Spencer didn’t remember driving home. He had Gideon’s gun, badge, and letter. The items were sitting in front of him on his coffee table. He didn’t know what to feel. Gideon had been as close to a father figure that he’d ever had. The letter was nowhere near enough of a goodbye from the man.
Coward was never a word that he would have used to describe anyone in the BAU, much less Gideon. It was the only term he could use. He was just gone. Spencer knew from the letter what was going through Gideon’s head but it didn’t excuse him abandoning the team like he had.
Spencer wasn’t an idiot. He knew that Prentiss had her reasons for her putting in a transfer but there was a lot more to her departure and return than she or Hotch were saying. As to Hotch, Spencer was worried about him. He’d been suspended for two weeks over the end of the case in Flagstaff. There was even a lot going on at home for him. Spencer wondered if he shouldn’t have not kept his suspicions to himself.
The apartment was dead silent. The only noise came from outside so when the loud knock sounded, Spencer jumped in his seat and kicked the coffee table. A pile of books toppled over.
“Reid?” Hotch questioned through the door. Spencer jumped up and ran to the door. He flung it open. Hotch was looking him up and down but he saw his eyes. Had Gideon left him word? Hotch looked devastated.
“You scared me and I knocked over a pile of books.”
“Can I come in?” Hotch waved to the interior of the apartment.
“Of course.” Spencer stepped back to allow him in. Hotch moved right for the couch and he knew the second the older man saw the gun and badge.
Hotch turned to look at him. “Reid?”
“I went to the cabin. It was unlocked and I found the gun and badge sitting along with a letter. It was addressed to me.” Spencer moved around to the other side of the couch and bent to grab the letter. He handed it off to Hotch and sat down. Tucking his knees up to his chest. Hotch read through the letter with a sigh, standing the entire time.
“At least he left a letter.”
“What do you mean?” Spencer looked at him in shock.
“I came home to an empty house. Haley took all of her things as well as some of Jack’s. Left no note.”
“Did you get a hold of her?” Spencer let his legs drop as Hotch finally took a seat on the couch, in the seat next to him. He wanted to reach out and touch but didn’t know if Hotch would want it. He’d let the older man dictate what went on. Spencer didn’t understand why the older man was here not trying to find Haley. Did Hotch want sex? Spencer looked at him, trying to find out.
“Yes and no. I called her sister, Jessica. She’s staying with her right now. Through Jessica I told Haley that she can come home. I will go stay at a hotel while we work through this.”
Spencer looked away from Hotch.
“I know you went to the park with Haley, Reid and since then you’ve had trouble meeting my eyes when we aren’t on a case.” Hotch reached out and forced his gaze back over to him. Lying to Hotch was hard to do when looking at him. He didn’t want to. “While I was on suspension, someone called the house. I answered and they hung up. Then Haley’s cell rang. She left just after.”
Spencer tried to turn his head but Hotch’s grip was too tight. He stared into Hotch’s eyes and then gave in, relaxing.
“She got a call from someone and it didn’t take long for me to figure out the person she was talking to was not you. Some of the things she said and her tone…” Spencer didn’t want to say the words.
“I didn’t know if it was something you knew about or not but I didn’t want to bring it up.”
“It’s okay, Reid. I wish she hadn’t put you in that place no matter our relationship.”
“I’m sorry.” Spencer reached out but changed the direction from touching Hotch’s face to grabbing his shoulder. He got a smile in return. Hotch’s fingers were hot on his face.
“I came over because I didn’t want to be alone but with Gideon…”
Spencer could see that Hotch needed something. He remembered back to their first time in the hotel room. Hotch had never followed through with the gag. “Do you have a gag in your bag of surprises?”
Hotch looked at him in surprise. His eyes were wider than Spencer had ever seen him as the words fully sunk in. The older man nodded.
“Let’s go use that.” Spencer stood up and held out his hand. His body was so aching to be used. He wanted to block the whole night out. It had been months since Hotch had fucked him and he wanted it.
“Are you sure?” Hotch kept their eyes locked.
“What kind of gag do you have?” Spencer pulled at him until they were at the bedroom door. When he opened the door he dropped Hotch’s hand and moved to sit on the bed. Hotch walked to the closet and pulled the bag from the back corner. It was set on the floor between Spencer’s spread legs and Hotch crouched in front of him. The first thing that was pulled out after the man opened it was the cuffs.
Spencer shifted on the bed, staring at the cuffs. He wasn’t ready for that. He kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want to ruin the moment if Hotch wasn’t going to use them. Next came a rubber sleeve and Spencer almost took it from him but it was set down beside the cuffs quickly. It took a few seconds for Spencer to figure out what it was to be used for. That made him start to blush and start to get hard at the same time. He wasn’t hard enough for his pants to tent but it wouldn’t be long. Next came a satin bag. Hotch didn’t set that down, instead he opened it and pulled out what looked like an emergency candle.
“You seem pretty open and wax play is something I’ve wanted to try. If you say no, I’ll take it home.”
“You mean you dripping hot wax on my skin?” Spencer reached out and touched the candle. Hotch kept it steady and nodded. “I don’t have an aversion to trying it.”
Hotch laughed at his words and slipped the candle back into the bag. Next came out another bag but it was different. He could hear the plastic part crunch but the outside was satin. Hotch handed it over at the same time that he reached back into the bag. Spencer wasn’t ready for what Hotch pulled out. It was a set of three anal plugs, still in the package. Each was a different size.
“You beat me to this but I doubt you bought more than one. We can play around with sizes.”
Spencer could only nod. The smallest in the pack was the same size as the one he had bought. Next came out a clear rubber cock ring. When Hotch held it out, he took it. He set the empty bag down, figuring it was for the plugs when they finally got into the pack. He liked that Hotch hadn’t opened the package before hand. The older man reached up and touched the ring and it started to vibrate. Spencer’s eyes widened and he nearly dropped it.
“Hotch!” Spencer shoved the vibrating thing at him. “Is that for you or me?”
“Either. If you want to try it when I am not here, that is fine. Same with the sleeve.” Hotch looked up at him and Spencer felt his blush deepening at the same time he got harder. There was no way that Hotch was missing that he was hard as a rock now. The other man was crouched at just the right angle to where Spencer couldn’t tell if he was hard or not. “You look sexy with that blush going on.”
Hotch pulled out a length of royal blue fabric next. Spencer ignored the sexy comment. “I don’t like ball gags. Makes me think too much of a case that happened not long after I joined the BAU.”
“So a cleave gag?” Spencer asked, reaching out and touching the fabric.
“We can try that. I actually prefer to knot the fabric and make a ball that way. We don’t have to this time.”
“We can try it. I’ve never tried a gag before.” Spencer let the fabric go.
“That’s because before this you were pretty vanilla. So…” Hotch placed all the items except the fabric back into the bag and then looked back up at Spencer. “Non verbal safeword?”
“Oh!” Spencer looked at Hotch trying to figure out what he could use. The cuffs were slipped back into the bag so he knew he wasn’t going to be bound this time but others he might be. He understood Hotch wanting to get the safety part done. He tried to think about the last time he’d been cuffed. Snapping would work. “Two snaps for stopping and one for something is wrong and needs fixed.”
“Okay. I will make sure you can always snap yours fingers. Won’t be hard. Before we strip and I gag you, is there anything we have done before that you don’t want to do?” Hotch was keeping their eyes locked. Spencer knew his eyes told the truth even when he lied.
“What do you want to do?” Spencer wasn’t sure that there was anything that he didn’t want to not do.”
Hotch laughed, lust in his voice. “I was going to gag you and play with you until you scream. Make you hold onto the headboard and stop if you let go.”
“Like stop all the way?” Spencer asked. That didn’t sound fun for him much less Hotch.
“No, just until you grab on again. I’m sure it won’t take you long to learn what to do.” Hotch reached out and pulled Spencer into a hard kiss. He heard the bag being shoved away then he was jerked off the bed into the older man’s lap. “Get your touch fill now because it’s going to be a while before you can.”
Spencer moaned at the words and kissed Hotch again. He started unbuttoning the dress shirt and laughed when scratching his nails down Hotch’s chest had him shivering. He could feel the older man moving but didn’t know what he was doing until Hotch’s head moved away. The fabric was being held up, the knot already in it. He’d been tying the knots.
Opening his mouth, Spencer waited. Hotch just stared for a minute and then raised the gag up to his mouth. The knot fit comfortably behind his teeth. Hotch pulled his own hand up and held the knot in place. The gag was tied tight and Spencer could feel the drool start. He liked that Hotch chose what seemed to be a pretty absorbent fabric.
“Snap once if it becomes too tight or your jaw starts to hurt.”
“I don’t want you to hurt your jaw, Reid because you think I need this. I’ll be very upset.” Hotch kept their gazes locked as Spencer nodded again. Before he could do anything else, Hotch was pulling his shirt off. He’d changed into a t-shirt when he’d gotten home and he was thankful.
“So hard for me and willing.” Hotch nipped at his chest and then a hand slipped to his crotch. Spencer moaned and the sound of it muffled had him twitching in the other man’s hand.
“Your mouth and words are your best weapon after your mind and right now you can’t use any. Do you like that?” Hotch didn’t wait for an answer. He looked downward to work open Spencer’s pants. He hadn’t been told he couldn’t touch yet so he reached out to slip Hotch’s shirt and jacket off. He was let go of long enough to sweep the fabric off arms and then he was pushed up to a standing position.
Hotch shifted to his knees and pulled Spencer’s pants down. His boxers were next. His socks followed and then he was naked. One solid push and he let himself fall backwards onto the bed. He bounced and settled, pushing himself up the bed some.
Spencer propped himself up on elbows so that he could watch Hotch strip. He could tell that Hotch had been running more. His leg muscles were more defined. Hotch’s eyes never left his body as he stripped. Spencer wanted to reach out and touch himself at the small show he was getting. He was already leaking and ached so much. Shifting, he freed an arm to snake down. he looked at Hotch and saw that he was looking. Just as his hand hit hair, Hotch’s voice rang out.
“Hands on the headboard, Reid.”
Spencer openly glared at Hotch but did as he asked. The unrepentant grin on Hotch’s face told Spencer he saw the glare.
“So pretty.” Hotch’s words were soft but Spencer heard them. His eyes widened in surprise. Morgan called him ‘Pretty Boy’ and he knew it wasn’t meant to be mean but hearing the word from Hotch’s mouth set him on edge. Hotch knee walked up the bed and Spencer dropped his legs automatically. Hotch groaned. “I chose a wonderful color. The blue is so striking and when you blush it accents it.”
If Spencer could have rebutted it, he would have. He wondered if that was why Hotch said it now. It was just Hotch’s arousal talking. He wasn’t pretty. Spencer looked away from Hotch, settling his gaze just up and to the left. The older man tilted his head up and placed a kissed at the base of his throat. Then he was moving down. The first lick on his nipple had him thrusting into Hotch’s mouth.
“So very demanding as well.” Teeth scraped over his skin and then a hand brushed his cock.
Spencer uttered a please but it was unrecognizable as a word.
“Oh, I like this.” Hotch laughed as Spencer glared again. “That glare does nothing. You look like a kitten. I’m more scared of a kitten, I think.”
Spencer felt a finger slip back between his cheeks and then it slid inside of him. He looked in shock at Hotch. He hadn’t seen or heard him go for the lube. Something dropped onto his chest. It was a little one time use tube of lube.
“I bought a few of them a while back and figured I could use them to surprise you.” Hotch licked at a nipple by his mouth then moved down Spencer’s chest. Licking and nipping as he moved. All Spencer could feel was the hot mouth and the metal bars his hands were wrapped around. The only sound was his own heaving breathing and muffled words. He closed his eyes so he could only focus on those two senses.
“Beautiful,” Hotch whispered before he took Spencer in his mouth. He couldn’t stop the thrust but Hotch did with hand on hip. One finger became two and before he could come, Hotch pulled off his cock. A third finger thrust inside of him. The burn was gone in seconds, all Spencer wanted was Hotch inside of him. He thrust down on the other man’s fingers.
Spencer pleaded to be fucked. Saying words he never would have said before. Begging for Hotch’s cock. The gag muffled every single one but Hotch got the meaning and pulled his fingers free. With eyes closed tight, Spencer prepared to be breached but nothing came.
Hotch reached up and untangled his fingers from metal, easily flipping them. Spencer grabbed the top of the headboard to settle himself and Hotch leered at him. “Ride me.”
The image those two words created in his mind nearly had Spencer coming. Hotch took the eyes closing for hesitance though and leaned up, cupping his face.
“Are you okay?” Spencer nodded. “How is the gag?” Spencer cocked an eyebrow at that. Hotch let out a chuckle. “Does it need to come off?” Spencer shook his head. He waved between the two of them and then tapped his head. “Imaging what we look like?” Spencer nodded harder that time and moaned. He leaned over to grab a condom from the drawer and when Hotch saw what he pulled out, he stopped him.
“Are you grabbing that because you want an easy clean up tonight?”
Spencer didn’t answer.
“Reid.” Hotch’s tone made Spencer look at him. “You’ve been tested and knowing you, you’ve gone back for more tests. You are clean.”
Spencer slipped off Hotch and leaned down to grab the other man’s phone from his pants pocket. He didn’t want to take the gag off but he needed to talk. He unlocked the phone using Hotch’s code which earned him a raised eyebrow. He shrugged as he typed out his question. When he was done he turned the phone for Hotch to read.
“‘Do you use condoms with Haley?’ No. She’s on birth control and …” Hotch’s eyes widened and he looked at Spencer with a deer in the headlights look. “I have a doctor’s appointment next week. Regular check up. I’ll get tested them. I’m glad you are thinking with your brain. Do you want to skip? I can jerk us off.”
The glare came back out. Hotch laughed and leaned back. Spencer opened the wrapper, slid the condom on Hotch’s thankfully still hard cock, then looked around for the lube. It had been on his chest before Hotch had flipped them. He didn’t see it on the bed. The older man held it out. Spencer squirted some onto his hand and transferred it to the condom.
Hotch helped steady him as he straddled him again then leaned back to guide his cock to his hole. Spencer felt the head breach him and then he slowly slid down, letting go with his hand as he did. He took his time, feeling his muscles stretch and finally just give in to the cock. Hotch hissed and gripped his hips, hard, holding him still as he fully impaled himself.
“Fuck! You are tight. Let me just feel you for a moment.” Hotch gripped his hips even harder and then after a moment, pushed him up a few inches and then pulled him down. It was erotic as hell to Spencer to be gagged but be on top of Hotch while they fucked.
Hotch helped him find a rhythm that felt good to the both of them and Spencer could feel the burn in his thighs. He pushed it away though, concentrating on fucking himself on Hotch for as long as he could.
Breathing picking up, Spencer knew that Hotch was getting close. He wanted to see his stoic superior come apart under him so he moved faster. When Hotch tried to take his cock in hand, he batted it away. Two more thrusts and Hotch was coming. His hands tightened almost too hard on his hips as the other man pulled Spencer as close as he could, burying himself as far in as he could possible go at their angle.
Spencer wanted to smile but his gag stopped him. Instead he gripped his own cock and started to try and get himself off. Hotch lay panting under him. He was close when his hand was pulled away and a hand squeezed the base of his cock. Spencer groaned.
“As much fun as coming all over me might sound. I have an idea I like a lot more.” Hotch sat up lifted Spencer off his now soft cock, removing and tying off the condom. Then he was toppled backward onto the bed. Then there was a hot mouth on his cock and Spencer near screamed.
Legs dropping open the rest of the way, Spencer grabbed at Hotch’s hair and held on. Hotch wasn’t holding back. One hand cupped and rolled his balls while the other played with his hole before a finger slid in him. It was too much with Hotch rubbing at his prostate. Spencer came, screaming Hotch’s name into his gag.
Hotch pulled him up into his lap, setting his head on his shoulder to work on untying the gag. “Are you okay?” Hotch asked. Spencer nodded. He didn’t have the brain for much more. “I need words.”
Spencer tried to gather moisture in his mouth but couldn’t. Hotch realized and leaned away before bringing back the bottle of water Spencer kept on his nightstand. He drank over half the bottle before offering it to Hotch. The older man took a few sips then kept it in hand and tilted it up for Spencer to finish off. Spencer eyed Hotch but drank.
“I’m fine, Hotch.” Spencer pulled back to look him in the eye.
“Put chapstick on tonight, especially at the corners of your mouth. And you are loud, even with the gag.”
“Well it felt like you were trying to suck my brain out through my cock.” Spencer closed his mouth at his words. He hadn’t meant to say that. Thankfully, Hotch just laughed. Spencer let his snark out with Morgan and sometimes JJ but no one else. He wasn’t sure how Hotch would take it.
“Have you always had a mouth like that?”
“Yes.” Spencer nodded.
“Hmm. So is the gag a yes, no, or still an unsure?”
“Yes. You seem to like me not talking. I liked it as well. You didn’t play as much as you seemed to want.”
“The sight of you on the bed with the gag was a little too much. I knew if I played too long, I’d come and I didn’t want that.”
“I’m going over to see Haley as soon as she will see me. She’s never said a thing about this being a problem but I will offer to stop seeing you if she wants.”
“Of course, I understand.” Spencer didn’t tell him that he wasn’t the issue but his devotion to the job and the team as a whole was. Hotch knew that. He hadn’t even lasted a full case out of the unit. If he had left, Haley may have liked having him home but he would have become a vastly different man. “Will she keep Jack from you?”
“I don’t know. I want to say no but…I never thought she’d do this. Leaving me or having an affair.” Hotch squeezed him and pushed at him until he settled on the bed. The older man stood and moved to the bathroom. Spencer stayed where he was. He’d learn enough about Hotch to know this was a time where he wanted to care for Spencer a little. Clean him up and make sure he was fine. He flopped onto his back and picked up the fabric. He looked at it. It was a scarf. Unknotting it, Spencer listened to Hotch clean himself up. He didn’t know what to do for him, as a sex partner or a coworker. He decided to play it all by ear. And be a distraction if needed.