxed. He enjoyed the little touches that Spencer was allowing again. “I didn’t mean it the way I sounded.”
“You want me to stay?”
“It would make much more sense if you just stayed the night, Spencer.” Aaron took the final step that molded his front to Spencer’s back, his head resting over Spencer’s shoulder now. Staying over was a big step. The only time that Spencer had stayed was the weekend of his bad migraine. “I know that you have at least one go bag in your car and I know you took it to work today.”
Spencer relaxed even more into his hold before turning around. Aaron stayed still while he looped his arms around his neck. Spencer leaned back into the door, resting on it, pulling Aaron with him. He settled his hands on Spencer’s waist.
“This okay?” Aaron whispered.
Nodding, Spencer pulled Aaron in even closer with his arms and kissed him. Aaron expected him to pull back, not to extend the kiss for a long period. He went with the flow though. When a hand moved from his neck to the back of his head, he was surprised. Spencer tipped his head to the side more and then a tongue was tracing his lips. His mouth dropped open in surprise. Spencer’s tongue darted inside his mouth and it was heaven. He’d forgotten what Spencer tasted like.
Spencer pulled his hands away and Aaron expected the kiss to end but instead the hands landed on his hips, holding him still. He didn’t care. He never wanted the kiss to end. But as all good things must come to an end, so did the kiss. It ended though when the sound of running feet told them that Jack was coming into the living room. Aaron expected Spencer to let go of him but he didn’t. The kiss stopped but he still had his hands on Aaron’s hips when Jack rounded the corner. The boy’s eyes widened but he said nothing just stepped up to the two men and rested his head on Aaron’s hip, on top of Spencer’s hand.
“Did you ask?” Jack whispered.
“How do you feel about Spencer staying the night tonight so that I can go into work super early?”
“YES!” Jack started jumping up and down and then threw his arms around both men, squeezing as tight as he could. “That means Spencer gets to help with cleaning!”
“And you still have to help,” Aaron said with a stern smile on his face. Jack nodded and took off back towards his room. “I think I might regret allowing his cookies as a snack.”
Spencer snorted and covered it up behind his hand. Aaron turned to look at him and smirked as he leaned closer. The younger man figured out what he was doing just a second too late and his hand landed on a strip of cloth covered skin right where ass cheek met leg and he dug in. Spencer tried to squirm away but Aaron was ready. He trapped the younger man with his other hand on his hip. Finally, after giving up on getting away, Spencer tried to grab at the tickling hand but couldn’t get a good grip.
After another minute, Aaron was about to stop when Spencer’s whole body went lax and he just dropped from sight. He landed hard on his ass on the floor and Aaron looked down to make sure he hadn’t hurt himself. The smirk on Spencer’s face told him that it he had meant to do it. Aaron was leaning on the door to stop himself from falling at the sudden loss of what had been helping to hold him up.
The air was thick as Aaron realized the position they were in. Spencer was right at groin level and after their short make out session, he’d been a little aroused. Taking in his position, Spencer’s eyes widened. There was no safe way for him to stand up so Aaron needed to be the one to back up. Yet he couldn’t make his legs move. It wasn’t until Spencer unconsciously licked his lips that Aaron finally pushed off the door and took a few steps back. He stuck his hand out to help him up and Spencer took it willingly.
The easiness between the two of them disappeared for the rest of the night. Every time that Aaron was close to Spencer the younger man tensed and it caused Aaron to back off. Jack thankfully did not ask what was wrong or act like anything was different.
Aaron had never been so happy for night to come. That tension wasn’t gone from between the two of them but every single time that he opened his mouth to talk, Spencer would start on a weird tangent. That meant that he wasn’t ready to talk and Aaron let him lead. He just didn’t like going to sleep with Spencer just a room away and the tension still there. He wasn’t going to force the issue though.
Aaron was happy to escape the office. He was later than he wanted to be but not too late that they had to cancel the trip to the mall. So he texted Spencer and said that he was leaving the BAU and if he wanted to just meet them at the mall, he’d be there as soon as he could. He got back a simple Okay from the genius.
The trip took over an hour with Saturday traffic but he finally pulled into a spot at the mall and headed inside. It wasn’t hard to spot Spencer at the edge of the play area in the middle of the mall. He was standing outside the area not inside on the benches. He was dressed in one of his three pieces suits and looked like sex on a stick to Aaron. And it seemed that many of the mother’s near him were thinking the same thing. He had a cup of coffee in one hand and his other was across his chest, tucked into the opposite elbow. His eyes were tracking Jack as he played with other kids, he didn’t even see the women looking at him.
Spencer was the most attentive parent there at the time. Aaron’s thoughts stopped him cold. He’d thought of Spencer as a parental like figure to Jack but that was the first time he’d ever actually called Spencer a parent. The shy genius who had freaked out at the thought of holding Jack when he’d been born. The forbidden words that he’s spoken only once just days before the event flashed through his mind.
Aaron slipped up behind Spencer and he knew that the younger man knew he was there. His posture relaxed but his eyes didn’t. Aaron wrapped his arms around Spencer’s shoulders, holding him close. Still Spencer said nothing. The women around the area though glared. There was also the really weird, heat filled gaze from a woman about ten feet away from them that kind of scared him. He turned away from her quickly. When it was clear that Aaron wasn’t going to pull away from him, Spencer finally leaned back into him.
“How long do you think it will take Jack to notice that I am here?” Aaron whispered in Spencer’s ear. The awkwardness of the night before was mostly gone. It had been something that neither of them had planned and he wasn’t going to push any of it. They were adults. Tension was going to be normal.
“I’d say another twenty two point three seconds as that’s when he should turn to wave at me.”
Aaron waited and was rewarded with a large smile on Jack’s face when the boy turned to wave at Spencer and finally noticed him.
“DAD!” Jack screamed as he moved towards them at a quick pace. Aaron let go of Spencer to move over and pick up Jack from where he’d jumped up to the bench seat that wrapped around the area. “Are you ready? Can we go?”
“Let’s get Spencer another cup of coffee and then we can. He’s never experienced shopping for clothes with you before.”
“No, I spent an hour at the store while we picked up candy for dessert sushi with him today.”
Aaron looked at Spencer with a look of shock on his face. Dessert sushi? What was that?
Spencer answered before he could ask. “Dessert sushi is made with candy. Foot Roll Ups are the wrap. Jack promises they are good.”
Aaron eyed his son who just smiled and held his hands out to Spencer. The younger man quickly drank the last of his coffee. He tossed the cup in the trash and then instead of taking the boy, turned and crouched some. It took Aaron a few seconds to figure out what he wanted but Jack knew. As soon as Aaron held him out, Jack wrapped his legs around Spencer’s neck and then his hands went to Spencer hair. Worried about Jack jerking the hair out of his head, Aaron placed a hand on Jack’s back as Spencer straightened.
“I like it up here!” Jack giggled as Spencer took a step, bouncing him.
“He saw a father and son doing it and wanted to so we tried it when we got here. I have to say in the busy mall foot traffic, he’s much easier to keep an eye on.” Spencer turned as he talked, all smiles. Jack was in heaven as he was now above every single person in the entire mall. Spencer had locked one of his hands around Jack’s ankles which were crossed on his chest. It was so cute. Aaron wanted to take a picture but he wasn’t sure how Spencer would like it.
“Dad, take a picture so we can send it to Aunt Jessica!” Jack squealed.
Spencer stopped walking and nodded at Aaron, telling him it was fine. He snapped the picture and then showed it to Jack who deemed it worthy of sending out. The rest of the walk to the family clothing store was filled with Jack’s words on what all they had bought for food for the sleepover. Spencer’s free hand slipped down and linked with his own. Aaron tangled their fingers together and smiled.
When Jack found the section he was looking for, Aaron kept a close eye on the others in the store. He wanted to be able to head anybody off at the pass if they wanted to make an issue. Spencer moved around the racks of clothes, looking at skirts and dresses. He held up a few but Jack didn’t like any of them. He didn’t pay attention as Spencer wandered away from the little girl’s section. It wasn’t until Jack handed over a dress that he liked that Aaron realized Spencer wasn’t in sight. He turned to try and find the genius while keeping Jack in sight but stopped and dropped his mouth open.
Spencer was standing in the Women’s section and was holding up a dress. It looked to be a deep purple and was solid in color. He was holding up the dress to his body and looking down at it. Aaron felt himself respond and used the kid’s dress he was holding to hide it. The thought of Spencer in a dress was a little shocking. He’d never been interested in crossdressing before but the image of Spencer in a dress like that was…arousing.
The thought of bending him over the dining room table, the dress just flipped up over his back, to fuck him was an image that he didn’t think he could ever be able to get out of his mind. He chalked it up to the fact that he hadn’t had sex in a while and that scene with Spencer the day before. Except when he looked up from the dress into Spencer’s face. The heat in that gaze said he wasn’t the only one thinking of something sexual.
“Dad! I found another two! Can I go try them on?” Jack called out and Aaron turned to look at Jack who was now standing just a few feet away. When he looked back, Spencer had put the dress up and had moved towards the men’s dressing rooms. Jack moved towards him. Aaron followed, keeping the evidence of his arousal hidden behind the first dress. When he passed it off to Jack so that he could try it on, Aaron kept a chair between him and other people.
Aaron noticed though that Spencer had shifted his messenger bag to sit in front of his own groin. The dressing room attendant wasn’t paying attention to them and had barely paid attention to what Jack had taken in the room with him. Aaron slipped behind Spencer so he could whisper in his ear.
“What are you thinking about?” Aaron asked as he wrapped an arm around him. Spencer laughed, lowly and stepped back. His backside came in contact with Aaron’s groin and he wiggled. Aaron squeezed his arm in warning. There was no way that Spencer could miss how hard he was.
“The same as you it seems, Aaron. But unlike you, I know what I look like in a dress.”
Aaron’s eyebrows rose. He knew that Spencer couldn’t see it but he was shocked. He tried to think if he had ever heard Morgan talk about Spencer in a dress but it didn’t pop in his mind.
“College. There was a drag contest. I won. I think that Ethan has pictures. He even sent one to mom. She was quite proud of me. So what are you thinking about?”
“I’m thinking about a lot of things but mainly you in a dress, stretched out on the table. The skirt of the dress flipped up and me inside of you. The thought is a lot more erotic than I ever thought it would be.” Just talking about it made him think about it more and he felt himself harden even more.
“Might be something we think about much later. Just remember that I will not be in heels.”
“No heels,” Aaron promised.
Jack though chose that moment to step out of the dressing room. Aaron looked at his son in a purple dress. It wasn’t the first one that Jack had chosen. He looked different in it. Aaron couldn’t form words. He’d thought of little the past day other than Jack and he thought he was prepared to see his son in a dress. Any excitement he had for Spencer in a dress was gone now.
“That looks cute, Jack,” Spencer said as he moved over and crouched in front of the boy. He pulled at the edge of the dress, straightening it.
“I didn’t like the other two. Too itchy.”
“Did you want to look at any others?”
“No. I like this one.” Jack looked up at Aaron. “Do you like it, dad?”
Aaron nodded before he finally found his voice. “Yes, Jack it looks good on you.” He sent up a silent prayer that Haley wasn’t upset.
“So I can get it?” Jack looked nervous.
“Of course. Now I think that we have just enough time for a quick ice cream stop if we hurry. So change back so you don’t get something on your dress.”
Jack smiled at him and rushed back into the dressing room. Spencer straightened up and turned back to face him. The younger man had a very warm smile on his face. He stepped close and kissed Aaron’s cheek.
“You are a wonderful father, Aaron. Don’t let anyone else tell you any different.”
“I would not have had the same reaction if you hadn’t warned me it might happen. I…we see too much in our job for me not to be the best I can be but things like this. You think that your kid is never going to want to do that.”
“I think you would have been better than you think. You love Jack and you want him happy.”
“I don’t want to do tonight without you, Spencer. Please tell you you will stay.” Aaron couldn’t keep the pleading out of his voice.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Why don’t we play it by ear. I stayed last night. We are dancing too close to something I am not sure I am ready for.” Spencer was close to him but their bodies weren’t touching.
“I’m sorry about…” Spencer’s hand over his mouth stopped him.
“I asked. I knew what that question would bring. I want that. I want to be able to talk and flirt but I just…I don’t know what I am ready for and it worries me and freaks me out. I’m afraid, Aaron, that in a rush to get to normal, I’ll go passed what I am ready for.”
Aaron could understand that. He really could. Taking a step back, Aaron smiled. Space. He could do that. Spencer would at least stay for a little bit of the start of the sleepover. He would be happy with whatever time he could get from him.