Spencer was sitting in the outer area of Erin Strauss’s office. He had thankfully not had the chance to interact with her much at all. What he had figured out about her, though, was that she wasn’t cut out for the job she held. If she had to constantly berate anyone under her without a proper understanding of the job they did, she didn’t need that job. She also didn’t take the time to learn the job that those under her did, the sign of a weak leader. She was a good politician, and Spencer loathed politicians. He would happily kill nearly every single one for no other reason than they were who they were. Strauss’s appointment as the Section Chief of the BAU came from the fact that Gideon hadn’t wanted it, Max Ryan had retired, and Rossi was never going to be considered given his past history, nor did he want it. She was also given it because at the time the BAU was filled with men. The harshness of the crimes, and the fact that it was all gruesome, didn’t lend for many women to want into it. Strauss’s appointment was more political than who was right for the job. And the BAU was paying for that.
It wasn’t a slight on women, it was just that women like Prentiss weren’t just around every corner. The BAU was rough on every member, and more turned out like Elle Greenaway than not, male or female.
Spencer knew exactly what Strauss was doing, telling him to report to a meeting at one, and then delaying him by not meeting with him. He had brought along three case files and the rough draft of his current thesis for another master’s. He bided his time well, finding something that the other Spencer was debating on going after, and doing it. Everything was laid out on the computer for Spencer to find if they switched before he defended it.
By the time that Strauss’s assistant told him he could enter, he had finished all three case files, and his current draft of the thesis. He gathered his things slowly, putting them all in the correct order before he stood and moved to the office. Strauss was still on the phone, so Spencer sat down and opened the thesis again. He listened to her finish her call, but he didn’t look up. He was going to force her to initiate contact. He had dealt with bullies bigger than her and had never backed down. His balls were bigger than hers.
“Agent Reid, if I could have your attention,” Strauss said in a clipped tone that told Spencer that she was not happy being ignored. Spencer fumbled at his phone a little, turning on the record button, he wanted proof of this conversation.
“Sorry, Ma’am. I was allowing you to finish what your were doing. You are obviously very busy, and my work for the day is already done. I was just waiting patiently.” Spencer crossed his legs and sat back, setting all of his files in the chair next to him. He looked at her with a smile. He knew what this meeting was about, and he wasn’t thrilled. He was going to act dumb though.
“Be that as it may, you are now delaying me.”
“Sorry, Ma’am. Your assistant didn’t tell me what this was about.”
“Your conduct on the last case.”
“I see. I wasn’t aware that I did anything wrong at all.” Spencer knew that he had done something off, but it had only been a verbal disagreement from the team, but he had made them see his way of thinking, using logic and facts. The UnSub had been caught before he had taken another victim, and before he had killed his last.
“Agents Hotchner and Rossi’s reports were very detailed, as they normally are. I had to read between the lines.”
“I see. And what did you read between the lines?” Spencer didn’t react at all. She was trying to profile him and her skills were sorely lacking, osmosis didn’t work for profiling. Spencer had become better with access to FBI manuals, and such on profiling, but even he had to work at it. He saw it as an opportunity to be better for his Aaron when he got back to him. But, Strauss wouldn’t be able to profile a burnt out lightbulb correctly.
“You lied to your Unit Chief and teammates, and put not only your life in danger, but Agent Morgan’s as well, all for ego. It was pure dumb luck that you and Morgan weren’t killed by the man you were chasing.”
“I don’t think that any luck that I have can be called dumb, but how did you come about that thought based solely on Hotch and Rossi’s reports?” Spencer had read both of them very quickly as they had been open on Aaron’s desk the day before. It was right before lunch, and just before Rossi’s was signed off on and sent up the chain.
“I’ve learned to read between the lines of what the team actually states in their reports.”
“So you are accusing Agent Hotchner, and Agent Rossi of lying? To what end?” Spencer stared at her and tried to figure out the point of this whole endeavour. How was going after him going to affect the team? Even he knew that the other Spencer was the baby of the team. Everyone defended him, not just Aaron. He was the worst choice to go after, unless she thought that going after him was going to cause Aaron to try and take her on, and maybe get him fired. He’d dug up enough on her to end her, but he hadn’t because she hadn’t got in his way, nor had she done a thing yet that hadn’t been fixable. He had planned to leave it in the other Spencer’s hands on what exactly happened with her. It probably wasn’t going to stay that way.
“To suit their own ends. You misled Agent Hotchner and he allowed it through whatever misguided attempt he has to protect you. The whole team protects you, you are their weakest link.”
“I did not misled Agent Hotchner, nor did I lie to him on this last case. I brought up my thinking on what the UnSub was doing, and why, and after explaining the entire psychopathy behind it, the entire team agreed with me. At no point did my stint undercover to pinpoint the UnSub cause anyone to come under harm, and no one was even threatened until I caused the UnSub to snap and reveal himself. Agent Hotchner at no point was upset with me and my ability to perform on the case. So Ma’am, I have to ask, what is the point of this meeting?”
“You are on unpaid leave for a week and will stay here at Quantico for at least two cases after that. I want to make sure that you are not a liability to the team. You will go for a full psychological evaluation before returning to work in a week, and if they sign off on you being allowed back on the team, only then will you be allowed to travel on cases again after your two case suspension.” Strauss handed over a file of paperwork. Spencer took it and read over it before looking up at her.
“Excuse me Ma’am, but this is not the standard form for a punishable offense. If you want to sanction me, I will fight it. My Unit Chief hasn’t had a single issue with me or my work, and you haven’t even been on a case with the team outside of the trip to the military academy in years. You have not kept up on any of the newer studies that have been published by the FBI on Criminal Profiling.”
“You are not to talk to me like that, Agent Reid. You are on unpaid leave until I allow you back.”
“Yes, Ma’am. Of course, Ma’am. But I am not signing these papers. If you want to bring me in front of the disciplinary committee, please do so. If that is all Ma’am. I’m going to go to my desk and collect my things, Ma’am.”
“I want your badge and gun.”
Spencer narrowed his eyes at her. He took off his ID card from his hip where it was attached to his shirt, next he took off his holster and set the gun down.
“My badge is in my desk drawer. I’ll gladly run it up.”
“You have to sign there before you go.”
“No, Ma’am. I don’t. If I take the punishment and agree with the punishment I do. I do not have to sign them if I don’t agree and want to fight it. I will be doing that. After I collect my things.”
“I’m going to have you escorted out as I will have your badge and ID.”
“Fine.” Spencer was making plans before he even stood up. He grabbed the files, and his thesis and moved out of the room. A guard met him before he even made it three steps from the door. The man followed him and didn’t say a thing as he moved to his desk a floor down, and took his personal things. Spencer handed his badge over to him and that was when Prentiss noticed what was going on.
“I’ll let Hotch explain.” Spencer closed his desk drawer and hung his bag over his shoulder before grabbing his daily files, and moved to Aaron’s office. Aaron looked at him in concern.
“Strauss has put me off for two weeks pending a psych evaluation before I can return. Unpaid. I’ll be calling HR as soon as I get home. I’m being escorted out of the building in a few minutes as you can see.” Spencer pointed behind himself and watched as Aaron’s eyes grew wide as hell at the man who was in his doorway. “I’ve finished all the files on my desk, and I finished the entire write up for the case. She is citing that my ability to get you all to understand the UnSub that we went after, and the fact that the team was in danger as the reason why. I don’t understand what is going on, but she has my ID, and my gun, and I gave my badge to him.” Spencer pointed to the man behind him. “I’m letting you know that I am going to fight this.”
“My report was perfect. There was nothing…the case after Owen Savage was the worst report I’ve ever done for you. I gave you glowing remarks…” Aaron trailed off. He looked down as if it would help and then back up. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t either. Please, Hotch. Find out and tell the team what I have told you I don’t want to explain it again. Don’t let Morgan blow up either. I don’t need him getting in trouble over me.” Spencer tried to put the right inflections in and Spencer knew that he had when Aaron’s eyes went bug eyed wide. There was pain in them and the man nodded. “I drove in with you so I’m going to catch the train home.”
“Of course, I’ll get this straightened out, Reid. I promise you that.”
“I know that Hotch. You don’t break your promises.”
Spencer moved with swift feet out of the bullpen. Prentiss had rounded up JJ, Morgan, and Garcia, Rossi was standing outside of his office, looking over everything with a frown on his face. Spencer knew that Strauss and him had started something, but Spencer didn’t care about that, if she was fucking with the team, she was probably using Rossi for information. Strauss cared more about herself, and for whatever reason, she was targeting Spencer, and the only reason he could think of was Aaron. Or she was worried that Spencer had his eyes on her job. He had the degrees for it and with adding another it was seemingly a little odd, but neither him nor the correct Spencer had their eyes on Unit Chief, much less Section. She was going to use Spencer and any other agent on the team to undermine Aaron, who she couldn’t believe that he was happy where he was. She was a climber, and she didn’t understand people like Aaron. The only reason Aaron would take the Section Chief job was if he was the only option to not get a wild card.
There were a lot of plans to be made, and there was a lot of reading for Spencer to do. When he had read through all of Spencer’s letters to and from his mother, he skipped sections where he talked about Strauss. He’d put the woman as a non-player in the game he would be playing. He hadn’t expected this move, and he was going to make sure that whatever she had planned was going to backfire on her.
Spencer spent his two weeks off preparing for the utter decimation of Erin Strauss. He upped the defending of his newest degree telling the committee that he had found himself off of work, and that after he most likely be working a great deal so it was best to do it early. The committee had been more than willing. After he had done that he reached out to a friend that he had been staying away from in this world. Alex Blake. Partially because she had a chance of figuring out that he wasn’t who he was, and also because he was afraid he would slip and ask about her child Ethan. Finding out that he had not been saved in this world had nearly caused him to do something stupid. Instead he looked into the research that had been done and accessed forums that parents and scientists were on. and steered them in the right direction. It wouldn’t help Ethan, but it would help those who came after. He wondered if the other Spencer was getting his hands on all of it to bring it home with him.
Alex Blake wasn’t much different in the world that Spencer found himself in. There was the ache of loss all over her, but her morals were still where they should be. A few lunches over the time that Spencer was on his unpaid mandatory leave, and Spencer found that this world’s Strauss had screwed her even more. While waiting for the committee to finish whatever case they were looking at before, Spencer thought back to the last meal he’d had with her.
“I don’t remember her being this…unstable before,” Alex had said as they were both paying the bill at a local restaurant.
“Hotch got her help at a rehab facility for alcoholics, so I am not sure that she’s not drinking again. I know that her divorce didn’t help in that regard. I also know that her and Rossi have started something. You would think with her getting anything, she’d be more mellow.” Spencer smirked as the waiter had taken both cards away to make payment.
“I just can’t see her with him. There was always something there, but he’s too unstable for her liking. Maybe she’s changed a lot,” Alex had said but hadn’t commented on Spencer’s word choices even if her eyebrow had gone up. “Just like you have. I have been taking that the silence was partially the job, and the rest your new found partner. You’ve talked circles around him for a while now, sounding me out, and I know that the love bite there on your neck is recent so you must have landed him. Yet you have not brought him around to dinner like James wanted you to so there is a reason why.”
“You already know, Alex so you might as well spit it out,” Spencer said with a smile. He propped his head on his hand and smiled at her as he toyed with the fork on the table. Dessert was long gone, and the waiter had brought out two forks for each dessert probably expecting them to share, but it wasn’t something that Spencer liked to do. Aaron and Jack were the only ones that Spencer ate after. If they carried any germs, Spencer would get them from contact so it made sense that he wouldn’t need to worry about catching anything from them from eating or drinking after them.
“How is Hotch taking to having sexual relations with a man who is nearly two decades younger than him, and a subordinate?” Alex had a smile on her face that was totally happy. She was genuinely happy for him. There was something else there, and Spencer couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
“The adjustment period was a little rocky, but he’s doing fine, up until Strauss. It’s just too much in a row that has to do with the FBI.”
“Yes, I heard about ADD Richmond, and then Gideon was news within hours. It had to rock the both of you. Suicide wasn’t anything that I thought that Gideon would ever do, but given all that had happened, I’m not as shocked as I think I should be. I’m very glad that you had him for that. Is he treating you well?”
“Are you going to give him the shovel talk? Isn’t that what they call it?” Spencer asked, his mind was a little blank on that.
“No. I don’t think that Hotch would ever be the kind of man that needed to have someone give them shovel talk. But given what you have told me before, if anyone is going to do it it’ll be Morgan, possibly JJ.”
“JJ knows. Morgan does not. I’d rather that Aaron and I are a little more settled before Morgan finds out.”
“Yes, neighbors. Your last letter had a new address, and I knew that I knew it, and it didn’t take long at all to find it on the Christmas card that Hotch sent me this past year. How do you feel about a joint one this year?”
“We can’t exactly send out a family Christmas card, Alex.”
“To a few you could. Just those that know. Matching sweaters for all three of you. I’m sure that Jack would be all for that picture shoot. Maybe even talk Hotch into reindeer ears…” Alex’s smile was even bigger and while Spencer knew that she was just playing with him, it sparked a memory in Spencer’s mind.
In his world, Aaron, Jack, and him did pictures like that. Their last Christmas shoot had been staged, but it had been exactly what Aaron had needed it to be. The pictures had gone out to everyone that they had business deals with, those that worked with Aaron, and a few other contacts. Spencer and Jack had been in near matching outfits, while Aaron had been in expertly tailored slacks and a red silk shirt. Spencer’s sweater was one that had only been bought for that picture shoot while Jack wore his to school as much as he could with the penguin on it. He even wore it to the law firm’s family Christmas party.
“Where did you go there?”
“Just a little worried about the committee meeting in two days,” Spencer had answered in fear of telling the truth. Alex accepted it and Spencer knew that the only reason was because the Spencer he was playing had no reason to lie to her.
“You’ll be fine. There is no fault. Strauss thinks that she’s going to win because she’s the Section Chief, and a woman. The political climate that put her in place doesn’t blow the same way. There is no black mark on your record. Your Unit Chief, and the rest of your team had no issue with how the case went. She’s going to have to prove a great deal of things for there to be a black mark on your record after this.”
“Thanks. I know that. but I am still worried that maybe she knows about Aaron and I. and that she is going to use it. She wants Aaron out of his job. I think she is afraid that she would be pushed elsewhere if he even hinted that he wanted a desk job.”
“Hotch doesn’t want a desk job.”
Spencer had made an agreement noise but he wasn’t all that sure anymore.
“How did you know?” Spencer asked. Someone closer to the team, he could see but her? She had never seen them together.
“The last time that you came to speak in my class, you wore a tie I had got him for his birthday a few years back. It was one of a kind that I found at a kiosk in Africa after visiting James.”
The doors to the committee hall opened and Spencer stood up, shaking off the memory, he didn’t need to be distracted. Aaron had been standing beside him the entire time, but the rest of the team had been trying for calm and had scattered.
“Agent Reid, Chief Strauss, we are ready for you.”
The court like room was filled with people. Spencer didn’t recognize many of them, but he brushed them all off. He took the seat that he was escorted to. The only thing that had been done so far was that his badge and ID had been delivered by Aaron when he had arrived home the day after Spencer had been all but thrown out of the building.
“This committee meeting is going to be a little bit more informal than the last you were at, Doctor Reid,” the woman sitting in the middle of the raised dais said. Spencer took the seat that she waved at him to sit in. He sat down and Strauss took a table that was right to his left. She was alone at the table. Aaron sat down beside Spencer, and the rest of the team took a seat in the pew behind the table.
“Excuse me,” Strauss started, but with a look from the woman at the dais, she stopped.
“Chief Strauss, you did not call this committee. Doctor Reid didn’t call it either. He called a meeting, and it was in the preparation for that meeting that the the Deputy Assistant Director in charge of overseeing the section that the BAU is a part of has found that what he’s been lead to believe is the issue with the BAU isn’t actually the issue.”
A man cleared his throat and Spencer looked at him. He was sure that he’d seen him on the news in his world. A bastion of fixing corruption in the New York City justice system. Someone who was good in both worlds, it seemed.
“I have to commend the A team of the BAU on their ability to creatively lie in their reports,” Dylan Keith said.
Strauss smirked. Spencer held in his snort.
“I wouldn’t take that stance, Chief Strauss. This is going back years. In a discussion that I had with Agent Prentiss, I found out the full reason that she was placed inside the BAU as well as the full reason that Agent Hotchner was suspended for two weeks, and almost transferred out of the BAU when Gideon left. It seems that Chief Strauss’s protection of the BAU is only when it serves her. The A Team has had the highest solve rate that it’s ever had with the least amount of casualties after they have been called in, in years. Agent Hotchner’s leading of the team as well as its current make up is not in question. Chief Strauss you went with the team on a case in Milwaukee. The case files for it, as well as the after action reports cite that you did little to help the team even before Agents Hotchner, and Prentiss rejoined the team. What was your reason for placing Agent Prentiss on the team?”
“The team at that point was down a woman, and while the team had Agent Jareau she was more involved with her liaison job and not adding a female perspective to cases.”
“Agent Hotchner’s short list of agents to add to the team were all female. Why did you add a member without his or Agent Gideon’s approval to the team that was not on their short list?”
“They were taking too long.”
“In your mind. This team hunts the worst of the worst. They go up against the people that cause nightmares. They have to trust each other, and you planted a mole in the team to try and get information to hang Agents Hotchner and Gideon with. What would you have done if Agent Hotchner had revealed that he had known what she was from the start? Would you have pulled her or kept her there? No one on that team would have trusted her. Victims would have suffered and we could have lost members of the team.”
“I would have kept her there. She earned it.”
“No, she proved that she belonged. but she didn’t earn it. She would have been stellar on another team, and moved up at a later time, but you played politics. On the case in Milwaukee, you offended a veteran cop who had been on the team hunting Jeffrey Dahmer. He was a veteran and did exactly what he was instructed to do, and had done for years. Detective Wolynski filed a report that you were exactly what the BAU tries not to be when called into cases. The BAU works with local law enforcement and doesn’t take over. They don’t chastise them like children. You wanted to show that you were smarter, and better, and you failed at it. You had no field experience and it showed. You were no help and was more a of a hinderance in that case.”
“Excuse me,” Strauss said when Keith took a breath.
“No. It’s my turn to speak, Chief Strauss. I want to talk about Somerville Academy.”
“What about it?”
“There are certain situations where politics do come into what the BAU does, but if it’s the politics of keeping a military academy with a gleaming reputation at the expense of the children that go there, it’s not the time. You were more than willing to not look deep enough or hard enough into the practices of the school to figure out why those boys were dead.”
“I’d like to explain myself.”
“There is no reason. The BAU has been doing exemplary work despite having you at it’s head. Case in point, the suspension of Doctor Reid for no reason. We all went over the case file, and there was glowing remarks from the reports submitted by the LEOs on the case. He was pointed out as the entire reason the case was cracked, and that without him, many more would have died. He’s never been written up before by Gideon or by Hotchner. His degrees make him an asset to the FBI. Even reading between the lines, as you put it when you told Reid that he was being put on suspension, we can find no reason. You said he was reckless, I say that it was one of the least reckless times this team has had. There were no injuries besides the papercut that Agent Morgan it seemed groaned about the entire flight back.” Keith sat back and looked at the woman beside him and nodded.
“It also seems that Agent Hotchner went out of his way to get you into alcohol rehab, and made it so that it wasn’t traceable back, and still this is how you repay them? The team has more loyalty to a woman that they hate then you have in the protection of those you should be protecting. You are a black mark on the BAU, and the FBI. At the conclusion of this meeting, you will no longer be employed by the FBI, and with the actions you have taken, you will not be getting any severance or benefits.”
Spencer kept his reaction calm, but hadn’t seen it coming. He knew that the reason the meeting had been so late after his suspension was that they had been doing some looking into things. It seemed that a lot of meetings had happened. He hadn’t known that Aaron had talked to them. The personal side of their relationship between them had grown stronger. Spencer was enjoying dropping Jack off to school and picking him up every single day, but he was missing doing some kind of work besides school work.
“Doctor Reid, your gun is waiting on your desk. You will be paid for your two weeks off, and given another week off that will match up with the rest of the team. In that time, we will start the search for a new Section Chief.”
Spencer and the team were dismissed but Aaron had to stay behind. Spencer wanted to wait for him, but he had to get Jack from school. Jessica had been on standby in case the committee hearing took longer, but it hadn’t. Jack would be excited to have him and Aaron there for the next week. It would be a wonderful week. Spencer thought about what he was going to do over it. He had a lot of planning to do because Strauss’s punishment wasn’t over.
Spencer had moved from crutches to a cane during his recovery. He was leaning on that cane as he slowly paced back and forth in the lab. The calculations were still off by a slim margin. His brain was trying to go back through everything they had done so far. The original build, the accident, the new build, and all the experiments to try to recreate the original experiment that brought him here. His frustration was high, and his anxiety over nothing working was giving him his migraines again. He hadn’t had one in months, but the last couple of weeks, he had been having them almost daily. The knee was healing, but he still had pain from it as well. He sat down in one of the chairs at the desk in the main lab area, and looked at a recent picture that Jack had someone take of the three of them together. Spencer smiled as a lump caught in his throat as he ran a finger across the picture.
He was going to have to make some very hard decisions. It had been more than four months of zero results, of constant, almost daily failures. They had hit a plateau that Spencer didn’t think they could get over, and frankly, he was just tired of trying. He knew the reality, it could take them many more months, years or it could all be for naught. As he looked at the picture he was beginning to wonder if it was worth it to try anymore.
He looked up to see Charlie staring at him. Furrowing his brow he stared at his friend.
“I want to stop Charlie.”
“What? No, Spencer we are so close, we can’t stop.” Charlie protested as Spencer leaned back in his chair.
“I can’t do this anymore Charlie. The hope that we’ll find the answer every time I step into this lab is crushing me. I don’t know how many more disappointments I can take.” He picked up the picture again and knew that it wasn’t perfect. None of this was perfect by any means, but he had a home, friends who not only cared, but actually respected him. He was someone in this world. His name commanded respect in the academic world, where in his own he had always been an awkward speaker. Making inappropriate jokes, talking over people’s heads. Here they listened to what he had to say. He was respected at work, work that was surprisingly satisfying. The chance to continue working on degrees, and so much more. He would miss his mother. He would mourn for her, and it would be an ache that could never be filled. A wound that would always stay open, but these were the choices. Continue this day-to-day disappointment, or stop the whole endeavor and move on. It was an impossible choice, because no matter what happened, ultimately it was him, and his counterpart, that would pay the ultimate price.
Then there was Aaron and Jack. Here he had the family he had longed for. It wasn’t perfect, it would never be perfect. Aaron was a psychopath. He killed people, manipulated others, took what he wanted, and never felt remorse for anything he did. But, still, he was Aaron. Underneath it all there were similarities.
And, he was different. Almost six months in this world and he had changed on a fundamental level. His mind was calmer, his will was stronger, he was more confidant, and, the biggest change, he was a submissive. Spencer closed his eyes and wondered if it had been in him all the time. It, at times, frightened him by just how much he wanted to fall at Aaron’s feet and do whatever he wanted. They had talked about hard limits, things he wouldn’t do, even outside the bedroom. Killing was one of them. What he did to Foyet, he did to protect Jack, he would have been happy to see the man rot in prison. He still believed in justice, and the law. Unless he, or his family was in danger, he made it perfectly clear to Aaron that he would not kill. Aaron wasn’t pushing it, which Spencer was grateful for.
But, he wondered. He wondered if he could. He wondered if he stayed in this world permanently, if he could kill. There had been times he was tempted. The mob father that killed the kid in front of him, Breitkopf, Foyet, Baylor, and others. He had thought about killing them, but he knew he would never be able to do it in his own world. But, here? If he did stop, would he lose that last part of him and become fully Aaron’s. Sighing, he set the photo aside and stood.
“I, at least, need a break Charlie. I can’t keep doing this. And no matter what happens, even if I decide to start again and it works, how do I start over again?” Spencer didn’t wait for Charlie to answer, he just limped his way to his car and drove back to the place that had become home.
When Spencer arrived, he pulled into the garage and sat in the car, not looking around, not even trying to get out yet. His mind was in turmoil and the headache was pounding in his head. He knew if he told Aaron of his decision there would be anger and a fight. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. He felt raw, and emotionally drained. He knew what this was, it was the depression that he had been fighting for a while now. He knew if he gave in, it would take a long-time to crawl back out. Finally, swallowing hard, he grabbed his satchel and briefcase and exited the car. Cane in one hand, he limped to the door that connected garage to house, and silently made his way upstairs.
Putting his briefcase in his office, he then silently moved to the bedroom. As much as he wanted to see Jack, he wanted to be alone even more. Stepping inside the bedroom, he hung his satchel on it’s hook behind the door, changed his clothes into something comfortable and sat down on his side of the bed. He pulled out the album of pictures that he began collecting since finding himself trapped in this world.
Slowly turning the pages, most of the first ones were of Jack. At the park, the time they went to a local fair, the bookstore, weekends at a beach house. Little moments captured, and though they were all tucked into his memories, if he succeeded in the experiment, these would be lost to him. As he got closer to the middle, the pictures changed and it was the three of them. Aaron, Jack and himself. Closing his eyes as he closed the album, his heart ached in a way it had never before. Ending the experiments meant he would never get time with his Aaron and Jack. He would never make these memories, and there was a painful grief that started in his gut and cut through his whole body. He knew they weren’t dead, not in the true sense of the word, but they would be dead for him.
Spencer set the album inside the drawer, then took out the journals he had been keeping for his counterpart. He read through them, but took his time doing it. The changes to himself were there in stark reality. He documented it all, from the first time Aaron and he had sex, to just the night before when they had dinner with Tony to see how he was settling in. These too he closed and set back in the drawer. Feeling lost, he stood and walked to the long set of dressers and opened up the black walnut jewelry box Aaron had given him just before their trip to Atlantic City. He carefully lifted the lid and ghosted his fingers over the midnight blue velvet that lined the box.
Spencer touched the different collars sitting there. Each given to him at different times. Aaron liked giving them to him. And it was evident that it was a carryover from how he treated his own Spencer. Reaching behind his neck he unlocked the one he was wearing and switched it for the purple one from his first days in this world. He put in on and even set the locking mechanism himself. He looked up in the mirror attached to the dresser and frowned. He didn’t know why he no longer recognized who he was. Putting the other collar in the box Spencer turned, walked to the bed and grabbed the cuffs from the cubby and put them on. He then crawled under the sheets, curled up in a ball and fought against the tears.
He didn’t even stir when he heard someone come into the room, he knew it was Aaron, but he didn’t have the energy to acknowledge him. He knew he was giving in, giving up.
“Kitten?” Aaron asked and Spencer heard the concern in his voice, he just pulled in tighter to himself. He felt the bed dip and he fought against turning to the man, but in the end he did. When arms came around him and held him without questions, he sighed and let some of the tension he hadn’t realized he was holding in, go. In moments, he was fast asleep, tired from the emotions.
He wasn’t sure how long he slept, but as he opened his eyes he felt Aaron under him. He wasn’t alone and he hated that he had come to depend on that. That he liked waking up and not being alone in bed.
“Spencer, what happened? Why are you wearing this collar?” Aaron gripped the purple collar he was wearing.
“I told Charlie I want to stop the experiments.” He cast his eyes down and wouldn’t look Aaron in the face, but the tension now in the man’s body, he knew he was angry.
“Why?” The biting tone and the harder grip on the collar had Spencer scared for the first time in months.
“I can’t do it anymore Aaron. The hope, it’s starting to paralyze me. I can’t go in that lab thinking that it was going to be that day, that we’d break through and it would work and I’d go home and you get him back. I know my decision affects more than myself, it affects so many people, but it hurts and it just keeps hurting.” Spencer was on the verge of a panic attack and he knew it. He sat-up quickly and swung his legs so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head between his legs, he quelled the hyperventilating, but the shaking started and his head was pounding.
He barely registered Aaron coming around the bed and sitting in front of him. Slowly the cuffs were being taken off him, which he tried to protest, but one look from his lover stopped him.
“I know this is hard, I know you feel like you’re failing, but you can’t give-up Spencer. You need to keep going, keep trying.”
Spencer looked at Aaron, there was pain and anger flashing through them as he glared, hard at the man.
“Don’t you get it? This is killing me. I know I fucked-up, I know I did this, but it could be months, maybe even years to figure it out. I can’t do this for years. I just can’t.”
Aaron stood and glared down at Spencer the hard look on his face did nothing to quell the fear he felt.
“You will continue, you fucked it up, and that was our agreement. That you would fix this goddamit.”
Spencer surged off the bed and stared Aaron down, even through the fear coursing through him.
“I don’t know how!” Spencer shouted. He had never shouted at Aaron, the closest he ever came was when he yelled at him for Owen Savage.
A hand shot out and gripped his hair, hard. Harder than ever before. Aaron’s eye hardened and Spencer saw the psychopath within. He knew Aaron wouldn’t kill him, he knew he wouldn’t be raped, but it didn’t mean that Aaron wouldn’t punish him in some way.
“Then you figure it out. Do we understand each other?”
Spencer closed his eyes and tried to stop the tears that formed, his breathing became shallow as he could no longer hide the fear inside him.
“Sir, please, I…I can’t.” Spencer didn’t know what else to say, but he knew that was the very wrong thing as Aaron jerked him by his hair with one hand, pushing him down on the bed. Spencer knew he couldn’t run, he wouldn’t get very far, and when Aaron stalked over to the cabinet to grab a few things Spencer was shaking.
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“Aaron, S-Sir, wh-what are you going to do?”
“You need a few days to think about this.” The look on Aaron’s face had Spencer trying to scramble away, but his ankle was caught in an iron grip as cuffs were then attached. Aaron then straddled his waist, Spencer tried to buck him off, but Aaron’s heftier frame and how he was pinned down on the bed gave him no leverage. The cock cage that was snapped around him had him screaming. His hands pinned above his head as Aaron loomed over him.
“This will all go away, all you have to do is agree to continue. I will NOT let my Pet be stranded in your world and you need to fix it.”
Tears spilled as he looked pleadingly up at Aaron. “I can’t. I can’t fix it, don’t you get it? Nothing is working, nothing. Please Aaron, please.” Spencer pleaded, but he knew he wasn’t getting through. Aaron stood and he was jerked to his feet. Cuffs were around his wrists, but he didn’t remember when they were put there. Spencer felt empty, as Aaron dressed him in loose pants, but no shirt. A leash attached to his collar and he was being pulled along. He had no idea what was going to happen or what punishment Aaron had in store, but it couldn’t be worse than his own self-punishment.
When they got to the basement, Spencer knew where they were going and his heart was pounding in fear as they walked inside to the cells down there. Spencer had not paid much attention to what else was down there other than Gideon.
“A few days down here, isolated, just might make you change your mind.” The door at the end of the small hallway had gone unnoticed by Spencer, but now that he saw it, he started to back away, fear spiking sharply inside him. Aaron punched a code into the keypad to the side of the door. The leash jerked and he almost fell, but Aaron pulled him roughly and pushed him inside.
“Please, Aaron, please don’t do this.”
“Have you changed your mind Kitten?”
“Aaron,” Spencer pleaded as he sank to his knees in Aaron’s favorite position. “This isn’t easy for me, please don’t do this.”
He heard chains. Then Aaron ordered him onto the single bed in the room.
“I only punished my Pet like this once. He learned, right away, I’m hoping you will too.” The chains snapped around the cuffs and the slack tightened. The leash was attached to a ring on the wall. He couldn’t move, even an inch. The hard, dangerous glare Aaron was giving him reminded him just what kind of man he was dealing with. He had grown complacent, and trusting. Now, he was scared like he hadn’t been for a long-time.
“Aaron I beg you, don’t do this, please don’t.”
“I’m giving you a couple of days to think about this. This isn’t only about you Spencer, once you get that, I’ll let you out.” Aaron turned on his heels and walked out of the room, Spencer shouting after him. Once he closed the door, he could no longer hear him, the room was sound proofed. Aaron walked away, his heart breaking in more ways than one, but he wouldn’t show it, he wouldn’t let anyone see the cracks, and by the time he got back upstairs he hardened his heart and wasn’t going to give in.
Spencer heard the door click shut and struggled against the chains, he shouted at Aaron but deep down knew the man couldn’t hear him, then the despair at being left alone, chained up, his cock wrapped in a punishment cage, he raged. He raged against Aaron, against how he had changed, against the whole fucked-up situation. He raged till he was hoarse, then kept going. He gave up on struggling to get out, he knew it was useless. His body and his mind were exhausted as he laid there staring at the ceiling. He didn’t even want to speculate on what his counterpart could have done to get him locked-up like this, and truthfully he didn’t care.
His eyes started to droop as he fought against the sleep that wanted to overtake him, but in the end he couldn’t help it, and fell into an uneasy sleep.
“Where’s the kid?” Dave walked into Aaron’s office and sat in one of the club chairs after helping himself to a glass of whiskey.
“In a time out.” Aaron glared.
“Hmm, what did he do Aaron? Not live up to your too high expectations?” Dave sipped as he crossed his legs and glared right back.
“He wants to end the experiments. I told him he couldn’t.”
“I see, so this is all about you and what you want, right?’
Aaron narrowed his eyes as he turned fully to look at Dave.
“And what the hell does that mean?”
“You’ve been trying to shape that young man into your Spencer, and he is so far gone in love with you that he let it happen. Yet, you seem to have forgotten one thing.”
“And what is that?” The hard tone in Aaron’s voice would have any other person backing off, but Dave wasn’t any other person. He practically raised the boy that became the man sitting in front of him, and felt a pang of responsibility. His love for Aaron had blinded him to the truth of him, and he wondered, not for the first time, if Gideon had been right.
“That you let Spencer have an opinion, you let him voice his wants and needs. You never wanted a slave. You helped him through his fears, and his pain, and most important you forced him to deal with his pain. This punishing this Spencer? That is purely about you and the fact you have not dealt with losing your Spencer. It’s been almost six months Aaron, you are allowed to grieve.”
Aaron looked down into the glass he was gripping, his knuckles almost white. He hated that Dave was right. In trying to re-shape Spencer into his pet he hadn’t let himself grieve. He had hope that Charlie and Spencer would succeed. He took a deep breath and realized that what he was really feeling was anger. He was angry this whole thing had happened, and he had not come to terms with the possibility that his love was lost to him, forever.
“Don’t take your grief and anger out on the one person that could fix this. You break his trust now? Aaron he won’t even want to try. Talk to him, compromise. Let him have a couple of weeks to rest because I can assure you that what you may be feeling, the kid is feeling ten times worse.” Dave stood and left the room leaving Aaron alone with his thoughts.
He set his glass down and called the one person that could talk him down from the ledge he was now teetering on. Dave was right, if he broke Spencer’s trust, why would he want to even try the experiments again? He had just as strong as a spiteful streak as his Spencer, and that spite turned on him he didn’t think he wanted to experience it. Taking a deep breath he picked up his phone and dialed the number by heart.
“Jax, I…” The confession was hard because he never asked for help. “Help me Jax, I think I fucked-up.”
Spencer didn’t know how long he slept, but the sound of the door opening woke him. He warily watched as Aaron moved around the room, undoing the restraints, then pulled his pants down just enough to take off the cock cage. He was being lifted off the bed, and half carried back upstairs. His mind was trying to process what was happening now, but he was so mixed-up he just couldn’t. Aaron led him into the bathroom where a hot bath was waiting. He tried to pull away as some of those old insecurities welled up, and he tried to curl into himself.
Aaron sighed as he lowered them into the bath. He hadn’t said a word yet, and it was scaring Spencer.
“You didn’t deserve what I did. Jackson called me a few names, and Dave, well you can imagine what he said to me.”
Spencer moved to the opposite end of the bathtub, pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He glared at Aaron as he tried to think.
“Then why did you do it?”
Aaron didn’t try to reach for Spencer, he let him have his space.
“As much as I want you to be him, you aren’t. You have given me your submission freely, and you’ve slotted yourself in my world surprisingly easy and…” Aaron looked to the side. This show of vulnerability was freaking Spencer out a little. He had gotten used to the hard, demanding Aaron. The one that could tip over to outright evil, but hadn’t…yet. He had to admit, with Foyet now out of the way he wondered how far Aaron would go.
“I could forget for a while that you are my Spencer. Shaping you, pushing you, it was all to make you like him. I haven’t let myself accept that you are different. As Dave pointed out to me, I haven’t grieved his loss. I wanted to assume that your experiment would work, and I didn’t give a fuck at the toll it took on you because, well, it is your fault.”
Spencer turned away and laid his head on his legs and sighed. The guilt and pain of what happened flared up, but he kept a tight leash on his emotions.
“It is my fault. You don’t know how sorry I am Aaron. I’m tired, I am. Every failure is painful. I feel myself losing my Aaron and my old life more and more. Then, I think about what happens if I succeed? I’ve changed. Here, I have everything, there I only have my work and my mother. I don’t have a home, not really. So, I go back and I lose again.”
“A compromise then. Take two weeks, rest, then try again. Not just for me Spencer, but for all of us that are affected by this.”
Spencer uncurled and moved over to Aaron. He sat in his lap and laid his head against his shoulder.
“And if it doesn’t work? If Charlie and I try again, how much longer? How much longer do I have to keep going?”
Aaron wrapped his arms around Spencer and laid his head against his head.
“We’ll talk time limit, breaks, and when we both know to concede.”
Closing his eyes, Spencer nodded. He could agree to that, while he reconciled himself to the fact he may never get back home.
Spencer missed his own world for a million reasons, but there was one big reason other than he was missing his Aaron and his Jack. He really wanted to be able to take Erin Strauss and paralyze her before sticking her in a bathtub that was slowly filled with acid, watching her die slowly while she could do nothing about it. His revenge wouldn’t be that though.
After Strauss had been fired from the FBI, Spencer had done a lot more research into the way the past had gone in this world, and found that Alex Blake and a man named John Curtis had been blamed for a failure that hadn’t been their own. Strauss had blamed them to save her own ass, and Curtis had been watching both Strauss and Blake. Curtis was smart, close to Spencer’s level but nowhere near smart enough to be able to beat him.
The MPD spent a week trying to find the animal that had poisoned Strauss’s three kids. The B Team for the BAU was even dispatched to help. The A Team came back just a day after the B Team had been called onto that case. Aaron kept them as far away from it as possible, including taking a case in Washington state to get them away. Spencer devoted every single brain cell that he could to get the case done as soon as possible. It still took five days. The day that the A Team arrived back in DC, Strauss’ ex-husband was found dead in his bathroom from the exact same poison. Poison was, for the most part, a woman’s method of killing and with Strauss drinking it was made clear that she had no way of killing any of them, even though the evidence was leading there, so the B Team started to look outward.
Strauss was put under watch and everyone waited. The end game was profiled as the UnSub killing her or taunting her in her misery. Even with her disgrace at leaving the FBI, the B Team had been doing it’s best to find the person who had killed four innocent people to get back at her. Every single person in her past that she had ever wronged was looked into. With the kid’s death, even Spencer and the rest of the A Team was looked into, but since the ex-husband had been killed before they’d got back from Washington state, eyes turned elsewhere within the FBI. It took two days for eyes to turn to Alex Blake and John Curtis. Alex, though, was visiting James in Cape Town, Africa for both deaths, and was still out of the country while John Curtis had purchased the exact poison online. The vial found in his house was missing the exact amount that had been estimated to be used in the death of the kids and ex-husband. The amount of photos of Strauss, Alex, and even the A Team of the BAU that Curtis had in his possession meant that it wasn’t hard to figure out that he had ill will for all of them.
John Curtis went out in a blaze of glory after being tracked to a farm house that he was seemingly setting up for some kind of crazy death plot. It was all tied up in a neat little bow. Curtis was blamed for four deaths that were all on Spencer’s hands, and there was just one more, but it needed time to settle and worsen before he even stepped into it.
Spencer focused on Aaron after Curtis because his lover wasn’t telling him everything, and he knew it. There was something that he was holding back, and Spencer aimed to get it out of him. It wasn’t just affecting Aaron and him as Jack also knew that something was wrong.
“Aaron, we have to talk,” Spencer said as he entered Aaron’s apartment. It was after Jack’s bedtime, and while they did not sleep in the same bed every single night, it was rare for them not to. Spencer had gone over to his apartment to set a load of clothes to wash. Spencer stopped at the sight of a bottle of bourbon on the table in front of Aaron. “Aaron?”
“I haven’t touched it.” Aaron sounded shocked that Spencer was there.
“Okay?” Spencer asked. He stayed on the far side of the room as he really didn’t understand what he meant, and when Spencer was unsure, he never got close. That was something that even years with his Aaron hadn’t forced out of him, unknown meant that he could be hurt. The thing was that it was never an unknown situation in his world. It was always known.
“Since that night that I found out exactly who you are and you let me…” Aaron trailed off and leaned back on the couch. He looked at Spencer. “You changed me. I don’t seek the drink here at home. I never feel the want of it. Oh, I’ll drink with Dave on the jet on the way home, and when I’m at a bar after a case with the team, but here I don’t. Why?”
Spencer smirked as he moved over towards Aaron. He kicked his shoes off and let them rest on the mat where shoes went. When he got near touching distance, Aaron’s legs fell open and Spencer slid into his lap. Aaron’s hands curled on his waist, pulling him those last few inches in.
“The alcohol used to help you process. You rarely drink enough to even become tipsy, but it let your mind wander. You would sleep just a little bit better and your brain would purge at night but now instead of that you…” Spencer slipped his hands to Aaron’s shoulders and trailed down his chest, resting over Aaron’s cock when he was done. “You purge in me. You work through all of your emotions in a much healthier way. You fuck my brains out, and you are better for it. I also make you talk it all out. Just like you are going to talk out exactly what is wrong with you. I know that something has been off, but I thought that first it was dealing with Strauss being thrown out, but that’s not it. There is something else going on here. So what is it?”
“All of the team leads got together. Including Jack Garrett, who has been out of town for a month and a half chasing a group through India. They are really shaken with what happened with Strauss, and how she tried to basically fire you. If you can be fired for nothing, what the hell would she have done with the others? There are two names at the current that are being tossed in and Garrett’s team is too rocky at the moment for him to step away and put another person in his place.”
“You.” Spencer had wondered if Aaron’s name was going to come up in the running. If it did, Spencer would put forth Alex as a replacement, not as Unit Chief but as a regular agent. She deserved to come back into the fold now that the whole truth was out there.
“Yes and my gut reaction is to say yes.”
“Wow.” Spencer was shocked. He didn’t think that Aaron would have said that. Spencer looked at him, just stared at him as he ticked through it all in his head. Before he could figure it out the whole way, Aaron started to speak.
“I don’t feel that need to be out there like I have in the past. I might be able to do just as much good a little higher on the food chain. Protecting all of you, and making sure that you all have what you need. I thought that a desk job would kill me before, but now I don’t know.”
“You shouldn’t make a rash decision.”
“It’s not a rash decision. I’ve known for weeks. That’s why I stayed behind at the committee meeting. They approached me afterwards. A week and a half ago was the first time that the SACs have been able to meet. I almost said yes that day. My first thought was that I needed to talk with you, but I wanted to know my whole mind before I did. Finding out that you are not my Spencer kind of shook me down to my soul, but I have gotten over that. If I had been in this place before now, I could have stopped Strauss from trying to take Spencer’s job from him as a way to hurt me. That’s the entire reason. She didn’t know that we were intimate, and she still knew to use you, him, to get to me.”
“I think that I would have been used to get to anyone on the team. Your Spencer is the little baby of the team. The soft spot that all of you have. When he comes back, he’s not going to allow that anymore. I barely tolerate it, especially some of the things that Morgan does.”
“Maybe you can not hold back as much anymore. So that the change isn’t so sudden.” Aaron’s hands worked themselves under Spencer’s shirt, just touching, grounding himself. “Are you tired?”
“I’m not overly tired, but if you are we can go to bed. I’m sure that I’ll fall asleep not long after you.” Spencer knew that he wouldn’t last long once he was cuffed in the bed with Aaron wrapped around him. He leaned down and took Aaron’s mouth in a sensual kiss.
“I feel dirty so I need to shower. I was wondering if you wanted to join me.”
“Go strip and get the water started,” Spencer said as he slid backwards off of Aaron’s lap. He watched as Aaron moved towards the back of the apartment before he slipped out the front door. He grabbed his cell phone and made sure that the washer was done before he set the alarm and locked up. He would slip over in the morning to change for work. Once back in Aaron’s apartment, he locked that door and set the alarm. He checked on Jack and found him sleeping peacefully. Spencer watched him breathe but stopped himself from going over and brushing the fringe of his hair away from his eyes. His Jack was used to it and it never woke him up, but when he did it to this Jack, it always woke the boy up.
Aaron wasn’t just standing in the bathroom, he was standing under the water, letting it rush over his head and beat on his shoulders. There was so much on his shoulders and there wasn’t a lot that Spencer could do to take it all away. They weren’t partners, not like he and his Aaron. He couldn’t take away his work and fix it all. There was a reason that Spencer was still just his Aaron’s law assistant. It wasn’t because he wasn’t smart enough to be a lawyer, he had his law degree, and had on occasion done small cases in family court for the firm, but he wanted to be everything that his Aaron needed, and he didn’t need another lawyer. He needed Spencer exactly as he was, able to be whatever he needed him to be.
Spencer grabbed a washrag and stripped naked. Aaron tensed when the door was opened, but he didn’t do anything else.
“Let me take care of you,” Spencer whispered as he wet the rag and started to just rub it on Aaron’s shoulders. The older man relaxed and just gave in to the pampering that Spencer started to give him. By the time that the entire shower ritual was done, Aaron’s eyes were barely able to stay open. Spencer dried himself off before he dried off Aaron. He’d come back and finish drying his hair after he had his lover under the covers.
Aaron’s eyes were closed in sleep before his head was even fully sunk into the pillow. Spencer watched him breathe for a few minutes before he moved to finish drying off and setting the bathroom to rights. Spencer looked at himself in the mirror. He expected to see a different man standing there looking at him. But it was just his normal face. He looked no different than he had when he had come to the world nearly five months before. Surely it should have marked him in some way?
The switch had marked Aaron, and it wasn’t known whether it was a good thing or a bad, only time would tell. He was sure that the other Spencer was changed and those changes were for the best. Spencer Reid wasn’t weak, no matter what world he lived in. It was time this world knew that.
Erin Strauss hadn’t gone back to the house that she had been living in post divorce from her husband. Her kids had visited there, and there was evidence everywhere of them and it hurt. Spencer knew that going into it all. He had known that he would have to track her down. It wasn’t hard. She had her favored store to buy alcohol from and would stick close. So, the motel that he eventually found her at that was less than half a block from her store, wasn’t that much of a shock. The other thing that didn’t shock him was the broken security cameras.
Spencer watched Strauss as she stumbled back to her motel room, and didn’t even latch the door as she tried to open the new bottle of vodka. Using the shadows, Spencer crept even closer, watching as she tried to pour the new alcohol into a large glass. Several ounces splashed outside of the cup before she deemed it full enough to drink. The bottle was slammed down onto the desk before she grabbed the glass and moved over to the bed.
Inside the room Spencer slipped in, not even worrying about shutting the door all the way either. He left it closed enough to where barely any light was coming out from the crack. For five minutes Spencer stood there waiting for the woman to figure out that he was there.
“YOU!” Strauss yelled using her glass to point at him. The vodka splashed out the top and ran down her hand. She smelled like she hadn’t bathed in days and Spencer figured that she hadn’t. Strauss lurched to her feet and Spencer took a step back as she clawed out at him. Her hand didn’t even come close to him. He kept his mouth shut as he knew that she had a neighbor on each side. “GET OUT!”
“KEEP IT DOWN!” The neighbor on the left side screamed and then beat on the wall. Strauss turned and looked at the wall for thirty seconds as if she could glare the person on the other side in submission. When she turned back, Spencer had taken a seat on the top of the small dresser, ten feet away from her. She looked confused as he wasn’t where he had been when she had last looked at him. Spencer pulled his black leather gloves from his pocket and slipped them on over the top of his nitrile gloves. Strauss looked at him, her brain wasn’t functioning anywhere near where it should have been.
“Get out,” Strauss said forcefully.
Spencer picked up the picture frame that was on the desk, it was from years before when the Strauss’s had been a happy family. Smiling mother and father, and three happy faces stared back at him. He took the picture frame and set it back down as Strauss lurched at him. She took two steps before Spencer shoved the frame off the dresser and it fell to the floor and broke. The glass shattered. Strauss dropped her glass of vodka and reached out to try and dig through the glass and pick up the picture. Spencer listened as the glass cut her and she hissed in pain but it didn’t stop her from doing it. Strauss started to sob as she clutched picture in her bloody hands. She fell backwards to her butt and started to sob even harder.
“Leave me to my misery,” Strauss slurred as she pulled the picture away to stare at it.
Spencer smiled at her and from his other back pocket he pulled a single serving bottle of whisky out. He cracked the lid and handed it over. She looked at it in shock, but she downed the liquid inside. He handed over the receipt as well and didn’t even react when she tore it from his hands. Getting her prints all over it. He’d talked a woman off the streets to buy it and the few bottles of vodka a few days before from another store two blocks away. The woman had the same build as Strauss, and he used a car seat that he had bought from a thrift store, and then dropped at a local women’s shelter afterwards. He had used the ruse that he had a baby asleep in the car, and needed to get vodka for a party that his wife was holding, and had forgot, and he really needed it. The woman had been more than happy to get it, and a small bottle of whatever whisky was close to the register so that he could calm his nerves after getting home. Spencer doubted that anyone cared where she got the vodka that was going to kill her, but just in case.
“Why are you here? Haven’t you done enough?” Strauss started to sob again and Spencer just waited. The bottle of whisky had been laced with another sleeping drug that the vodka would erase all trace of. She passed out and when she feel backwards, her head cracked off the edge of the bed frame. Blood started to seep out. Spencer rolled her head to where it was laying back and he opened her mouth. He stripped off the leather gloves. He had thought that it would take longer to get her to take the whisky but it hadn’t. He probably could have left her and she would have killed herself in little time at all, but where was the fun in that? He wanted to watch her die. He wanted to see her suffering.
Spencer grabbed the bottle of vodka, and found her stash of two more. The drug would only keep her a asleep for about ten minutes. Spencer coaxed her throat into swallowing each mouthful of liquid as he poured. He dropped the first bottle down to the floor and when he opened the second he made sure to splash it all over herself before he forced her to drink the rest. He dropped that second bottle to the floor and moved back to sit on the low dresser.
Strauss started to wake up and her body was sluggish and slow. Spencer slipped the leather gloves back on and unwrapped the collar from around his wrist. Strauss looked around the room and groaned before she tried to sit up. She brushed at the sticky, wet blood that was slowly trickling down her face. She frowned at it as she looked at her fingers. Looking around, she grabbed another bottle of Vodka and stumbled her way to the bathroom. Spencer followed behind and when she looked at him in the mirror, her eyes widened in fear, but when she turned to look at him with her own eyes, he ducked behind the door. He watched her shake her head as she took a long drink of the vodka. When she turned back to the glass, there he was again. She sobbed.
“Why do you have to torture me?” Strauss picked up an empty bottle of what looked like rum and threw it at the mirror in front of her. It shattered and she sobbed. Spencer stepped up behind her and carefully picked up a piece of glass. It was just big enough to do what he wanted her to do.
“You know what to do, Erin. Don’t you want to be with them?” Spencer whispered in her ear. “Don’t you want to see their smiling faces again?”
Strauss looked at the glass in his hand and picked it up from his palm. She looked down at it and then at her wrist.
“No, you don’t want to cut yourself there. Someone could save you. Come into the bedroom.” Spencer laid a soft hand on her shoulder and directed her out to the bed. She sat down on the end of it and Spencer crawled in behind her. She was wearing a skirt and it would be so good. He grabbed the edge and pulled it up, revealing her underwear, he was shocked to see that she was even wearing any, much less that they were red lace.
“How do I do this?” Strauss asked. Her voice was overly loud and Spencer was sure that at least one of the neighbors would hear her. He didn’t verbally answer her. Instead, he gently cupped her hand with his and directed it down to her leg, right where her femoral artery was. With the amount of alcohol in her system, she’d never be saved. He wasn’t even sure that he’d be able to save her being in the room with her. He used her hand to trace the line where she would need to cut. “There?”
Spencer leaned forward just a little more. He placed his lips right at her ear. “Yes. Right there. One good cut and you’ll be with them again. You’ll get to hold your babies in your arms, and kiss your husband.” His other hand ghosted over over the flesh of her opposite thigh before tracking the edge of her underwear. He then cupped the mound of her sex, she moaned. “You’ll feel him inside of you again. You’ll find ecstasy as he loses himself in your body. As he fills your sex with his seed.”
Strauss moaned and Spencer jerked his hand back just in time for her to slice her own skin open. He made his way off of the bed and stopped at the door. She was slumped back on the bed, bleeding out but her eyes were blissed out. Spencer left the door slightly ajar as he left. It was open enough that human curiosity would take over as they passed by and saw the dead body on the bed with blood over it’s legs.
Spencer walked a few blocks before he hailed a cab and made his way home. He let himself into Aaron’s apartment and found the man still dead asleep in bed where he’d left him. Spencer laid down and Aaron woke up enough to wrap himself around him as Spencer hooked the cuffs around his wrists. He drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face.
Spencer was dressed to impress, but it wasn’t to impress the team or even anyone else that they worked with. He wasn’t even dressing to impress Aaron. He was dressing to impress everyone else that was going to be at the club. He’d found a perfect shop for the clothing that he was wearing. The dark purple leather pants were skin tight. Instead of wearing a harness like he normally would in his world, he was wearing a mesh shirt. A dark purple, thick collar was around his neck, Aaron had affixed it and locked it before he’d gone to start getting ready. Spencer had taken Aaron shopping for the suit weeks before, getting the cut just right. He needed him dressed to impress as well to make every other Sub in the club fantasize about him. To feel jealous that Spencer had snagged him.
Hands settled on hips and Spencer looked up into Aaron’s eyes in the mirror he was standing in front of.
“I don’t want to let you out of here. You look like sex walking. You can’t go out like that.”
“Don’t worry. I have one more thing to add.” Spencer reached over into the bag on the chair beside the mirror. He pulled out the leather jacket he had bought. He slipped it on and kept Aaron’s eyes on his own as he watched the older man watch him zip it up. It covered up his collar so that no one could see it unless he wanted them to. Aaron leaned down and inhaled the smell of him. Spencer had found a soap at a local health store that had a spiciness to it that he knew would work well with the leather.
“I want to fuck you.”
“After we get back from the club.”
“Not there?” Aaron asked, his breath ghosting over Spencer’s neck.
“No. I’m not saying you won’t have an orgasm, but you won’t be inside of me when you do. I don’t do sex in clubs like this.”
“So you are going to tease me?”
“No, you are going to learn.”
“Learn?” Aaron asked.
“We aren’t going to a normal club, Aaron. We are going to a BDSM club. I purchased a membership to the club for myself and you.” Spencer had spent a lot of time looking around. It hadn’t been a shock that he had found a place that was close to Aaron and Jackson’s club in Atlantic City for him to let loose in. It was a good club with above standards to protect the Subs that came into it uncollared, and with no contract with a Dom or a Switch. It would be a wonderful place for Aaron to learn his new found understanding of his dynamic, and for the other Spencer to find what he needed while Aaron learned. A place for someone to teach Aaron what he needed to learn.
“A sex club?”
“No. It’s not a sex club. No sex happens within the club itself. There top five floors are hotel rooms and suites. They hold two separate business licenses. They can’t control what the people who rent the rooms do. It’s all perfectly legal, Aaron. I would never do anything that would jeopardize your career or Spencer’s.” Spencer turned around and kissed Aaron. The man cupped the back of his head, holding him right where he wanted him as he claimed his mouth.
“Am I driving?”
“No. We will take a cab there and back. I have a private company set to pick us up in ten minutes and when I text them they will be at the club in under a half an hour.”
“And what happens if…” Aaron closed his eyes as he bussed his lips over Spencer’s forehead.
“If what?” Spencer asked.
“We don’t exactly have a good history with clubs like that.”
“No, you don’t have a good history with clubs that play at what this one is. Even if you are holding my leash, if I safeword out, one of the security will rip you away from me and protect me. As soon as I walk in that door, my safeword become a hot word for them. They listen. Most of the clients there use the stop lights. If the word red is used in the club itself the guard evaluates if it was used in conversation or fear. Generally, it’s screamed. I’m safer in that club than I am here in this apartment. There are panic buttons in the rooms, and speakers that turn on when a noise goes above a certain decibel. Again a decision is made to intervene or not. It’s the best club for this outside of New York City in this world.”
“Leash. You said leash.”
“Yes, it’s right here.” Spencer unclipped it from his belt loop where he had hung it after putting on his pants. He held it up and handed it over to Aaron. Aaron took it from him almost by rote and held it up. He took the clip and attached it to the ring at the front. His eyes were stormy though with warring emotions.
“No. It’s protection. It’s a bigger claim than my collar. No one will touch me while I wear it. I wear a collar because I like it. Yes, it’s a visual representation of my Aaron’s claim on me, but anyone can buy a collar. I’ve bought several in my time here. The leash, though, means I’m protected. No Dom will touch me.”
“He’s wearing a collar right now isn’t he?”
“He’s been since the moment Aaron woke up. I wear mine with pride. They are never covered up, and I have so many of them. Most are purple, but I have several other colors as well. If he were to go out without it, the media would have a frenzy. It could spell both of their deaths. So yes. He is wearing one.”
“Tomorrow, we are going shopping.”
“I’m wearing the collars I bought. I won’t wear yours, Aaron. I can’t.”
“Then you can help me pick one out for him.”
“We can do that. Now let’s go so the cab won’t wait long.”
Aaron nodded and finished getting ready. He was pocketing his wallet and grabbing his keys. Spencer watched him as he silently freaked out. This was outside of his comfort zone. He needed to know it though. He needed to understand what he was going to be getting back. What exactly his Spencer was going to need. Spencer just hoped that he’d have enough time.
The cab ride was silent, Spencer was tucked into Aaron’s side with a smile on his face. His blood was already pumping. It wouldn’t take much to get him hard. The leather pants were perfect for that. Tight enough to be a cock cage on their own. Aaron’s eyes stayed ahead and Spencer hoped he didn’t freak out. He needed this, he knew that. At home, he had Jack, Aaron, his classes, his work, and just everything else to focus on. Here he was adrift. He knew he had been too long without his Aaron reining him in. He needed taken down, mentally.
“I never…” Aaron trailed off as the car stopped. Aaron got out first and held his hand out for Spencer. The guard at the door was dressed in an Armani suit. He looked at Spencer and smiled before opening the door for them. Aaron was looking the place over. He didn’t speak until they were in the hallway leading back to the main part of the club. A pretty little Switch was there to take their coats. Aaron reluctantly took his suit jacket off while Spencer unzipped his leather jacket. She took them with a smile.
“Have a fantastic night, Doctor Reid, Agent Hotchner.”
“Thank you, Emilie,” Spencer said to her.
“How did she know us?”
“Everyone on staff has to know all paying members by name. Our occupations were also necessary as well as method of address. If you don’t want Agent Hotchner as the method, all you have to do is say so. We will be stopping by the office where you can sign the NDA for the club. I’ve read and signed mine, but you can read and sign yours. I called ahead for a light dinner and wine.”
“This is all so much. Just give me a chance to take it all in.”
“The only thing that will get you in trouble here is touching. Watch to your heart’s content because that’s what most of them are here for. To be on display.” Spencer tucked himself into Aaron’s side as they made their way up a set of stairs to the office. The Dom who greeted them at the door had a smile on his face.
“Doctor Reid, happy to see you back already. This is your Agent Hotchner?” Spencer shivered at the Welsh accent the man had.
“This is. Aaron, this is Broderick. He and his wife Carlie own the Club along with their third.”
“Yes. We are happy to have you here, Hotch,” a female voice called out. Spencer smiled at Carlie’s voice before stepping into the office. Aaron though was stationary. Spencer looked back at him. There was shock all over his face.
“Carlie Rees,” Aaron said as he found his voice and started into the room.
“You should have seen the shock on my face when I got Doctor Reid’s application. I never took you for this lifestyle.” Carlie was sitting on the desk and in the chair behind was another male. Spencer took him for a Switch right away. He was comfortable in the office, so it had to be the third in the relationship. The door behind them shut and Broderick moved around to stand behind the chair.
“I assume that this is your third?” Spencer asked.
“Trevor Duncan.” The man didn’t offer his hand. “Car told me that we were going to have a newbie come in. She also told me that I was going to be helping.” Trevor looked Spencer up and down and then looked at Aaron. “I can see why you wanted a Switch.”
“Yes, well Aaron is new to all this, but I’m well versed. I don’t do public exhibitions. I want him to see me though.”
“How long have you been together?” Trevor asked.
Spencer didn’t answer, he just stared at the man. Trevor smiled a wolfish grin before he stood up. He kissed Broderick’s cheek and Carlie’s mouth as he passed them both.
“I’ll be dancing so come and find me when you are ready. I look forward to making you scream.”
“Spencer?” Aaron asked.
“Later he’s going to take a flogger to me, while you watch. I trust him as he has a lot to lose if he messes up, and I’ve seen him with Carlie.”
Aaron said nothing but Spencer didn’t need him to. His eyes, lust blown with only the thought of what was to come was all he needed.
“Hotch, come and we shall go over all the paperwork.”
Spencer moved to a loveseat on the edge of the room and tuned out the legal speak of Carlie and Aaron. He looked through emails on his phone and read a few articles that had been published online. He felt Broderick’s eyes on him after a while and looked up.
“Where is your Dom?”
“I knew that neither of you were idiots. He’s gone from my grasp. I love Aaron, and I didn’t force him into this. I kept my dynamic hidden and it was an accident. He’s eager, but scared of himself. I want him to see what I get from another who isn’t afraid of giving me what I want. What I need. Only then will he stop being afraid of himself.”
“You certainly dressed him to impress. And you are a wet dream for every single Dom and Switch in this place. Your Dom was damned good at one thing. It’s very evident in every single line of your body that you only submit to one person, and that’s who you are with. I probably couldn’t even get you to duck your eyes away from me could I?”
“No. My Dom was of the mind that my submission was his and his alone. He would egg me into taking the heads off of people who thought that because they were higher than me that they could force me to do what they wanted. I have verbally castrated many men, and women who thought they could force my submission.”
“Your former Dom had to have been a strong man.”
“None stronger.” Spencer looked at Aaron who was handing the packet back to Carlie. “Ready, Aaron?”
Spencer stood up and met with him right at the door. He heard Broderick talking to Carlie.
“Make sure that Jimmy is on the floor tonight. He’ll love breaking up the fight I know is coming when someone tries to get him to do anything.”
“Yes. Hotch found himself a wildcat and he’s so in love he doesn’t realize what he’s going to have to do to keep others off of him.”
“Hotch will surprise you.”
Spencer escorted Aaron out into the main area of the club and watched as the man took it all in. Spencer loved the club. It was understated and elegant with the decor that showed what it really was that was woven into the theme of it all. He found the table with their name, and pushed Aaron into sitting down before he sat in his lap. Spencer sat with his back to the wall, and his face out into the whole of the area.
Aaron took it all in with his profiler eyes and brain. While he did, one of his hands wrapped around Spencer’s outside hip while the other came to rest on his thigh. The singer for the night was about to take the stage. Spencer hadn’t even paid attention to the name of the woman or the band she was normally a part of. As she started to sing, Spencer closed his eyes. She had a good voice.
“Do you like this band that she is a part of?” Aaron asked, his voice a whisper in Spencer’s ear.
“Delta Rae I don’t think exists in my world. But this Elizabeth does have a very nice voice. So you said that you and the Director were going to talk today. We were busy with Jack I forgot to ask.”
“We had a lovely chat about a lot of things. Many I don’t want to bring up here, but the main thing was that I may have used me accepting the position of Section Chief as a bribe.”
“What?” Spencer turned in Aaron’s lap and looked at him.
“You’ve taught me that to get what I want I have to actually do something about it. I went into that office with two options, retirement or Section Chief.”
“And are you jobless?”
“No. Starting in two weeks, I’m Section Chief. The announcement is going to happen the day I take over. In that time I’m going to work on finding a replacement for me.”
“Alex Blake,” Spencer offered before Aaron had even stopped talking.
“She’s at the top of my list. There is one other thing though. The only requirement that I had was the stipulation that would have had me retire.”
“Before I even opened my mouth, Morgan was listed as my replacement. We all know that Dave doesn’t want it. And you were named as Lead profiler. Dave is going to stay as ASAC. I had nothing to do with any of that.”
“Quit beating around the bush.”
“Our relationship is on file. Dave is going to continue to do your evaluations as the Director is a little afraid of how Morgan is going to take it all. We don’t have to reveal ourselves to the team but I want to, when I get my Spencer back.”
“You went in and told him that you’d only take the job if you were allowed to continue fucking me?”
“I didn’t use those terms, but yes.” Aaron smiled as he nuzzled at Spencer’s neck for a moment. “It took hours. He went over every single case for three years and found no instance where I put the job on the line for you or him. He did say that he had noticed that you had grown a lot more confident and a better profiler. He made the comment that he was shocked that something like this hadn’t happened before. With the divorce and separation rate as high as it is for the BAU. Jack Garrett is the aberration in it all. There are protocols in place.” Aaron’s eyes swept away from Spencer and he looked around. The club was filling up now that it was getting later. Many of the newer arrivals were very evident in their dynamic. Aaron though screamed Dom, there were as many eyes on him as there were on Spencer, from all dynamics.
“Are you thirsty?” Spencer asked as he ducked his head down for a kiss. Aaron’s hand tightened on his thigh and he followed the pull of it, pressing closer.
“What do you recommend?”
“The selection of virgin drinks here is second to none. So why don’t I surprise you?” Spencer leaned in a little farther, nosing the side of Aaron’s neck. Aaron grabbed the ring where the leash clipped and held him there.
“If I don’t like it, I’m going to be very put out.”
“I’m never wrong, Sir.” Spencer slid off of Aaron’s lap and walked right towards the bar. The room was massive with the wall on one side made up of tables like he and Aaron were at while the other was all dance floor. There were high top tables with stools closer to the dance floor and lower tables farther away for the ones that wanted to watch and not dance. At the moment, there were a few couples on the dance floor with other singles. The singer was doing a slow paced number but it didn’t stop some of the people from basically having sex on the floor. More and more people were coming in as it was getting closer to the hour of dancing.
While the club was a place for couples to be what they were there was also the thriving business of being a safe place for Subs to pick up a Dom. After the singer was done it would be closer to an actual dance club with louder music and writhing bodies. That was what Spencer was waiting on.
By the time that Spencer made it back to the table, the waiter was dropping off dinner. Aaron hadn’t yet even attempted to feed him, and Spencer wasn’t going to start that yet. Maybe another time when they just wanted something to nibble on, a fruit and cheese plate or something like it. Spencer took the second seat at the table and answered questions as they ate.
Aaron understood the basics, he had to because many UnSubs played at the life. There were a lot of bodies in the club when Spencer went back up for their second round of drinks. Those ones had alcohol as they had food in their bellies. When he got back to the table with his glass of wine and Aaron’s bourbon, there was a Sub talking to him. Aaron was being polite, and not realizing exactly what her game was. He recognised her from the dance floor.
“He’s not going to give you what you want,” Spencer said as he stepped up behind her. She turned around like she’d been stung. Spencer slipped in between her and Aaron, setting down their drinks before sitting in Aaron’s lap. Instead of sitting like he had been, Spencer straddled his lap and leaned back against his chest. Aaron’s hands went right for his hips. “He’s not going to be your daddy. He’s not going to fuck you and call you a slut or a whore. He’s not going to fill that void that you have that aches to be degraded and humiliated. He’s mine, and no little thing like you would be anywhere near enough for him. Now, go away and don’t come sniffing around like a bitch in heat again.”
The woman looked to be on the edge of tears as she fled. Spencer didn’t care. He felt Aaron’s erection pressed against him. That was surprising. One of Aaron’s hands moved up under his shirt and went right for his nipples. He had started to wear rings in them as Aaron couldn’t leave them alone.
“Fuck, I never thought that taking someone down like that would be hot. Is that what he’s taught you to do?”
“Not so much taught as never let me be anything else. He never let anyone degrade me. Even his partners at the firm.” Spencer watched the curtains open and there on the stage was a young woman strapped to a table that was slanted. Her arms were outstretched and bound. Her fingers were held totally immobile.
“She’s…” Aaron swallowed hard enough that Spencer felt and heard it.
“Shh. Just watch, Aaron.”
The woman was totally naked. She didn’t have any piercings, toys, nothing on her. Beside her was a table with toys. Behind her came a man dressed only in a pair of skin tight jeans. Spencer knew that an elevator was at the back of the stage that went to a suite of rooms for those that exhibited to get to aloneness even quicker.
The man picked up a knotted cat o’ nine tails. Spencer counted each strike just under his breath. Aaron’s hand on his hip squeezed with each strike as well. The woman was silent throughout all twenty strikes. The man was perfect, and Spencer was aroused just from watching. The implement was set down and the man grabbed a few things from the table. He crouched at groin level and parted the lips of her sex. Even from a distance it was evident how aroused she was.
“I bet she’s dripping right now, being on display. She lives for it. Her mind is primed before that curtain ever opens.”
“What is that?” Aaron asked as the man attached something to her clit. As the man pulled his hand away, a chain fell down with a metal weight attached. The woman’s body jerked as it swung back and forth.
“A clamp with a weight. I bet next are ones for her nipples. The pull of them is delicious, but I would rather be dangling from a chain or on a cross when I have them attached. Then as I move into each strike they sway and add even more to it all. Every movement is sweet pain.”
Aaron’s cock twitched at his back. Spencer was going to stay through it all. He wanted Aaron to witness every single second. This was as much a part of the life as anything else.
“Do you like to be immobile like that?”
“That totally, no. Aaron never stops my fingers from moving.”
“Why is she silent? You weren’t when I used the belt on you.”
“Because my Aaron wants to hear me. He tests my submission in other ways. This Dom wants to see how far he can push her. He wants her silence to show the depth of her submission to him. You and my Aaron are alike in that you want my voice, whether I am taking down someone who deserves it, or I am begging for your cock.”
The man finished with adding the clamps to the woman’s nipples. He unhooked her right leg and slid it up until her foot was pressed against the table. He strapped it in there then moved to the left, doing the same. The table was tilted back a little bit and she was fully on display to them. Aaron gasped and pulled Spencer down into him. Peaking out was a black anal plug. As soon as the table fully stopped, the woman spread her legs as much as she could. A silicone flogger was in the man’s hand and he lashed it over her inner legs, never getting close enough to touch her pussy. Every few strikes he landed a blow on her stomach or even up across her breasts.
One hard blow across her left thigh and the man tossed the flogger down onto the table. He moved around to the back and pulled on the chains on her nipples.
Silence as her whole body shuddered and she came. The curtains fell and Spencer waited to spot Trevor. The man was over by the main levator heading up. Spencer nodded at him and the Switch moved to the stairs.
“Let’s head up, Aaron.”
“Yes.” Aaron was breathless.
Spencer stood and allowed Aaron to wrap a arm around his shoulder, tucking him under his arm. The elevator was empty so once Spencer had punched the number to the suite that he’d booked for the first part of the night, Spencer sat on the waist high bench along the back of the elevator. Aaron moved right in between his spread legs, pulling him closer by his thighs.
“What’s going to happen upstairs?”
“Trevor is going to give me pain. I don’t know what instruments he’s going to use. We will discuss that before hand. You are going to watch. You are going to watch me as I writhe in pleasure. But you are also going to pay attention. If you think you can take learning from him, he’ll teach you.”
“Who did your Aaron learn from?”
“A collection of Doms that his…father figure found for him to learn from.”
“You don’t want to tell me who.”
“No. You don’t need to know. We won’t be using my safeword with you tonight. Instead it’s going to be caesum, Trevor will honor it.”
“You said I could fuck you.”
“No. You’ll come here but I will not.”
“Personal preference. I am not wearing underwear, but I will leave it up to you whether I strip naked or not.”
The elevator opened and Spencer let Aaron pull him out. The lighting in the hallway was lit from above, casting shadows at carpet height. Trevor opened the door to the room as they approached. He was shirtless and already hard from the show in the club. There was a chair set up in front of the St. Andrew’s Cross in the middle of the room.
“Safeword?” Trevor asked as he shut the door.
“Carlie said that you would have rules, Doctor Reid.”
“Yes. You are not to touch me. You can walk Aaron through checks and strapping me in.”
Trevor stared at him, his eyes searching Spencer’s. He was trying to find out if Spencer was totally serious.
“You need this don’t you?” Trevor asked.
“How long his it been since you’ve properly been in subspace?”
“Fully? Five months.”
“And how often before that did you enter it?”
“Sometimes twice a week.”
“You should have come here before now.” Trevor looked upset.
“My circumstances are my own and you are not my Dom. You have no right to say a damned thing. I found other ways of satisfying it.”
Trevor looked at him like he didn’t believe him, but he nodded his head that he would keep his mouth shut. The man’s eyes slipped to Aaron, waiting. He was wanting Aaron to tell him what to do.
“Aaron, are you ready?” Spencer asked, turning all the way away from Trevor and looking at Aaron. Aaron nodded but smirked when Spencer raised an eyebrow.
“Strip.” Aaron’s voice was clear, even though his whole body was radiating uneasiness. That would go away. With time and understanding. Spencer stepped up to Aaron as he lifted the mesh shirt over his head. He folded it and laid it on a stand at the side of the room. He made sure that Aaron was watching as he unzipped the leather pants.
“If this gets too much, Aaron. You just leave,” Spencer said, his voice barely above a whisper. Aaron looked up into his face, stunned. “I want you to see this, but I don’t want to damage you. Don’t make yourself stay for me. I can get to subspace without an orgasm. You don’t have to stay.”
“What if I wanted you to come?”
“Do you? Do you want to see me come from that man striking me?”
Aaron swallowed and looked at Trevor, then back at Spencer before he looked down at the floor for a few seconds. When he looked back up, there was a spark in his eye that Spencer knew well.
“Then I will. How do you want to me to do it? Come when I want or when you tell me to?”
“I’ll tell you when.”
“I’ll be so good for you, Aaron.” Spencer leaned in and kissed him as he worked his pants down as far as he could without bending down. “I’ll be perfect, Sire.”
Aaron grabbed his face and kissed him hard. There was no escape from the kiss. Spencer gave into it, gave into him with no reservations. Aaron’s hands ghosted down his neck, his chest, before one cupped his cock. Spencer thrust into that hand and was rewarded with a hand wrapping around it.
“Strip,” Aaron said when he let go of Spencer and stepped away. Bending to remove his boots and socks, Spencer made sure to make a show of it. He heard twin groans from the two men in the room with him. Spencer swept the pants down his legs and folded them up and set them on top of his shirt. He didn’t even wait for Aaron to tell him what to do, he went right for the cross and waited. Trevor’s calm voice washed over him as he walked Aaron through first cuffing him and then attaching those to the cross.
Aaron pressed into him from behind. “Talk to me, Spencer. Tell me what you feel.”
“Safe.” Spencer let his head fall back onto Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron’s hand reached up and held it there. “I feel safe. Whole. I don’t ache anymore.”
“Good. I’m going to go sit in front of you.” Aaron pulled away, but he gently tilted Spencer’s head back up. Spencer listened to him move around until he came into eyesight. Aaron didn’t sit right away though. Instead he pulled the chair closer. He wasn’t in danger of getting hit, but he’d be able to see everything.
“I have a flogger, a paddle, a whip, and a cane out,” Trevor said. “Any of those you don’t want?”
“Whip. The rest at your discretion.”
“Count for me.” Trevor didn’t even give him time to answer. The first crack of the paddle landed square on his right cheek.
“One.” Spencer locked his eyes with Aaron, soon he’d give in. Soon he’d stop fighting. Smack after smack landed and Spencer counted each one. “Twenty.”
“Aaron. Check his eyes, his pulse, and give him a drink of water. Don’t let him have too much.”
Spencer felt the fingers ghost on his neck. He opened his eyes, looking at Aaron.
“Kiss, please, Sire.”
Aaron looked behind Spencer for a second and whatever Trevor did had to have been affirmative. Aaron leaned down and kissed him.
“Even when your body is still, your cock jumps with every single hit. You anticipate every hit and when it takes longer than you think it should, you get this delicious little pout on your lips.” Aaron’s thumb drew down on Spencer’s bottom lip. Aaron leaned in close. “I could get addicted to this.”
“Please what?” Aaron asked louder.
“Give me more.”
“Cane?” Aaron asked and when Spencer looked up, Aaron wasn’t looking at him. “Fifteen or is that too many?”
“No. Given the whip marks on him, I’d say that he could take it and more. But let’s start there. Sit down again.”
Spencer watched Aaron moved away. Just as the man sat down the first strike landed on his lower thighs. Spencer hissed in pleasure before he uttered. “One.” He settled in on his feet again and was utterly relaxed for the second. Each one that came after sent Spencer closer and closer to what he wanted, what he needed.
“Five more, Aaron? You tell me.”
Aaron tilted Spencer’s face up to his own. He held it there and Spencer watched him nod. He hadn’t heard the man get up at all. Aaron held his eyes as the last five cane strikes landed. Spencer was totally in subspace. He felt Aaron doing the check and he answered.
“Do you want to come?” Aaron asked.
“No, Sire. I want the flogger. Hard. I want him to keep going until you want me to come.”
“Stay right there Aaron. Watch his face, even when he goes slack. Hold it up and watch. He can easily go too far into Subspace.”
“How will I know?”
“Have you ever seen him high or drunk?”
“Look for that. Right now he’s at a good spot. When it makes you uncomfortable, tell him to come.”
Spencer filed away that Aaron had seen his Spencer high. If it had been anyone else, Spencer would have thought it was the drunk. But the tone of Aaron’s voice, the way he went stiff told him that it was when Spencer had been addicted.
“Don’t worry about counting, Little One. Just worry about pleasing your Sire with your submission.” Trevor’s first strike with the flogger was hard. Spencer didn’t even try and hold in the moan that bubbled from his lips. His entire body went lax and the only thing holding him up was the cuffs. Aaron allowed it for several swipes with the flogger before he tilted Spencer’s head up.
“Are you hard, Sire?” Spencer asked after several more strikes.
“Yes,” Aaron whispered.
“Do you think you could come from just watching?”
“Yes.” Aaron tilted Spencer’s head up a little farther as a hard crack placed on his back. Spencer could feel himself leaking. The thin trail of fluid as it slipped down his cock. He was close to begging. So close but he wasn’t going to. “Do you want to come, love?”
Aaron tightened the grip on his hair and Spencer felt the pain of it blend with the sharp crack of the flogger on his back. It was the hardest strike yet.
Spencer’s entire body stiffened with his release. He screamed his completion and slumped down. Aaron released his hair. He was floating. He had missed this. He listened as Trevor talked Aaron through things as Aaron used a wet cloth to wipe the sweat from his body. The cloth was soft but still as it passed over slightly raised welt, Spencer felt himself slipping just slightly deeper.
“Can I…” Aaron trailed off.
“I see you staring at his mouth. If you do that, you have to make sure to take extra care. He’s not going to be able to tell how cut off his oxygen is. Do you want me to stay?”
Spencer was carefully lowered to his knees and he heard the clink-clink of the teeth on a zipper as it lowered. He turned his head from where it was laying on Aaron’s thigh and saw his hard cock, right there. He knew what he wanted. Spencer opened his mouth as soon as fingers tangled in his hair.
Aaron’s cock tasted of the salt of sweat and his own release. He’d been leaking a great deal. It didn’t take long at all for Aaron to come in his mouth.
“He’s perfect. Responsive, and I can tell his Dom before was demanding. I’m shocked that he survived the loss of him,” Trevor said as Aaron was helping to dress Spencer again. Aaron didn’t offer explanations, and Spencer heard Aaron texting on his phone, for the cab he hoped. Spencer hadn’t expected to get that far into Subspace. The click of the door told him that Trevor had left and he was bundled into Aaron’s arms on the couch while they waited. Spencer let himself drowse as he did. He wanted fucked, and when they got home, he’d make sure it happened.
“Come on kid, you’re slow today. Keep those arms up, that’s it,” Morgan prompted as Spencer sparred with him. It was just the two of them that day, but he was having trouble concentrating. It had been almost ten days since his compromise with Aaron and it was nearing the time he would have to try again. His mind wasn’t on what he was doing when he ended up flat on his back and looking up at Derek.
“Alright, what’s goin’ on with you? And with the Professor? He’s been upset and won’t talk to me.” Morgan held out his hand for Spencer, which he took and let himself be lifted off the floor. He didn’t answer right away, he walked over and grabbed his water and workout towel. He wiped his face, then took a long drink of the water before turning around and sliding down the wall and pulling his legs close to him.
“I’m torn Morgan. I made a deal with Aaron, but I’m just tired.”
He looked up and watched as Derek moved to sit next to him. The friendship that had grown between them after he and Charlie came clean about everything to Derek was almost like his own Morgan. The big difference, this Morgan was calmer, and though he certainly had his bad temper, he was more understanding. He never pushed at him like his own Morgan often had wont to do.
“Charlie’s been locked in that office of yours, claiming he’s not comin’ out till he figures out what is going wrong. I can’t tell you what to do here, Reid. All I can say is, maybe keep going for a little longer. I know it can’t be easy, and I know Hotch can be uncompromising, and unbending when it comes to whichever you it is. But, maybe let Charlie do his thing, then try just a little longer.”
Spencer wiped his face again and took another long pull on his water to give himself some time to think.
“I know you’re right Morgan, but it’s just so hard. I’ll keep to my promise, and I’ll try to talk to Charlie, but knowing him, he’s going to be obsessed with finding the answer.” Spencer chuckled to himself and thought of the blackboards in his Charlie’s house that he had carefully shipped from Los Angeles with the old P vs Np problem still on it. His obsession over the problem had never gone away. This Charlie was similar, when he had a puzzle in front of him, he needed to solve it, or it would drive himself and Derek crazy.
“Look, I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Thanks Derek.” A part of Spencer would miss this version of Morgan. He hated to admit to himself at how he had been treated over the years. His expression hardened and thought over all the times Morgan picked at him, pushing at his boundaries. He knew when he got back…Spencer stopped and realized where his thoughts went. He was not using if, anymore, he was using when. Something had changed in him in that moment. He had a sudden urge of confidence that he was going to get home. He didn’t know how he knew, but he felt it deep inside, but he had felt it before, so he decided to bury that feeling as he went to take a shower. He thoroughly cleaned himself, after his shower, he wanted Aaron, desperately.
After leaving the gym he went in search of his lover, who he found in the indoor gun range. He could often be found there when upset, or contemplating someone’s demise. He hoped it would be the former, because he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with the latter. Spencer stood back and watched. His thoughts went back to the days when Aaron had tried to teach him to shoot right before the case with Dowd. He put Dowd out of his mind, but thought back to the gun range. He had already had a crush on Aaron, it had been difficult to keep it to himself when Aaron was standing so close behind him, his nerves took over and he shot worse than he ever had previously.
The succession of gunfire had him coming out of the memory. He couldn’t help his arousal as he watched Aaron for a few minutes, cycling through several types of handguns. A shiver ran through him when he picked-up the revolver. He knew then that Aaron knew he was there.
“Come here.” Aaron didn’t even look his way as he commanded Spencer. Swallowing he walked over and stood near Aaron, waiting for him. “Get under the snug and take me out.”
Spencer’s eyes widened and his heart raced, this had been a fantasy of his for a very long-time. He scrambled under and unzipped Aaron’s trousers, and noticed he was not wearing anything underneath. It had Spencer moaning in the back of his throat. Closing his eyes, he took Aaron’s half-hard cock in his mouth, and wrapped his hands around his thighs so he had some sort of purchase.
Aaron faltered for just a moment as Spencer wrapped his lips around him and he felt the muscles in his lover’s throat contract around his cock. He grabbed the hair on the back of Spencer’s head and fisted tightly pushing Spencer farther onto his cock. Closing his eyes a moment he let himself get lost in the sensations tingling up his spine and down around his thighs and groin. The pleasure of that mouth on him was one of his favorite things. Taking a few deep breaths, he let go of Spencer’s hair and picked the gun back up once more. He widened his stance just a bit which caused him to thrust slightly and his cock swelling even more.
“Fuck, your mouth, Kitten,” He groaned as he felt Spencer lick a stripe up his cock before taking the whole thing in his mouth once again.
“You have three clips to make me cum.” Aaron changed out the target, set the revolver aside and loaded the Glock 17 and aimed. He almost faltered when he felt the head of his cock slip down Spencer’s throat, but he got control of his breathing and aimed. Steady and calm he fired off the first clip, then fell slightly forward on the stall shelf, he gripped the lip hard as Spencer kept working his cock, bringing him closer to release. Swallowing hard he stood up and loaded in a fresh clip after changing targets. His hands shook slightly as Spencer added a deep hum, and started to pull at his balls.
“Fuck,” Aaron got his breathing and heart-rate under control once more, but almost faltered on his first few shots. Closing his eyes he let his head fall back on his shoulders as he felt closer and closer to his release. When he opened his eyes he stared straight at the target and emptied his clip, then grabbed Spencer’s hair once more. He held his sub right there, then fucked in and out of Spencer’s mouth coming just a moment later. He pulled Spencer off his rapidly softening cock then stepped back to let him out of the small space. As soon as the other man was standing, Aaron crowded him, kissing him hard as he pushed his tongue inside to chase the taste of himself in Spencer’s mouth. His hands pushed down Spencer’s sweat pants then he grabbed his cock.
“Beautiful,” Aaron whispered against his lover’s lips as he began to jack him off using the pre-come that had already leaked out. Spencer was moaning as he braced himself against Aaron.
“Come,” Aaron growled in his ear and Spencer’s body responded to the command as he came in Aaron’s hand. If Aaron didn’t have an arm wrapped around his waist holding him up, he knew he would have slumped to his knees.
“Go clean up, I’ll meet you upstairs.” Aaron bussed a kiss on his forehead before letting him go. Sighing, he reached for the hand wipes he kept at the stall and cleaned his hands up before cleaning his gun and putting it away in the storage area. He started to leave the basement, but turned toward the cells. He stepped through the locked door and went to stand in front of Gideon’s cell. He had not been down here to see him since the day he locked him in. He stared at the man, his heart pounding and he felt…something, but he couldn’t put a name to it.
He reached over and typed in the code and stood there in the open door, head slightly cocked as he swallowed. Aaron frowned, not even sure what it was he was doing here. He stepped in and moved to sit in the chair that was usually occupied by Dave.
“Aaron?” Gideon’s voice was rough as he turned to look at him.
Aaron looked at him, really looked, for the first time in a long time.
“You’re right, you know.”
“Right? About what?” Aaron almost laughed at the glare Jason was giving him. He leaned towards the bed and sighed.
“I know you hate me and I know you know I enjoy every second you are locked in here, suffering.” Aaron curled his lip in a mock smile and felt satisfaction at the fear he saw in Jason’s eyes. “You were right about me. I know what I am, Jason. When you and Dave took me in, you knew it was too late for me, but you didn’t even try.”
Jason closed his eyes then opened them back up.
“I did Aaron, I tried, but you were fifteen and already manipulating others in your class. I know you would have killed your father in cold blood, but losing Sean pushed you over that edge. I was first after the cops showed up, and I saw that look in your eyes. I saw it, Aaron. You enjoyed killing him, and not just because he hurt you.”
Aaron set his jaw as he glared, still trying to understand the emotions that were raging inside him and what brought him into Gideon’s cell after all this time.
“Yes, I did. And you had me all pegged, I was fifteen Jason. I…” Aaron looked away a moment as he sat back in the chair. “I still needed you.”
Jason lifted a brow as he watched Aaron. They were silent for a long time till Jason finally spoke.
“I couldn’t help you Aaron. I wanted to. I did, but Dave thought you needed to stay with us, and, you know what I wanted.”
Aaron narrowed his eyes and set his mouth in a grim line.
“Yes, I do. You wanted to lock me up, you wanted me in an institution.”
“No, I wanted you to get help.”
“I hated you. I’ve only truly hated three people in my life. You, Haley, and George Foyet. Would it shock you to know that it wasn’t by my hand that your precious protege is dead?” Aaron leaned close and whispered in his ear, “Spencer killed him. Shot him, in the head. And he has absolutely no remorse for it.”
Jason closed his eyes and shook his head.
“You’ve twisted that young man. Why? Why couldn’t you just leave him alone?”
“He’s Spencer. Doesn’t matter that he’s different, he’s Spencer.”
Jason looked confused as he watched Aaron.
“You actually love him, don’t you?”
“You doubt that I ever did?”
“Psychopaths don’t love.”
“Ah, but that isn’t quite true is it? I loved Sean. I would have died protecting him, but I didn’t did I? I didn’t protect him. Not till it was too late. I love Jack, you can’t even know, Jason. He would have been your Grandson, like he and Dave are. In fact, Dave took him out tonight, just them. But, not you, you left us. You left Dave and I because you couldn’t deal with it.” Aaron shoved out of the chair and paced. “You couldn’t love me. I look at Jack and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. Nothing I wouldn’t do to protect him.
“And Spencer, he’s mine in every way. I know it’s possessive and he knows if he ever left me, I’d go after him and kill him. But, he won’t, because his love is even worse. We know what we are Jason and that’s where you made your mistakes. You tried to handle me, and manipulate him, you should have known me much better than that.”
“If you hate me why are you here? Why all this?”
Aaron stopped pacing and leaned on the bed taking deep shallow breaths.
“I made a deal with the other world’s Spencer. He wanted to stop the experiments. I…I lost my temper and I hurt him. We compromised. He gets two weeks reprieve, but has to try again.” Aaron scrubbed his face as he paced. He felt Jason watching him, he wasn’t even sure why he was here, nothing changed. Jason would still endure his punishment, but…but something brought him here, something he was afraid to put a name to.
“You’re afraid.” Aaron stopped and whipped his head around to look at Jason.
“What makes you say that?”
“Because nothing else would bring you here. You are afraid. I’ve only seen you afraid once, when I left. Tell me Aaron, what made you afraid then and what is making you afraid now?”
“I needed you dammit.” Aaron’s anger made him lash out at Jason once more. “Dave may have been the father I wanted, but you, fuck you, you were the father I needed<,i>. You saw me Jason. You saw me like my Spencer sees me. That’s what drew me to him. In that office, in that moment that I saw Spencer he knew who and what I was. Dave wanted me to be different, but you saw me and you left me.” Aaron was breathing harshly as he crossed his arms over his chest and glared. “And that makes me angry. I never got over that Jason. You threw me away, you threw Dave away when we needed you most and I was afraid. I was slipping into that darkness I know is in me. The darkness I give in to more and more. I know what I am Jason. I’m a killer and a Psychopath.
“Yes, I’m afraid. I could lose them both, and Spencer is one of the only things keeping me from giving in completely. Everything I am, everything I do it’s because of him.”
Jason shook his head and watched Aaron still.
“You’re right. I did see you and I left you and Dave. You both deserved more. I could not stand by and watch Dave try to treat you like a normal son. It doesn’t mean I didn’t love you Aaron. I tried, god knows I tried, but I couldn’t be part of that. I made mistakes and you paid for them. As for Spencer, you need to trust. You need to believe that somehow, this other Spencer will find the way and if he does, you need to let him go.”
Aaron glared at Jason. This wasn’t how he wanted all this to go, but it was all things he had wanted to say years before. He wasn’t really sure if he felt any better, but he knew Jason was right. He was holding on too tight, pushing Spencer too hard, and it was just hurting all of them. He turned on his heels, not even saying goodbye and left. He went upstairs to find Spencer, he needed him now more than ever.
The next morning Spencer was curled up in the library with tea and several books at his side. His back and legs still bore the marks from the whip Aaron used on him the night before. Every time he moved he hissed, but it was a good kind of feeling. He wasn’t sure when he began to relish how his body felt the next day, but he did. It was going to be hard to lose this when he finally found the solution.
He was lost in the book he was currently reading when the library doors burst open and Charlie came running in.
“I think I’ve got it!” He said practically vibrating with excitement.
“What?” Spencer looked up trying not to feel anything. He didn’t want to get excited only to be let down.
“I think I’ve found out why it hasn’t been working. I was going through a-a-all of the information you gave me from the initial experiment, then going back through every single one we’ve done since the Collider was built. I know where we are off Spencer. I just…I know this will work.” The smile on Charlie’s face did nothing for him.
“That’s, that’s good.” Spencer put his book aside and went to Charlie, “Show me.” He asked. They went to their shared office and Charlie broke it down in a step by step comparison. When they went through all of the steps and all of the numbers, Spencer saw it too, where they had gone wrong.
Sitting down in one of the chairs he tried to process all of the information before him. Charlie was right, or at least it looked like Charlie was right, he felt his friend waiting in anticipation for his answer.
“You’re right. It’s all here. It’s all down to the timing of the particles being introduced. Do…you’re sure it’ll work?”
“I’m not 100 percent sure, no scientist ever really is, but Spencer I’m at least 98.9 percent sure this is the solution and it will work.”
Spencer stood and paced around the room. Did he really want to go through with this? What if something else went wrong? What if he ended up in another reality and not his own? What if…what if…what if… these questions were spinning wildly in his mind. It was only when Charlie stopped him mid-stride and held him in place.
“I know what you are thinking, but I believe the Collider is calibrated only to your world and this one. I know you are thinking of all the risks and possibilities, but don’t you owe yourself one last try?”
Spencer closed his eyes and and nodded. Charlie was right, one more time, it’s what he promised Aaron anyway.
“Yes, alright. But, let’s wait for tomorrow night.”
“That’s fine. It’ll give me time to recalibrate and double check all of the equipment.”
Spencer tried to smile as he left the library and went in search of Aaron. He found him in his office working on some files. He stood in the doorway and waited till Aaron looked up at him.
“Charlie believes he knows whats wrong. He’s going in tonight to re-calibrate the equipment. He found the anomaly between what I gave him of the original experiment, and what we’ve been doing.”
Aaron stood and walked over to Spencer, emotions warring deep inside him.
“He’s confident, Aaron. Thinks he knows what was wrong. We’re going to try it tomorrow.”
Aaron cupped his cheek and pulled him in close to kiss him. It didn’t take much and Spencer was already getting hard. Aaron wanted something different, something only Spencer could give him.
“I want you to fuck me Spencer,” Aaron growled as he kissed Spencer hard and possessive.
“Y-y-you want me to be inside you?” Spencer felt his cheeks get hot, he thought he was over all the blushing.
“Yes Spencer. Will you do that for me? I want to feel you, I want to feel what it’s like to have your cock inside me. I want to know what the piercing feels like as you pound into me, I want you to fuck me and not hold back.” Aaron’s kiss turned passionate as he held Spencer up.
“Yes, god yes Aaron, I will do that for you.” Spencer couldn’t deny that he wanted it too.
“Then go take a shower and I’ll be right up.” Aaron let him go and Spencer practically ran to their bedroom to go take his shower. Leaving his office he went in search of Charlie. He found the man in his and Spencer’s shared office.
“Did you really figure it out?” Aaron asked as he stepped in unceremoniously
Charlie looked up and straightened up.
“Yes. I figured out where we were going wrong and once I saw the flaw, it should have worked months ago. I’m not going to apologize, I wasn’t at my best when you found me and I know if I had been, I would have figured this out.”
“I’m not asking for an apology. But you better not be promising me something you can’t deliver on. I won’t care that you’re Derek’s lover.” The hard set to his eyes and mouth told Charlie not to argue.
Aaron nodded then spun on his heels and strode through the mansion on his way to his bedroom. He had this night planned out and he was going to make the most of it. He entered the room and undressed quickly, he heard Spencer still in the shower and went to join him.
Spencer had his face under the water, and startled slightly as arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. He felt the scraping of teeth over his neck, as one hand moved and settled over his heart and the other moved to stroke his cock.
“I can’t wait to feel you inside me,” Aaron whispered across the skin on his neck. A finger played with the piercing which made Spencer shudder in Aaron’s arms. He turned Spencer around then slipped to his knees where he took Spencer in his mouth and tongued at the half-hard cock. He wanted to play with Spencer for a bit first.
“Sir,” Spencer slapped the sides of the shower as he shook a little at what Aaron was doing to him. Aaron pulled off then stood and kissed Spencer, hard. Aaron reached behind Spencer and turned off the shower, then helped him out and dried him off before drying himself. He ushered Spencer out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where he already had supplies laid out on the nightstand.
Spencer ran his hands over Aaron’s body as they stood there, he kissed him, then trailed his mouth down Aaron’s jaw, flicking his tongue out tentatively and moved to mouth at his adam’s apple. His hands cupped Aaron’s ass as he pulled him even closer. Spencer moaned as Aaron’s hands wandered over his back making him moan as he pressed their groins together. Spencer continued down Aaron’s body, his tongue flicked over the dark hard nipples making them even harder. He was rewarded with Aaron’s noises of pleasure and the hands that fisted in his hair. He trailed his tongue back up and paid special attention to the soft skin of Aaron’s neck.
“Fuck, Kitten,” Aaron growled as he walked them slowly back towards the bed. He broke away and got on his hands and knees in the middle of the large bed. Spencer couldn’t help the moan that escaped as he was presented with Aaron’s ass. He kneed up on the bed and bent down to kiss and bite at the perfect, hard muscled buttocks. A moment later had him moving off the bed to grab the lube, the condom and the ever present towel that was on Aaron’s nightstand. They had talked before about this, but Spencer never figured that it would actually happen.
Opening the lube he slicked his fingers up, then poured some onto Aaron’s hole. The moan that came from him almost had Spencer faltering, but he took a deep breath and slid a finger inside that tight heat.
“Don’t hold back Kitten,” Aaron growled as he pushed back on Spencer’s finger. The younger man’s heart was racing as he slipped a second finger inside and slowly fingered his lover, loosening him up. “That’s it, fuck, those long fingers of yours, feels so good Kitten.” Spencer pulled his fingers free and wiped them on the towel, then grabbed the condom and pinching the resevoir tip he slipped it on, careful not to let the thin latex break. He made sure the half-moon ring was flat against his cock and carefully sheathed. He poured some of the lube onto his hand and slicked the condom up just enough to be able to slide inside Aaron.
He waited a moment to calm his breathing as he laid his hand on Aaron’s ass, pulling him apart just a bit.
“Are you sure, Sir?” Spencer wanted to make sure that Aaron was okay with what they were doing. He knew Jackson was the only person Aaron bottomed for, and on the very rare occasion, his Spencer.
“Yes, Kitten. I want this, like I said, don’t hold back. I want to feel you, I want you to fuck me, to use me.” Aaron turned his head just enough so they could lock eyes. He nodded once and that was all it took for Spencer to continue.
Grabbing his now achingly hard cock in his hand Spencer guided himself slowly inside Aaron’s now slick entrance. As he pushed the head of his cock inside, he had to still himself a moment. The feeling was overwhelming as the tight heat wrapped around him. He grabbed Aaron’s ass and pulled his cheeks apart wanting to watch himself slide inside Aaron. His breath hitched as he pulled back, then pushed in again, going farther in. He was taking his time, enjoying every second of the experience.
It added something as expletives and nonsense words slipped from Aaron’s tongue. The Dom was being taken apart bit by bit as Spencer slowly fucked him. He didn’t want to go too fast at first because of the piercing, but Aaron was begging him and it was a little heady. Gripping Aaron’s hips Spencer gave in to what he wanted to do and fucked into Aaron hard and fast.
Aaron was shaking under Spencer’s ministrations, the drag of the piercing inside him was like nothing he’d ever experienced. All the sensations were heightened.
“God, you don’t even know Kitten. That, no words, no fucking words.” Spencer couldn’t help the growl that rumbled in his chest as he edged closer to his release. He pumped in and out of Aaron harder, his breath shallowed, his heart raced and he felt that pull in his balls, moving up through his groin.
“Sir, please, please…” He wasn’t even sure what he was begging for, Aaron didn’t give him any limits for this and a part of him was a little lost. He almost faltered as he pushed in hard making Aaron cry out.
“Yes, Kitten, come, come when you want. Fuck.” Aaron practically yelled as he buried his head on the pillow under him.
Spencer pulled almost all the way out and pushed in hard. He did this a couple of times, then he gripped Aaron’s hips harder as he pushed in a final time, he came hard as he cried out. It took him a moment before he pulled out, Aaron was turning around on the bed and Spencer saw the wet spot, he raised a brow at his lover.
“I came when you did. Jesus christ Kitten, that was amazing.” Aaron pulled Spencer on top of him and kissed him so hard that he tasted a bit of blood. “Go clean up and come back.” Spencer scrambled off the bed and went to the bathroom to take care of the condom and thoroughly clean his now softened cock. He used some peroxide wipes to clean around the piercing. After, he washed his mouth and saw where his lip split just slightly. Taking a moment to process Spencer gripped the sink as he felt a moment of melancholy descend around him. He shook his head as he walked back to the bedroom with Aaron waiting for him.
Crawling up on the bed he settled in Aaron’s arms and splayed his hand over the man’s stomach, slowly caressing.
“Kitten?” Spencer should have known that Aaron would pick-up on his sudden mood change.
“That was amazing and thank you for trusting me,” He said as he buried his head against Aaron’s shoulder.
“Then what’s wrong?”
Spencer wasn’t sure if he could put into words what it was that was bothering him, and he thought that it didn’t matter, but somehow, with the possibility of getting back home, somehow it did matter.
“I have no more firsts left. I’ve given them to you and not to him and I don’t know, it’s…it suddenly matters and I don’t know why.”
Aaron wrapped his arm tighter around Spencer as he held him close.
“You were moving into a relationship that was new and probably a bit exciting. I’m not going to say I’m sorry, I won’t give you that. But, maybe you’re looking at this all wrong.”
Spencer frowned as he sat up on his elbow and looked down at Aaron.
“What do you mean?”
Aaron chuckled as he cupped Spencer’s cheek, he let his thumb caress almost absentmindedly.
“We are very different people Spencer. From what you’ve told me of your Aaron, he’s good, kind and genuinely wants to help people. I’m not that. You know this. I am a possessive, selfish man and everything I do is for Spencer first, Jack and myself. When you go back, you’re going back to a different person, a different man. Just because we bare the same face, does not mean we are the same. You will have those firsts, if you want them.”
Spencer had to admit that he didn’t think of it that way. There was so much that was like his Aaron that he thought all of that was lost, but there was a lot of sense to what Aaron was saying. There were still those possibilities, that is if they gave each other the chance. They weren’t the same and that lifted Spencer’s spirits just a bit.
“Kitten, let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow is a big day.”
Spencer hummed sleepily as he lifted his arms for the cuffs, then curled on his side. It wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep, new hope filling him as he fell deeper. The despair he had found himself in just a few days ago was lifting. He was full on fast asleep when Aaron wrapped around him, coming to terms with the possibility that he was going to lose this Spencer with no guarantee of getting his own back.
Spencer took the seat that was directly in front of the stack of paperwork that Aaron had laid down when he’d gone into the round table room as soon as they had arrived at work. No one questioned that they carpooled, given they lived in the same building. Spencer enjoyed it, even if he did arrive at work a lot earlier than the others. He usually brought some kind of school work to do before the actual day started.
The rest of the team filed into the bullpen somewhere between half an hour before scheduled time and five minutes early. Spencer had gone up to the room long before so that he could get the seat that he wanted. He shifted in the chair and let out a small moan. Aaron looked up from his paperwork with a sharp eye right on Spencer. Spencer had booked another session with Trevor the night before because Aaron had needed more than just training. Aaron had been training with Trevor as much as work allowed but last night was the first time that Aaron had taken a tool to Spencer. Trevor hadn’t wanted to use Spencer because of his ability to lie with his body. Aaron needed someone who wasn’t so hard core to learn what was too much and what was not enough.
Last night though, he’d needed Spencer.
“Stop that,” Aaron’s tone was hard but there was a lilt to it. “I know what you are trying to do and I thank you but Dave is on his way in here. If you can’t sit still, you can go to my office and kneel until you can.”
“Is that supposed to be a deterrent?” Spencer asked.
“Is what supposed to be a deterrent?” Rossi asked as he entered the room. He looked between Aaron and Spencer with a smile on his face.
“Hotch threatened me with having to read all the files in his office if I didn’t quit bugging him on what the meeting today is about,” Spencer lied as he smiled at Aaron.
“That is not a deterrent at all. Aaron, you know the kid lives for paper trails.”
Spencer kept his scowl to himself at the kid thing. From his Dave it was understandable, he saw Aaron as his kid and so had adopted Spencer into that role as well. It was meant as a nickname that came from a place in his heart, as much as it were but from Rossi it wasn’t anything of the kind. Aaron nodded at him that he understood. Spencer picked up his book and started to read. Aaron wasn’t going to start until everyone was there.
“Reid likes them yes but mine is all budget paperwork. Though, I still want to send him in my place to the next budget meeting.”
“The Brass would hate you. But we might get our budget approved at whatever you have it just to get rid of him.” Rossi sat down in the seat next to Aaron and tried to sneak a look at the folder. Aaron laid his hand on top of it, glaring at Rossi. The older agent raised his hands then pulled his phone from his pocket. He got lost in the words on the screen while Aaron worked on whatever he was working on and Spencer read.
“So Hotch, what is with the early assed meeting?”
“I’ll explain when everyone is in here.” Aaron didn’t even look up when Morgan asked his question. Spencer closed his book and looked at Morgan. He tried to figure out exactly how the dark skinned agent was going to respond to what was coming. Morgan had been placed as Unit Chief when Foyet had been after Aaron two years before. He hadn’t done bad according to the letters that Spencer had read. Spencer though knew that he wasn’t going to be able to keep his mouth quiet about how he was treated once Morgan took over. He’d chafe under the way it was.
Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia arrived as one with baked goods and coffees all around. He thanked JJ with a kiss to her cheek when she handed over his coffee and it was done perfect.
“Wow, Spence. You are feeling good this morning,” JJ said as she took the seat beside him. Spencer had already ate and so he passed on a baked good, which earned a weird look from Prentiss.
“I even got your favorite, chocolate with sprinkles.”
“I had a very full breakfast.” Spencer pushed back from the table enough to cross his legs and set his writing tablet in his lap. Aaron had woke him up with a lazy round of sex before cooking a big breakfast for all three of them. They were settled into a nice routine. He didn’t figure it would be too much longer before the talk of a house was brought up, once the other Spencer came back.
“Thank you all for coming in. The BAU is going to see some changes starting today.” Aaron stood up and everyone else kind of stilled. Aaron didn’t stand when he talked to them normally, only in the really important moments from what Spencer was able to gleen. There was a knock on the door behind Spencer and Aaron nodded towards it. Spencer frowned and stood up to do as he wanted. Standing there on the other side of it was Alex. Spencer squealed and hugged her before she could even step into the room. Alex laughed and hugged him back tightly. There was a chair open to Spencer’s left and when she pulled away from the hug, Spencer ushered her into it after shutting the door. Aaron was allowed a brief smile to pass over his face. “Team this is Alex Blake, she’s the newest member of the team.”
“How did you get the Brass to allow another member?” Rossi asked.
“They didn’t.” Aaron picked up the top file and flipped it open. He looked at it and then slid it over to Morgan. The next file was slid over to Spencer, without looking at it. “I am going to be stepping up as Section Chief in the wake of everything that has happened.”
“WHAT!” Morgan yelled. He stood up and slammed his hand on the table. Spencer held in his gasp of shock. Derek would never do that. The look on Aaron’s face said that he wasn’t happy that Morgan had done it.
“Sit down, Morgan,” Aaron said. His voice was low and gravely. He stared Morgan down until the emotional agent took a seat again. “Thank you. I didn’t take this lightly but a few things have changed in my personal life and I needed to make an according change. As well as whoever took Strauss’ spot as Section Chief was going to be dealing with a lot of fallout from what Strauss had been doing to this team and others. The upper management is going to be keeping a very close eye on everything. Whoever takes over needs to stand their ground to keep the teams functioning.”
“But you will go insane, man. You were not made for a desk job. You haven’t accepted yet have you?” Morgan looked more upset than he really had any right to be and it was irking Spencer. His hand itched and he really wished he had a letter opener in it that he could threaten the man with. He really missed his letter opener from his world.
“I have. I have been clearing my work for two weeks. Today, the new Unit Chief takes over. Yesterday, the final decision on the replacement Unit Chief was made. I had already started to work on all of the Section Chief paperwork.”
“So who is it?” Prentiss asked. Her eyes kept darting to Alex and Spencer wondered if all of them were worried that Alex was coming in as Unit Chief. It was like they didn’t know Aaron at all. He gave up his post to make sure that he wasn’t forced out two years before. He wasn’t going to give the team to someone they didn’t know, not as Unit Chief.
“Look Hotch. I understand but we need you and you are going to kill yourself not being on the team.” Morgan was trying to change Aaron’s mind, Spencer knew that but it was the wrong words to choose. “You live for this team, man.”
“No, I do not.” Aaron’s tone sent shivers down Spencer’s spine. It was the tone that when his Aaron used it in court, hell was about to reign down on the asshole who pissed him off.
“You didn’t leave this job for Haley, Hotch. You didn’t leave it when she died and you had Jack to raise. What has changed that has made you want to leave this job?” Morgan asked.
“Nothing like that has changed but I have. I found the want to stay home with Jack more and the rest of the reasons why are none of this team’s business. I’m still going to be helping to hunt the monsters and Jack will know that I’m still his hero.”
“Is someone blackmailing you?” Morgan asked.
Spencer glanced briefly at the other agent with a look of disgust on his face. He wasn’t going to hold that part of him in.
“You really think that Hotch would let someone blackmail him like that?” Spencer asked.
As if shocked, Morgan’s head spun to him so fast that Spencer might have thought he got whiplash from it. The rest of the team except for Alex had matching looks on their faces, especially Garcia. She looked shocked and a little upset that Spencer questioned Morgan.
“And what exactly do you think that Hotch has in his closet that would give someone the ability to blackmail him? I think that someone who was using Jack against him would know what happened to the last man who threatened the boy. You are the one with trust issues on the team so it’s not like he’d try and keep it from us if someone was threatening or blackmailing him.”
“Reid,” Prentiss started.
“Don’t even start on trust with me,” Spencer said turning his head to her. “How long did Hotch lecture you on what you pulled with Doyle and how to save your life he had to lie to all of us? Do you all really think that he’d lie to us over something like this? After what lying about you almost did to us?”
“Reid, it’s fine.” Aaron looked at Spencer and it wasn’t really a look that he should be giving him in public much less in front of the rest of the team. It was gone in seconds though.
“No, he’s right.” JJ smiled at Spencer and patted his shoulder. “He is totally right. I thought about it as well. How I didn’t think that you could really want to leave the team but I have to accept your reasons why and understand that you are doing what is best for you.”
“So who does the Brass want taking over?” Rossi asked.
“I only gave them a single name and I’ve spent two weeks making sure they understand why but I’m a little leary right now of just handing it all over.” Aaron looked at Morgan and the darker skinned agent seemed to deflate under that look. “The Director wants a six month trial period for you as Unit Chief Morgan. My things are already moved out of my office and I’ll be taking over a different office than what Strauss used. I don’t like the glass doors.”
“What’s with the file for Reid?” Rossi asked.
“He’s taking over as Lead Profiler. You are still going to be Assistant Agent in Charge. The Director likes your name attached to things still. But I think that he wants to be able to tout Reid’s name as well. This unit puts out a lot of psychology papers that Reid helps on or outright writes.”
Spencer knew that Prentiss might chafe a little under not being named lead profiler. While she had more experience in law enforcement than him, Reid had been with the BAU for longer. There wasn’t a lot that she could counter with that. JJ looked shocked and Rossi just looked a little happy. Morgan had been lead profiler since he’d taken over as Unit Chief for Aaron after Foyet. With Morgan taking over as Chief there was a real chance that he would have been and that meant more paperwork. Spencer didn’t mind it and he was sure that the other Spencer was going to love it.
“So Blake is taking your opening on the team. Morgan is taking over as UC. Rossi is staying AAIC and Reid is taking over as Lead Profiler. Any more changes?” Garcia asked.
“Yes. JJ will be taking over as Media Liaison full time again. Morgan is going to have enough taking over as Chief that he’s not going to be able to do it as well as his job. I know you have enjoyed the more profiling aspects but are needed as the liaison more.”
JJ huffed a little at that but she didn’t say a word. She looked at Spencer and it was like he could read her mind in that instant. She hoped to have him do some of it but Spencer wasn’t even going to touch that at all. He knew his job and he was going to stick to that. He just hoped that Morgan did as well. There was one thing on slipping a few files into Spencer’s to do when they all were buried in work and he was the quickest but it was another to shirk duty by putting it off on someone else. All else fails, Spencer would make sure that Rossi backed him up.
“But other than that, it’s all.”
“So where is your new office going to be?”
“JJ’s going to be taking back her old office. Morgan will be moving to mine and as a peace offering, after the Strauss debacle, the Director is giving Reid an office. So the closest office to the bullpen that has an antechamber will be mine. That way anyone who needs me can get to me quicker than Strauss’ old one. Reid’s office is undetermined at the time as someone else has laid claim to Morgan’s. So that leaves Prentiss and Blake alone in the bullpen but we will be adding another team to the BAU’s roster as well. I’ve talked to the Director and he agrees that having a team that focuses more on non violent repeating crimes and better ways of tracking them for urban areas.”
“I’ve heard some interesting things that Grimes Tech is launching. How does the Director like it?” Rossi looked interested in a way that Spencer hadn’t seen him before.
“You’ve not read much about it have you?” Aaron asked with a smirk on his face. He looked proud as hell and it was a look that Spencer had seen on his Aaron but not much on this Aaron at all.
“No.” Rossi looked at Aaron and frowned at the smirk on his face. “Why?”
“Garcia pull up the joint press release that the DOJ and Grimes Tech released. ”
“Okay.” Garcia started to type on her computer which had automatically synced to the screen in the room. A few sites popped up and then one took the full screen.
“Why does it matter what’s in the press release?” Prentiss asked.
“Because there is another reason besides a peace offering about Reid’s office. While on leave in Atlantic City with Reid, I had my eyes opened in a few ways. I figured out that I would never be comfortable in that world. I also watched Reid and Grimes discuss a two million dollar a year job. Before we left, he’d signed the paperwork and walked away with three million per year.”
“What?” Rossi asked.
“Reid is the DOJ side head of the project. Hell Grimes is giving him minions.”
“Minions?” Spencer asked. He hadn’t expected that word out Aaron’s mouth.
“That’s what Grimes called them and it kind of stuck. He’s going to be getting an upgrade to all of his home tech and yes Garcia he will be carrying a tablet but it won’t be valid for casework. I think that some of the tech he has can do his taxes for him.”
“I do my own taxes, thank you.”
“This team is going to go through some hard changes over the next few months. With Reid’s new side project, he might just be doing telephone consults with you guys on some cases. Blake is going to be a hard hitter for the team and on occasion, I will join teams in the field to make sure that you are functioning unit. It’s going to be hard but I think that this team will be stronger for it. I think this unit will be stronger for it.” Aaron nodded at each of the team before he grabbed his files and left. He pulled the door shut, not giving anyone a chance to say anything to him.
“I feel like I don’t understand a thing that happened,” Garcia said as her eyes never left the screen of her laptop. She was reading through all of the press release. “This project that Grimes is doing is awesome and it’s awe inspiring and a good thing. It would make my job a lot easier once it’s up and running. It’s going to take a lot of man hours.”
“It really is. Did you see who he’s going to employ in each state?” Spencer hoped to distract the lot of them enough to where Aaron could slip into his office and finish up the last of the things he needed before he moved to Strauss’ old office. That part of it was temporary as his assistant did need a place to work until another location, closer to the bullpen could be found.
“I saw that. I can understand wanting cops and vets and others who are shut ins work on it. He’s doing a damned good thing for all of them.”
“Let the rest of us read, mama,” Morgan said his eyes on the screen.
“I’m looking forward to having an office. The privacy will be nice.” Spencer really was looking forward to it. He still hadn’t really got used to working in the bullpen. He was used to his shared office with his Aaron.
“You are going to need it with the project. I’m glad for you, Reid. It’s a big project but I think that it’ll help. Even if it helps to save even a handful of people, it’s worth it.” Garcia looked tickled pink.
“Jackson is really looking forward to getting it off the ground. He came to Atlantic City just to woo me into taking it.” Spencer smiled and laughed. “He hit on Hotch. He’s very omnisexual and he doesn’t even try and hide it. I’ve never seen Hotch shocked silent but he was. It was totally worth it.”
“I would have loved to have seen that,” Rossi said. There was a look on his face that told Spencer he was thinking deep about something. “It’s about time he’s started to try and get back out there again. I know that Haley’s death threw him for a loop but he’s been divorced over four years now. Maybe taking the Section Chief job will help him in that. He can focus on maybe finally picking up a hobby besides running and then find a girl.”
“Hotch finding a hobby besides running?” Prentiss asked. She started to laugh. Spencer bristled but didn’t let it show. “He’ll probably spend more time at the range. He likes three things, running, guns, and spending time with Jack. Your best bet Rossi is to find a soccer mom to latch onto him. Whoever you find will have to be the pursuer. Look at what he let happen with that running partner of his.”
“Emily is right,” JJ said.
A knock sounded on the door and before anyone could call out for whoever it was to enter, the door opened. It was Aaron’s new assistant, Grace.
“Doctor Reid, Hotch wants your help on a few things.”
“Sure.” Spencer gathered up his things. He kissed Alex on the cheek. “I’m glad you are here.”
“I bet,” Alex said with a smirk on her face.
Spencer followed Grace through the small hallway that lead back to where he knew that Aaron wanted to have his office. Aaron was standing in a doorway to what was an office suite.
“What’s up, Hotch?” Spencer asked. Aaron turned to look at him, a smile on his face.
“So this is the office with an antechamber in area around the bullpen that is open. It’s actually closer than I thought that I would get. It’s closer than Garcia’s office. There is room for two desks for assistants but I think that one bigger desk would work.”
“Work for what?” Spencer asked. He was trying to figure out why Aaron would need two assistants.
“We need to find an office for you. Grace has already said that she’d gladly take messages for you and have your office phone set to ring to her’s when you are on cases. Both of the offices are the same size but there is one added little thing that you might like.” Aaron stepped farther into the antechamber and Spencer followed behind him. The office to the left had a desk inside of it and a few bookshelves but otherwise is was empty. Spencer frowned as Aaron moved to an area of the room that had nothing in it. Then he realized that there was a door that led to the other office. Aaron opened the door and showed him that it did indeed lead to the other room. “We can work most of the time with the door open. You said that you shared an office with Aaron at the law office. My Spencer is going to be used to that as well by now and I’m sure that this would be good for him.”
“And you are sure that the Brass is going to go for this. Won’t it be a little bit odd?” Spencer was sure that the Section Chief wanting to share an office suite with a underling who wasn’t one of the Unit Chiefs was a little odd.
“We can use the exact reason I gave you. Someone who can take messages for short things or transfer the caller to voicemail if it’s important enough while you are on a case will be a great help with the Database Project. Then your assistant from Grimes Tech and Grace can keep in touch. You can be tracked all the time and they won’t be worried.”
“You won’t be worried,” Spencer pointed out. Aaron smiled and looked around before he hooked a finger underneath the collar that Spencer was wearing under his clothes. Spencer took that half step that Aaron wanted him to and it took him right into his space. The look in the older man’s eyes had Spencer getting hard. The finger curled tighter and then he was being pressed into the wall. Spencer hissed as the welts on his back connected with the doorjamb behind him.
“I like knowing where you are every single second. That’s the only thing that I am going to have trouble adjusting to. Sending you out on cases. But you are going to be good aren’t you?”
“I’ll be perfect, Sire,” Spencer whispered. He wanted to lean into a kiss but Aaron’s finger curled in the collar stopped him. Aaron’s eyes were darting between the doorways into both offices.
“I know you will be.” Aaron leaned in and pressed a hard kiss onto his lips. Spencer wanted to touch but Aaron hadn’t told him that he was allowed to. He whined a little when the lips left his own. “We will pick that up later. After we get home. For now, let’s go and see about new office furniture.”
“New?” Spencer asked. He was sure that the FBI wasn’t going to foot the bill for new furniture. He figured there was a catalog somewhere if there were no extras laying around.
“Oh, yes. We are going to go hit that store seven blocks from the house. I’ve seen you eyeing things in there,” Aaron said as he finally let go of the collar. Spencer tried to figure out what he meant as he didn’t remember looking at office furniture when he’d been out with them.
“Hotch, is it okay if I go ahead and start to get the office equipment brought into the antechamber?” Grace asked, her voice telling Spencer that she was kind of close. So that was what Aaron had meant. The other Spencer had seen things and Aaron didn’t want to run the chance of her hearing Aaron calling him the other Spencer.
“Yes, Grace. And I’ll get you that big desk you showed me the picture of.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
Aaron straightened his clothes and smiled as he stepped back from Spencer. “We have a lot of shopping to do. Chairs, bookshelves, desks, couches, and a few end tables.”
“And two dorm fridges. And at least a Keurig for me. I guess you can use it if you want,” Spencer said playing along.
“I was going to get one for Grace for her office. I’ll just use it.” Aaron reached out and ruffled Spencer’s hair and Spencer glared back at him. Grace laughed as he tried to get his hair back to the way that it had been. She stepped up to him and easily started to fix it. Spencer hadn’t paid much attention to the woman before. She was very pretty but she’d long ago passed young. Spencer estimated that she was somewhere between Aaron and Rossi’s ages. There was no ring on her finger and no evidence there had ever been.
“Unless she’d like a different machine.”
“Keurig is fine with me. I don’t drink a lot of coffee so it’ll be nice to have for when I do.”
“Oh, what do you drink?” Aaron asked.
“Tea. I bring loose leaf tea and steep it using water I’ll brew through the Keurig.”
“Then an electric kettle it will be. I know of a nice one,” Spencer said. Grace smiled at him. “I might get one for my office as well. I’ve been drinking a lot more tea lately.”
Spencer turned and looked at his office, mapping what he wanted and where he wanted it. There was a great deal of room in there and while he’d love it to be full of books, Aaron was right that a couch was a good idea if for no other reason than Jack. Who did visit his dad on occasion at the office and being right next door to each other, Spencer knew that Jack would want to visit him. He thought about a smaller bookshelf that would be perfectly Jack sized that a few toys could be set on as well as books and the top could hold snacks and drinks for the boy. He could see making both offices a place where Jack would like to spend time. Making the coffee table in his office low enough to where Jack could sit on the floor and do his school work because a desk would be a little strange. The bookshelves could be passed off as for Henry when he grew up a little more and for Jack as a byproduct. It wouldn’t be that odd.
Before they left for the day, Spencer packed up his desk so that Alex could take it over. He made sure that she was comfortable being left alone with the rest of the team. He knew that the team would be on better behavior with her than they would have been with anyone else. Prentiss and her were talking together when Spencer and Aaron loaded onto the elevator for a day of shopping for office furniture.
Just as they were getting into Aaron’s car, Spencer felt his phone vibrate. He pulled the phone from his pocket and looked at it. He frowned as he took in the message that Morgan wanted to talk about Hotch. One would think that Morgan would love the chance at advancement in his job. He wondered what exactly Morgan’s thought process was on why Aaron wouldn’t want to leave the job. He had a feeling that things would have been explained in too much detail for the man to accept that this was what Aaron wanted.
“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked as he put the car in reverse. Spencer kept his mouth silent as the older man carefully backed out of the spot that he was in. He’s started to use the reserved spot for the BAU Section Chief two weeks before. Spencer was shocked that it hadn’t caused the rumor to spread long before now.
“Morgan.” Spencer closed his eyes and wished he could just scare the man into doing what he needed to do but that would never fly with this one. Everyone in his and his Aaron’s household held not a small amount of fear about him. It had grown over the years and Aaron never tried to wipe that fear away. They all had known that he had gone to Japan and what he had learned while there. They didn’t know the extent of his exact body count or some of the more unseemly things that he had done for Aaron but they all knew that he was deadly. “He’s going to become an issue. As long as he thinks that he can make you take the job back, he’s not going to settle into it and the unit is going to hurt for it.”
“I can’t do anything until he tries something.”
“I know. He wants my help in making you see his sense. I don’t understand why he thinks you are unable of making a choice in your own future.”
“Because it doesn’t match with what he wants out of his future. He doesn’t see himself leaving the unit for love or children so he can’t understand someone else doing it. I didn’t do it when Haley left me or when she died. Why would I do it now? He can’t understand that something has changed and it hasn’t been a big fiasco.” Aaron’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. Spencer reached up and grabbed his right hand, dragging it over to his thigh. Aaron’s hand wrapped around it on his own. Spencer closed his eyes and moaned. There were a few welts on his thighs from the whip that Trevor had coached Aaron through wielding the night before. Aaron hadn’t marked him much but what he had done, was going to stay on him a few days and he loved it. Aaron’s body relaxed and he grounded himself on Spencer.
Spencer turned his head towards the window to watch everything pass while he crowed inside. He had been able to help this Aaron in more ways than one. He just hoped when he swapped places with the other Spencer that Aaron wouldn’t revert too far. Aaron’s ability to rely on Spencer and Spencer on Aaron would keep them where they would need to be.
Spencer hadn’t been running except in the mornings. He’d gotten into the habit years before and it had stayed but every once in awhile, he needed to run at night or even after dinner. He’d feel like his skin was too tight and he’d know that doing anything but running wouldn’t make him feel any better. When he was in his world, he’d run with whoever was at the house, if his Aaron wasn’t available.
Running in his new world meant running alone more often than not. With Aaron’s new work hours before and after the normal time for the rest of the BAU, Spencer was spending more time with Jack. Alex was in the unit and she was fitting in well with all of them. Garcia had been very upset with it all. She hadn’t gotten over Aaron moving to Section Chief well at all. Morgan still hadn’t accepted the fact that Aaron had moved up. Spencer had been using Grace to put off Morgan all week. While the unit was getting settled in with the new changes, Aaron was keeping them grounded. The other teams were picking up the slack. Spencer was working on consults of cases that were active in the country and it was helping him stay sane with all of the inactivity.
It was quiet out given the twilight hours. There were people driving past but not a lot of walkers. Spencer kept his mind active and didn’t think on too many things when he ran later in the day. It was a Friday night and since the area was mainly residential and not a lot of bars or late night haunts, the area was nice and quiet. It’s why Spencer ran there.
As Spencer passed an alley his eyes swept down the street and he had a split second to react to the man who was there. Spencer spun but the man grabbed him still. Spencer grabbed the arm that had a hold of his and spun into his body. Spencer planted his feet and pulled on the arm. The man’s momentum rolled him over Spencer’s body and he landed on the ground. Spencer quickly grabbed his arms and pinned them behind his back and he kneed into the area just below. The man let out a breath as Spencer’s full weight pushed into him from that single point.
“FBI!” Spencer near screamed in the man’s ear. It wasn’t until he sat back a little but still all of his weight was on the man that he realized that not only was the man not even fighting but that he had a pair of cuffs on the back of his pants. He looked up at the man’s head, he’d know that back of ahead anywhere. “Morgan?”
Spencer didn’t even get up or release him. He just sat there and looked down at the face of the man who was his teammate.
“What the hell were you thinking?”
“I didn’t even realize that you didn’t see me until I was eating asphalt. I am sorry, man. I was just wanting to talk and I saw you running from a block away.”
Spencer shoved Morgan’s face down into the ground before he stood up and stepped away from the man all together. He looked around and saw that there were people looking at them. Morgan pushed himself up and brushed his clothes off. He was frowning at Spencer.
“Not here. Whatever it is, not here.”
“We are a few blocks from your place.”
“No. Not there either. Jack’s bedroom shares walls with mine and I won’t have him woken up from you screaming at me. We will go to the park.” Spencer knew that there was one nearby that would work for what they wanted. It didn’t close at sundown and was usually empty after dark as there was no sport facilities and only a running/walking track.
“Reid, I just want to talk.”
“And you are already worked up and you yell when you are upset. It’s the park or nowhere.” Spencer reached behind his back and check the glock there. It was one that he had found out that had been Aaron’s the other Spencer had used to kill an UnSub. It had been in a lockbox under Spencer’s bed and he’d found it when he’d moved. He’d learned how to shoot on it from his own Aaron and had started to carry it after he’d found it, in addition to the revolver that was Spencer’s normal piece. It was registered to him as Spencer had taken care of that when Aaron had given it to him. The weight was a nice reminder.
“Fine.” Morgan started towards the park.
“I’m going to get a drink and I need to relax my muscles. If you want to walk with me fine.”
“I’ll get your drink. What do you want?”
“The shop has it, don’t worry. Unsweet London Fog.” Spencer pointed at the small coffee shop that was open twenty four hours. Morgan nodded and moved towards it. Spencer jogged across the street at the intersection and watched Morgan with his drink the entire time. He went through his cooling down stretches as he watched as well.
Morgan was quick with getting the drink and even ran across the street. He handed the drink over to Spencer. There was a splash stick in the cup and Spencer pulled it out before he took a sip. He sighed in happiness. Morgan was looking him up and down.
“What did you want to discuss?” Spencer asked him.
“You. For months now you’ve been different. I talked to JJ about it and she said you were finding your footing after Prentiss’ return. You were finding and showing your spine finally. But there is something more and there has been something more going on for a long time. I know that you’ve never been that open with even showing any part of your body but I think that we would have known about your scars before now. You played a good game in getting Ford to confess, and with helping my cousin tell you the truth of what happened to her but there is no way that YOU faked any of that. So tell me exactly who you are because you are not my Spencer Reid.”
“You really think that someone would be able to hide who they really are from the entire team. For how long?”
“I think six months. There is the whole everyone has a doppelganger out there but your brain…you are smart. And I’ve been looking for surgery scars but I can’t find one.”
“So you wanted to confront me in a park in the dark? With no gun?” Spencer asked.
“It’s not like I couldn’t take you, whether I hurt you or not is another story.” Morgan looked like he was bracing himself for something. Spencer just smirked at him. There was an area that was a little more secluded just a few dozen feet away. Spencer brought his drink up and moved over to that area. Morgan, the idiot, actually followed him over there. Spencer drained his drink and threw the cup away before moving to towards the bench on the edge of the grass. He pulled his gun from behind his back and set it down. He heard the intake of breath that meant that Morgan had seen it and was shocked.
Morgan was paying more attention to the gun and not Spencer so the blitz attack was a complete shock to him. Spencer knew how the man fighted and had been trained extensively in being able to fight men with Morgan’s build. There was also Spencer’s training in Japan. He knew more weak spots in the human body than combat trained Morgan did.
“Reid!” Morgan screamed as legs were swept out from under him. Spencer watched as his body fell and the dark skinned agent was preparing to roll into it and pop up away from where Spencer was. Spencer moved and as soon as Morgan’s head had stopped moving, he easily delivered a blow to the side of his head with his foot. It wasn’t enough to give him a concussion but it was aimed right at the side of his head where his ear canal was, it was meant to disorient. Morgan blinked several times as he tried to roll onto his stomach to push himself up. As soon as the man made it to hands and knees, Spencer was right there behind him, grabbed his shoulder and digging into the meat. Morgan’s arm gave out and he crashed to his face. Spencer grabbed his arm and pulled it up behind his body before he settled on Morgan’s legs. Spencer’s other hand went for his hip, grabbing a nerve there that caused Morgan to spasm and go all the way down.
“Do you yield?” Spencer asked.
“Reid, just let me go,” Morgan said. It wasn’t quite a plea but still it wasn’t what he wanted. Spencer jerked on the arm he had behind the man’s back and heard the pop that told him he’d taken Morgan’s arm out of his socket. It was one of the first things that Derek had ever taught him after he’d come to live with Aaron.
“Do you yield?” Spencer asked over Morgan’s scream.
“I do.” Morgan sounded defeated
Spencer tossed the hurt arm away from himself before he stood up and moved over to where his gun was. He picked it up and snapped off the safety. Morgan had rolled to his side, his hurt arm up and cradled into his body. The man was looking at him with fear and anger on his face.
“Come by Aaron’s in the morning when you are calmer and I’m less likely to seriously harm you. If I see you before then or you call Aaron before I make it home, I’ll put a knife in your gut or a bullet in your brain.” Spencer slipped the gun into holster at his back again before he moved back to Morgan. He nudged the out of socket arm and when Morgan rolled onto his back to get away from him, Spencer straddled his chest and leaned down to get in his face. Morgan was panting from the pain and not a small amount of fear. “You are very correct that I am not your Spencer Reid but I am a Spencer Reid. The physics of it all are much beyond your idiotic brain so I won’t even go into it but I have made a life here and nothing is going to ruin that, not even you. If you even breathe a word of this to anyone else, Derek Morgan, I’ll make you wish that you had died. I’ll make you want to eat your gun.”
“Reid, man…you are scaring me.” Morgan didn’t look like he believed him and Spencer was thankful for that.
“Come to breakfast at Aaron’s. Be there by nine. I can’t stand people who are late so be there on time or else, Agent Morgan.” Spencer pushed himself up to his feet, hitting Morgan’s shoulder as he did. He didn’t even look back at the agent as he walked away. He wasn’t afraid of anything. Aaron would make him see reason and it would all be fine.
Spencer jogged back to the building and instead of going to his own place to change he let himself into Aaron’s. Jack was in his pajamas in the living room reading. It was past his bedtime and by the look on Jack’s face he had been asleep. It must have been a nightmare.
“I’ll be right back, Jack.”
“Okay.” Jack’s eyes followed Spencer as he went back to the bedroom where he found Aaron turning down his bed for the night. He kissed the older man’s cheek before he slipped into the bathroom.
Five minutes later, he was stepping back out, naked, toweling his hair off. He wasn’t going to get it totally dry because Jack needed cuddles. Aaron handed over his sleep clothes and took over toweling his hair while he dressed.
“Yes. He said he’s fine but I don’t know. He doesn’t want to talk about it with me. Maybe he will with you.”
“I left my phone in my place. Do you mind going and getting it?” Spencer asked. Talk of Morgan could wait, Jack needed him.
Spencer kissed his lips in thanks before he moved out to the living room where Jack was still where he had been but he was also still on the same page of the book. Spencer sat down on the couch and patted his lap. Jack threw the book down to the floor and flung himself into Spencer’s arms. Spencer settled him down to where Jack’s back was to the arm of the couch and he was tucked into his body.
“What did you dream about?” Spencer asked.
“That dad died.”
“Why don’t you want to talk to him about it?”
“I…” Jack shook his head and buried his face in Spencer’s shirt. Aaron moved from the bedroom area out the door to get Spencer’s phone.
“You have to talk about it Jack. If you don’t want to talk to me about it, we can call your doctor and see if she will talk with you tomorrow. But you have to talk about it.”
“Yes, he does. He talks to me.”
“Does he?” Jack asked.
Spencer knew that it wasn’t a dodge. There was something that Aaron was either keeping from him or lied to him about and Jack knew it. That could wait for another day though. Tonight was about Jack and then it was going to be about Morgan and neither Spencer nor Aaron needed to be raw considering what was going to happen in the morning.
“He does, Jack.”
“Even about what Bad Man George did to him?”
“Even about him. So tell me what you dreamed about.”
“Dad died on a case and it was sad.”
“And?” Spencer knew there was more to it than that. He knew that in the aftermath of Foyet, Jack had dreamed that time and time again. The door opened softly and Spencer looked up at Aaron.
“I was happy that you hadn’t died as well,” Jack said all in near whisper. There was no way that Aaron had heard that and for now it was a good thing.
“There is nothing wrong with that. You used to dream the same thing only it was your Aunt Jessica who was alive. It just means that you really like me and that you see me as someone who protects you. That’s all it is.”
“Do you promise?” Jack asked.
“I do. It doesn’t mean that you love your dad less but that you’ve made me part of your family.” Spencer kissed the top of his head and started to rub his back. Jack seemed to just go limp with the knowledge that he hadn’t done something wrong. His breathing even out but Spencer didn’t want to move him.
“What happened?” Aaron asked as he moved over to help Spencer stand up when he was sure that the boy was dead to the world.
“He had a dream that you had died and he was happy that I hadn’t. He didn’t understand that it wasn’t a wish for you to die but that he was seeing me like family. He’d only had those dreams with Jessica before and his relationship with her was never questioned so he could understand that. The relationship with me and your Spencer is a lot different so he thought that he was choosing me over you. Tomorrow we are going to let him sleep as long as he wants and if he wakes up before nine we will figure something out.”
“Why nine?” Aaron asked.
Spencer shook his head as he laid Jack down in his bed and covered him up. Aaron took it as it was meant that he just needed to keep quiet until Jack was down. Aaron was already in the hallway when Spencer was sure that Jack wouldn’t wake from the change in positions. The light was already off in the room so he back out and closed the door halfway. Aaron pulled him into the bedroom as soon as he could.
“What happens at nine?”
“Morgan shows up to discuss the fact that I am not this world’s Spencer Reid. He surprised me on my run. He was stalking me, Aaron. I don’t…I didn’t take it well and when he sort of threatened me, I subdued him and dislocated his shoulder.” Spencer made his voice take on a watery quality. Aaron wrapped his arms around him.
“We will deal with him in the morning. I am not shocked that someone else has caught on. You’ve been lucky.”
“Strip and get in bed.” Aaron moved to the bathroom where he started to do his own bedtime routine.
Spencer did as he asked and laid down with his hands up. Aaron would affix the cuffs as soon as he laid down. Aaron didn’t take long at all to get into bed. He attached the cuffs to Spencer and then laid down and wrapped himself around him. Spencer knew that he’d messed up with Morgan but it had felt good. He just hoped that it could be saved. That he hadn’t screwed the other Spencer’s life that much with his instance of letting go.
Spencer was nervous. He was pacing around the bedroom only half-dressed. He wore jeans and had a t-shirt laid out, but once he put it on, it was going to make what they were going to do real. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for another disappointment. This time Aaron was coming along. He sat in the vanity chair and put his head between his legs to quell the butterflies in his stomach. He heard the door open and the soft fall of steps, then Aaron was right there in front of him.
Spencer didn’t even question it as he stood. Aaron pulled something out of the box his collars were in. It was the key to the one he was wearing. Without saying a word, Aaron was taking it off and putting it back in the cabinet. Spencer stood there frowning and waited a moment to see what Aaron was going to do. When he picked up the platinum set, Spencer almost protested, but a finger was laid on his lips stopping him.
“I want you to have this. I want you to have something from me.” Aaron secured the collar around his neck, the cuffs around his wrists and the nipple rings he replaced. He then held Spencer’s hand out and placed the cufflinks, the ring, the bracelet, and the thin leash with the chain that matched the set in it. “I never got to see you with an earring.”
“You’re scaring me Aaron. You’re acting like this is actually going to work.”
“I don’t think I’ve seen Charlie this confident. He is very much of the mind that it will work. Put your shirt on, we’ll have dinner, then we’ll go.”
Spencer slipped the items in his pocket then put the shirt on. They made their way to the dining room in silence. When Spencer saw Jack his heart broke as he went to the boy and pulled him in close, hugging him.
“I love you,” Spencer whispered in his ear. “I will miss you Jack.”
The boy wrapped his arms around Spencer’s neck. The three of them had talked earlier in the day about what was going to happen and the possibilities. There was a part of Spencer that didn’t want to say goodbye.
He let the boy go and wiped away the tears that fell. Jack was silent as they sat around the table having dinner. When they were done, Spencer hugged the boy once more, then he and Aaron left for the lab.
Spencer walked in and got his breathing under control. This was it, he knew whatever happened this time, it was going to be the last, it had to be, none of them could keep going like they were. It would be painful, but Aaron and Spencer would have to accept whatever came next.
Aaron took him in his arms and held him close.
“Whatever happens, I have regretted nothing that has happened between us.” Aaron bussed a kiss on Spencer’s forehead, then let him go. He nodded his head then turned and went to the long desk that was all along one of the walls. He picked-up his notebook and went over the new sets of numbers.
“Okay, I’m going to start up.” Charlie said as he began to bring the collider on line. The tension in the air was palpable, but Spencer did the best he could to block it all out, he didn’t want any distractions as he watched the numbers on the computer outside of the main lab.
“Alright, we’re all set. Spencer, if you please.” Spencer nodded then went inside the lab. With notebook in hand he took down the numbers and when he looked at the computer he saw it was all like that day. He turned his head and smiled at Charlie.
The collider was still coming online and Spencer kept his head. His heart was pounding as he heard the mechanical sounds of the start-up. The tension inside the room and out you could cut with a knife.
The machine slowly came to full power, the first part of the experiment Charlie started-up. The numbers showed the particles doing what they needed to do.
The numbers held steady as Spencer kept taking down the calculations His hands were shaking because this was the closest they had ever gotten.
“Okay Spencer, I’m ready, are you?”
Spencer took a deep breath and looked around him. When he looked out of the glass shielding he locked eyes with Aaron and nodded.
“Here we go, in 5…4…3…2…” The particles were released into the machine. The noises being made had Spencer whipping his head around to the computers and he stared at them, wide-eyed. Then the klaxons started to ring and blast doors locked. This was real, this was happening and Spencer looked-up once more to see Aaron standing there, tears fell as they looked at each other.
Aaron watched helplessly for a moment and knew, he knew this was it.
“I love you,” Aaron mouthed just seconds before Spencer broke eye contact and made for the same area as the first time hiding for cover.
Then the blast, then….blackness.