I Am Who I Always Was

Title: I Am Who I Always Was
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Year: Season 5
Tags: FtM Character, Trans Character,
Ratings: NC-17
Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid,
Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Jack Hotchner,
Spoilers: Up Through Season 5
Summary: Spencer finds out that Aaron is a lot more than he seems and finds the one person in the world who just might be perfect for him, no matter what Spencer has between his legs.
Words: 18,000
Notes: Reid’s Costume
Warnings: Past Bullying, Canon Level Violence,
Beta: rivermoon1970

Spencer laughed as he raised up his glass of wine in a toast listening to the happy couple that had just got engaged. He heard a trilling tone that told him that Hotch had texted him. That was strange because he was supposed to be trick or treating with Jack and they had been promised the weekend off. He pulled his phone from his pocket and opened the text.

Jack wants to trick or treat in your area. Do you want to show us around?

Spencer just stared at the phone in more than a little shock. He’d met up with Hotch and Jack at the costume shop when he’d been buying his Spider-man costume and had talked about how there were a lot of cool houses in the blocks around his place and how he usually walked them even though he didn’t have a kid that he took around.

I can meet you outfront of my building in ten minutes. The responding text came back that Hotch would be there, with Jack in tow. Spencer looked down at his costume. It wasn’t one that he would have worn to anything that the team went to but he’d made plans before the case and it was the only costume he had on hand. Standing, he laid down a twenty on the counter for his glass of wine and a tip before grabbing his coat and slipping it on. He buttoned it up and it covered his bared stomach. Hopefully Hotch would take his costume as it was and not look into it too much. He hadn’t been in the mood to go the party that he’d planned on going to. If push came to shove, he could change into something normal if Hotch didn’t like his costume.

Hotch was indeed waiting for him outside of his apartment complex but instead of Spider-man beside him it was a mini Hotch. Spencer felt his face break into a smile at the cuteness that the pair made. Hotch had on his rarely worn sunglasses and he looked every single bit the G-Man that he was dressed to be. Spencer was thankful that he was wearing black because outside of a work situation, it was hard not to respond to Hotch in a sexual manner and if he was wearing any other color it would possibly be noticed.

“Reid, that is a very interesting costume. Anime?” Hotch was smiling.

“Careful, your cool exterior is cracking there, G-Man. But yes Anime. Not a big one over here but I had plans to go to a party where cats were the theme. I saw the show and liked it. So I made the costume.”

Hotch frowned and looked at Jack. “You didn’t have to cancel your plans.” It wasn’t hard to realize that Hotch thought he had left the party to entertain them. Even if he had been at the party, he probably would have left. There wasn’t a lot he wouldn’t do if it made Jack happy, with the year he’d had.

“I canceled them on the jet on the way home yesterday. I wasn’t in the mood for a party. I still wanted to wear my costume so I slipped out to a local place. This.” Spencer stepped up to Jack and crouched to fix his tie. Jack smiled and reached up to touch the cat ears on his head. “This is much better. And after we can stop at a restaurant a block over and get a snack.”

“Can we dad?” Jack twisted to look up at his father.

“Sounds good.”

“Jack, do you mind if we go up to my apartment for a moment? I need to grab something and I would like your father’s opinion on something.”

“Sure.” Jack smiled and moved towards the door. Spencer followed but looked at Hotch as he passed. The older man had a look of confusion on face. “Can I use your bathroom, Spencer?”

“Sure.” Spencer dug his keys out of his pants pocket and let them into the apartment when they reached his floor. Jack tottered off to the back, it wasn’t the first time that he had been inside the apartment. Spencer watched him on occasion when Jessica wanted a night if Hotch had to work late for any reason. He’d not stayed the night yet.


“I can change if my costume isn’t something that you want around Jack,” Spencer said as he started to unbutton his coat. He slipped it off for the full effect. His very tight sleeveless half shirt showed off his belly and his arms before his upper arm length pseudo gloves covered the rest. His pants were tight but there was no issue of his arousal being visible. He was shocked though by the look of lust in Hotch’s eyes. He thought that he’d been reading into the friendship that Hotch had been forming with him since the death of Haley a little too much. But that look right there told him that he wasn’t. Hotch stepped up to him and Spencer watched his fingers trace the edge of the coat. He knew that he didn’t look anything what anyone on the team expected him to. He’d taken up running following being stripped on the football field and tied to the goalposts. He had the body to pull off the costume. He just didn’t feel the need to show it off to people.

“Are you in uncomfortable being around him in it?” Hotch’s eyes moved down from his shirt to his pants. While he’d gone with cloth for his clothes, he knew that little was left to the imagination.

“No.” Spencer tried to read Hotch’s face but he couldn’t, past the look of lust. It was a bad idea to go with them. But he wanted to.

“Then it’s fine. You aren’t showing anything that is bad for him to see.” Hotch stepped closer to him and he stepped backed. A wicked look popped onto Hotch’s face and Spencer took another step back. “Say no and I stop.”

Hotch’s lips crashed into his and he was pushed back into the wall. The older man’s hands went right for his stomach, tracing the flat skin and then down, following the V his muscles made. He moaned into the kiss but didn’t open his lips, even when Hotch traced them with his tongue. He needed to talk to him. He pushed back at Hotch’s chest, realizing belatedly that he had grabbed handfuls of the older man’s suit jacket.

“We need to talk, Hotch. Before this goes any farther.”

“Re…Spencer, there is little you can say. I’ve thought long and hard on this.”

“I know.” Spencer cupped the side of his face. He was certain that there was little that the man did that would be considered spur of the moment. “I know you have but there are facts that you don’t have that you need. Gideon made sure that my file was locked. I’m not even sure that Strauss knows.”

“What?” Hotch didn’t step away.

Spencer swallowed. This was make or break time. He looked into Hotch’s eyes, seeing fondness and caring and now just a little bit of worry. He’d thought long and hard about telling the team but he had decided not to. He wanted to look away when he told Hotch, but he couldn’t. This wasn’t something he normally told on the first date much less before the first date but this was different. Hotch was different.

“I wasn’t born…” Spencer swallowed again. He straightened himself up to his full height. He wasn’t ashamed. He was who he was and no one had ever been able to make him feel ashamed about what he was and he wasn’t going to start now. He’d take whatever licks that Hotch gave him if he was upset. He knew the man wouldn’t physically hurt him, even if Jack wasn’t in the apartment. He wasn’t that kind of man. He had honor. “I wasn’t born Spencer Reid. My father buried that birth certificate so far away that I’m certain that not even Garcia could find it. When I was four he and mother accepted that I knew what I was. I knew my mind, I knew my feelings.”

“And what were you?” Hotch asked.

“Male. No matter what my body said, what genitals I had been born with.”

Hotch said nothing, just stared into his eyes. There was nothing on his face. If Spencer was a weaker man, he would have looked away but he didn’t because he wasn’t. Hotch was the first to look away and it was only because the sound of running feet came down the hall. The older man took a step back away from him but not too far. A respectable distance. Surely if he was uncomfortable he would have went farther right? Hotch wasn’t reacting like anyone he’d ever told before.

“I’m ready!” Jack declared.

“Good. We don’t want everyone else getting all the good candy.” Hotch said.

Spencer looked at his atomic clock. “Actually, Trick or Treat doesn’t start for another five minutes and it only takes three, even with Jack, for us to walk to where the best houses are.”

Hotch turned and looked at him and it was the same fond look he got in the field when he started most sentences with actually. “So we won’t have to rush. Good.”

Spencer pushed himself off the wall and opened the door, bowing for Jack to walk out first. Jack giggled as he passed. He stayed bowed and was expecting something from Hotch but when the man passed by him, he sighed in relief. He walked out, pulling the door shut as he did before locking the deadbolt and the main lock. His alarm had started to act up earlier and he had a call into the company and they were slotting him in for the next day.


“At the current broken. I have a call in already and they are coming tomorrow to fix it. Don’t worry.” Spencer waved as if to tell him it was no big deal but Hotch just stared at him. He held that stare. Hotch nodded.

“Come on!” Jack called from the landing. Spencer laughed as he heard what sounded like the boy jumping up and down.

“Yes, Spencer. Come on. Quit holding us up!” Hotch exclaimed.

Spencer didn’t know what to think as he followed the older man down the stairs. Teasing wasn’t something that he’d ever seen Hotch do. Not that way.

“Dad?” Jack asked as he moved to the door leading out of the building.

“Yes, Jack?” Hotch pushed the door open and Jack stepped through followed by Spencer. He stayed close to the boy so that he didn’t wander too far.

“I’ve seen in movies when a girl and a guy goes on a date, the guy always holds open doors for the girl.” Jack turned to look at his father.

“Yes. And?” Hotch wasn’t impatient. He was a wonderful father who always answered all of Jack’s questions with a smile on his face.

“Well, you do the same for Spencer,” Jack pointed out.

“I open the door for you and where I was raised, one always holds it open for those behind them. You notice it more with Spencer because we spend a lot of time with him, but I do it all the time for people at the grocery store. Sometimes Spencer gets to the door before me and he holds it for me as well.”

“So you and Spencer aren’t dating?” Jack asked.

Spencer stopped walking and Hotch ran into the back of him. The older man steadied himself by grabbing Spencer’s hips. But he didn’t let go. Jack turned around again, his eyes looking up and down before settling on Spencer’s and his father’s hands.

“That’s something for Spencer and I to discuss. Not you, Spencer, and I,” Hotch chastised. Jack pouted but nodded. The boy turned and started forward again. Hotch hadn’t let go of Spencer’s hips. He did squeeze then pulled Spencer back a half step. “Trying to figure out why you would tell me. The only reason I can think of is that you opted not to get all or part of the surgery that would make you look male. Nod if I am right.”

Spencer swallowed and then nodded. He felt warm lips press on his neck before Hotch stepped away from him. He wasn’t sure what to expect but for Hotch to wrap an arm around his waist and pull him forward wasn’t it. His head was spinning when they caught up to Jack just as they turned onto the first street.

“This position is just going to tell him we are dating.”

“You wouldn’t have told me for anything less, Spencer. You would have said no before I kissed you. You would have turned me do down gently. Just like you did with Austin. I heard you on the phone with her that night. I was so jealous but I wasn’t anywhere near ready for anything with anybody, much less a coworker. Then Foyet and getting settled in with Jack. I never expected you to wait.”

“I didn’t so much wait as I hadn’t found anyone I wanted more.” Spencer leaned his head over onto Hotch’s shoulder. The older man pulled him close. “I had a total hysterectomy. I have no female reproductive organs but I chose not to close up my vagina. That was a personal choice to not alter my body too much. I don’t like to pack as many call it. I never padded as a teen either. I am male, even without a fully functional cock.”

“What about the use of a strap on? Would you consider it if I wanted you to use it on me?” Hotch’s voice was low but there was a husky tone to it.

“I like being on the receiving end but if you wanted, yes I would.”

Jack started down the walkway to the first house, looking back as he got halfway. The smile on his face told Spencer he was happy with how they were.

“When did you start HRT?”

“Mom and dad both accepted it. Although I think they did because mom was sure she was having a boy. As soon as puberty started, I started on HRT. Mom’s college connections got me into a study on allowing children to do the hormonal transition followed by surgery when I turned eighteen. Not to say I didn’t go through rigorous psychological testing. Many Trans people have to go through puberty as the sex they don’t feel and live for a long time as their actual sex before they are allowed to get the surgeries. This is a pilot program to see if there are any of us who want to revert. I don’t know how many people there are world wide who are part of it. I know that my parents fought long and hard for me to be in it. Even after dad left he made sure that I was kept part of the program.”

“So he supported you and your mother? You’ve never talked much about it and I understand if you choose not to answer.”

“He was a financial support and that was it.” Spencer stopped talking as Jack came back up to them. He held out his bag for them to look inside. Spencer wasn’t shocked when he saw full sized bars down inside. He waved at the woman who was on the porch dressed as Wonder Woman. She waved back.

“You left your coat at your place,” Hotch said. His hand trailed up from his waist to touched his bare upper arms. “What are you going to do when the sun does down?”

“I’ll be fine.”


“So where are these cool houses?” Jack asked.

“Down a block. You’ll start to hear the kids screaming as we get closer.”

“Screaming?” Hotch asked.

“One of the first is a haunted house. It’s not bad. Just scary enough to actually give the kids a fright but not terrorize them. The couple who owns it have been doing it for as long as I’ve lived here. Jack will love it.”

“Cool!” Jack strained his neck to try and see farther down the block. Spencer laughed. He smiled and ducked his head a little, letting Hotch lead them down the block. His forehead rested on the older man’s neck and all he could see was their feet and the sidewalk. This was what he had missed from not having someone. His boyfriend that he’d had after he’d turned eighteen hadn’t been able to cope with him. Hotch would always catch him when he fell. Always be there when he needed him, just like he would be for him.

“I think that this is exactly what he needs this year,” Hotch said, his voice a murmur in Spencer’s ear.

“I think he’s happy because you are happy.” Spencer smiled as Jack ran down the walkway to the next house. There were no other kids so he didn’t call out for him to slow down. As the thought crossed his mind, he stumbled a little. Only Hotch’s arm around himself stopped him from falling on his face. He’d become close to Jack in the days following Haley’s death. The boy had been strong for his father but they all watched him closely. While Hotch had been in the meeting with Strauss about what happened, the team had tried to keep Jack entertained and strangely it had been Spencer he’d latched onto. JJ had ended up going to Spencer’s desk for his supplies for magic tricks and he’d entertained the boy the near entire time. If Hotch had come into the room just moments earlier, he’d have found film canister rockets going off.


“We have spent a lot of time together lately haven’t we?”

“Yes. Are you now just realizing that you’ve been almost parenting Jack over the past two months?” Hotch’s voice sounded full of humor. “You were getting ready to yell at him to walk weren’t you?”


“I didn’t want to call attention to any of it because I’ve seen you around other kids where you feel responsible for them. You’ve lost that with Jack.”

“We have been dating and I didn’t realize it didn’t I?”

“Yes.” Hotch kissed his forehead and Spencer could feel him shaking with laughter. He hit him with the back of his hand on his chest. That only caused him to shake more. He pulled away from him to look at his face. There was happiness on his face. Something that Spencer hadn’t seen since around the birth of Jack, before he and Haley had started to really break apart. He’d put that there. He, Spencer Reid, put that look on Aaron Hotchner’s face. He couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss him. Hotch let go of him and cupped his face, not letting him step away. Spencer surrendered to the kiss with happiness in his heart.

They didn’t pull apart until a wolf whistle sounded from down the block. Spencer knew exactly who had done that. He only pulled back enough to bury his face in Hotch’s shoulder. Not wanting to face what was coming.

“Who is that?”

“The neighborhood gossip. He is very much a gossip.” Spencer groaned but pulled back when he heard Jack’s feet coming close again.

“Spencer, your face is all red. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Jack. Have you ever done something embarrassing in front of your friends?” He waited for the boy to nod before he went on. “Well, one of my friends is down the block and he is the one that whistled.”

“And kissing is embarrassing?”

“More like getting caught kissing is when you know that your friends are going to try and embarrass you more for it,” Hotch said to his son. Jack just looked at him confused. “You’ll understand the first time you get caught kissing someone you like by friends.”

“Okay. Can we go to Spencer’s friends house next?”

“There are three other houses in between.” Spencer pointed out to the boy. He looked down and Spencer could see him counting the houses.


“If you want to buddy, we can.” Hotch leaned in and kissed Spencer’s cheek before turning them to start moving down the block once more, wrapping an arm around his waist again. Spencer could see the group on Rafe’s porch and was shocked that more than a wolf whistle hadn’t been called out. “Are they going to keep it clean?”

“With Jack around, yes.” Spencer watched as Jack started down the block but stayed close as they crossed the street to the other block. Spencer wasn’t shocked that his friends were all dressed like characters from the Wizard of Oz, including Rafe as Glinda. Rafe’s boyfriend Alan was dressed as Dorothy and then their three friends Mary, Helena, and Babs were dressed as the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow. Genderbent Wizard of Oz was going to have Jack asking questions that night if not right there in front of them.

“Come here, you little cute G-Man. My, my you are a darling!” Rafe called out as Jack stopped at the walkway, waiting for his father and Spencer. Jack looked back but his eyes weren’t on his father but on Spencer. Spencer nodded and he took off down the walkway. “My aren’t you the apple that didn’t fall very far from your father’s tree.”

“I think that Toto stole his tongue,” Alan called out as Rafe laughed when Jack didn’t answer him. As if being called, a large dog stepped around the wall circling the porch. Jack stopped on the bottom step and just looked at him. Spencer started to move a little faster.

“Jack, this is Brutus.” Spencer dropped to a crouch right behind the boy and held out his hand. Brutus wuffed and came down the stairs. He felt Hotch stop behind him. Brutus came down to where he had his front legs on the bottom step and stretched his head out to where he could smell Spencer’s hand. Jack held his hand out for the dog to smell.

“What kind of dog is he?”

“American Bulldog. The bully breed. He’s actually on the higher end of size. Do you want to know something really cool about him?” Spencer wrapped an arm around Jack’s waist, pulling him a step back into his body. Brutus was a big baby but he did scare kids with his size.


“Do you know what his favorite thing in the world is? It’s to lick little kids’ faces. He likes to do that, especially after they eat lunch. He also likes to lay in the sun on a nice day and he adores it when his belly is rubbed while he does that.”

“What Spencer is trying to say Jack is that Brutus is a big baby,” Alan said as he came down the stairs. Brutus watched him from the corner of his eye and when he called for him, Brutus went to him. As soon as Alan started to pet him, Brutus laid down on his side so that his belly could be got to. Jack pushed out of Spencer’s hold and moved over to him. Jack laughed as Alan told him stories of what the neighborhood kids liked to do with him. Including dressing him up in a pink tutu and walking him.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you willingly walk up to a dog, Reid.”

“It took us getting Brutus just a month after meeting him and forcing him to interact with him. Brutus loves him though, even if he complains about his legs going to sleep when he sleeps on them,” Rafe said. The man came down off the porch and held his hand out to Hotch. “Rafe McDonald.”

“Aaron Hotchner. This is my son, Jack.”

“I’m Rafe’s partner, Alan Stafford. So you are Hotch?” Alan smiled at Spencer as he asked. Spencer just nodded his head. Jack stood up from where he was petting Brutus and moved back to the steps. The dog righted himself and followed behind him. Spencer laughed.

“He’s the worst mother hen in the world,” Spencer said trying to distract Alan but it didn’t work. Hotch moved over to him and they shook hands before starting to talk. Spencer followed Jack up the stairs and allowed the women to give him hugs and kisses on his cheek. He didn’t know them well as they were new to the area but Rafe and Alan talked about them a lot. He kept an eye on Jack even though he didn’t need to worry as Brutus wasn’t far from him at all times. There were little scenes decorated all over the porch that Rafe had painted for this year’s Halloween. He would make prints of them later and sell them online. The actual paintings though would be sold at a local establishment that he sold all of his work at.

“So, that’s your Hotch? The man who is watching you as much as he is watching his son? All tall, dark, and handsome him?” Rafe asked as he stepped into Spencer’s side.

“Yes, that’s Hotch.”

“And when did this happen?”

“Under an hour ago.”

“Uh huh, try and act like you don’t know down to the minutes and seconds. He looks like he’s very happy.”

“We haven’t talked much. Just what we can get in between houses without Jack hearing.”

“And what have you talked about?” Rafe’s eyes tracked down to Spencer’s groin. Spencer blushed. Rafe was gay but Alan was bisexual. They both were in love but on occasion when they both were up for it they invited another male into bed with them. Spencer had needed something to take his mind off of things after his bout with Anthrax and he’d been more than willing. They’d known long before that he was trans but even his own body had been a little too much female in the lower area for Rafe. Rafe had ended up fucking him on hands and knees while Alan had ate him out from below. He’d only ever played with himself before that. Afraid of dysphoria and getting turned off in the middle. A reach around was different while getting fucked, even if only a couple had ever done that.

“He knows that. As of just before trick or treat. Wasn’t much time to ease him into it when he slams me into a wall to kiss my breath out of me.”

“And he’s okay?” Rafe looked worried. Spencer was glad about that. That his friends cared enough to be worried.

“I’ll know the second we get naked but Hotch is a good guy who knows his own mind. I don’t think he’d start this without thinking it through.”

“You’ve had stars in your eyes every time you’ve talked about him for years. Just keep me in the loop?” Rafe kissed his cheek and was gone before he could answer. More trick or treaters were coming up the stairs. Jack was back beside Hotch out in front of the house. The man was staring at him but there was no jealousy in his eyes, just happiness. Hotch held his arm up so that Spencer could tuck himself into his side as he started down the steps. As he inhaled the smell of Hotch’s cologne, he thought that maybe he should think of him as Aaron.


Dinner went just about how Spencer expected it to. Jack fell asleep halfway through, the energy of the night bleeding off after he sat down for an extended period of time. He was curled up on the booth seat with his head on his father’s thigh. His suit jacket draped over him and his face buried against Aaron’s dress shirt. The diner was mostly empty and in their area, they were the only ones. Their waitress hadn’t been back to the table since taking their empty plates and refilling Spencer’s coffee and Aaron’s Dr. Pepper.

“Gideon must have buried it,” Aaron said as he took a sip of his pop. “I’ve never heard a single thing that would even tell me that you weren’t born male. And we all know that the people we work with love gossip. How did you…?” Aaron trailed off on his question and his face looked pained. Spencer cocked his head to the side and looked at him. It wasn’t a pain of him worrying about hurting Spencer. It was a pain that said what he was thinking of made him hurt. He’d seen that pain once. On Aaron’s face when he’d been there at the door separating them during the Anthrax incident.

“How did I keep it secret when I was stripped naked to clean the Anthrax off of me? The two who were in the room with me didn’t care. I am not even sure that they realized it really. Dr. Kimura only needed to know in how my HRT would react with what the drugs she was putting in me. My file at the hospital during that had me down as male. Dr. Kimura saw me as male. The nurse who put in my catheter said that I was very lucky as female catheters hurt less than male.”

Aaron looked like he didn’t know if he was allowed to laugh or not so Spencer let out a laugh himself. Aaron smiled before he laughed as well.

“I am not saying that I don’t have moments of dysphoria but they are rare. I know what I am and I like my body the way that it is.”

“I remember a case about six months after you joined, just before Boston. Morgan swore he’d seen you get kicked in the crotch by that woman before she ran. You said that Morgan had seen wrong and it had been caught on your thigh, that it took the brunt of the force but it wasn’t was it?”

“No. It hurt but…” Spencer looked down at his coffee. Tracing the rim with his finger. He knew it was one of his tells. The whole team knew it and they didn’t press. They gave him time to figure out what he needed to say. “I had a lot of problems with bullies in school. With skipping grades and moving to a different high school, it was easy to leave behind anyone who knew that I had been born with a female body. I was before puberty in high school. I looked like every other kid my age, sex undefined unless you saw what was between my legs. Or not as the case may be. Morgan knows some of this but not the worst part.”

“You don’t have to tell me Spencer.”

“No.” Spencer looked up at him and smiled. “I want to tell you. We all have the cases that affect each of us more. Bullying as you found out is at the top of my list. There is a reason.”

“Morgan talked to me after West Bune. He didn’t break any confidences just asked me to be patient with you.” Aaron reached over and pulled Spencer’s hand away from his mug of coffee. He laid the hand on the tabletop and then started to trace the bones and muscles with his fingers. It was soft and grounding.

“Most of the three years I spent in high school in Vegas was bad from a bullying point. I had no set friends when I got there so I was at the bottom of the pile. Even the other geeks and nerds were hesitant to make friends with me until it was figured out how much of a target I was. I didn’t care. I knew how to dodge them, where I could hide and whatnot. My senior year though I was eleven turning twelve when the year started. No one knew that I was female under my clothes and since the other kids were so much older than me and they were afraid of lawsuits and such, I was exempt from gym class. They were worried about sticking me in with kids that were on average seven years older and what it could do mentally to me. I wasn’t so lucky in college but it was a lot more controlled and the physical education classes that I had to take were a lot better. I was treated as a cute little brother to the girls and the boys all left me alone as to not make the girls upset at them.”

“Morgan said that you’d had it hard in high school.”

“Well, I had it okay until the football team used a girl that I found cute as a distractionary method to get me on the football field after school. I was stupid and I just…I don’t know what made me think that it was a good idea.”

“Emotions are a weakness, even to geniuses. You wanted something to be normal and a girl liking you is normal. Everyone falls for that one.” Aaron didn’t stop his movements with his fingers but he did shift around in his seat, not dislodging Jack at all but doing something. Spencer didn’t realize what it was until he felt a foot tangle with his own. The touches were innocent but it helped him. It helped him settle down.

“They stripped me naked and tied me to the goalpost. What had started out as something to mock my pre puberty penis ended up something of disgust as they found I didn’t have a penis at all but a vagina.” Spencer shuddered as the thoughts of that night and how wrong it all was came flashing back over his mind. Aaron’s hand wrapped around his wrist, grounding him even more. “If I had been their age, I’m fairly certain that the boys would have raped me. Pack mentality, we know reigns. But I was recently twelve. Thankfully, they had enough morals not to rape me. All of them were seventeen and up and I think that the thought of jail time for not only rape but also rape of a minor is what stopped them.”

“What did they do?”

“They kicked me between the legs. Everyone took a shot at it, even the girls. I was out of school for a week after it. I went to my family doctor and they didn’t believe the story I told but they knew that it wasn’t mom that had done it so the doctor treated me. Contacted the school and made sure that they knew that I was sick and wouldn’t be there. Mom didn’t even realize that I got home late that night. A nurse from my doctor’s office stopped by on her way into work and then when she got out daily. She’s also the one who helped me find someone to help with mom when I went to Cal-Tech.”

“Did Cal-Tech know what you had gone through?”

“The Dean of Admissions was well aware that biologically I was female. But given that I was underage, I was housed in a single room anyway. I was watched but no one ever knew that wasn’t directly in my care at the school.”

“And Gideon knew.”

“Yes. I don’t know how but he did know. I don’t tell people for obvious reasons.”

“I’m glad you told me instead of just telling me no.” Aaron looked down at Jack, brushing his free hand over the boy’s head. “You gave me time to mull it over and accept you. I like you for who you are. Who you show me you are on a daily basis. Just because your body parts are different doesn’t matter to me.”

“I…” Spencer felt his face start to heat up and he tried to pull his hand away but Aaron’s was like a band around his wrist. Gentle but forceful in not letting him go.

“If I let go right now, you’ll build up a wall. I’ve seen you do it. I want who you’ve been all night with me and Jack. I want Spencer Reid and I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep Spencer with me.” Aaron locked eyes with him and made sure Spencer couldn’t look away. He knew what he wanted and it seemed that Aaron wanted it as well. He shifted his legs, trying to lessen the heat that was now building there. He wanted a lot of things but he wasn’t sure that he was ready for all of them. With Aaron though, he felt that he could be. The foot that was tangled with his was still there but Aaron’s other brushed up the inside of his calf. He expected it to stop but it didn’t. It kept going up, brushing his knee, then the inside of his thigh. It didn’t stop there either.

Spencer was certain that his eyes were wide as saucers because they felt like it when Aaron’s sock covered foot finally stopped moving. He hadn’t heard him removing his shoe so he wasn’t exactly sure when that had happened. It took only seconds for him to figure out exactly what Aaron was aiming to do.

A quick glance around the diner told him that there was only the workers and a few customers on the far side. They were alone in their area. When toes started to try and press into him in all the right ways, he reached down and grabbed them. He was downright shocked at what the older man was doing. He wasn’t sure what the man’s goal had been but he was quite happy with no public displays of affection in that way.

“Why don’t I go pay?” Aaron asked with an unrepentant smile on his face.

“Why don’t I pay and you get Jack ready?” Spencer countered, thankful that the foot under the table disappeared from his hand with a gentle jerk. “And that’ll give you time to get your shoe back on.” Spencer drained his cup of coffee and grabbed the bill before Aaron could grab it. He stood up and tried to pass by Aaron’s side before the man could react. His eyes were on the register so he didn’t realize that the other man was moving until he was pulled back into a solid chest by a hand on his waist. His ass was pulled flush with Aaron’s groin and he could feel exactly how hard the man was. How hard he was for him.

Breath tickled the side of his neck before he felt lips on the shell of his ear. “We can say our goodbyes outside and take up the discussion of what exactly the boundaries are at a later time. Or I can follow you up to your apartment. Jack will sleep just fine on your couch and I have clothes for him in the car, just in case the suit had got to bothering him. Or we can stop at yours and get clothes for you and then go back to mine. I want this. I want you. So very badly.”

“Aaron,” Spencer gasped.

“While you are paying think on what you want.” A kiss was placed on the skin just behind his ear and he couldn’t hold in the shiver. There was no way that Aaron missed it but he said nothing, just released his waist and let him go. He moved to the register and paid quickly. When he turned to check on Aaron he found the man standing beside the booth, still tying his shoe. Jack was sitting up in the booth rubbing at his eyes. His suit jacket was on him but Aaron’s was still draped over the back of the booth seat. Spencer wasn’t sure why Aaron wasn’t fully ready to go. He stepped back towards them.

The second that Jack spotted him his face lit up in a huge smile and the boy held his hands out. Spencer stepped up to pick him up but was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned his head to look at Aaron in time to see something moving towards him. Aaron laid his suit jacket on Spencer’s shoulders.

“It’s gotten colder outside. Indulge me, please.”

“Okay,” Spencer said as he slipped his arms down the sleeves of the jacket and then moved to pick up Jack. The boy settled in his arms easy, legs wrapped around his waist and head on his shoulder. He smiled and sought out Aaron’s eyes. Aaron was looking at him, gaze full of heat but it wasn’t just lust. The older man liked the look of him holding, caring for his son. That alpha inside of him liked the thought of him caring for his child and probably not a small part liked him in his clothes.

“Good.” Aaron wrapped an arm loosely around his waist and pulled him along. He easily went along. The door was held open for him and when he passed by the man it wasn’t hard to just brush up against his body. The low rumble from Aaron told Spencer that he knew exactly what he was doing. Once fully outside, Spencer paused to wait for Aaron who was holding the door open for a young couple who were dressed in costumes. He started moving when he felt what was becoming a familiar hand wrap around his hip. “So, what are we doing with the rest of our night?”

“Sleep,” Jack uttered.

Spencer only just held in his laugh, not wanting to wake the boy up the rest of the way, which would happen if he started to shake in laughter.

“You can sleep to your hearts content,” Spencer whispered in the boy’s ear. Jack smiled and nuzzled his head closer to Spencer’s neck. The door to his building was in sight and he turned to look up at Aaron. He missed sex. He wanted it with him. “And in the morning, I can make my special pancakes.”

“Yay,” Jack said his voice happy but sleepy.

“What makes them so special?” Aaron asked. The look in his eyes though told Spencer that he understood him.

“That’s a secret.” Spencer might tell him, one day. They made their up way up to Spencer’s front door. “My keys are in my pocket.”

Instead of turning to be able to quickly reach in and grab the keys, Aaron stepped behind him and plastered himself along Spencer’s back. With his arms full of Jack he couldn’t do a thing to divert Aaron’s hands where they needed to be. Aaron had watched him slip his keys in his front right pants pocket but instead of going for that pocket, he checked both of his back pockets, seemingly memorizing every inch of his ass before he moved to the front. When his hand bypassed the pocket with the keys, Spencer knew that the man was playing. The palm of his left hand slipped just above his sex before it moved down. He was so focused on that hand that he didn’t notice that his keys were free of his pocket until the door was opening.

“That tells me everything that I need to know.”

“About?” Spencer asked, happy that his voice didn’t crack.

“How to distract you.” Aaron’s voice was right at his ear, low and rumbly. If he hadn’t already been wet, after that he would have been. “Just lay him down on the couch.”

“Shouldn’t I at least take his shoes off?” Spencer asked.

“I was going to do it but if you want, you can.” Aaron leaned over the back of the couch as Spencer laid Jack down. He moved to his feet and worked free the double knots that were tied on his dress shoes. He could feel Hotch’s eyes on him as he did it. Looking at the boy, Spencer knew that he’d get uncomfortable so he gently sat him up and moved behind him while he worked his hands out of his jacket. Followed by his little dress shirt. He had an a-shirt on underneath so Spencer didn’t worry about taking that off. He laid the two shirts onto coffee table and then hesitated on his pants. “Just his belt. He falls asleep in his pants all the time and if he get too uncomfortable, he’ll take them off.”

Spencer laid him back down and worked his belt out of his pants. He laid it with the rest of his clothes and as he turned to reach and grab the throw on the back of the couch, only it was already falling over the sleeping boy. Spencer looked up to see Aaron looking down at him. The look of want on his face had Spencer shivering. Jack murmured and rolled onto his side of the couch and it drew Spencer’s gaze down to him. The boys hair fell a little on his face and Spencer didn’t fight the urge to brush it back. Both him and Henry had slipped past the walls of his heart since their birth.

“It’s creepy to watch people sleep, even kids.” Aaron’s voice was right behind him and Spencer felt a hand on his upper arm, pulling him up. He followed it and was settled into Aaron’s arms. It felt good. Then Aaron’s jacket was being slipped of his body as well before it was tossed towards the chair in front of his chess table. “Let’s go to your room and talk.”

“Okay.” Spencer led the way back. Trying to remember exactly the state he had left it in while getting ready to head out. He only remembered throwing his work clothes on the bed. He tried to walk quicker but Aaron’s arm wrapped about his waist and kept him from doing that.

“I want to see what your room looks like when you don’t think anyone is coming over.” Aaron’s lips were right at his ear as they walked. “You’ve never really invited anyone of the team over and for the most part we figured it was from your childhood, hiding what was wrong with your mother. You just never got into the habit of having people over.”

“I know enough of what my friends have done in the past and know enough about things that peaking in medicine cabinets is normal. It’s hard to hide that I am on an HRT when you are seeing the evidence.”

“I could see Garcia looking in your bathroom. And possibly even Dave.”

Spencer opened the door to his bedroom and found that he had been right. He had only had his work clothes draped on his bed. The rest of the room was thankfully spotless. The door was shut behind them.

“Jack knocks on my door, even if it is only partially shut. He’s not had a nightmare in three weeks. We should be fine. As long as you are not a screamer.”

“No. Generally I’m very quiet. Someone once…” Spencer trailed off and pulled away from Aaron. The man didn’t want to hear about past lovers. He moved to the bed to clear off his clothes, throwing his pants into the hamper and tossing his shirt over the pile to be dry cleaned that was on the back of the chair in the corner. He felt more than heard Aaron come up behind him.

“You’ve had partners in the past. Most of my sexual experience is with my now dead ex-wife. That’s a mood killer all on it’s own. Don’t hide from me. I want you for who you are and they helped shape you into who you are.” Aaron’s hands weren’t hesitant when they touched him. Spencer was happy because he was afraid of what he do if Aaron showed any hesitance.

“After my hysterectomy was fully healed, I dated a guy. He thought he could handle me not having a cock but in the end he couldn’t. He used to tell me that the only reason he knew that I’d orgasmed was how my back curled.”

“I guess then that I’ll have to do better than him.” Aaron’s hands slid down from the back of his shoulders where they had been just resting, all the way down to his hips, pulling him close. He couldn’t feel a hardness pressing into him but he wasn’t surprised by that. “Can I try and make you scream, Spencer?”

“Yes,” Spencer answered.

“What’s off limits? What do you not want me to touch? Or do?” Aaron slid down his back to where he could feel breath hosting through the material of his shirt and then there were lips on the small of his back. He couldn’t help the moan that slipped from his lips.

Spencer knew what he wanted. In all the ways that he felt male he hadn’t wanted to enlarge his clit more than it already was or close up his vagina. To stop vaginal atrophy he used topical estrogen creams since he took testosterone. He had just never got to know someone well enough to allow them vaginal sex with him. “I call my vagina what it is. I’ve never had a partner who felt comfortable calling anything other than my front. At my last gynecological checkup, my doctor was shocked that I still had a hymen. When I had my reproductive organs removed, I had it done through my abdomen. The scar is barely noticeable just at my, what most would call, bikini line. I will let you know if something feels wrong or I start to get dysphoric. I’ve not had a freak out during sex since I was nineteen. Doesn’t mean I won’t.”

“So what do you want?” Aaron tugged down on the pants, giving him just a little more skin to kiss.

“I want sex.”

“Spencer,” Aaron said, his tone telling Spencer that he wanted words and not dodges. His hands moved from Spencer’s hips to the insides of his thighs, just as he nipped on the top edge of his hip.

“I’ve always done sex on hands and knees or lying on my tummy. Afraid that my partner would get turned off. As evidenced by my hymen, I’ve never had penetrative vaginal sex. I want to.” Spencer turned and looked down at Aaron. He carded his hands through his hair, gripping enough tilt the other man’s face up to look at him. “I want to. With you.”

“We don’t have to tonight.” Aaron stood up, leaning his face in close. “We don’t even have to get naked. We can get each other off with clothes on like teenagers. Or we can start there and go until you need me to stop. This isn’t a one time thing, Spencer. We have time.”

“Yet you can’t stop touching me.”

Aaron laughed. “I’ve denied myself for too long but that doesn’t mean that I won’t stop if you say stop. I want to ask a few questions. And I’d prefer honest answers. Not what you think I want to hear but what you actually want or have done. If you don’t want to answer at this moment, tell me. When you’ve had sex before, you’ve stimulated yourself to orgasm, haven’t you?”

“Yes.” Spencer couldn’t look him in the eye. Aaron was thankfully allowing it. He’d always laid the rules down and his partners followed but he wasn’t lying to Aaron. There wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t at least try with him.

“Then that’s the plan tonight. You are not going to touch yourself with the intention of arousal. You can touch me all you want. I’ll handcuff you to the bed to get you to stop.”

Spencer sucked in a breath. His mind went blank with want at Aaron’s words. He really liked that idea. He could see it, hands above his head, legs spread with Aaron between them. Unable to close them to even stimulate himself. At Aaron’s mercy for everything.

“Too much?” Aaron sounded worried.

“Too erotic. Thankfully today is Saturday.”

“Meaning what?”

“You can take your time trying to make me scream.”

“I like challenges.” Aaron wrapped his hands around Spencer’s sides, gripping tight but not enough to bruise. He was backed up until his calves hit the bed. “Cock or clit?”

“Either. Terms have never bothered me too much. Mom thinks it’s my scientific mind.”

“Condoms?” Aaron asked as he squatted then went to his knees. Spencer watched him untie his black combat boots. His sole focus was on his task, not stopping until both were untied. Spencer lifted his first leg and then the other. Aaron left his socks on. One was white with black cats and the other lime green with purple witch outlines.

It wasn’t until Aaron looked up at him that Spencer remembered that he’d been asked a question.

“My last test was clean and I can’t get pregnant.”

“Do you want to use them.”

“Not if you are clean.” Spencer reached out and cupped Aaron’s face, pulling him up into a kiss. He got lost in the feel of their tongues rubbing, his hands mapping out every single bit of cloth covered body that he could reach. Aaron’s thigh muscles were hard like rocks. He knew that the older man ran but he hadn’t realized he ran that much. Spencer moaned as he thought about what that meant for their sex life.

“I am,” Aaron murmured when he pulled back. The older man’s hands settled on his shoulders and pushed him into a seated position on the bed. The man then stepped back and his hands went to his shirt. “No touching yourself.”

“Then stay close so I can touch you.”

“Restraint.” Aaron started with his tie working it loose and throwing it onto the bed beside Spencer. He was very interested in what that meant when the suit jacket was removed and laid over the chair in the corner. Spencer’s eyes never left Aaron’s hands as they opened his belt and slide it out of his loops. It was thrown onto the bed on Spencer’s other side.

Aaron started on his pants button then his zipper. He wasn’t giving a strip tease in the normal way of thinking but it was more than just that given he wasn’t allowed to touch himself or Aaron. Setting his hands on the bed, he gripped the edge to stop himself from touching. He watched as Aaron shimmied a little and his pants fell to the ground. His phone and keys thudding as they hit.

Spencer wasn’t sure what to expect him to be wearing underneath but it wasn’t tight black boxer briefs. Hotch wore boxers on cases. He always did but seeing the black material right there just out of arm’s reach had Spencer swallowing to try and get any bit of moisture he could in his mouth. Aaron was half hard in his pants. That was something that hadn’t come up yet. Bending down, Aaron grabbed his pants but kept his backside from Spencer’s view. But he turned when he stepped to the chair and in that second, Spencer was moving.

When Aaron turned back around, Spencer was already on his knees, hand tugging down his underwear, tongue darting out to lick at the half hard cock. Aaron gasped as the lick turned in to Spencer taking the cock all the way in his mouth. He tried to pull the underwear down all the way but Aaron’s hands stopped him at mid thigh. He gripped Aaron’s thighs and drew him in closer. Taking his cock all the way in, Spencer deepthroated him. A hand settled on his hair, gripping it tight and Spencer knew he’d be pulled off if Aaron wanted. He pulled back to breathe but before he could swallow the other man down again, his head was held firm. Cock just out of reach.

“You are good at that but it’s not what I want right now.”

“But I want it.” Spencer pouted. Aaron dropped to his knees in front of him.

“I don’t want the things you normally do with others. I want to please you.”

“That does please me. I like sucking cock. And not just as a way to keep my genitals a secret. I love the feel of a hard cock in my mouth.”

“And you can wake me up with a blowjob if you wish. But for now, only my mouth on your genitals.” Aaron stood, helping Spencer up as well.

Spencer moved back to his bed sitting on the end with his legs spread. He leaned back, propping himself up on his elbows. He watched Aaron strip out of his dress and under shirt. The scars from Foyet were faded to a light pink but it looked like Aaron had made sure they were minimal. Spencer felt very over dressed as Aaron moved towards him. He was motioned up and his mouth claimed. A knee dipped the bed a little, pressing just slightly on Spencer’s sex. Just as he moved his hands to touch, his wrists were grabbed.

Spencer pulled out of the kiss. “You said I could touch.”

“You can. I was just going to place your hands where I wanted them.” Aaron pulled at his wrists, pushing them down until they were on his thighs, just below his underwear. Spencer curled his fingers until his short nails were just on the skin then pulled them down a little. Aaron pulled him back into the kiss. Spencer had never been a big fan of kissing before but what Aaron was doing had his toes curling. He tried to lean back on the bed but Aaron kept him up. “Take off your shirt.”

Spencer didn’t even try and make it sexy. The fabric was stretchy and he pulled it up and off, tossing it to the side of the room near his hamper.

“Scoot up,” Aaron said next, his eyes moving up and down Spencer’s chest. There was just a minor swell to his chest, from muscle from what little upper body workouts he did. He hadn’t needed any chest surgery as breasts had never started to form on him. He did as Aaron asked and scooted until his whole body was on the bed and he was laying on his back. His mouth watered at the sight of Aaron’s cock in his underwear, hard and very visible. Aaron watched him, eyeing his cock and smiled. He grabbed Spencer’s legs and scooted them up to where his knees were bent before he settled in between them. He ghosted his hands up the inside of Spencer’s calves then to his knees and his thighs. His hands were warm even to Spencer’s cloth clad skin.

“Aaron,” Spencer begged. He reached up and Aaron came down to meet him. He settled on his elbows above Spencer, just out of reach unless Spencer lifted his head up.

“I’ve got you.” Aaron kissed him again, keeping his mind on that and not what else he was doing. Until he felt a hand between his legs. Gasping, Spencer opened his eyes. Aaron stopped the kisses and his hand stilled, eyes locked on Spencer’s face. Even with pants and underwear on, it was hard to miss the feel of fingers and a hand settling on his crotch. The hand rubbed downward until Aaron’s entire hand was cupping his sex. He wanted to look down and see with his eyes what Aaron was doing but he didn’t want to look away from the eyes that were watching him. He knew that if the slightest bit of discomfort showed on his face, Aaron would stop and that was why he wanted this with him.

“Just like that,” Spencer said, finally closing his eyes to the pleasure that Aaron’s hand was bringing him. He wanted to feel skin on skin but was more than willing to stick to whatever plan Aaron had. He did start to rock up into his hand some, getting more pressure. When he felt movement from the elbow at his head, he expected more kisses on lips but instead head ducked and he felt a swipe of tongue on nipple before teeth grazed it as well. He reached up and buried a hand in Aaron’s hair keeping his head there. With his other hand he touched, raking nails and fingertips all over whatever bit of skin he could reach. He tried to settle down but it was too much. Aaron’s hand worked him over and he orgasmed with a gasp.

“Beautiful,” Aaron whispered.

Spencer opened his eyes and looked at him. Aaron’s eyes were locked on his and he could only smile. Aaron’s hand stopped moving between his legs and trailed up. As it cleared his shoulder, Aaron pushed himself to a kneeling position. Spencer’s body was still singing with orgasm but he tried to reach up and pull him back. Instead though, Aaron grabbed his arms and pulled him up.

“Take off your gloves,” Aaron asked as he trailed kissed on Spencer’s neck once he had him fully in his lap. Spencer wrapped his legs around Aaron’s waist, holding himself there as surely as Aaron’s hands on his ass cheeks was. He did as Aaron asked, dropping them off the side of the bed. He wanted his pants off. But there was no way with the position that Aaron had him in. The hands on his ass pulled him in closer, tighter. He could feel the hard cock pressing into him and still a little sensitive from his orgasm, Spencer groaned. “Not so silent, are we?”

Aaron thrust up into him and Spencer shuddered. He tried to bury his head in Aaron’s neck to hide his gasp but was stopped by Aaron’s head. “I want to hear you. Every gasp, moan, whimper. Everything.”

“Then take my pants off. Or I will.”

“You will, will you?” Aaron’s voice was playful but the hands on Spencer’s ass gripped him just a little bit tighter. “As soon as your pants come off my mouth is going down there. Do you want that now or do you want to extend this a little longer?”

“I want your cock in me.”

“That comes after. I want you to beg for that. I want you to beg and whimper and demand that I slid myself inside of you.”

If Spencer hadn’t just came, he would have then. Those words, in Aaron’s voice, whispered in his ear were things of his dreams. He turned his head, blindly seeking Aaron’s mouth, drawing him into another kiss. Aaron returned it with force, shifting his grip to hold him in his lap with one arm wrapped tight around him while the other moved to the front of his pants, undoing the button and then the zip. Spencer felt finger tips brush his underwear. He hadn’t thought about what he’d worn that day. The fabric was soft and clung tight to his hips. He wanted them off. He wanted skin on skin. He wanted Aaron’s mouth on him, everywhere. As hands roamed over his underwear covered ass and upper thighs, he heard Aaron moan in appreciation.

“Naked, now,” Spencer said as he pushed himself out of Aaron’s grasp to lay back down on the bed, Aaron still between his legs. He worked his pants and then his underwear down to his knees, drawing them up so he could slip them all the way off. Aaron grabbed them and threw them away before he slid down. Spencer breathed in deep as Aaron lifted his legs up and over his shoulders. He didn’t even have a chance to think to about Aaron’s first look of him naked before he felt first a finger and then more between his legs. It was nothing like he’d ever felt before when fingers spread him and then a tongue traced his hole. He wanted to reach down and touch himself but just as his hand started to move he remembered. Aaron had said cuffs but the tie and belt draped at the foot of the bed reminded him that Aaron had other ways of restraining him. He grabbed the bedsheets instead. His single instance of allowing anyone to pleasure him down there, they had stayed far away from his hole.

“Aaron, please.”

“You aren’t screaming yet,” Aaron said as he finally let his tongue move farther away from his hole and up. He was just far enough away from his first orgasm that his clit wasn’t sensitive anymore. Not to the point of it being too much. He tried to take in a deep breath but when the fingers holding him open moved to where palm was covering his hole and the fingers were on either side of his clit, he almost choked on air. Aaron pulled his tongue away for just a few seconds, until Spencer was breathing easy again and then it went back. That tongue drove him mad with the licking, mouth with sucking on occasion, and Aaron’s palm was maddening against his hole.

“Please. I need to come. Please,” Spencer begged as the hand left him. Aaron’s tongue stayed but moved back down to his hole. He could feel how wet he was. Aaron’s hand had to be covered in his slick. And his face as well, Spencer conceded when he felt that tongue slowly pushing into him. Spencer’s right hand let go of the bed sheets and moved down. He felt it get grabbed and could feel exactly how covered in his fluids it was as Aaron threaded their fingers together. It was held just out from his body before moving to settle the hand in Aaron’s hair. Spencer gripped the short hair as tight as he could and pulled it down. Aaron’s face moved in just a little more and that tongue inside of him went deeper. “Aaron!”

“That’s it,” Aaron said face still pressed to Spencer’s sex making the words rumble all through his entire body. He tried to calm down but then he felt a finger at his hole. The finger hesitated and Spencer was glad because he was unsure. Looking down, he saw eyes locked on his face, Spencer nodded. He was shocked when it didn’t go in far. Then he felt fingers pressing into his ass cheek and knew what digit it was. Thumb. Long enough for him to feel it but not long enough to do anything but drive him crazy.

Spencer let go of the bed, grabbing his pillow and covering his face with it as Aaron’s tongue and fingers brought him to another orgasm. He screamed into the pillow as tongue worked him through his entire orgasm. He could barely breathe through the pillow but his body wasn’t following what he wanted and he was unable to get it to move so that he could remove the pillow. Instead he just let his hand slump to the bed and knew that even if he died of lack of oxygen, he’d die fucking happy.

What was probably just a minute or later, Aaron pulled the pillow off his face and was smiling down at him. Spencer just stared up at him.

“Didn’t that feel a hell of a lot better than your own fingers?” Aaron asked as he settled a little farther down, into Spencer’s body and that was when he realized that the older man had no underwear on. Spencer reached down, sliding his hand between them to get his hand on the cock. Aaron closed his eyes in pleasure as Spencer gently pumped him.

“I want this,” Spencer said as he squeezed the cock lightly.

“And you’ll get it. If I go inside of you right now, I’ll come and then it’ll be over for you. You may have been silent for the others but before you screamed, you were panting and mewling and it had me near ready to go before I even got my thumb inside of you. Maybe you just needed the emotional connection.” Aaron brushed his knuckles down the side of Spencer’s face before he leaned down to kiss him. There was the lingering taste of what Spencer assumed was his slick on Aaron’s tongue and Spencer chased his tongue into his mouth to taste all of it. Aaron slid a hand and then arm underneath Spencer’s head and shifted his lower body just a little before he could feel his hard cock rubbing just slightly in between his folds.

Everything that Aaron was doing to him felt wonderful. Spencer wrapped his legs around the other man’s waist, tilting his hips up to where the drag of cock had even more across his sex. Aaron’s free hand slid down, parting his folds before coaxing his cock to his entrance. He was looking down and when Aaron didn’t push forward he looked at Aaron’s face. The older man cocked an eyebrow at him. Aaron’s words came back at him. He’d already begged. Now all that was left was to demand.

“I swear if you…” Spencer stopped as he felt the head of Aaron’s cock slip inside of him. He inhaled but Aaron didn’t move any farther than that. Instead, he just stayed still. When Spencer exhaled, Aaron moved in just a little farther. He leaned over and kissed Spencer, pushing in a little farther. Spencer had wondered exactly how it would feel, to have a cock inside his vagina. Aaron was gentle but Spencer felt it when his hymen broke. The cock in him paused. He breathed through the subtle pain. He’d expected something more. More pain, more feeling of something leaving him but there was nothing. Just the feel of Aaron’s hard cock inside of him, the man above him, and the feeling of his heart swelling with something for the other man. He wasn’t ready to call it love yet and he hoped that he wasn’t called on it soon.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked as he slid the rest of the way in.

“Yes. I just.” Spencer shifted just a little. Aaron hissed and Spencer could see him fight the urge to thrust. “It’s different than what I thought. I like you inside of me.”

“Yeah?” Aaron leaned down and but he didn’t kiss him. He hovered his face over Spencer’s sharing breath as he shallowly thrust in and out of him. “I like being inside of you. You are tight and perfect. I want to be in all the time. In your mouth, your ass, or your vagina. I don’t care.”

“Yes.” Spencer started to thrust back onto Aaron’s cock. He lost himself on the feel of the body moving above him, the cock inside of him. He and Aaron shared breath but never kissed. Eyes locked. Aaron’s eyes were so expressive and he could see the love in them. There was no escaping the look he had. No escaping the shelter of Aaron’s arms. Here he was safe. Here he could be himself. When Aaron brushed his fingers over his clit, he went taut and came again.

“I love you, Spencer,” Aaron whispered in his ear as he snapped his hips into Spencer sharply. He stilled like that and Spencer could feel Aaron pulsing inside him. There was a spread of warmth and he wrapped a leg around Aaron to hold him inside of him. He thrust down on him another time, feeling another pulse.

“I…I…” Spencer stuttered over the words. He wanted to say them. He meant them. He hadn’t been ready just moments before but now he was and he wrapped his arms around Aaron. “I love you too.”

“You are perfect for me. Just as you are. A perfect cock. Tight hole. All male.”

Spencer was shocked when Aaron moved down him. Placing kisses as he went. Reverently, he kissed the top of his sex.

“I’ve never thought that hairless down here would be hot but with you.” Aaron licked at what he called his clit but Aaron called his cock. He knew that his hormones had made it bigger but it didn’t have the same function as a cock so he’d never called it that. He could get used to calling it that though. He was so sensitive and he wasn’t sure what Aaron was doing. The man’s swiped at him but stayed away from his now over sensitive clit.

“I got hair removal treatments one of my last trips to Vegas. What are you doing?” Spencer didn’t even need to ask as he felt a tongue push inside him. He was spent but it was obvious that Aaron wasn’t. “Aaron.”

But Aaron said nothing. Spencer became more and more boneless as Aaron played with him. He didn’t even realized how relaxed until he woke up when Aaron wrapped himself around him. His lover smelled like his shower gel and shampoo. He relaxed from the startle he’d got and realized that Aaron had dressed him in sleep pants.

“Sorry.” Spencer couldn’t stifle the yawn.

“Nothing to be sorry about. Just sleep.”

“Never slept in the same bed as someone since I was a kid.” Spencer admitted as he closed his eyes. He was already drifting off to sleep. He felt a kiss being placed behind his ear and then he was asleep.


Aaron opened his eyes, not knowing where he was. Looking around, he still didn’t know. Then he heard the muffled sounds of talking then Jack’s laugh. He was at Spencer’s. Instead of getting right out of bed, Aaron laid there. Remembering the night before.

After Spencer had fallen asleep, Aaron hadn’t been able to. He’d lain there, wrapped around the younger man. Spencer’s admission to him had been shocking but he hadn’t let it mess him up long. He had processed and moved on.

Last night had seen the best sex of his life. Spencer’s open vulnerability had been endearing. He could feel how utterly Spencer had given himself over. The younger man had stopped himself several times from doing what he normally did and Aaron knew it was going to take time to get those actions gone but he’d be patient.

Spencer hadn’t lasted until morning before waking him with a blowjob. Aaron had returned the favor and they’d fallen asleep with Spencer’s head tucked under Aaron’s. He could tell by the fact of how wet Spencer was by the time that Aaron had gone down on him that he wasn’t lying when he said he liked sucking cock. And he was good at it. He really expect nothing less. Spencer was good at whatever he put his mind to. After that second round, Aaron had fallen asleep easily.

The sounds of Jack and Spencer doing whatever they were doing washed over him. He tried to figure out what they were doing by sound alone but couldn’t. Rolling over to grab his phone, he was shocked by the time. It was almost nine. There were no messages so Aaron rolled out of bed. He found his spare go bag sitting on a dining room table chair by the bathroom. Peeking inside the bathroom he saw a set of towels laid out for him.

The leisurely shower did him good and by the time he was turning off the water he was looking forward to the day. Grabbing the towel he’d hung on the rack, Aaron toweled off his face and hair before stepping onto the mat. A steaming cup of coffee was beside his shaving kit, telling him that Spencer had snuck in.

By the time he was dressed in a casual outfit from his go bag, Aaron found that Spencer and Jack were still making the same noises. He opened the bedroom door as quietly as possible and snuck into the living room area. The sight that greeted him had him stopping.

The couch was pushed to the outer wall with all of its cushions missing. The chess table was slid over to make room for the couch. The TV stand was missing. But the big shock was the sheet castle. It hung from five points in the ceiling and took up most of the living room. The voices were coming from inside the castle.

Draining his cup, Aaron walked around the perimeter of the castle, trying to find the door. When he came back to his starting point and didn’t one, he frowned. He walked to the kitchen to put up the coffee cup, not finding evidence of pancakes but yogurt in the sink.

The feel of something hitting him in the back of the head had him turning as something clinked on the floor. He crouched to pick up what looked like a dried kidney bean to hear another hit the cabinet. Then Jack started giggling. He looked up to see something slip back inside the castle. He smiled inside. Obviously Spencer and Jack were on a hunt of some kind. And it had been decided he was an enemy.

Not giving them time to mount any other kind of Defense, Aaron eyed the upper sections and found something that he could use as an entry way. He slipped inside of it and was rewarded with a pillow to the face and one to the stomach. He saw the piles of pillows and cushions so he wrapped one arm around Jack and then one around Spencer, taking them both down with him. As soon as he hit, Jack was up on top of him, sitting on his stomach. The smile on his face was so full of happiness that he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Did we win, Spencer?” Jack asked. The boy looked at man who Aaron still had his arm around him.

“I think we did. The beast looks subdued.”

“You better check.” Jack said as he eyed his father. Aaron wondered how he was supposed to be checked.

“And how am I supposed to do that? You check, you’re sitting on him.”

Spencer sat up and Jack leaned over to whisper in his ear. Whatever his son said, it had Spencer blushing.

“Jack,” Spencer said.

“Please?” Jack begged.

“Only because you are cute.” Spencer looked down at Aaron before he blushed more. Aaron lifted his legs, realizing what Jack wanted. He braced his legs and Jack leaned back on them. Spencer tried to get away with a quick peck on Aaron’s lips but Aaron reached up and grabbed the back of his head. It was chaste but good. He wasn’t going to hide from Jack.

“Good morning,” Aaron said when he allowed Spencer to pull away.

“Morning. Jack wanted me to wake you two hours ago thinking you had turned into sleeping beauty. I distracted him with a safari in Africa.”

“I can see that. You guys made a tent castle. It’s very nice.”

“We waited to do pancakes with you, Dad.”

“I saw that you guys had yogurt.”

“With granola and strawberries. I woke Spencer up when I went to the bathroom. So he showered and then we went to the store. Lunch is mari…” Jack paused and looked at Spencer.


“Marinating,” Jack said slowly before looking back at Aaron. “In the fridge.” Jack relaxed more on Aaron’s stomach and he laid his head on Aaron’s knees.

“You guys have been busy while I slept.”

“Are you hungry? Pancakes won’t take long.” Spencer looked at the clock on the TV stand.

“Sure. Did you shower Jack?”

“When we got back from the store. Spencer got my clothes and yours from the car. He also said that next time we stay over we can sleep in the tent.” Jack looked hopeful.

“That sounds good.” Aaron cupped the side of Spencer’s face and drew him down for another chaste kiss.

“It does doesn’t it?” Spencer said.


Work was the same as ever. Killers killed and they stopped them. They jet setted around the country. Spencer didn’t act any different and no one on the team even suspected a thing. Except the fact that Aaron couldn’t hide how happy he was. He listened as the team discussed him when they thought he couldn’t hear them. Even Spencer got into it, giving statistics on the average length of time a man went after a divorce before dating again and even on widowers. The younger man never showed jealousy or anger.

Then a case came up where Spencer had to play bait in a club. He was the only one on the team that fit the victim profile. Morgan fought Aaron on being the one to hook up Spencer’s audio but when Spencer asked for Hotch, Morgan dropped it.

“You know why don’t you?” Spencer had asked as Aaron had taped the wire to his chest. An earwig was in his hand to put into his own ear. It was small and one of the more hidden options. It would mean that hopefully in the dark club, no one would see it.

“I want to say our relationship but given that look you are giving me, I’d say something else.”

“Texas. I asked everyone to act like I was going to come back from that train. You were the only one who could. Morgan’s acting like he wants to come with me and protect me. Rossi isn’t sure how to act. JJ is worried about other things and she should be. Prentiss looks like I’m willingly going into Hankel’s shed. I can see your worry but it’s no different than if Prentiss, or Morgan was going to be doing this. I can see you want to act different but you are stopping yourself. I need to be calm.”

That had been two hours before. So far no one who had approached Spencer in the club fit the profile of the UnSub that they had. Morgan was inside the club as a party goer along with Prentiss. Dave was just arriving and Aaron was in the office, listening in. JJ was right there with him. Keeping an eye on the security feed that they had been given access to. The bartender knew not to give Spencer alcohol, and if someone gave him a drink, it was swapped for a non alcoholic one by Prentiss as soon as possible. So far three admirers had given Spencer a drink.

“Hotch, that man,” JJ pointed at the screen as she talked. There was a man who was eyeing Spencer from across the bar. No matter where his lover went, the man’s eyes were on him. “I’ve seen him move around three times to keep an eye on someone. I think he’s eyeing Reid.”

“I think so too.” Aaron clicked over to activate Morgan’s feed. “Morgan, man in the northwest corner of the building. Black pants, green shirt, blonde hair. Clean shaven.”

“I see him,” Morgan said just low enough to where his mic would catch it.

“Keep an eye on him and Reid.”


It was another half an hour before the man made a move. Spencer pulled away from the group he was dancing with on the floor and moved to get a drink. The bartender had a glass of water waiting for him. Spencer drained it and the man stepped up to him. The younger man smiled at him and it made Aaron’s heart leap into his throat.

“You dance well.”

“Thank you. I’m Spencer.”

“Josh.” The man held his hand out his hand and Spencer shook it. “Do you want to dance?”

“Sure.” Spencer winked at the bartender who nodded back. It was the signal that he needed to keep an eye.

Twenty minutes later, Aaron was watching as Spencer let the man touch him in ways that Aaron was jealous about. He could tell though by Spencer’s breathing and the way he was moving that while he was into the dancing, he wasn’t getting aroused or liking the touching at all. The man pulled him closer and Spencer went with it. They turned and the view of the man’s hand on Spencer’s hip disappeared. Before they could do anything, Spencer went flying and the man was charging at him.

“Are you a fucking eunuch?” the man screamed as he landed on Spencer’s legs.

“MOVE!” Aaron yelled into the comms. Morgan took off from his spot and Prentiss wasn’t far behind. Dave was too far away.

“You don’t even have a fucking cock! You aren’t worth my time!” Another patron of the club grabbed the man and pulled him off Spencer before Morgan could get to him.


“It’s no use if you don’t have a cock. What’s a fag without a cock?”

“All you need is a hole, why should it matter if I have a cock?”

“I can’t make you suck it if you can’t have it!” Then as if he realized what he said the man tried to fight the hold that the other patron had on him. Morgan moved to grab him and Spencer pulled out his credentials from his back pocket and started to read him his rights. His lip was bleeding from the punch and already his face was turning black and blue but he cuffed the UnSub and started to walk him out of the club with Morgan and Prentiss behind him. Dave met him at the door and only once he was in the lead LEO’s hand did Aaron finally look away from the camera.

No one said anything about what the man yelled. Not even the LEO’s when Spencer sat in the interrogation room and with the help of Prentiss broke him. He admitted to every single man he’d killed. Seven in total. It wasn’t hard to see the questions in Morgan’s eyes, in the way that Dave watched Spencer. But no one said a thing. Spencer stayed far away from Aaron until they were boarding the jet. JJ had talked him into letting a medic look at his face. He was pronounced fine with no broken bones in his face and given an ice pack and a few to take that could be activated at a later time. Aaron cornered him in the kitchenette with the curtain pulled and traced his split lip with his thumb.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Hotch.”

“I’ll let it go for now,” Aaron whispered in his ear before he stepped back into the main area of the jet. Spencer came out minutes later with a cup of tea in his hands. He took a seat on the inside of the table where Aaron had set his files. There was only so long that they would keep quiet, the rest of the team. Once he was settled, Aaron took the seat next to him. No one missed that.

“Reid, are you okay?” Morgan asked just as the pilot released them to move about the jet.

“My face isn’t broke and I can talk, I’m good.” Spencer smiled at Morgan, wincing a little when it pulled at his lip.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.”

“Are you going to make me ask?”

“I think I am.”

“Spence, there is only one reason he would call you a eunuch. He touched you.”

“Yes he did. He grabbed my crotch. It’s in my verbal report that you all heard.”

“Guys, drop it,” Prentiss started but the look from JJ and Morgan had her sighing. “It’s his business. Not yours. How does it affect your work?”

“You know what is going on?”

“No but I respect Reid’s privacy.”

“We could have been better prepared.”

“For what? An UnSub to freak out.”

“What do you think I have going on Morgan,that had you so upset about protecting me?” Spencer asked.

Aaron wanted to put a stop to it but he knew that his lover wouldn’t like it. Dave was silent, assessing Spencer.

“I don’t know.”

“What I have or don’t have between my legs is no one’s business but mine and whoever I decide to sleep with. If I decide I want to have sex with you, I’ll let you know.”

“Hotch.” Morgan turned to look at Aaron. Pleading in his eyes.

“What could we have done different? Nothing. I wouldn’t have had you or Prentiss closer. It took him an hour to approach Reid. There wasn’t anyone else that fit the victim profile. Reid handled it just fine.”

Morgan glared at Aaron but dropped it. Or so Aaron thought.

It was a week later and they were on another case. This time they had to room together because it was a small town and there were only three rooms open at the B&B. The rotation had him and Dave sharing and Aaron thought that it would be fine, Spencer and Morgan sharing but he heard a noise in the middle of the night. He waited for a knock on the door but drifted back off to sleep.

Morning came with a call that the locals had loose lips and the profile had been leaked to the news, courtesy of Garcia. When he knocked on JJ’s door he did not expect Spencer to answer it.

“JJ is in Morgan’s room. What’s up?”

Aaron looked around and saw Prentiss at the table eating. There was a spot where a half empty plate sat.

“Locals talked. We have to be prepared for the UnSub to kill his victim and dump her within the day.”

“Prentiss and I will head down to the station. You can bring the others later.”

Aaron watched as Prentiss eyed the last few bites of her food and then assembled Spencer’s into a sandwich using his toast. She passed it to him on her way the bathroom.

“This will be the arrangements for the rooms.”

“What happened?”

“Morgan turned into a nosy rosy in the middle of the night. It’s fine. He just… We can talk later. Go get ready and eat. Breakfast is ready in the kitchen.”


Spencer shut the door and Aaron went back to his room. He decided to get ready before talking to JJ. Spencer was the consummate professional the rest of the case.

“I can tell you are worried, Morgan. It’s the only thing stopping me from harassment charges. So explain to me what is going on.” Aaron demanded after the case wrapped. He’d followed the younger Agent to the bathroom at the station, locking the door.

“I just… He never uses a urinal. I never paid attention but one of those clubs we visited, there were no stalls so he didn’t go to the bathroom until we had got back to the station. I never paid attention before. I thought back and I have never seen him use a urinal.”

“It’s private, Morgan and you are crossing lines. What made you go through his stuff?”

“I’m worried. He has bruises on his hips and I swear I saw a bite mark on his upper thigh.”

Aaron knew exactly where the bruises and the bite mark came from. They’d had given each other oral and when Aaron had came, he’d bit Spencer. The bruises had come from the day before the case, Spencer had been riding him and Aaron hadn’t been gentle in the grabbing of his hips.

“So what scenario do you have in your head? That he’s being abused? What?”

“I don’t know. I…I dropped the ball after Hankel. I don’t want to see him hurt.”

“You are the one hurting him. You are making him upset.”

“And you guys need to make sure the bathroom is empty before you start airing someone else’s business for the world to hear.” Spencer’s voice rang out from the last stall. The sound of a flush and then the door opened. Spencer was buckling his belt as he stepped out. He gave Morgan a hard look before he stepped up to the sink. He washed his hands, eyes never leaving Morgan’s in the mirror. Only when he was drying his hands with paper towels did he turn to look at Morgan. “How do you think I got those bruises and a bite to my thigh?”

“I don’t know.”

“No for you to be worried, you have to have an idea. Do you think that I allowed someone to put their hands on me when I didn’t want them to? Do you think I was raped? What?”

“I…” It was only then that Morgan finally looked like he was getting it.

Spencer gave Aaron a quick look of guilt before he turned back to Morgan. “I got the bite a few days back when I sucked my boyfriend’s cock so well that he couldn’t help biting when he came. Once he realized what he had done, he was ashamed but I set him to rights. The bruises on my hips are from when I was riding him so hard that he had to grip me tight for fear of me falling off him. So Morgan, looking at my marks like that, do you still worry about me? Do you worry about what I am doing at home? What I have in my pants? Because I will say this again, there are only two people who need to know what I have or don’t have and neither one of them is you.” Spencer leaned back against the sink and eyed Morgan up and down. “Unless you can’t work with me anymore unless you know.”

“Pretty Boy, I…” Morgan faltered and sighed. “I’m sorry. You are right.”

“I know I am right.” The smile on Spencer’s face was teasing and Morgan laughed. A true laugh that had his shoulders relaxing.

“Never change, Pretty Boy,” Morgan said as he moved close and slung an arm around Spencer’s shoulders to pull him in close. “So when are we going to meet this boyfriend of yours that you’ve been keeping from us.”

Aaron moved ahead of them and opened the door after unlocking it. Spencer passed by him with wink that he only smiled in response to. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen. He wondered if Prentiss knew somehow. If she’d guessed that Spencer hadn’t been born male. Or if she really just didn’t think that she needed to know. Aaron was sure that Dave would come to him and talk about it, if he’d guessed that while the man had called him a eunuch, there was another reason for Spencer to not have a cock and balls. With the case wrapped up, they could leave. They’d just been packing up their copies of everything when Aaron had followed Morgan to the bathroom. He hadn’t realized that Spencer had gone as well.

The jet landed just at dinner time and Aaron couldn’t say no to the team who wanted to have a meal out. So he called Jessica and had her drop Jack off at the restaurant. He only realized his mistake when Jack took off from him as they got to the door of the private room. Will and Henry were on their way as well so he hadn’t even given a second thought to having Jack join them. Jack went right for Spencer and the younger man opened his arms and pulled him into his lap. There was no hesitation and Jack just cuddled down into his arms. If there was a more spectacular way of outing him and Spencer to the team, he couldn’t think of it. He stood in shock as Spencer handed over his glass of water for the boy to take a drink. Almost as if they were pod people, the rest of the team turned and looked at Aaron.

“Daddy, there’s a seat for you here,” Jack said as he patted the seat that JJ had been saving for Will. Aaron moved just because he didn’t want to be standing anymore. Once he was down, Aaron took a drink of his own water, trying to delay the inevitable.

“I wasn’t aware that Spence was spending that much time with you, Hotch,” JJ said. They all knew that Spencer had been helping but none of them ever knew that he’d spent almost all of his free time with them, more now that they were together.

“Spencer spends all the time with us,” Jack said helpfully. Aaron was mortified. He turned his head to look at Spencer and saw that he was whispering in Jack’s ear with a smile on his face. “And he makes special pancakes when we stay the night at his place.”

“Special pancakes huh?” Dave asked.

“Uh huh. Daddy says that he has to run more because he eats too much.”

Aaron just wanted to slap his hand over his son’s mouth and possibly smack Spencer on the back of the head because he was pretty sure that Spencer was coaching him. He had his eye on Morgan though and was waiting for the second that he put together Spencer and Jack acting like they were and the boyfriend who had given Spencer the bite mark and bruises on his hips. It didn’t take long at all as Morgan’s eyes snapped right to Aaron’s eyes.

“Something to share Morgan?” Spencer asked.

“I…” Morgan looked at Spencer then back at Aaron. “I…”

“You what?” Spencer asked.

“Reid…” Morgan kind of deflated and possibly was turning a little green. “Your point has been made.”


“What point?” Garcia asked.

“Two cases ago I had an UnSub accuse me of being a eunuch. Morgan has been acting inappropriate since and because of that I think he has some images in his head at the current that he doesn’t want.”

Aaron agreed that Morgan probably didn’t want that image in his head, Aaron didn’t want Morgan to have the image in his head either.

“Why would he accuse you of being a eunuch?” Garcia asked.

“Because when he went to grab my cock, it wasn’t there.” Spencer had his hands over Jack’s ears and the boy wasn’t fighting it at all. He was in fact playing with something in his hands. Aaron couldn’t see what it was as Jack’s back was to him.

Aaron almost choked on the water in his mouth. He looked at Spencer. Spencer hadn’t talked about wanting to tell the team at all, especially in the aftermath of the last case. Yet here he was, telling them.

The others on the team were just looking at Spencer in shock. It was rare for them to be entirely speechless, especially after Spencer dropped any bomb on them but this had them just staring.

“I wasn’t born with one,” Spencer said as he pulled his hands away from Jack’s ears. The boy just settled down more in his lap and reached into the upper pocket of Spencer’s shirt to pull out what looked like a dinosaur figurine. He set it down along with a second one that Aaron assumed he’d been playing with. Spencer leaned down and came back up with about five more dinosaurs. Jack giggled and pushed back the plate on the table, starting to play with the figures. “I transitioned in college. Other than my mother and father and a few very trusting friends and my few past boyfriends, you all are the only ones that know.”

Aaron then saw the reason why Spencer had brought it up tonight. With Jack there and Will on the way, they would all be on their best behaviour. It was a perfect time. Before any of them would be able to get him alone, they’d have time to process it all. They hopefully wouldn’t say anything stupid.

“But the…” JJ stopped herself as the door to the room opened and Will slipped in with Henry in a carrier. Will looked up at the silence and looked around the room. His eyes just slid past everyone and settled right on Spencer and Jack.

“Y’ owe me twenty,” Will said as he moved to the only open seat which was on JJ’s other side. Aaron hadn’t realized that Prentiss had moved to let him sit on the side of his girlfriend. He set the carrier down along with the diaper bag and leaned down to dig out Henry.

“What?” Spencer said he looked between Will and JJ a frown on his face.

“I told her that y’ and Hotch would end up together.” Will moved back to hand over Henry to Spencer. The younger man’s face broke into a big grin as he shifted Jack around to where he could hold Henry up against his chest and shoulder. The boy just giggled and laid a big open mouth kiss on his cheek. “And Jacky here seems very happy to sit in y’r lap when his father is right there. Doesn’t take a profiler to understand what that means.”

“Right.” Spencer smiled at him before looking down at the two kids in his lap. Will moved back over to the seat on the other side of JJ. Jack was content to sit in Spencer’s lap and share him. He was glad that his son wasn’t upset at it. Henry’s eyes were totally focused on Jack. Aaron sighed and scooted his chair closer to Spencer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Spencer looked at him and he could see why Spencer had done it. His face looked like he’d just released a great burden. If that UnSub hadn’t screamed about him being a eunuch, it never would have become an issue but the team knew that something was up and while Morgan had backed off, there was no guarantee that he was going to stay back. He was sure that Morgan and JJ would want to talk, in private and that Dave might just back off or ask Aaron everything.

“How long had you known?” Dave asked. Aaron looked up thinking that he’d asked him that but instead Dave was looking at Prentiss.

“I guessed it when he was in the hospital for his knee. He had a catheter in, but I heard a nurse talk about how he was lucky. That was it. I didn’t hear anymore. I started to watch him. On the day I came to pick him up I saw him get a shot from a doctor. It wasn’t a doctor that I’d seen with him before and then I found out it was his personal doctor. I saw the syringe. I saw what it was. Hormones. I brushed it off but it was at the back of my mind. I never said anything.”

Conversation stopped as the waiter brought in the appetizers. Aaron hadn’t paid attention to what Spencer had ordered so when a plate of deep fried macaroni and cheese bites were set down, he smiled. Spencer broke two apart and let them start to cool a little before he picked one up and bit into it. Jack watched his face and when he smiled, the boy leaned forward and picked up one of the open pieces. The two of them were a perfect picture. He felt his phone vibrate on the table and watched as the team’s heads all popped up and looked slightly horrified. He unlocked his phone and found a text waiting on him. He opened it and found that it was a picture of Spencer breaking apart the bites. Jack was smiling and with Henry on his shoulder who was asleep.

“It’s not a case.” Aaron looked at the sender and saw it was JJ. He smiled at her. He looked at Spencer. He had wrapped an arm up and around Henry, brushing his fingers on his hair. Jack was munching on the bites and Spencer finished off the rest so that Jack wouldn’t fill up on them. When they were done, Spencer picked up the menu and opened it to the kid’s section. He read each item off to the boy and waited for him to make a face.

The only item that got a smile was a chicken cheese dish that Aaron had thought he would like. The kid’s meals all came with a vegetable and a dessert. They picked what he wanted for vegetables. Spencer promised to eat the ones in the spring mix that Jack didn’t. Jack asked what Spencer was going to get and the man showed him. He listened as they chatted and discussed the sides that Spencer was going to get.

Aaron’s phone was still in his hand so when it went off again no one heard it. It was a text from Dave.

Your little family is cute. He looks like he’s taking to fatherhood well.

It was gradual. He just started helping after Haley and it just grew.

You don’t take the easy route in life. The age difference, his status as your subordinate, and being Trans. I think though that you two are perfect for each other. He adores Jack and you need someone like that.

Is that you approving?

This is me telling you that I’ll take over all of his evaluations and whatnot. And I’m thinking that the team sleeping arrangements will be better on a set term.

And what kind of terms.

I’ll bunk with Morgan, the girls can share instead of swapping between Morgan and Reid. You and lover boy can share.

Do you think the team will go for that?

About doing something that will make you two happy and make cases bearable. Also, it’s better than having two pining people in different rooms.

Aaron chose not to answer that. While he’d been texting the waiter came back and had made the rounds around the table. Aaron opened his mouth when the waiter finished with JJ but instead of going to him, the waiter left.

“I saw what you were eying and I knew you wouldn’t get it. So I ordered it for you. You were lost texting with I am assuming Rossi,” Spencer whispered to him as he leaned close. Henry shifted on him and his face scrunched like he was going to cry. Spencer leaned back and Henry settled again.

“How is that comfortable?” Morgan asked. Spencer looked up and smiled.

“What? I’m used to Jack in my lap. And Henry is small still. Now when they get older, it’s going to get harder but right now, it’s nice.”

“Spencer brings me toys. He bought a whole set of these,” Jack held up the dinosaur and smiled before turning in Spencer’s lap so that he was straddling his leg, looking at the rest of the team. Aaron watched his leg go up so that Jack wouldn’t tip forward. “Every day that I see him, he brings me a new one. I have sixty so far and Spencer said that I have five hundred more. He said it’ll take over a year for me to get them all.”

JJ smiled and Garcia looked like she was going to cry. Prentiss had a fond look on her face.

“I told him that it was going to be closer to two years and asked him if that sounded good to him. Me being around long enough to give him all of the ones I have and the ones that are found until then. He said that I make his dad happy. That I could stay forever if I just kept his dad happy.” Spencer kissed Jack’s head and looked at Aaron. There was such happiness on his face that Aaron couldn’t help but scoot even closer. He didn’t stop until their thighs were pressed together. He reached over and took Henry, settling him on his chest. Dave was right his family was cute. And his family made him happy.

It wasn’t anywhere near conventional but it made him happy. It made Spencer happy and most of all it made Jack happy. That was all that mattered.
The End


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