Slowly Spencer was waking up and felt the heavy weight of an arm around his waist and leg thrown over his own. That was the first clue something was different. The other Aaron only snuggled up and wrapped an arm around him. The second clue was when he opened his eyes the room was all white. He groaned as he buried his face in the pillow.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Spencer slumped down on the bed and knew he was in a hospital room.
“Well, there was no way that I wasn’t going to have you checked out, Pet.” Spencer stilled and if anyone had been looking at him at the moment they would say that his expression was almost comical, even though the situation wasn’t. He swallowed hard as his breath shallowed, almost afraid to move, afraid to hope that what he heard was real. Letting out the breath he was holding and not moving, he knew he had to know.
“S-Sir?” Spencer started to shake with the knowledge that he just might be home.
“Oh god,” Spencer cried out as he turned around and clung to Aaron. His hands felt along Aaron’s back and the familiar scars were there. He pulled back a moment to look at his lover’s face and saw the close shaved beard, and that hungry look in his eyes. “It’s you, it really is you.”
“Yes, Spencer, it’s me.” He was engulfed in a strong embrace and for the first time since Aaron had taken him in, he cried. This wasn’t just a quick crying jag, this was a hard, emotional purge. Once he started, he couldn’t control it, and everything he had been trying to hold in over the last six months came pouring out. Aaron just held him tight, arms around his back and legs entwined making him feel safer than he had been in such a long time.
While the club had helped, it still wasn’t the same. And the other Aaron was still just learning, but it wasn’t even that. He couldn’t put into words what it was other than he was home. The kisses and touches and being held so tight in Aaron’s arms were all helping to ground him.
“Hey, you’re home love, you’re home.” Aaron couldn’t help the lump in his own throat, but he wasn’t going to cry. He had done that silently as Spencer slept in his arms after he had dug him out of the room with the collider.
“Aaron, I was so lost, but I did what you always told me. I survived, I survived to come back to you.”
“You did and nothing is going to take you away again. He promised that he was going to tell Dr. Epps they had to destroy the Collider so this never happens again.”
All Spencer could do was nod his head and curl up on Aaron’s body. The oh so familiar scent of him. He had missed the smell of Aaron’s cologne and that underlying smell that was so uniquely him. Spencer buried his nose against Aaron’s neck and took a deep breath.
The two men stayed like that, entwined in each other till the Doctor came in the room.
“Mr. Hotchner, Dr. Reid, I need to check you over Dr. Reid, and if you are feeling okay and there are no concussions, I feel pretty confident that I can release you.” Spencer felt that Aaron was reluctant to let him go, and he knew the man wasn’t going to let him out of his sight for quite a while. At least not till they were both settled more.
“It’s okay, I want to get out of here, but the Doctor won’t release me unless you let me go Aaron.” Spencer smiled and waited till Aaron moved in and gave him a kiss. It was soft but no less possessive, and Spencer wanted more, so much more, but he knew they needed to wait. Finally, Aaron let him go and nodded his head at the Doctor.
Spencer watched as Aaron stood and grabbed a bag then went into the bathroom. He knew himself that he wasn’t going to let Aaron out of his sight for a long time. He may have prevented the drop he had known was coming, but it didn’t mean, that now that he was home it wouldn’t come fast and hard. Swallowing he turned to the Doctor and nodded.
She quickly did a fast physical, checked his eyes, his ears, asked if he had any headaches or problems with his hearing. He said no to everything, and felt fine. After asking several questions about the date, who was President, and other baseline questions, she seemed satisfied.
“Okay, it looks like there is no concussion, but if you feel like something is wrong, please follow-up with your own Doctor as soon as possible. I’m not going to give you medication, you seem to have come through fairly okay. Just take it easy for a day or two. I’ll have a nurse come in with your paperwork, and as soon as you sign, you’re free to go.”
“Thank you.” Spencer watched her leave then heard Aaron coming back into the room. He had changed into casual trousers and a polo shirt.
“Someone is outside to see. Do you think you’re up for visitors?”
Spencer wondered who it could be, and could only nod. He was still a little emotional, and until he and Aaron could be alone in the playroom, he would probably feel like this till then.
“It’s okay Pet,” Aaron smiled as he opened the door and Jack practically flew inside. Spencer had been standing, but as soon as he saw Jack his knees buckled and he fell to the floor holding his arms open. Jack didn’t hesitate as he flung himself into Spencer’s arms.
“Papa, Papa, is it really you?” Jack cried as the young boy buried his head against Spencer’s neck.
“Yes Jack, it’s me,” Spencer whispered in Jack’s ear, the lump in his throat not letting him talk much louder. His arms had wrapped around the boy and he held on tight. “I missed you so much Jack, so very much. Not a day went by I didn’t wish you were there.”
“Pops said there was a Jack in his world. Did he take care of you, Papa?”
Spencer didn’t want to think about the young boy he left behind, it would break his heart too much. But, having his Jack in his arms went a long way in helping to let go.
“He was younger than you are, but so much like you, but no one will replace you in my heart, Jack.” Man and boy held on to each other a little longer, and only breaking apart when the nurse came in to give Spencer his discharge papers. Standing up, he excused himself and went to the bathroom. Laid out on the lid of the toilet was a set of clothes and, to his surprise, a pair of converse. Spencer almost laughed and would certainly be asking about that later.
He turned and looked in the mirror and tried to find any signs that he had changed while in the other reality. But, he didn’t find anything, all he saw was himself as he always had been. He frowned a moment and wondered if that was such a bad thing. He knew that his counterpart would be going back changed, there was no way that being with his Aaron wouldn’t have changed him. He almost wished he could see it. He felt like he had gotten to know the other Spencer quite well, and knew the hidden heart and strength of the man. He smiled at his reflection and knew that those the other Spencer loved were not going to know what hit them. He also hoped that Aaron wasn’t going to take advantage and just think he was going to pick-up where he and Aaron had left off. A different Spencer, a different set of circumstances. He didn’t envy the two men at all, he knew they might have a rocky road. He hoped that he laid enough of a foundation for Aaron to see what he has with the man that returned to him. If not, the implosion would be devastating for them both.
Taking another moment to splash water on his face, he picked up the jeans Aaron had brought him. They were his favorite pair. He slipped the underwear, then the jeans on and looked to see the t-shirt, and on the back of the door was a casual jacket. The clothes were familiar and a comfort. He put the shirt on, then sat down and put the socks and shoes on. Finally feeling better he slipped back out and saw Aaron and Jack smiling, waiting for him.
“There you are,” Aaron said as he walked to him and fingered the collar on his neck. “I have one more thing.” Aaron pulled the overnight bag to him and pulled out the black and purple collar that was one of his favorites. His body shook with the anticipation of having it around his neck once again. Aaron took the one he had on, off him, then put the other on, and Spencer couldn’t help closing his eyes and feeling like for the first time that he was home.
Fingers touched his cheek as a hand wrapped around his waist. He could almost feel what Aaron wanted but knew they had to wait till they got home.
“Come on, let’s get you home where we can talk.”
Spencer stepped closer and kissed Aaron, his fingers digging into Aaron’s sides.
“I don’t want to talk, Sir.”
“I need you, I need the playroom. I barely held it together, please, Sir.” Spencer was close to begging as Aaron wrapped an arm around him.
“Okay. We’ll start there.” Spencer stayed tucked up against Aaron, with Jack on his other side, the three of them walked out of the hospital. The drive home was thankfully quick and when they got inside no one tried to accost them.
Spencer spent a little time with Jack, the boy not wanting to leave his side. He knew this too was going to take a while to break him of, but truly Spencer didn’t mind. He had his son back, and just that went a long way to healing his heart. Leaving the boy in the library, Spencer made his way to his and Aaron’s bedroom.
Stepping inside was both like a homecoming and odd at the same time. There were little things around the room that spoke of the other Spencer. He wasn’t sure what to make of that. He let it go for now as he stepped towards the closet and took off his clothes. He knew Aaron was close, but not exactly sure where he was. It didn’t matter, he was used to waiting for hours if necessary. After putting the clothes away he reached under the bed and pulled out the sub bench and kneeling on it, he closed his eyes and began to feel more grounded in this singular moment than he had in the last six month.
“Look at you, so eager for me aren’t you Pet?”
“Yes, Sir.” Spencer swallowed hard and waited in anticipation.
“Are you sure you’re ready Pet? You don’t want some time to adjust to being back home?”
“No. Please, Sir.” Aaron wondered if his time in the other world had marked him at all. He recognized the edges of subdrop right away and knew Spencer needed the centering. He stood in front of his Spencer and something in his heart stuttered. Here was his love, the man he gave everything to and smiled. Aaron looked over at the box of collars that belonged to the other Spencer and knew he was going to have to say goodbye. Though he had grown to love him, and probably would have continued to love him if he never got his Spencer back, but it wasn’t the same. He didn’t feel the same possessiveness, the same all-consuming passion that he had for his Pet. Taking a deep breath he slid his fingers in Spencer’s hair and gripped him hard. The length was almost perfect.
“Please what?” Aaron demanded and Spencer let out a little shiver. This was what he missed. The hard edge in Aaron’s voice, the fingers curled possessively in his hair, the demands from his Sir on what he wanted.
“Please, hurt me, fuck me, use me, please.” Spencer was more than willing to beg for what he wanted.
“Open your mouth.” Spencer kept his eyes closed and complied. He hadn’t heard Aaron undoing his pants, but when he felt the head of Aaron’s cock slip into his mouth he moaned in pleasure. Aaron didn’t let him go, his head was held still as a hand was gently wrapped around his throat. Spencer almost dropped into subspace right there but kept control. He didn’t want it quite that quickly, but the feeling of being truly safe with Aaron gave him a heady rush. He relaxed his throat and moaned as Aaron used his mouth so perfectly.
“Are you still mine, Pet?” Aaron pulled out and Spencer almost whined at the loss. He looked up and felt the love he had for his Aaron fill his heart. He had buried it down, protected it and let nothing and nobody touch it.
Aaron kept the grip in Spencer’s hair as his eyes narrowed and hardened.
“You felt nothing for him?” Aaron needed to know where Spencer’s mind was at.
“I cared about him, about how he was hurting Spencer. But, I’m yours always, Aaron.”
Aaron couldn’t help the swell of emotion as he pulled his hand away from Spencer’s throat. He also felt sad for his counterpart. He knew his Spencer quite well and knew the game he had probably played with the man to help keep himself centered. He wondered if the other man would figure it out. If he was as smart as Kitten said he was, eventually he would. He put all thought of other worlds, other Spencer’s and Aaron’s out of his mind and let himself settle knowing that he had his love back.
“Stand.” Aaron let Spencer go and the man stood and moved towards the cabinet. “Getting cheeky now?” Aaron breathed in his ear as arms came around him. He leaned back and closed his eyes and felt so very normal.
“I’m sorry. I just need it so much.” Aaron caressed his chest, his fingers going right to the rune and felt the shiver that came over Spencer. A hand settled on his belly, fingers pulling slightly on the ring. Spencer let out a gasp and his cock filled, anticipation curled low in his stomach as Aaron touched him.
“Maybe I should just tie you to the bed and keep you hard and leaking for hours. Only let you cum when I want you to. Leave you there, wondering when I’m coming back as I work in the other room. Hmmm? Should I do that Pet? Or, the playroom. Give you a new mark or two. Take you to the edge or your limits and just as you’re screaming I bury my cock inside you and fuck you so hard you’ll feel it everytime you move. Is that what you want?”
Spencer was shaking with such need that he almost couldn’t answer. When a hand moved up and gripped his hair hard and pulled his head back, a tongue licked up his cheek as the grip around his waist turned more possessive.
“Answer me, or you wait till I want to use you again.” Aaron knew it wouldn’t take much, but knowing how much Spencer needed what only he could give he needed to know what Spencer wanted.
“Playroom, please,” Spencer practically whined. Aaron kissed his neck then moved away. He stood there in front of the cabinet as anticipation ramped up inside him. A moment later Aaron was unlocking the cabinet and letting Spencer choose what he wanted.
When he grabbed the whip with sharp edges to the tail, the short hardened bamboo cane, and the stiletto, Aaron knew he wanted very hard play and new marks.
“You sure love?”
Aaron put the items on the bed and pulled out a new set of nipple and belly rings he had bought when he purchased the platinum and peridot set. These were also platinum and had gem quality amethyst teardrops. They were specially cut to be weighted at the bottom of the drop. He changed out the simple hoops and put the new ones in.
“Our favorite jeweler had these specially cut just for us. Do you like?”
Spencer closed his eyes and felt the pull and loved it.
“Yes, Sir.” He swayed a little, the feeling was delicious and something he had missed.
“There’s a set, for when we go out. I’ll show you later.” Spencer eyed Aaron a moment and knew there was something more going on with his lover, but he would wait. He didn’t want a confrontation, not till he was fully settled and he wouldn’t fully settle till after he got what he wanted.
His eyes were still closed when the click of the leash on his collar had him opening his eyes. A purple and black silk robe was being wrapped around him, and it made him smile about the surprise he had left in Spencer’s closet. He hoped the man would find them soon, of course, he wouldn’t know, but it made him happy to know that they were there. He also hoped that Spencer had come to learn how to pamper himself. He had to admit that he had missed the luxury and the pampering he got from his Aaron.
“And just why do you look like the Cheshire Cat, Pet?”
“Just a few surprises I left for the other Spencer. Really, Aaron, you should have seen the state of his closet.” Spencer shuddered a moment thinking about the clothes he had bagged up and left at the local charity shop.
“And I think I turned you into a clothes snob.” Aaron smirked as he kissed Spencer. It was a little peck but it was, to Spencer, the best thing in the world.
“Later, I’m going to ask about the shoes.” Spencer bit his lip and pleaded with his eyes to just get on with it already. Aaron softly chuckled and ran his knuckles over Spencer’s face.
“There are journals for you to read. I didn’t look at them, I gave him that privacy. Later, you can read them. Come on, I know you’re anxious.” Aaron grabbed the leash and started walking without saying a thing. Spencer had no choice but to follow, and it was so achingly familiar that it let him quickly fall easily into his submission.
By the time he was hooked up to the St. Andrews Cross, Spencer was practically vibrating with need. Then the first crack of the whip, the shallow cuts to his skin, the noise it made, the surety with which Aaron wielded the instrument it all went straight to Spencer’s head. His body relaxed almost immediately and he was floating, falling, but felt more secure than he had in months.
When Aaron fisted his hand in his hair, he settled even more.
“Tell me how you are.”
“Green, so green, please, Sir, more…” Spencer’s mouth dropped open as he stared at Aaron, his eyes slightly unfocused. A searing kiss was placed on his lips, and he whimpered at the possessiveness of it all. Aaron pulled back and gave him a little water, checked his eyes and his pulse as he ran a hand all over his back, scraping at the welts causing Spencer to hiss at the feeling.
“More of the whip? I want you on the table strapped down after I fuck you,” Aaron whispered in Spencer’s ear.
“Yes, yes please,” he begged.
Aaron pulled back and gave him 15 more strikes, each one more exquisite than the last. The pain turned to pleasure and he was moaning against each crack of the whip as his cock filled, but was restrained by a cage.
Another check, another kiss then he heard the whoosh of Aaron testing out the cane. He kept his eyes closed, the anticipation was delicious as he gripped the wood of the cross. The first expert crack against his back had him bowing into the pain. He cried out. He couldn’t see what Aaron was doing, but he knew the man was mapping out his strikes, knowing just where the hit and how hard was his specialty. Spencer had almost cum once when he watched a young, pretty sub be dominated by Aaron. She wanted the cane but didn’t quite trust her partner with it yet. The club had approached Aaron, who agreed. He had then spent some time teaching the young man what to do over the course of a few weeks. But all Spencer remembered at the moment was watching the power and precision of his lover. That precision was currently trained on him, and when a particularly hard blow landed on his thigh, he screamed as he slumped against the cross.
A moment later he felt fingers at his hole, he leaned back as much as he could as Aaron wrapped an arm around his chest. Fingers were replaced with Aaron’s cock which he shoved in hard and fast making Spencer cry out.
“God I missed you,” Aaron moaned at the feeling of Spencer’s tight heat around him as he pounded hard inside him. He knew he was rubbing against the welts and slight cuts all over Spencer’s back making his lover scream even more.
“Sir!” Spencer could only wrap his fingers around the beams of the cross as best as he could. And when Aaron reached up and wrapped his fingers around Spencer’s holding him there, Spencer started falling hard and fast into that space he had been denied for so long. While he had achieved subspace at the club, it was mild because he wanted to always be aware. He had needed to stay aware to keep himself safe.
“Missed you, missed being inside you, hurting you, giving you pleasure,” Aaron murmured against Spencer’s neck as he thrust in harder then pulled back and thrust in again. “Close, so close love.” His grip on Spencer’s hands became like steel as his rhythm faltered and he thrust in hard once more and came inside his sub. Spencer was slumped against the restraints and Aaron carefully removed them and guided him over to the table. It wasn’t lost on him that Spencer was leaking, but the cock cage kept him from coming. Aaron had plans to keep him on edge all night long.
“Tell me how you are?” Aaron asked as he attached the restraints to Spencer so he stayed secure on the table. As he was touching everywhere he could, Aaron noticed the bite mark. Seeing it almost threw him out of his headspace, but he figured that Spencer had a good explanation for it. He set it aside and would talk later, now wasn’t the time for it.
“I’m good, Sir,” Spencer slurred just slightly, then he looked up at his Dom and smiled as he tilted his head towards the table, almost begging for what was to come.
Aaron picked up the stiletto and smiled.
The luxury of the bath Spencer had missed. Aaron added a little peroxide and other antiseptics in the water to help keep the cuts clean. The antiseptic soap helped as well. Spencer was floating, and his body was more relaxed that it had been since the switch. After the first cuts of the knife, Spencer dropped so hard into subspace that it took Aaron a while to pull him back just enough that he still floated.
“Thank you, Sir,” Spencer slurred as he floated in the water, only being loosely held by Aaron.
“We both needed it.” Aaron pulled Spencer to him and settled his lover on his lap. He knew that he wasn’t going to let Spencer out of his sight for a long time. He had overseen the destruction of the collider, and Charlie didn’t protest. The scientist understood the ramifications, even if the science was still just a tad beyond even his comprehension. He was still trying to understand exactly why it reacted the way it did when the real Hadron Collider had never had that reaction.
When the explosion happened, and Aaron saw Spencer getting into that small space his heart had dropped into his stomach, and when Derek held him back till the fire suppression could kick in, he thought he had lost both of them. Spencer had been so still. When the locks finally disengaged, Aaron ran in, not caring if there was any possible radiation, which, thankfully, there wasn’t. With a strength even he didn’t know he had, he was shoving debris out of the way to get to Spencer. The first thing he did after pulling the man out was to take off his shirt. When he saw the rune, the relief that went through him, was like nothing he had ever felt.
He had gently picked Spencer up in his arms and laid him in the back of the SUV he had driven to the lab in, he didn’t want an ambulance coming to this facility. It would be cleaned out and anything they were doing would be buried so very deep that no one would be able to find it. Of course, only a few minds in the world could even comprehend what had even gone on. He was brought out of his thoughts by Spencer straddling his legs and doing everything he could to make him hard again. Which didn’t take very long. He knew Spencer needed this, and for the time being, he would let the man have control, find his center again. He didn’t mind, and as Spencer slid down on his cock he shuddered at the pleasure. He then wondered if he could talk him into the Prince Albert, he had enjoyed it immensely on his Kitten, he would love it even more on his Pet.
“You feel so good Pet,” Aaron growled as he wrapped his hands around his lover’s waist, holding him but not guiding him. This was all for Spencer.
“Need you so much,” Spencer gripped Aaron’s shoulders, his fingers digging in. By the moan coming from his Sir, he knew his doppelganger probably never exploited Aaron’s own pain kink. He moved up and down as he bent and kissed Aaron, missing how possessive they were of each other. He really didn’t think the other Aaron truly got it. Spencer would burn the world for his Aaron. He would destroy anything and anyone that tried to come after him. He had lost hope for a short-time, but he never gave in, couldn’t as long as there was a chance to get back home.
“Close, so close,” He mumbled against the lips pressing against his. He pulled back and looked in Aaron’s eyes and knew he was close as well.
“Come, my Pet,” Aaron dug his fingers in Spencer’s waist, he knew he was going to leave marks. He thrust up hard to match the movements of Spencer riding his cock and it felt wonderful. Then when Spencer cried out as he came, Aaron thrust up hard and followed right behind. Panting he wrapped his arms around Spencer and pulled him close. They stayed like that, holding each other settling even more in the knowledge they were back together.
“Come on, let’s get you out and I want to check your new marks.” Spencer shivered a little and smiled. He wanted to touch them, but they were too new. It wouldn’t take long to heal, they never did, especially with the care Aaron took of them.
After getting out, Aaron carefully dried Spencer and had him sit on the toilet so he could check to make sure the cuts were closing up like they should. He didn’t see any new bleeding, but he dressed them anyway, using an antibiotic cream, then gauze to keep the wounds clean. He knew there was nothing deep on Spencer’s back and was confident they were already closed and didn’t need much attention. They were very shallow and would heal on their own.
“Are you hungry?”
Spencer was still fairly high, but his stomach growled.
“If you want, we can eat in bed, you can read the journals if you want, or if you want to ask me questions we can talk.”
“Bed sounds good. And I’d like to read the journals.” Aaron helped him into the bedroom and got him dressed in comfortable clothes. Spencer sat up in bed with several pillows propping him up. He couldn’t help looking around and seeing evidence of the other Spencer here and there. The box of collars, little knick knacks, books on the nightstand, a pair of glasses that he just knew would never be used again. He frowned and thought that he should be jealous, but he wasn’t, or at least he wasn’t aware if he was or not.
Looking to the nightstand Spencer pulled open the drawer and took out the journals that were there. Where he had preferred to write everything out on the computer, the other Spencer had liked to handwrite. It didn’t surprise Spencer to see the handwritten journals. He saw that they were in date order and organized them that way before he started to read.
Spencer was halfway through the first one when Aaron came back with two trays in his arms. Smiling, he took one and smelled his favorite soup, french onion with lots of cheese on top and he knew a large homemade crouton on the bottom. Next to it was a sandwich and a small plate of fruit, cheese, and nuts.
“Perfect,” he practically moaned as he took his first bite. He ate slowly as he took the journal in his hand again and read while he ate. He was going to leave any questions for Aaron till he got through them all.
The food was done, the tray long was gone. Aaron only came in to check on him and make sure he was okay. Water and fresh coffee would be left for him from time to time. He wasn’t going to stop till he had read every word. He noticed there were some references to schoolwork and publications he had finished with exact dates and times of submissions. As well as a date to defend the Anthropology masters and instructions on if he wanted to pursue the Ph.D.
There were things that upset him, but he tamped down on his jealousy and anger till he got through everything. Once done, he set them all back inside the drawer and took out the photo album. He looked through it and knew he had made the right move when it came to Jack. He knew before even reading the letters to his mother that the other Spencer was coming to love his Jack, even if he hadn’t admitted to himself. At least he knew that relationship was going to be strong, no matter what happened to Aaron and Spencer.
Thinking of the other Aaron, Spencer knew he should feel something, but it just wasn’t there. He had said the words, mostly to settle himself, to make himself keep his Aaron in his heart. Though he came to care about the other man, and he didn’t lie when he told Jackson he would burn the world, for whatever Aaron he was involved in, it wasn’t love. Not like he felt for his own Aaron. It was greedy and possessive, but he didn’t feel the love.
However, when he looked around the room he had a suspicion that his Aaron had fallen in love. Or, he wondered, could it be the idea of Spencer that he fell for? He wouldn’t know until he was able to talk to his Sir about all of this. He looked up when he saw Aaron coming back into the bedroom.
Aaron lifted a brow as he looked at Spencer, waiting for whatever was going to come.
“So, Foyet is dead.”
“Yes. And the BAU is getting cleaned up. Kate is a good choice.”
“I’m glad she took Alex, she deserves it.” Spencer sighed and thought of the Alex of the other world. “Ethan didn’t survive.”
“I’m sorry Spencer. I know you’re friends.”
“It was a shock, but knowing he was still alive here helped. The one that hurt was Victor. He had been killed by a serial killer. I saw Jackson, in Atlantic City.” Spencer grinned as he thought about the man. “He tried very hard to flirt with Aaron and would have been more than willing to have him in his bed. Aaron wasn’t sure how to handle that.”
“And I bet your claws came out, didn’t they Pet?”
“It wasn’t the same as you and Jax. I understand you two, I wasn’t going to let Jackson go too far. Besides, I don’t think the other Aaron would be able to handle Jackson Grimes.” Spencer went on to tell him about Atlantic City, how Aaron was uncomfortable around the money and the contract that he had signed for Jackson’s project.
“It’ll be good for Spencer. I kind of forced his hand in all aspects of his life. I knew he wasn’t going to go back the same person. Not like you would let him.” Spencer yawned and felt tired. He knew there was so much more he needed to talk about, and he wanted to see Derek and even Rossi. He even might go see Gideon. It would be fun to tell the man how he had killed the other Gideon. He would describe it in great detail, the mental torture would be exquisite and Spencer wondered if he would get off on it. He looked up at Aaron and wondered if he would watch and listen. A hand in his hair had him coming out of his thoughts.
“It’s been a long day, Pet, why don’t you get some sleep and we can finish this conversation tomorrow. I know Derek will want to introduce you to Charlie, who is anxious to meet you.”
“Are you coming too?” Spencer didn’t often like to show his vulnerability, but right now he was still a little unsettled. He needed Aaron wrapped around him, to be held in those strong arms he knew so well.
“Of course, Pet. Why don’t you lie down, and I’ll be right there.” Spencer smiled as he slipped out of his clothes and readjusted the pillows. He got into bed and when the cuffs came around his wrists, and Aaron settled at his back he finally felt like he was truly home.
Spencer woke and felt better than he had in so long. He purred as he felt teeth scraping across his shoulder and hands exploring his body. The press of a cock had him pressing back. This was normal, so very normal. When he was turned onto his back and kissed, hard and possessive, he let go. He relaxed onto the bed and let himself just float, let Aaron take him, normal.
The hands on him, the mouth kissing and biting him, the cock breaching him as his legs were lifted, the surety that Aaron knew what he was doing, all went to settle him even more. The slow glide of Aaron’s cock had him shaking. The morning after grounding that they always needed Spencer had missed. His hands were being released and all he wanted to do was touch, to know that this was his Aaron.
“Beautiful. God, you’re beautiful. I missed you, missed this.” Aaron’s words whispered across Spencer’s skin and he shivered again. He surged up as he wrapped his legs around Aaron even tighter.
“Missed you so much,” Spencer panted. The slow measured pace Aaron setup was driving him mad, his felt his cock filled and the need to cum was close to painful, and it was exquisite. He wasn’t ready to beg, wasn’t ready for it to end.
Aaron sat back on his legs and pulled Spencer up with him. Sliding even harder down on Aaron’s cock, he couldn’t help crying out as he wrapped his arms around Aaron and started to ride on the cock inside him.
“Please,” Spencer gripped Aaron’s shoulders as he set a fast pace, his heart racing as he looked into lust blown eyes of his…everything.
The wicked smile that came across Aaron’s face had Spencer kissing him hard with his own possessiveness. The hands on his ass, squeezing created a delicious ache in him.
“Then come,” Aaron said in his ear as he scraped teeth along Spencer’s neck.
Everything was too much and Spencer obeyed and came between them. He clenched his ass and pushed down hard onto Aaron’s cock, then he was coming too. Still buried inside Spencer, Aaron held him close and maneuvered them off the bed and into the bathroom.
As they took their shower, Spencer slid down to his knees and nuzzled Aaron’s cock. It didn’t take much to make his Sir hard again, and he looked up, asking silent permission. Aaron cupped his cheek and nodded. Taking the cock in his mouth Spencer worked mouth and tongue together.
“Such a wicked mouth.” Aaron fisted his hand in Spencer’s hair, gripping it hard, then started to move, sliding in and out of that hot mouth. Spencer knew it wasn’t going to take long, he relaxed his throat, and a moment later felt Aaron release. Swallowing, he stood and finished taking care of his Dom.
“We have so much still to talk about. I know you have questions, do you want to talk here in the bedroom? Or go to the den?”
“Does everyone in the house know?” Spencer asked as he was getting clothes from his closet.
“Some of the staff suspected, but they’ve been quieted. But, yes, pretty much those closest to us know. It wasn’t hard for them to figure it out.”
Spencer snorted as he sat on the bed. He had put on soft linen trousers, a short sleeved button up and one of his waistcoats. He would forgo a jacket for in the house, but if they went out, he would grab one.
“The Converse?” Spencer smirked as he held up a special edition Dr. Who pair of the shoes.
Aaron smiled as he caressed Spencer’s cheek.
“He needed something grounding. He asked they look better than I expected. Even with suits. It wasn’t hard to indulge him, and therefore let you have them. If you like them I won’t stop you from buying what you want.”
Spencer held up the mismatched socks and didn’t feel as attached to that quirk of the other Spencer’s. He might indulge it on the weekends, but workdays, he liked to look his best, even if no one saw it. Since it was Sunday, he decided to indulge. He put the socks and the shoes on and liked that there was a small reminder in this world of his time in the other world.
“Come on, let’s have breakfast, then we can talk to everyone.” Spencer stood and kissed Aaron, his hand went to the collar, grounding himself on it. He frowned a moment and wondered if that was going to be something he did often, or if it was just going to be there till he felt truly settled. Shaking his head, he wasn’t going to worry about it, right now, he was hungry and needed food. The rest would sort itself out as he got used to being home.
Spencer didn’t open his eyes when he started to wake up. He expected to be in a hospital or to have a doctor brought in. Aaron hadn’t ever really said what he had planned if the experiment didn’t work and he or Charlie were hurt. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He didn’t know if he wanted to wake up in bed with Aaron and be stuck in the world he wasn’t born in or back where he belonged.
At least though Spencer was finally able to admit to himself why a part of him hadn’t wanted to go back, he was scared. He felt safe with Aaron. Aaron protected him, not just his body but his mind. The man would never let him come to harm in any way and he didn’t feel that safe with his own Aaron.
As his brain woke up more, Spencer realized that he wasn’t in a hospital. He almost sobbed as he felt a body wrapped around him and a hard cock pressed into his back, but whether the sob was in relief or despair, he wasn’t sure. He pulled his hands closer to his chest, feeling the cuffs and the weight of the chain. He set about composing himself as he listened to Aaron breathe behind him. He still didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t want to know the reality he was in until he couldn’t face it anymore.
The knock on the bedroom door didn’t startle him. He waited for Aaron to call out to Jack before the door opened and the noise of feet on carpeted floor sounded. He felt the bed dip as Jack got up onto it.
“Dad, does Spencer not feel well?” Jack asked.
“I think he’s still sleeping,” Aaron whispered. Spencer didn’t react at first as he hoped that if he faked sleep, they would leave but then what Jack actually said penetrated his brain. Spencer. Not Pops. He rolled over, his hands jerking on the cuffs and staring down at him was six years old Jack. He looked up to Aaron’s face and the man was clean shaven. Aaron’s eyes weren’t on Spencer’s face, though, instead were on the collar around his neck. Spencer reached to touch it and felt the cool metal. He tried to scramble to get the cuffs off but his hands were shaking. Aaron undid the chain that attached to the cuffs but his fingers grabbed the metal cuffs. Spencer was shocked that the cuffs went with him.
Spencer threw back the covers on the bed to find the other items from the other Aaron there, scattered on the bed around him. He was in pajama pants and a t-shirt.
“Jack, why don’t you go into the living room and watch some TV.”
“Can I have pop tarts?”
Jack smiled and jumped backward off the bed, he took off at a run out of the room but paused long enough to shut the door carefully. Spencer stripped off the shirt he had been wearing and saw the nipple rings were still there. He almost reached down and ripped down his pants to check on the Prince Albert piercing. He looked around the room and realized that since he didn’t know where he was that he had to be in Aaron’s bedroom. After he thought that he remembered that he’d not have woke in his bedroom anyway because he hadn’t signed the paperwork on the lease so the other Spencer had to have moved him somewhere and this was the same layout that he remembered from when he’d toured the apartment that he’d looked at before putting in application for the building.
“Spencer?” Aaron asked. His hands reached out and touched Spencer’s chest, tracing the smooth skin there. His hands settled just below his sternum and pressed him down into the bed. Spencer laid there while Aaron looked him up and down but he was still in pants so the man couldn’t see all of him. And Spencer’s back wasn’t visible at all. “Hairless?”
“You aren’t squinting to look at me. He never did either and I didn’t realize. Eye surgery?”
Spencer nodded. He wasn’t sure what to do and he didn’t like that. He needed to do something. He wanted to reach up and touch Aaron. His Aaron. His Aaron. He wanted to wrap the man around him like they had been when they woke up. The cuffs told Spencer that the other Spencer had come clean with him.
“Is that his?” Aaron asked as his eyes settled on the collar again.
Spencer swallowed before he answered. “Yes. He wanted me to have a few things. It’s a matching set.”
“Where is the key?” Aaron asked.
Spencer hesitated. He’d seen it under the leash but he didn’t want to take it off. It was a safety net. Something must have shown on his face because Aaron raised up to a sitting position and then slipped off the bed. Spencer watched him move to a dresser and open the drawer. He pulled out a purple leather collar that just had a simple buckle on it. Spencer got angry then.
“I’m not going to wear a collar you bought for him!”
“And you think I want to see you in his collar? This was one that Spencer bought for himself. He shot me down damned quick on the fact that he wouldn’t wear a collar I bought.”
Spencer eyed Aaron, looking for the lie. He frowned internally that he was even looking. Aaron wasn’t the enemy. Spencer grabbed the key from the bed and reached up to undo the collar. He closed his eyes as he pulled the weight off. Aaron sank onto the bed and he hesitated before wrapping the leather around Spencer’s neck and buckling it. It didn’t feel right. He needed something else. Aaron took the key from his slack fingers and worked the cuffs loose. The sound of a drawer opening had Spencer opening his eyes. He looked to see Aaron slipping all the things from the other Aaron into a drawer.
“This is your side of the bed. I won’t touch the things in here so if you want to keep them there you can. I need to go check on Jack. He’s used to cuddling in bed with us on the weekends now.”
“Just like-” Spencer cut himself off because he almost said home. “The other two.”
“He had a nightmare last night and he talked to the other Spencer about it. He dreamed that I was killed and he was happy you weren’t.”
“So just like with Jessica but without the connection, so he felt bad about being happy I was alive when you were dead.” Spencer saw the shock on Aaron’s face and he smiled softly.
“We have a lot to talk about. A lot and more than just what happened. It’s only seven so we have two hours until Morgan gets here.”
“Why is Morgan coming here?”
“I need to take care of Jack.” Aaron leaned in and kissed Spencer, hesitant but only until Spencer pressed back into him. Spencer opened his mouth as a tongue traced his lips. Aaron sat down on the bed, pulling Spencer into his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist. Spencer sank into the kiss, giving all that he had into it. He’d lost a little bit of the hope that he’d ever get back and he started to cry into the kiss.
Aaron shifted and laid him down while kissing him. Spencer opened his mouth to protest but the man didn’t push for more. Instead, he grabbed the blanket and tucked Spencer in as he pulled back. There was the sound of Aaron moving around the room but Spencer didn’t pay attention. He curled onto his side under the blanket, tucking his knees up to his chest. Aaron wrapped cuffs around his wrists and linked them back to the bed. A hand in his hair grounded him. Aaron said nothing before he let go of Spencer’s hair and left the room. The snick of the door told Spencer that he was alone.
Spencer grabbed the pillow that smelled of himself. He inhaled the smell and released a breath before he let the tears fall. He grieved. He grieved for what he lost, in Aaron, in Jack, in Dave, in Derek, in the job that he hadn’t exactly loved but liked the respect that he got. He’d miss that. He’d miss having the support of people around him that had respect for him. He couldn’t have stayed. He knew that. Spencer cried until there were no tears left. Until he’d cried out all of his grief and pain and all that was left was a hollow feeling. He had things he had to do and to start to heal and to get better, he had to let go.
Fond wasn’t the word that Spencer would use for how he felt about his time in another universe but there were moments that he thought he would have been happier there. But he had the chance to change a lot about his life in this world. Spencer brought up the image of Aaron and Jack in his mind and let the love he felt for them wash over him. He basked in that love before he let it go.
Uncurling from the position he’d been in, Spencer’s knee twinged a little but he stretched it out some and then reached up to start undoing the cuffs. He wasn’t shocked to find that they were a locking set like the ones that Aaron had in the other universe. That Spencer would have never let anyone else lock him in like that. And for a while, Spencer wasn’t going to let Aaron use any more stringent bindings on him. Trust had to be built up to that point.
The call of the shower was too great to resist. Spencer stripped off the pants and tossed them into the hamper before he padded into the bathroom. He looked at the shower and smiled a little. It wasn’t exactly a standard one. Spencer remembered that the bathroom in the apartment he’d viewed had been like it and he was looking forward to enjoying it. He touched the collar at his neck and tried to think back to the ones that Aaron had in the other world and he hoped it was waterproof. He didn’t really expect Spencer to buy one that was an everyday one that wasn’t.
Reaching into the shower Spencer started it. He gathered up a towel for his body and another for his hair, a washrag for use in the shower and piled the first two on the little shelf just outside the shower. When the room started to steam up, he moved into it. Sighing, Spencer let the water beat down on his body. He washed his hair first, sighing at the longer length. It wasn’t quite as long as the other Aaron preferred but it was closer to the shorter hair he’s had when he had one over to that world. He liked the length it was right now and he was going to keep it there. It was long enough that Aaron could still grip it if he wanted.
Once his hair was washed, Spencer moved onto his body. He was still adjusting to only having a little hair on his body. The rag was coarser than he was used to, he’d have to buy things he was used to because the other Aaron was right, he should be indulged. He worked hard and worked with criminals and indulgences should be how he made sure he took care of himself. He had a long list of things to do but the most important couldn’t happen until then He wouldn’t be able to call and talk to his mother until then. Given that Morgan would be over at nine meant he might not be able to do it until closer to eleven.
Spencer cupped his flaccid cock, letting the water run over the head and the curved metal bar. There was no urge to do anything. Spencer frowned at that, he hadn’t realized how easily Aaron had trained him to not get hard unless he was around. Spencer wondered if it was the same with the other Spencer. He finished up washing off before turning the heat of the water up just a little more and bracing his arms on the wall of the shower and it beat on his neck and shoulders.
The cold draft told him the curtain had been opened. He didn’t move from the spot as he felt more than anything Aaron entering the shower.
“What the-” Aaron sounded shocked. Spencer turned his head to look at him. Aarons’ eyes were on his back. The tattoo. “You let him-”
“I wanted it,” Spencer cut Aaron off but he didn’t turn around. “I wanted it and yes he brought it up first but there was no pressure. He never pressured me into anything. I freely gave.”
Aaron said nothing as he stepped up closer. Hesitant fingers brushed along the top edge of the tattoo.
“You left before he finished?” Aaron asked.
“What do you mean?” Spencer turned his head like he could try and see. “No, we filled in the last book last time.”
“How many books?” Aaron asked.
“There are seven. There is an open one on the desk that you are sleeping on and it’s blank. These quotes.”
“Read them to me,” Spencer said. He was upset that the other Aaron had lied to him by omission. He hadn’t ever felt the need to see the tattoo after the quotes had been added. He hadn’t realized that a book had been added to the desk. He remembered the tattooist telling him he was touching up some lines on the desk, making some stronger. Aaron had loved him but that right there told him that he’d never have been what his Spencer would be to him. Aaron had said he’d never lie to Spencer but he must have meant he’d never lie to his Spencer. He tried to fit that into what he had of Aaron but it was gone. He mentally whispered a goodbye to the man who had shaped him into what he was now but that man was forever gone and he had an Aaron with him that would never lie to him anymore.
“Him so I sought, and so at last I found, Where him that witch had thralled to her will, In chaines of lust and lewd desires ybound, And so transformed from his former skill, That me he knew not, neither his own ill. Edmund Spenser’s Faerie Queene.” Aaron’s fingers traced over the location where Spencer knew the words were. Aaron’s other hand settled on his waist, hesitant at being allowed to touch like that. Spencer pulled his hand from the wall and cupped Aaron’s hand, pressing it into his flesh. The hand tightened, hard enough to bruise with that.
Spencer felt fingers on the next on and he quoted it. “True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself. Henry Miller.”
Aaron’s mouth settled onto his skin tracing the words with lips before those lips uttered the words. “The chains and the silence, which should have bound her deep within herself, which should have smothered her, strangled her, on the contrary, freed her from herself. Pauline Reage, Story of O.”
“Submission is not about authority and it is not obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect. William Paul Young, The Shack.” Spencer closed his eyes as Aaron’s mouth moved up his back and his fingers stopped tracing the words on his back and instead settled on his other hip, just as tight. He had assumed that Aaron was naked but the flesh pressing into him confirmed it. The man’s hard cock pressed into his ass cheeks and Spencer’s mouth watered at the thought of having it in his mouth but he knew that it wasn’t possible, at least not in the shower. “Be careful.”
Aaron’s hands gripped him tighter like he was afraid of him moving away. “Why?”
“I hurt my knee again. Twisted it and sprained it. I am fine for walking carefully but I am not allowed to kneel for a while.”
“How?” Aaron asked his breath ghosting on the back of Spencer’s neck, hot despite the steam of the shower.
“Later.” Foyet wasn’t something that Spencer wanted to bring up in the shower, not when they were on their way to sex. “I promise.”
Aaron didn’t answer verbally, instead, he loosened the hold of one hand and moved it to the front of Spencer’s body. As soon as fingers closed around his cock, it started to fill. Spencer moaned as the water slick hand started to stroke him in time to the thrusts of the cock that was now pressed in between his cheeks.
Spencer’s brained stuttered at having to recall words while sex was on it but it only took a few seconds to call up the quote. “That’s part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can’t refuse anything and can’t even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel. Cherise Sinclair, Dark Citadel.”
The hand on Spencer’s cock tightened just that much more and Spencer’s knees went weak. Aaron’s arm moved, wrapping around his chest under his arms, holding him up. Keeping him where Aaron wanted him.
“He needed the hand on his shoulder, the kiss to his temple and the hot, ragged breath of his Master over his face. Casey K. Cox.” Spencer had never been so close to orgasm so quickly. He thought that he’d responded perfectly to the other Aaron but this was something different.
“Come,” Aaron whispered in his ear and Spencer came with a cry. Spencer’s legs gave out and only Aaron’s arms around him kept him up. He felt the man thrust into his ass a few more times then his body stilled. Forehead on Spencer’s shoulder, Aaron leaned into him. Spencer let them fall slowly into the wall and made so that he could take all weight off of his knee. “Were you done?”
“With the shower? Yes.” Spencer felt Aaron shift a little then his weight was gone. The feel of the washrag over his skin was next, helping to wash away evidence of his release. The water was shut off next before Spencer was prodded out of the shower. When he finally got a look at Aaron he could see that the man was thinking about something. He let him have that as he started to dry himself. Aaron was drying himself as well but haphazardly. Spencer had all of himself dried off except for his hair before he took Aaron’s towel from him and finished what he had started. Aaron watched him with careful eyes and when Spencer squatted on one leg to dry his legs the man exhaled like he had made a big decision.
“I can’t say a single thing about the piercings, any of the three of them and I can’t say a single fucking thing about the tattoo because I know that you did them because you wanted them. He may have suggested them but you wanted them. The other Aaron had laid precise marks on Spencer’s body, whip marks, knife marks, and that damned rune. I know that he wasn’t a good man, the other Aaron, but in some ways, he’s better than me.”
“Don’t say that,” Spencer chided.
“You don’t understand. I sent Spencer back to him marked. Spencer said that Aaron wouldn’t punish him for it but I did it in a moment of passion because I knew that I’d see his mark all over you no matter he did or didn’t do to you. And it’s not the tattoo or the piercings but I was so damned stupid. I let myself believe that just being with me, allowing myself to show him emotions was what was changing him but it was who he was and I see shadows of him in you.”
“So what did you do to mark him before he went back to his Aaron?” Spencer asked because he knew that Aaron had to have done something that he felt bad for.
“The night he told me about everything after I’d finally had enough happen that I searched the apartment, I bit him hard enough to leave a scar on his inner thigh. There is no way that the other Aaron will miss it.”
“You bit him?” Spencer wondered where that came from. He looked at Aaron, seeing shame but also a bit of not quite pride but justification.
“I bit him and the shock of it actually caused him to pass out.”
“Would you do that to me? Without my permission?” Spencer asked.
“NO!” Aaron protested. He cupped the sides of Spencer’s face, drawing him in close and leaning their foreheads together. “I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
“I can’t be him,” Spencer whispered.
“I want you to be you. Whoever that is now. I loved you before and I will love this new you as well because if the other Spencer proved one thing to me it’s that we belong together. I will fight for you.”
“I am not ready for saying those words. I feel like I’m standing on a crumbling floor and right now I can’t see a way out.”
“I’m sorry for-” Aaron nodded towards the shower.
“No. If I didn’t want it I would have said no. Don’t feel sorry.” Spencer shifted on his feet and his knee twinged a little. The pain must have shown on his face because Aaron frowned at him. Before Spencer could tell him it was just a twinge, Aaron was scooping him up bridal style and carried him to the bed. Spencer didn’t protest at all instead he laid his head on Aaron’s shoulder and relaxed. He felt like he could fall back asleep but he knew that wasn’t an option. There was Morgan to deal with.
Aaron set about getting everything together that Spencer would need. The suit that was laid on the bed was a bit different than what he’d got used to wearing but it was more his style than the other Spencer’s.
“He drained your bank account buying clothes but refilled it and then some in Atlantic City. We have so much to talk about with that but right now we need to discuss Morgan more. And why Spencer did what he did to him last night.”
“I wondered how he would handle Morgan. Derek, his counterpart was…vastly different. There are parts of him that I’ll miss but Derek’s predilection for bedding barely of age and sometimes in that questionable age, teen boys was not well liked at all by the other Aaron. Derek was what Morgan made sure he’d never become but Aaron kept him in line for the most part and we found him a safe and stable relationship to hopefully stop that.”
“It sounds like no one was the same.”
“The team roster has changed a lot, Spencer. Morgan is the Unit Chief and I am Section Chief.”
“What happened to Strauss?”
“She made a move against the team that backfired on her. She tried to bench the other Spencer by citing that he had undue influence on the team and put us all in danger. The other Spencer learned well, profiling.”
“He did a lot of it for his Aaron, just you know for evil.” Spencer grabbed the socks and started to get dressed. Aaron kneeled at his feet and helped get his pants up to his knees before helping him stand. Aaron touched his skin a lot as the older man dressed him. He hummed in happiness as kisses were placed on his chest as Aaron buttoned his dress shirt. “This is a little dressy for the weekend.”
“And with the upsets that are coming, you need every single bit of armor you can get.”
“So you aren’t on the team, who took your place?”
“Alex Blake. That’s not all. You have an office, connected to mine, we share a secretary and you are the lead profiler.”
“That doesn’t get me an office.”
“No. Jackson Grimes went to Atlantic City during the tournament to woo you into helping him with his database.”
“He got the approval?”
“Yes and that’s why you have an office and minions.”
“Three million a year plus medical for your family.”
“I want to see the contract.” Spencer stood up fully from the bed and started away from Aaron.
“Spencer, the contract is here in my safe. There is also a digital copy on your tablet.” Aaron moved towards the other end of the room and picked up a very fancy tablet. “It’s not cleared for cases but Jackson keeps all your work things for him on there. It’s also how you keep in contact with your Grimes secretary when on cases. All of your Bureau work has stayed paper files. The other Spencer finally got it through Garcia’s head why you do paper copies. He wasn’t the nicest to her but he didn’t mess up your working relationship with anyone.”
“I can’t see him standing her for long. His Garcia was very….she was the best out of everyone. She stuck to her ways and wasn’t caught by the FBI or Aaron made sure she wasn’t. She was a damned good hacker and we worked well together on an issue that popped up.” Spencer took the tablet that Aaron handed him and booted it up. The encryption on it was top notch. It wanted his palm print and Spencer hoped their hands were close enough. It read his palm and opened up. He found the contract and opened it up. He read through every single page of it before looking at Aaron. “I’ve always done well on making sure that mom is taken care of. Between her own disability and her pension, I’ve never had to pitch in much. Jackson added her on. She’s got full medical coverage and it pays totally for Bennington. Before pension and disability.”
“He left you journals. Detailing everything that he did here. They are in your apartment. After Morgan leaves you can go and read them. You need to eat.”
“I left journals for him as well.” Spencer laid the tablet on the nightstand, looking at the wall. He wanted to ask but he was afraid to. “How is Mom?”
“He went to see her. I kind of forced him to before I realized it wasn’t you. I didn’t ask about what happened but he point-blank told me that Diana knew it wasn’t you from a damn TV spot from a case. She knew and none of the rest of us caught on for a long time. I was first and Morgan second but that was last night and when Morgan wouldn’t back down, Spencer dislocated his shoulder.”
“Not shocked on that. Derek had been training me. He’d trained the other Spencer for years and knew best how to train me.”
“Are you okay to walk?”
“Yes. I might have to pull out the cane for cases but I am fine. I just have to be careful.”
“Morgan isn’t adjusting well to being the Unit Chief. Then again the other Spencer hasn’t let him walk all over him like before. He’s learning how to deal with a much more respectable him in the field. Spencer wasn’t letting him pull any shit.”
“How the hell is he going to pass off a dislocated shoulder at work?”
“I don’t know. He was going to make a case for telling the team. Which the only reason I never did was because I didn’t want it damaging your career,”
“You are keeping things from me.”
“I will tell them to you as soon as Morgan is gone. I don’t want you overly emotional in dealing with him. He’s going to be enough for all of us.”
“And Jack? Where is he going to be?”
“I’m ready to go out and eat,” Spencer said. He had to brace himself for a Jack he wasn’t used to. A Jack that he’d figured out that he did love, only when he was ripped away from him. Aaron helped him stand and finished dressing him. The suit jacket left on the bed but the waistcoat was affixed on his torso. It fit him perfectly, showing off his litheness.
“Your beautiful, Spencer. You always have been but you attract my attention more right now. The way you hold yourself and the look in your eyes. I am happy that I can call you mine.”
“What about this?” Spencer asked, his hand going to his neck. It brushed the collar there.
“That’s up to you. I can’t say I am going to demand it, because it’s not mine but you’ve been living it for six months, Spencer. We can do up your collar and hope he doesn’t see it or you can have it visible.”
“He’ll want to know whose it is.”
“When I accepted the job as Section Chief, I made the entirety of the upper brass at the FBI know that a relationship with you had started. Any issues that pop up will be handled by the Section Chief for the Sex Crimes Unit. I can still sign off on everything related to you as long as no one brings up an issue and I do have to say that the other Spencer toed that line. JJ knows about us and I assume from what Spencer said that he said to Morgan, he knows now as well.”
Spencer moved towards the door, testing his knee and finding it was doing fine. He felt Aaron at his beck and smiled when the man reached out and pulled him close. Jack was in the middle of the living room on the floor with a book in his lap. The TV was on but the sound was down really low. Spencer took in the changes to the room, subtle but they were there. One of which was a bookshelf that before had had some of Aaron’s law books on but now it housed children’s books. All for Jack’s age. There were even a few shelves of books Spencer knew were his.
“Good morning, Papa.”
Spencer stopped dead in his tracks, looking at Jack. His gut clenched and he moved to turn around so that Jack wouldn’t see his face. Aaron stopped him from turning around.
“Jack,” Aaron said.
“Why are you calling Spencer that?”
“Cause it’s what the other me calls the other Spencer. Did he finally go home?” Jack looked at them both like they were silly.
“Did the other Spencer talk to you about it?” Spencer asked as he moved to sit down on the couch. Jack scrambled up and into his lap.
“No. I found his journals and read what I could understand of them. I knew something was different, more than he and Daddy were sharing a bed, but I didn’t know what and then I watched him print out something one day while he was watching me and I read what he had printed when he was in the shower. I didn’t understand a lot of it but I understood enough to know it wasn’t a story. He talked a lot about missing his Jack, who called him Papa. I missed you while you were away. I want to call you Papa, can I?”
“Of course.” Spencer wrapped his arms around Jack and closed his eyes as he inhaled the scent of him. There was the scent of the sweet from his breakfast clinging to him as well as the scent from Spencer’s preferred laundry soap, which was a little shocking. And the lingering scent of baby shampoo from his bath the day before. Spencer memorized that scent and locked it away in his mind as Jack. It was all Jack. His Jack. Spencer opened his eyes and laughed at the sight of the Snorlax bed in the corner by the bookshelf with Jack’s books. It was the same one he had bought for the other Jack.
Aaron stayed back as Jack cuddled into Spencer’s lap. The boy didn’t want down from his lap and was content to stay there. Spencer listened to Aaron as he moved around in the kitchen. There was the sound of the microwave beeping and then the clink of dishes. The older man appeared in his line of sight with a tray that was loaded down with two big bowls and two glasses of orange juice and two coffee cups.
“I made oatmeal for us for breakfast. The other Spencer liked to put warmed maple syrup on his when he wanted a treat and I didn’t think until just now that it could be one of the differences that I shouldn’t have assumed.”
“No, I do like it. Mom used to do it when I was feeling sad. It’s probably one of the only things that he ever did that was related to her. They did not have a good relationship.” Spencer shifted Jack in his lap so he could at least eat one handed to find the boy asleep.
“He didn’t have a good night at all. I’m shocked he didn’t end up in bed with us.” Aaron laid a hand on Jack’s shin and the boy didn’t react at all.
“What did you explain to him about the cuffs and chain, and collar?”
“Spencer thought it best to wait for him to ask. He’s curious as he’s proven with his sneaky reading of the journals. He’ll ask at some point and we can discuss beforehand what we want to tell him.”
“I feel like a newborn colt who doesn’t have his legs under him. Nothing is the same.” Spencer ate the oatmeal even though he barely tasted any of it. He drank the orange juice when Aaron handed it over and then the coffee he sipped at while relaxing. It was creeping ever closer to when Morgan was going to get there and Spencer wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it at all.
Trying to straighten all the thoughts in his head took Spencer time. He knew that he and Aaron had a lot to discuss but first Morgan had to be dealt with. Then the team.
At eight thirty, Jack was just waking up from his nap when a knock came at the door. Spencer looked at Aaron before he handed the boy over to Aaron and moved to the door. Before Spencer opened it, he made sure the collar was visible. Aaron stood and his steps sounded behind Spencer. Spencer spared a glance and saw that Aaron was taking Jack to his room.
Spencer opened the door and glared at Morgan.
“Where’s Hotch?” Morgan’s eyes were focused on the collar but he didn’t say anything about it.
“He’s laying Jack down. Jack had a few nightmares last night.”
“Morgan, I thought that Spencer told you not to come before nine?” Aaron asked as he entered the living room again. Spencer watched him set down a baby monitor on the couch right beside where the remnants of breakfast were. Aaron started to clean that up while Spencer finally allowed Morgan into the apartment.
“He can’t tell me what to do,” Morgan said, glaring at Spencer before stepping past him and looking at Aaron. “I came to talk to you and not him.”
“At least he wasn’t stupid enough to wear a gun.” Spencer didn’t look away from Morgan at all.
“How do you know that?” Morgan looked, surprised and a little scared.
“No matter what Spencer Reid I am, I’m not stupid, Derek Morgan.” Spencer sat down on the couch as Aaron came back from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bottle of water for Morgan. He set the bottle down in front of the chair that was across from the couch and then sat between Spencer and the arm of the couch, turning Spencer to lean into him. “Your pants sit differently when you wear your back holster and there are no lines on your pant legs from an ankle holster.”
“What the hell is going on?” Morgan demanded.
“Haven’t I taught you to be more specific? There is a lot going on at the moment.” Spencer smiled at him. He could handle Morgan now. It was easy. That bit of him that wanted to always be invisible and not make waves was gone. At least professionally.
“Hotch, he thinks he’s from another universe. How are you sure that he hasn’t…” Morgan looked at Spencer then. He looked back at Aaron.
“Oh, he thinks I turned schizophrenic. That’s kind of cute.” Spencer could read Morgan like an open book. He’d seen who the man could have become without that sense of right inside of him. He only shuddered to think what Derek would have become without the other Aaron in his life.
“Morgan, do you remember when Spencer got under Ford’s skin?” Aaron asked as he kind of sat up a little more. One of Aaron’s arms came around Spencer’s waist, teasing just under his waistcoat.
“That’s part of all of this. Those marks, those scars. There is no way that he allowed someone to do that to him. We need to protect him.”
“You don’t understand what a true Dominant/Submissive relationship is like. You’ve let this job stop you from truly understanding it. There are thousands who live this every single day and what Ford did was a mockery of it, a perversion.” Spencer had read about what Ford in the other world had done, what that Aaron had saved Cindi from. Aaron bringing it up gave him confirmation that the other Spencer had done something to catch him. Or something else had happened but the team had helped to catch him.
“So what you decided all of a sudden that you are a submissive? Hotch man listen to him!”
“I have lived this Morgan for six months. The young man that I took home the next morning after the explosion six months ago wasn’t our Spencer Reid. I didn’t find out until much later but that man was a different Spencer from a different universe.”
“Are you telling me that you believe him?” Morgan looked shocked but he relaxed down into the chair and picked up the bottle of water. He looked at Aaron and then at Spencer, back and for a few minutes before he seemed to accept it, at least for the time being.
Spencer stood up, Aaron’s hands falling away from him. If Morgan had seen the scars, then he would know that many of them couldn’t be faked. So Spencer’s flawless skin of his front would at least be a point in their favor of the other Spencer not being the real one.
“You talk about scars. You saw the scars.” Spencer started to unbutton his waistcoat and when he was done he worked on the dress shirt. When he was done, he showed Morgan his unmarked skin. “That Spencer Reid had been living with a masochistic Dominant since he was fourteen years old. The relationship didn’t turn sexual until after he was eighteen, but he has never been away from him. That explosion at Charlie’s lab swapped him and I. I woke up in the bed of the other Spencer’s Dominant. The other Spencer woke up in the hospital,” Spencer waited for Aaron to nod before he went on “wasn’t me. His Dominant made him perfect at manipulation and slipping into any situation and taking advantage. My apartment was all that he needed to assume my life. The interactions after that between him and the team I am sure all of you put off as he was recovering from the explosion. He assumed my life with no issue.”
“You really…” Morgan looked at Spencer’s chest, no scars, no rune. His whole body slumped down into the chair. “Fuck.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought when I finally figured it out,” Aaron said.
Spencer started to close up his shirt but Aaron’s hands stopped him. He felt his shirt being drug down his shoulders before a hand turned him around. Spencer turned around and let his shirt drop down to his elbows.
“All of those marks that the other Spencer’s Dominant made on him, he never made a mark like that on Spencer. This is what he did.” Aaron stood up and once Morgan had got a full look, he pulled the shirt up. Spencer didn’t react as Aaron buttoned up his clothes and straightened them. He made sure the collar was on display again.
“So what between last night and this morning they swapped back?” Morgan was upset and it was understandable but at least he wasn’t so angry anymore. That anger…Derek never had it. Spencer wondered if it was something that the other Aaron had forced him into letting go a long time before.
“I was finally able to recreate the experiment in the other universe and it worked. I woke up in bed, here, back in my world. The other-” Spencer stopped himself.
“The other what? What did the other Spencer do?”
“This Spencer and I had a date set for the next day and then the explosion happened and it was changed from a dinner date out to one at his apartment.”
“Aaron and I had been working on it for months, Morgan. Socializing outside of work, it started because of Jack.”
“The other Spencer took advantage of that and upped the relationship to a physical one. Six months it took you to catch on. How is your arm?” Aaron asked.
“I popped it back into place and it’s better. Just have to take my time with things and I’ll be limiting my field work for a while. This is fucked up, Hotch.”
“You are telling me. I didn’t expect to wake up with a different Spencer in my bed.”
“You knew for how long?”
“Around two months but it didn’t change anything. Keeping it a secret was best. Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. What the would have happened? I had to live like I was going to get Spencer back and every move made to put the other Spencer out was a move that would hurt my Spencer.”
“So you’ve lied to us for two months?”
“To protect Spencer, I would do a lot. The brass knows about us, Morgan. The relationship but not anything to do with him not being the real Spencer. When I agreed to take over the Job as Section Chief there was a lot of pressure on me to do so. This Unit has been under a lot of stress with Strauss and how she was managing things. They wanted me because I was a face that the unit knew. After Strauss almost forcing Spencer out of the unit, no one was looking at the upper brass with kind eyes. Out of everyone in the unit, he’s done the least amount of stupid shit that would get him in trouble and yet he was singled out because he was the weak point for every single member of the team.”
Spencer snorted because he wasn’t going to be that anymore, he wasn’t going to allow himself to be that anymore. But he knew what Aaron was meaning, anyone on the team would do what they could to help the other and while Spencer had seemed like the best weak point, it had backfired on Strauss.
“That’s the majority of the reason that they wanted me as Section Chief. I wouldn’t do that or allow it to happen. So plans were made and while on paper, I am over Spencer, if something happens, I would recuse myself from it and the Sex Crimes Unit Section Chief will step in. Right now we are doing a lot of playing by ear but Morgan, there are a lot of reasons that I took this job and while a few of those reasons were because of Spencer, the majority of them were to protect the team. Just like when I stepped down during Foyet and put you in as acting Unit Chief.”
“This is…was he really that good?”
“Morgan, I spent a great deal of time with him in the three months after the explosion and didn’t start to put it together. He was damned good at what he did and I think that if I hadn’t already started a relationship with Spencer before the other Spencer came here, I never would have known. Tomorrow we are going to have the team over for a lunch and discuss all of this, in better detail. Take the night, think about it and then tomorrow you can grill us better.”
“I need to get used to being back right now Morgan and I have missed you. I’m sorry for what my counterpart did.”
“No, I egged him on. I was so damned pissed and upset. I could have stepped back and stopped it at any point but I was so blinded by anger. He sounds like he was a very different Spencer and I can see why he was acting a little different. I just thought that he was slipping into schizophrenia and needed help.” Morgan looked at Spencer and there was something else there in his eyes. Something that he was ashamed of. Spencer looked at him, looking at his body language and his eyes. He was more than happy that Spencer wasn’t crazy. He was relieved and it was more than just being happy, he was downright jubilant that Spencer wasn’t crazy, or that Spencer wasn’t doing something else.
“You thought that I might have gone back on Dilaudid.”
Morgan looked ashamed at that.
“You were acting different and while it was slow, it was there and at first it was all I could think about and then you are at the edge of the age for schizophrenia to show up. Then I noticed that you-he was keeping secrets. This is so confusing.”
“I know, it’s okay.” Spencer leaned forward on the couch and Morgan just sighed.
“I think that I need to just go home and think. Text me when lunch is tomorrow. I’ll be here, not angry.”
Morgan shoved himself up and out of the chair. He set the unopened bottle of water down on the table. Spencer was going to stand to see him out but a little body slipping into his lap stopped that from happening. Jack cuddled down into him and Spencer knew he wasn’t going to get up. Aaron slipped out from behind him and ruffled Jack’s hair before he showed Morgan out.
“That went better than I thought,” Spencer called out when the door shutting sounded.
“It really did. Tomorrow is going to be bad.”
“I’ll call Jessica and have her come over in the morning. Does that sound fun Jack you and Jessica having lunch together?”
“Well, Spencer and I need to talk to the team and it might get really loud and I don’t want you to hear everything because well Uncle Derek has a really foul mouth,” Aaron said with a smile on his face.
“Aunt Penny threatened to wash his mouth out with soap once.”
“Yes, she did. It’s just adult stuff, Jack.”
Spencer hoped that Jack wouldn’t be upset.
“I’m hungry again,” Jack said.
“It’s not time for lunch yet but I think that I some oatmeal left. Why don’t you go and get settled at the table?” Aaron asked.
Jack slipped out of Spencer’s lap and moved into the kitchen. Spencer stayed where he was on the couch and tried to figure out if he really wanted to get it all out there, the relationship that had formed when he wasn’t even around, to the fact that he had changed so much. His relationship with Aaron, no matter what it was, was personal. He really needed to get over and read the journals left for him. He needed to understand everything but he didn’t want to leave right then because he wasn’t sure that Jack would like it. He’d known before he’d been jerked away that Jack had adored him and was attached but to come back and find that the boy was even more attached, it was making his head spin.
Spencer made mental plans to head over to his apartment and read the journals after lunch. He looked back at Aaron who was setting a bowl down in front of Jack before looking up like he’d known that Spencer was looking at him. He’d fought to get back, even when he started to loose hope, but what did he come back to?
Spencer walked out to the dining room with confidence. He was home and after the round of morning sex with Aaron felt more settled in his own skin than he had over the last six months. He still had some residual pain from the night before, and it felt delicious.
Derek and Charlie were there and Spencer noticed a different air surrounding Derek. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he would have the patience to find out. Jack looked like he was finishing up his breakfast, and JJ was at the other end of the table. She smiled softly at him as he moved to the buffet and served himself. He didn’t say anything yet, and there was an air of anticipation. He walked back to the table with plate and coffee in hand, set them down and turned to look at everyone.
“Yes, it’s me. The experiment worked.”
“Oh thank God.” Charlie let out an exaggerated sigh as he stood and moved in front of Spencer. “Good morning Dr. Reid, my name is Charles Epps.”
Spencer smiled. He had heard of Dr. Epps and had read many of his published articles on Maths and Physics. Then one day he just seemed to disappear. Spencer wanted the whole story, but he would wait till he could talk privately with each person separately.
“Dr. Epps. It is very good to meet you. I don’t want to go into everything yet, let’s just have breakfast, then we’ll go into the library.”
“I understand. This has to be a little overwhelming for you.”
Spencer had been overwhelmed, in the other reality, but here, here he knew his place and it was easy to slide right back into his life. He shivered a little when he felt Aaron move to stand next to him and laid a hand on his lower back.
“We’ll eat, then we’ll talk,” Aaron said as he moved away to serve himself.
The table was quiet as everyone ate. Spencer could almost feel their questions, but they were all patient enough to wait for him. When he was done and had a second cup of coffee in front of him he looked around the table.
“I’d rather talk to each one of you individually. I don’t want to do this as a group.”
“Whatever you want, Spence, you know we’ll follow your lead.” JJ smiled at him and his heart ached for her. He didn’t know what he was going to say to her, the JJ in the other world was so different. It also made him think of little Henry, and that was an ache he knew he needed to bury.
It took most of the day to speak with each person individually in the house. The longest time was the time he spent with Charlie and Derek. Spencer couldn’t help being surprised at the relationship, but somehow it worked. He avoided JJ. He normally wasn’t any kind of coward, but he couldn’t face her yet. He needed some time to get the little boy out of his head.
Spencer went to his office and took a couple of hours to look through the computer notes that were left for him. The papers and other work that his counterpart had done were laid out in binders on a shelf behind his desk where he kept the things he needed to get to quickly. As he was going through his things, he noticed the broken lock on the cabinet in the very corner. Lifting his brow he opened it and saw a note had been left, apologizing for the broken lock, then an explanation of why it was broken. Spencer couldn’t blame the other Spencer. To be able to handle Aaron, one had to know everything. Setting everything to rights, Spencer was ready for his final talk.
Standing up he let a smile grace his lips as he walked downstairs to the basement area. When he found himself in front of Gideon’s cell he bit his lip with the anticipation he felt. He didn’t even know he was going to come down till he was actually down there. Now that he was, he couldn’t wait.
Punching in the code, Spencer slipped inside the cell and let his eyes take in the man on the bed.
“I think you can already guess that I’m not the other Spencer.” He let his hand skim the top of the bed, then drop down onto Gideon’s leg. Spencer could smell the fresh soap smell and knew the nurse that Aaron paid very handsomely to take care of Gideon had been there.
“You’re Aaron’s Pet. So, the experiment finally worked.” Spencer walked around the bed and let his hand glide over Gideon, thoughts of what he had done to the other Gideon flooded his mind and he shivered just slightly.
“Oh yes. The one you tried to lie to about Aaron.” Spencer stopped at the opposite side then kneed up on the bed and straddled Gideon’s waist. “I never did pay you back for what you tried to do. I know it’s petty on my part to hold a grudge, but you are a special case.”
Spencer closed his eyes a moment and felt the mild erection that Gideon was sporting. He narrowed his eyes at the man.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, now Gideon. I might think that there was more to you wanting me away from Aaron than just wanting to try to ‘save’ me. I figured out pretty quickly that your counterpart was in love with Spencer. I found a journal in his cabin, one I burned later because Spencer didn’t need to see it. It detailed dreams, fantasies really. Did you want me, Jason?” Spencer sneered at the man under him as he took off his shirt. He had taken off the gauze earlier because the cuts had closed. They were shallow, but would still leave thin, faint scars. He ran his fingers over his chest as he looked Gideon in the eye.
The shallow breath, the feel of the man under him Spencer knew.
“Did you want to do this to me?” He gripped one of Gideon’s hands in his and made him touch. “Aaron gave me new marks yesterday, aren’t they perfect?” Spencer preened as he stared down at Gideon.
“Spencer, please.” Gideon was shaking with fear in his eyes and Spencer took it in, relished it.
“Please what? Leave you alone? But I don’t want to. I like playing with you.” Spencer leaned down so his lips were close to Gideon’s ear. “Do you want to know what I did to him? To the other you? I could tell you in excruciating detail how I killed him.” Spencer sucked in a breath then slowly let it out. Then, he whispered everything he had done to Gideon. Everything he said, the way he had killed him, and how he left the man there, bleeding, dying. When he sat up he looked down in his Gideon’s face and saw his eyes closed, a pained expression on his face.
“I did it because, well Aaron didn’t want me to kill you. I would have, for him I would kill you in an instant. You hurt him, betrayed him and tried to lie to me about him. Aaron maybe a psychopath, but there is one thing he is above everything, he is brutally honest with me. He knows never to lie to me. I am what he made me, and I like, very much, who I am.” Spencer got up off of Gideon and smiled down at him. “Besides, I’d make you suffer for days before I killed you. The other one, I did it for that Spencer. I wasn’t going to see him hurt, and I know he had plans to try to reconnect, to try to get his Gideon back into his life, and I just couldn’t allow that. I know Aaron made him stronger. Oh, he’ll flounder for a bit, but he’ll find his strength again, and when he does, no one is going to be prepared for him, not even Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner.”
Spencer smiled, stood and straightened himself out. He left Gideon there, knowing he had no control over what happened to him. If Aaron had left it up to him, the man would already be dead, but even he could appreciate the long suffering that Aaron was putting him through. Spencer left the basement knowing he most likely would never be back.
Spencer avoided JJ for weeks now. In that time, though, he had slipped easily back into his old life. Aaron kept watching him, and Spencer wasn’t sure why. He knew they had to talk, he wanted all of those things that were the other Spencer’s gone from their room. He was keeping the shoes, he had gotten rather fond of them, and he even started to hunt for special editions he was interested in himself.
Their caseload ramped up, Aaron had taken a couple of high profile cases, and as usual a few of the custody cases. They had not had a chance to discuss much of anything, both of them being tired when they got home from work. Even their sex life had waned a bit, which wasn’t unusual when they had this type of heavy work. But, what was upsetting Spencer was the way Aaron would sometimes linger over the box of collars, or pick up some trinket that was his doppelgangers. It was now several weeks, and Aaron still seemed to be pining for the other Spencer. It all came to a head one weekend that Jack was, thankfully, out with Dave at his cabin fishing and doing a little hunting.
Spencer wasn’t even mad about the lack of sex or even play. They got a couple of days each week, even if it was a quick session. But, it was the lack of just being together. He would suggest going out to one of their favorite places, and Aaron would say he was busy. Or, he even suggested going to the club, but Aaron would be too tired or didn’t want to make the effort of getting dressed to go. There were other things, and it had gone on for way too long now. Spencer was getting pissed off, he wanted his Aaron back. He hadn’t suffered and hung on in his suffering in the other world to come back to this closed off Aaron.
Things had to change, and they had to change fast. If not, Spencer knew he would do something drastic to get his lover back. Even he was afraid of what that would entail. He knew he was courting punishment from his Dom, but he knew being aggressive was the only thing at this point that was going to get through to Aaron.
Spencer had taken his time in the shower, then came out to see Aaron standing at the dresser again. He had, had it, and he was going to confront Aaron about it once and for all.
“You know I gave you time to grieve, to let go, because I know you, Aaron. I knew that a part of you would fall for him because he was innocent, and I know how you like taking apart the innocent. But, I thought you would have let go by now. You say you’re happy I’m home again, and I read in the journal where you punished him for wanting to stop the experiments, yet you aren’t acting like you’re happy I’m home.” Spencer glared at him, with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Are you questioning me?” Aaron turned and narrowed his eyes at Spencer.
“Yes! For god’s sakes, you keep looking at, or in that damn box, or one of these trinkets that are his. He isn’t coming back Aaron, but I’m home. I’m right here, and yet you’re just….”
“Just what, Pet.” The dangerous tone in Aaron’s voice didn’t have Spencer backing down, in fact, he stood toe to toe with him, daring him.
“You act like you’re more in love with him than you are with me. I’m right fucking here, I held on for you. I didn’t let myself fall in love with the other you because I couldn’t. You are the man I love, you are the man I would burn everything to the ground for. But, here you are pining.” Spencer spat, his eyes going cold and angry.
Aaron’s hand shot out and grabbed Spencer around the throat and squeezed. Spencer didn’t struggle, he had once watched Aaron snap a man’s neck with his strength. Many underestimated him and his lean body. What people didn’t understand was there was a strength of steel under that charismatic veneer. But, for the first time ever, Spencer was afraid.
“Do not test me.” The cold, hard eyes had never been trained on him. Spencer’s heart raced, but he knew he couldn’t back down, he need his Aaron back, completely and totally his.
“Or what? I know you won’t kill me, Aaron…Sir, I need you back. I need YOU back.”
Aaron was breathing heavy, and Spencer could see the internal debate going on in the man’s head. He could never hide his emotions from Spencer.
“Then tell me what that mark is on your thigh, and don’t lie to me, Spencer. You know that I will know if you are.”
Spencer tried to swallow around the hand on his throat.
“Aaron figured out who I was. Took him long enough, almost three months. He wanted sex, and I was trying to do everything I could to stop the drop I was falling into. He did that while I was restrained. I didn’t want it, I swear, Sir, I didn’t know what he was going to do. When he did it, I freaked out enough that I passed out.”
Aaron cocked his head to the side and pulled Spencer to him, close.
“That taints you. Makes you part his. I want it gone.”
Spencer closed his eyes and shook in Aaron’s grip.
“Yes. Yes, Aaron anything.”
“I should punish you for questioning me.” Aaron let him go, but he curled his finger in the ring hanging from Spencer’s collar. He pulled him to the cabinet then unlocked it.
“Strip.” Spencer’s fingers shook as he tried to open his shirt. He wasn’t going to beg, he knew it wouldn’t work. He had never given Aaron cause to punish him except for the one time, and he didn’t want to think about that time. After his punishment was over, he knew he would do anything for Aaron to not have it happen again. He knew what he had been doing when he confronted Aaron, now, he just hoped he got through it in one piece.
“Hurry up Pet.”
Spencer stripped as fast as he could and stood there naked and waiting. Aaron pulled out a chastity cage that had Spencer’s eyes widening. Aaron slipped it on and wrapped the ring around his balls and pressed it back, then tightened it. The cage locked, and Spencer was worried for the first time in a very long time.
“We are going to be spending all day in the playroom.” The leash attached to his collar, then Aaron attached a spreader bar and cuffs to his wrists. After wrapping a robe around him, Aaron led him to the playroom.
“Sir?” Spencer asked, but Aaron didn’t respond. When they got to the room, Spencer was made to lay on the table. His arms lifted by the bar and a hook was fastened in the middle holding his arms up. Aaron then did the same to his legs. Leads were then inserted into the sides of the cock cage and a Tensive Unit attached.
“Who do you belong to Spencer?” Aaron asked as he sat in one of the comfortable chairs he had pulled over next to the table.
“You, Sir.” Spencer shook with fear as he watched Aaron, not sure what he was going to do. When he turned on the Tens Unit remotely, Spencer jerked on the table but held in a scream.
“You’re right, Pet. But I wasn’t pining,” Aaron bit out as he pressed the remote again. “I was grieving. I am allowed to grieve the loss of someone, am I not?”
“Ye…yes Sir.” Spencer breathed hard through the pain that shot through his groin.
“And will you question me like that again?”
“A part of me wants to be angry at you, but this punishment is about you questioning me. Questioning how I feel about you. You should know by now, Spencer, that I would do anything for you.”
“Yes, Sir. I know you do.”
Aaron knew Spencer was sincere, but he wanted his lover to understand he was in charge. He set-up the Tens Unit to cycle through randomly. It would give Spencer a period of rest, then cycle through the electrical pulses that went right through his penis.
Standing, he left Spencer alone, then went to their bedroom. He had things to take care of, then, after Spencer’s punishment was over, they would talk. The talk they should have had weeks ago the two of them had been putting off.
Two hours later, Aaron came back down and noticed that Spencer had passed out. He almost, not quite, but almost felt sorry that he had used such a severe punishment. Carefully he released Spencer, and his lover whined as his legs and arms were released. He then carefully removed the cock cage. Aaron helped Spencer to sit up, wrapped the robe around him, then picked him up in his arms. Even he had his limits, he knew Spencer didn’t deserve an all day punishment when the only thing he really did was made him confront himself on losing the other Spencer.
When he stepped into the tub with Spencer in his arms, the younger man whimpered slightly.
“Shh,” Aaron held the man curled in his lap close to him. His fingers traced the rune over Spencer’s heart. It had become a habit over the last few weeks that his Pet had been home. Closing his eyes he bussed a kiss on Spencer’s temple. “You’re right. I haven’t been myself. When he first showed up, it threw my world Pet. And, again you’re right, he was…innocent, but far from naive. I did, and I think a part of me always will love him, but I’ve come to realize it was idealized. I saw what you would have been with a different mother, a different set of circumstances and it was…intoxicating. But he could never be what you are Pet. He could never truly be my everything.” Aaron cupped Spencer’s chin and made him look up. A wry smile crossed Aaron’s lip as he bent his head and kissed him. “The things you do, for me, he could never do. He’s too steeped in his morals.”
Spencer took a deep breath and just enjoyed being wrapped in Aaron’s arms.
“I love you, Aaron.” Spencer shuddered in Aaron’s arms as he settled more. “I’m not going anywhere ever again.”
That was the crux of the issue. Aaron feared losing him again and sitting there in the bath Spencer realized that fear was what had been keeping Aaron at arms distance. He felt strong arms holding him even closer to him and melted against his lover.
“I know, and I know I haven’t been myself around you, I’m sorry love.”
“This wasn’t easy for any of us. I missed you so much.”
Aaron pet his hair and ran one hand over his warmed skin. He shivered slightly as he relaxed even more.
“Why don’t we wrap up things at work then take a few weeks at the Villa in Spain. We’ll take JJ and Jack with us. She can help with Jack and also sort through all of the invites we’ll inevitably receive once we arrive.” Aaron held Spencer close, as he let go even more of the feelings he had for the other Spencer. He knew he had not treated his love very well in the time he had been back. Aaron had been thrown, then adapted, and now he had been thrown again. He did not lie to Spencer, he was glad to have his lover back, now he just had to reassure Spencer he really had let go, the evidence of that was in the bedroom. He had put all of the other Spencer’s things in a box and placed it in his closet. He had not wanted to get rid of everything completely, but he was not going to be consumed by it anymore.
“Yes, I think we need it, Aaron.”
“We’ll invite Jackson.” Spencer nodded as he snuggled more against Aaron.
“I watched you with Jason. Tell me what you did. I want to know all of it.”
Spencer turned in Aaron’s arms and carefully relayed everything he had done in the other world. Aaron didn’t look shocked, not till he started to talk about Strauss and her family.
“Spencer! They were innocents, you know our rules. No children.”
“I know that Aaron,” Spencer shouted as the full reality of what he had done, that he took the lives of children for his own revenge, hit him full force. “Oh fuck.” The panic attack came fast and hard, but Aaron was there, talking him through it. He didn’t have them often, usually only during a flashback or nightmare. “Oh fuck, fuckfuckfuck..” Spencer kept saying over and over as he tried to bury his head against Aaron’s strong chest.
“It’s done now, and you have to live with the decisions you made Spencer. I’ll be here, I’ll help you through it, but you have to face it.”
Closing his eyes he tried hard not to see their faces. He never saw the faces of those he killed, because it never mattered. They were playthings, mostly to get information, but sometimes…sometimes he killed because he wanted to. The waitress that had flirted too heavily with Aaron and wouldn’t take no for an answer. The Sub that had kept following Aaron around the club every time they went. The woman that was naked and lounging on Aaron’s office chair, who had tried to use sex to get custody of her children from a good man. There were more, but never, ever children. Spencer knew he was different, knew even his psychosis was different in that he had no want to kill animals, set fires, or hurt children. He actually loved kids, their minds were so open and malleable. He thought of the teens he had mentored over the years and knew it would hurt if any of them had gotten hurt. He felt the panic moving through him, shutting him down, and all he saw were the faces from photographs on Straus’s desk. He knew then they would haunt his dreams for weeks to come, maybe even for the rest of his life.
“Spence, I think we need to talk,” JJ came into his office without even knocking. He was working on some paperwork at home, he hadn’t wanted to go into the office that day, he was still reeling from the knowledge of what he had done. Which made him avoid JJ even more.
He set his pen down but didn’t look up at her. In fact, he looked towards the wall to her left and behind her, not making eye contact with her.
“Spence, what happened over there that you don’t want to even look at me? You know you can tell me anything, right?” JJ walked around the desk and grabbed his chair and turned him around. She leaned down and looked right into his eyes. “Tell me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you Jayje.”
“But you’re hurting us. You know you’re like my little brother, now tell me.”
Spencer gently grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. He laid his head against her chest, more for the comfort than anything else.
“It’s Henry. He lived in that other world. And he was beautiful and wonderful. He looked a lot like you JJ. Blond, but he had blue eyes like you do, he asked a million questions, and he and Jack were the best of friends.” Spencer couldn’t help the tears that sprang to his eyes.
“Oh, Spence. You loved him didn’t you?”
Spencer nodded and JJ just held him tighter.
“I’m sorry Spence. I wish I could say it doesn’t hurt because it does. But, I’m glad you told me.” JJ wrapped her arms around him and just held onto him.
“I tried so hard to not love anyone. I knew that Jack if he existed, would be impossible not to fall in love with but Henry. He loved his uncle, so much. And the others, they never even gave the other Spencer a chance to grow out of the hole they shoved him in. I stupidly said I’d watch him, as a way to prove that I, and by extension, the other Spencer wasn’t a failure at kids. He didn’t even have to worm his way in. He was bright and loving and so much like you. He-” Spencer stopped. He wasn’t going to give JJ that pain.
“Tell me, Spence.” JJ started to card her fingers through his hair. She was the only one that ever got away with that from both Spencer and Aaron.
“He was so trusting in me. Jack’s always been that way but seeing it in another kid. We were playing that first night and he went running and jumped off the arm of the couch, trusting that I wasn’t going to let him fall. He even made me like his father.”
“I know that Aaron sent you to take care of him. I never looked up what happened or had Penny look for him.”
“He hurt you. No one is allowed to hurt you,” Spencer said. He thought back to the satisfaction he’d felt as he had slipped the knife up under the man’s rib cage. He had missed his heart on purpose, nicking his lung instead. The man had died coughing up his own blood. A little destruction to the room and a few kicks from the knife and a few bruises before he had actually died and it was meant to look like a scuffle had happened. Given that he had been looking into the seedier people at the motel he was staying at for a case, and one of the drug runners who stayed there was found with the knife in his bag, it had been an open and shut case with no one else looked at.
“Why would anyone dare to, with you and Aaron at my back? Did Aaron tell you that while you were gone one of the pimps that their pros service the Senators jumped a guy who was going to mug me? He beat the shit out of him and helped to right my clothes, picked up my purse. I’m untouchable, even to men like that who only see women as things.”
“They see you as his, and he has shown what he will do who those who mess with his things.”
“Are we good, Spencer? No more hiding? No more trying to be anywhere but where I am?”
“Yes.” Spencer leaned a little more into JJ’s chest, seeking comfort. JJ though only allowed it for a few seconds before she pushed his head away to where she could kiss his forehead, wiping at the lipstick left behind.
“I want…” JJ bit at her lip and looked unsure of herself. “Can you draw me a picture of him? Of him laughing?”
“Sure. I’ll order some of those special charcoals that you love my drawings with. We can frame it and put it in your room.”
“Big like that one of the sea of carnations you did for the east hallway?”
“I can do that. I’ll have to order in the paper of that size but I can have it in a week and have something mocked up before it gets here.”
“Thank you, Spence.” JJ slid off his lap and moved out of the room, not looking back. Spencer tried to settle himself but the thought of Henry, perfect little Henry had brought up the want of a child in him again. He knew he needed to talk to Aaron about it and soon.
Spencer let himself into his apartment, Aaron had told him the code for the alarm even though it was one that Spencer would have used if he had been the one to set it up. He didn’t look at the room as he turned off the alarm. The apartment was the same size as Aaron’s so he by himself had a lot of room. There was a little bit of clutter on the coffee table that looked like an assignment, given the books and notepad laying there as well. He moved over and found that it was an assignment for a class that wasn’t due for at least two months. Spencer gathered the items up and looked around for the room that the other Spencer had put his office in. He found it and set the items on the desk. He found the journals with typed entries on a bookshelf but ignored them as he looked for everything to do with schoolwork.
There was a lot of information on degrees and things on a notepad that was beside the monitor for the computer. A list of ones that the other Spencer felt he should have as well as ones he should do just for fun as well as ways to get around having to be in class. Everything that had been done for each class that the other Spencer had either enrolled in or finished while Spencer had been gone was in a separate three-ring binder. Spencer sat down in the office chair and went through each class. He found that the other Spencer had upped his thesis on his master’s and had finished it as well as moved onto the Ph.D. portion of it. The sign in information for the online classes was on a list in the front of each folder as Spencer found that he was enrolled in three different classes at three different schools, besides his Ph.D. work. He was glad for it all. There was a handwritten note on the last of the school work folders that said that his secretary was the contact that the schools had for him in case him needing contacting.
Spencer had a secretary. He was still a little shocked about that. Spencer booted up the computer and when it was ready he searched out all the information on the Grimes Tech project he’d been signed onto. He found all the information on Jackson Grimes as well. Spencer had known of the man but they didn’t run in the same circles. He tried to figure out how Jackson had got onto him and found no link.
There was little changed on his home computer even though it had been upgraded. He figured that the machine might not even been released for public use. The tablet that had been in Aaron’s bedroom hadn’t been a cheap thing. Spencer found the digital files for everything related to school and even played around learning about the new schools that he was going to. While a lot of what the other Spencer had done in his personal life was heavy handed, Spencer understood why he had done a lot of it. He was upset that he’d never get to meet the man, even just to talk.
Regret wasn’t something that Spencer was ever used to feeling, even before he didn’t regret things that he did or didn’t do in his life. His mind really didn’t allow it. He’d never regret the swap that took him out of his life and dropped him into a new one because it changed him greatly. He was sure that the bad would come with the good.
Spencer’s phone chirped and he looked to see that it was from JJ. He opened up his text messaging app and found a picture of Henry cuddled down in bed with a blanket wrapped around him and a teddy bear clutched to his chest. What Spencer could see of the bear was that he had glasses. Spencer touched his own face, where he used to wear glasses. In even the short time since he’d had the surgery to correct his eyesight, the indents on his nose disappeared. He didn’t miss them or contacts.
Henry loves this bear. Calls him Pen. Will got it for him this morning.
Spencer texted her back cooing over the image. He set the phone down and remembered the other JJ, no Will, and no Henry. Will had been killed on the job after he’d left JJ after losing Henry while he was still in the womb. Every single person inside of the other Aaron’s household was broken in some way and Aaron had built them back up. He’d built them up the way that benefited him the most.
Grabbing a notepad, Spencer started to write down the next paper he wanted to do for the psychology community. Stockholm Syndrome and its ability to seem right when there is no other option. He wrote down a few points and a little research he’d have to do but the majority of the paper had been wrote inside his own head over the past six months. He’d just have to try and find a few cases that would show he was right in this world. He also made a note that his next degree he wanted to pursue was a degree in sexuality. He wanted to understand himself better and his new look on his own life and his own sexuality.
Spencer looked at the printed, bound journals and knew that he couldn’t put it off any longer. He found the journals were labeled and in a perfect chronological order. He grabbed the whole stack of them and moved into the living room, setting them down before he went to make coffee. His kitchen was laid out closer to how the much larger kitchen in the mansion had been. He didn’t mind it as he’d never really cared where things were before. Before he’d joined the BAU he’d had a few plates and a few bits of silverware, enough for him as he didn’t have people over. After he’d joined the BAU he’d got enough plates that if something ever happened and the team came over he’d have enough matching plates, bowls and other various materials for eating. After Will and then Henry were added, Spencer had given those away and bought a new matching set that had twelve of everything. It had always looked wrong to see his cabinets that no one used but he hadn’t wanted to seem weird to not have something that was so normal.
The coffee maker was new and very expensive and again a match to what was in the other Spencer’s office in both the home and at the law firm. Spencer found the brand that he’d found he liked in the various bits for the machine and made himself a cup before prepping another set for quicker making. He moved back into the living room area and ensconced himself in the reading chair in the corner. It was from his old apartment and he was glad that it was there. It seemed that the furniture had been kept in the move. There were a few new books on the shelves and one caught his eye as one that he’d been looking for. Spencer moved to it and opened it up. It was in perfect condition.
This is for accepting my job offer and helping me hopefully make the world a better place.
Spencer stared at it. He found the certificate of authenticity in the back of the book. This wasn’t just a good edition of the book but a first edition. It was a gift from Jackson for taking the job offer. Spencer slipped the book back and vowed to read that as soon as he could. He knew that he couldn’t put off the journals any longer. He sat back down and grabbed the first one. It was printed on normal copy paper and the font was smaller but not so small that it was hard to read. He wasn’t shocked to figure out that it was double sided and each book covered roughly a month. There was a lot of information in between the covers of the binders. He resisted reading until he made a vow to himself that he wasn’t going to stop until he was done. He wasn’t going to try and get more information from Aaron until every single word had been read.
A knock at the door stopped Spencer as his eyes fell over the first sentence.
Aaron was standing right there when Spencer opened the door.
“I wanted to…” Aaron looked down the hallway before kind of pushing past Spencer and entering the room. “Jack is engrossed in the TV and he knows to call if he wants me but have you started to read the journals?”
“No. I was just getting ready to start.”
“There are…a few things I want to tell you before you read them in his words if he even cared to actually put them into the journals.”
“Okay.” Spencer sat back down and Aaron shut and locked the door.
“Strauss wasn’t the only person to die. Hers was an alcohol related death. She drank so much that she got depressed and killed herself. There were a suicide and a health related death.”
“Okay.” Spencer felt like he was trying to wring blood out of a turnip. Aaron looked nervous and Spencer wondered exactly why he was so upset. “Aaron, you either start talking or I start reading.”
“Gideon killed himself.”
Spencer looked at Aaron and hoped that he was joking but the longer he looked at the man the more he realized that he wasn’t. Gideon really had killed himself. If Spencer hadn’t been sitting down, he probably would have fallen as his knees felt weak. He closed his eyes because he wasn’t liking visual input at the moment. He tried to breathe steadily but he knew that he wasn’t when he felt Aaron crouch down in front of him and wrap his hands around Spencer’s, forcing them to relax so he could link their hands.
“It was…that damned Japanese embowelment thing.”
“Yes. He was found in his cabin two weeks after he did it. He’d bought the dagger a few weeks before. There was no food in the cabin and it was all neat. The team that went, because Strauss kept us from it, concluded that he’d been planning it a while. There wasn’t a lot of testing that could be done but there was no sign that someone else did it. There was no foul play at all.”
“He’s gone?” Spencer asked. He’d made his peace with Gideon while in the other world but he’d hoped to be able to confront the man before he finally said his goodbyes to him. Gideon was already gone from his heart and it didn’t hurt but he hadn’t ever expected Gideon to kill himself.
“Who else?” If Gideon was the lighter news, Spencer wondered who was next. Who had died due to health related issues?
“The other Spencer was informed a few weeks after the fact that William Reid died in his sleep from a heart attack.”
“He was late for work and when his boss couldn’t get a hold of him, he sent a coworker to him. When there was no answer and his car was in the drive, they called the cops and had them break in. He was found asleep in his bed with his cat in the bed with him.”
“That’s…damn.” Spencer wasn’t sure what to feel about that. He had assumed that he’d come home to find William Reid dead but by something different than a heart attack. A car accident or even a former client killing him. The other Spencer should have killed him. Spencer had profiled that from the moment that he found out that the other Spencer had killed his father in his world.
“I need to read the journals, Aaron. You can either sit there or go back to your place but once I start, don’t stop me. Don’t interrupt me, unless the building is on fire.”
Aaron sat down on the couch, at the closest point to Spencer. Sitting on the table there was a book and Aaron picked it up, opening it to the bookmarked page and started to read. Spencer watched him for several minutes before he took to his own reading. Getting back into the chair and getting comfortable, Spencer cracked open the first journal again. He read every single word that the other Spencer wrote. Six binders full of words that were so close his own style of writing.
The differences were easy to understand. The other Spencer was used to writing for cases from a lawyer point of view and not from a cop point of view. But it was his writing. It was his life, laid out wrote by another man.
Spencer stared at the last page that was in a code. The page was worn like it had been swapped from binder to binder. Spencer stared at it while he tried to figure it out. When it came to him, Spencer ripped the page out of the book and moved to the desktop computer in the office. He sat down and brought up the modified search function that the paper told him to. He typed the filename and a hidden file appeared on the desktop.
As the words inside the file washed over his brain, Spencer wanted to puke. The list of deaths at the hands of the other Spencer, starting with the ones who had helped keep Cindi in captivity. Then moving onto Gideon and William, Strauss and her entire family. It was his death list. Every single person that the other Spencer had killed that hadn’t been in the line of duty. There was something though that bothered Spencer. He moved back to the living room and found the volume that he wanted and read through a page. John had visited him. Addicts knew addicts and there was no way that John had left without some kind of suspicion. Spencer needed to talk to him and make sure that he understood that it was all good without revealing that he hadn’t been him.
Spencer erased that file and made sure that it could never be recovered. Jackson had left a program on the computer for just that. Spencer moved into the living room so that he and Aaron could talk. The man was still reading his book but the binder had been disturbed some that Spencer had left on the stand by his reading chair.
“It took you months to figure out that it wasn’t me?” Spencer asked as he sat down in the reading chair. Aaron set his book aside and focused on him.
“What tipped you off?”
“How he was in Atlantic City. Especially with Jackson Grimes. There was something off and I started to watch more and more and things weren’t fitting. I read through some of the journals then but not all the way. Enough to realize that you hadn’t gone crazy and it all fit. What is that quote, ‘when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth’ from Sherlock Holmes? I should have known that the scars felt wrong. You would have told me about them before that night, the first time that he and I had sex. He acted like there was nothing wrong with the scars being there and there wasn’t but it was more that it wasn’t something that I knew.”
“So three months. The Aaron knew instantly. I think before he realized that I wasn’t marked. He never admitted to that but he never treated me like his Spencer.” Spencer looked at Aaron trying to figure out if he knew about the deaths at the other Spencer’s hands. Aaron wouldn’t have touched him if he had so it was another pissed Spencer off. “You loved him as me for three months, how long did it take for you to fall in love with him?”
Aaron blustered for a few seconds before he got mad. He shot up off of the couch he was on and moved closer to Spencer. That anger at one point would have scared him, would have made him stop but not now.
“You fell in love with the other Aaron, Spencer. I saw the flush of your face in the shower that had nothing to do with the heat or arousal.”
“You’ve not answered my question, Aaron.”
Aaron’s mouth was set in a firm line and Spencer knew he wasn’t going to get that answer out of him. So he decided to change tactics.
“After he revealed, I’m sorry you confronted him, did he tell you everything?”
“What the hell do you mean?” Aaron asked. He was upset. At what, Spencer wasn’t sure. He tried to think of it and the man wasn’t helping, playing everything so close to the vest.
“Did he tell you everything he did when you two weren’t together? What happened on his trip to Chicago? After the team left?”
“He gambled. He told me that before I knew who he was.”
Spencer realized then how Haley was able to cheat on him and he never noticed, or if he did notice, he didn’t do anything. He’d rather that things stayed happy even if he wasn’t. He knew something was up but he didn’t push it. It was how he had gone so long before figuring it out. It all hit a point of too much and he had to face it.
“You pathetic cock whipped man.” Spencer wasn’t sure what reaction he was going to get for his words but Aaron just leaning over and trapping him in the chair wasn’t it. Spencer locked eyes with him, not looking away, not blinking. He wasn’t weak, he’d never truly been weak, just hadn’t had the chance to actually know how strong he was.
“Say that again,” Aaron’s voice was low and dangerous but Spencer wasn’t scared.
“I said that you are a pathetic cock whipped man. You let him lead you around by your cock and never even questioned it. He blinded you to what he truly was.”
“You can’t fucking hold a thing against me, Spencer. You fell in love with that other Aaron.” Aaron was pissed and Spencer knew it but he didn’t care. He couldn’t believe that Aaron was so stupid. Spencer pushed up out of the chair and Aaron only backed up enough to let him up.
“At least I know what I fell in love with,” Spencer sneered at Aaron. He’d paid for not really letting himself see what he had fallen in love with at first but in the end, he knew exactly who he had fallen in love with. He had loved the other Aaron despite the flaws but this Aaron. It was going to take time for him to love him like he had before he left.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Those journals that you read?” Spencer said, pointing at the printed out journals. “You said you hadn’t read about anything after you found out the truth but there was enough there for you to see him for who he was but you let love blind you.
“Yes?” Aaron was getting impatient and Spencer didn’t care. He’d let Haley manipulate him and then turned around and let the other Spencer do it as well.
“That’s not all that he left me. You are fucking naive.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Aaron’s hand settled around Spencer’s bicep not letting him move away.
“Those men who were connected to Nathan Ford that died? He killed them. He killed William. He killed Gideon. He killed Strauss and her husband and her kids.” Spencer stopped to take a breath and to figure out if he wanted to admit to the rest. What his counterpart had done. “He killed my Sponsor, Aaron because the man came to see him after Gideon and William’s death and he knew that he hadn’t fooled him. He didn’t admit to that killing but I read between the lines. He killed the men from the Company because they tainted the lifestyle that he lived and they destroyed lives. I couldn’t give a fuck about those deaths. He killed William Reid because he hates that man so much and he didn’t like living in a world with him. He killed Gideon for his own personal reasons but the on paper reason was he was protecting me from his influence. Strauss pissed him off so he destroyed her before killing her. He killed my Sponsor for personal reasons as I said as he would never have let him run around like he was, living my life.”
“Yes. He was a damned sociopathic serial killer and you didn’t even fucking know. He operated under the nose of the BAU for months.” Spencer shook off the hold that Aaron had on him. “I may have fallen in love with a psychopath but at least I knew who I was falling in love with and letting fuck me. You let yourself be led around by your cock and never looked back. The other Aaron hinted that Spencer was a master at killing without getting caught but I just thought that it was pride. But that Spencer killed his way through the FBI and even got it blamed on others and none of you even fucking realized it.”
“Who was your sponsor?”
“My first meeting of the Beltway Clean Cops, I met him. I knew who he was instantly. I called him sir and he made me call him John. I had to watch as the other Aaron pressured the John Richmond of his world, a man who had never gained control of his vices, who was the epitome of corrupt, into giving up the BAU to someone who would actually be a good leader of it, instead of the man who had been the Unit Chief. I wanted to come back and see my John who was a good man but Spencer robbed me of that, he made a passing note of his apparent overdose, the only reason I can figure of why is that he wanted me to know he was dead. Because John Richmond was nobody to me. Coffee after meetings but no one knew who we were.”
Aaron stumbled back away from Spencer and sat down on the edge of the couch, hard. Spencer wanted to move forward and touch. To ground himself but his anger was right there on the edge and he was afraid of what he would do if he did. He was afraid of what he would allow Aaron to do to him to make the pain go away.
“I never…” Aaron looked up at him and begged with his eyes. “He really did all of that?”
“You didn’t have an inkling?”
“No, especially not with Strauss.”
“Aaron bragged on him being damned good at what he did, including having him trained in Japan. I don’t think he would have ever gone after Strauss if his Aaron had been here to control him. I knew from the way that people reacted to me that Spencer wasn’t someone to cross. I wonder what would have happened if you had ended up being a threat.” Spencer’s anger left him as he looked at Aaron. The man’s world was rocked. He was devastated.
“What was Gideon like in that world?” Aaron asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Spencer moved forward and when he got close enough, Aaron pulled him into his lap. Spencer allowed it, even starting to comb his fingers through Aaron’s hair to help settle him.
“I…” Spencer stopped. Aaron didn’t need that information but he understood why he wanted it. “Our Gideon got the much better end of the deal. The other Gideon has lived for years in a cage in the bottom of Aaron’s mansion. Being fed through a feeding tube and having no contact. He and Rossi were a couple, I don’t know if that was ever really used in conjunction with what they were. They took in Aaron after everything with Aaron’s family but instead of staying when Aaron started to show traits of what he was, Gideon fled. Aaron never forgave him that. Then Gideon tried to convince Spencer that Aaron was lying to him and cheating on him, that Jack hadn’t been conceived with Haley through In Vitro. Aaron destroyed him then.”
“Spencer was his.”
“Exactly. Those two are perfect for each other and I truly believe that if Aaron ever did tire of him and choose to let him go, Spencer would burn the world down around him. Aaron would outright kill him if he ever thought of leaving.”
“I made mention once that his Aaron seemed like a psychopath. Spencer said I put words in his mouth but he has to know.”
“He does but Aaron what would you think of someone who was willingly with a psychopath for over a decade? My circumstances notwithstanding.”
“I’d watch them closer. God, he really did manipulate me didn’t he?” Aaron buried his head in Spencer’s neck, inhaling and exhaling. Spencer started to rub his fingers on Aaron’s scalp harder, trying to calm him down. This was his fault. Another life fucked up because he and Charlie were idiots. They thought they were smarter than everyone else.
Spencer tipped Aaron’s head back and kissed him. He couldn’t do much to erase what had happened but he could do his damnedest to make up for it and to start, he needed to make Aaron feel better. Aaron’s hands buried themselves in his hair and held him still as he took control of the kiss. Spencer let him dictate it all and when his head was pushed down, Spencer took that as a queue to what Aaron wanted. Spencer kissed down his neck before while he worked on getting his hands on the top of Aaron’s pants.
Aaron didn’t stop Spencer from sliding down out of his lap. His knee twinged so Spencer stopped moving. It wasn’t going to allow him to do that, not in that way.
“Up,” Spencer said and Aaron did as he asked. Spencer slipped back up onto the couch and coaxed Aaron in between his spread legs. Spencer licked at Aaron’s hard cock before taking it fully in his mouth. A thumb brushed down his cheek before it moved up to bury itself in his hair. Aaron was hesitant as Spencer got used to him. With his knee, sex had been different with the other Aaron at the end. Spencer relaxed his throat and took Aaron in further, feeling the full body shudder from the man before the grip on his hair changed from just holding to directing him.
It wasn’t long before Spencer knew that Aaron was close so he doubled his efforts.
“Spencer, I’m…” Aaron pushed Spencer down farther onto his cock as he came. Spencer held back the tears that wanted to form, Aaron didn’t need to see them. He didn’t need to see Spencer’s guilt. He pushed the guilt down and cleaned off Aaron’s cock before letting it slip from his mouth. Aaron pushed him back onto the couch, climbing into his lap and kissing him. He was thankful that Aaron didn’t reach for his cock as it wasn’t hard and Spencer wasn’t sure that he could get hard.
Spencer gave everything in the kiss, pouring all of his guilt into it. He kept back the tears, though, that would give him away.
“I have a confession,” Aaron said as he pulled back.
“Okay.” Spencer wasn’t sure what kind of confession Aaron could have, he never did anything that needs confessing.
“I was happy when Gideon died, not for how it happened now that I know the truth but I feared him if he ever came back into your life.”
“Because he was in love with me?” Spencer asked. Aaron’s mouth dropped open and he just stared at Spencer.
“I realized it after he came back to the unit after Boston. I thought I was just seeing things until Hankel. He pulled away from you then and I was happy. I was afraid of him going to you when you were vulnerable. Then it was obvious that you were using and I stepped in to make sure that he didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Because he never approached you. You seemingly didn’t know or weren’t acknowledging it so I just kept an eye.” Aaron leaned back a little so that they could see each other better. “The other Spencer made me face something or lose him. I thought it was you so I bared my soul to him.”
“What?” Spencer asked. He wasn’t sure how much more guilt he could take. How much more he could take at all.
“When Foyet attacked me in my apartment, he didn’t just use his knife to hurt me. To…rape me. He raped me fully.”
“Aaron, why didn’t you…” Spencer stopped when Aaron’s eyes hardened.
“At first I wasn’t sure I remembered it correctly. Unlike with his knife, he took his time raping me. I was in an out with pain and blood loss. It wasn’t until after I was home that I remembered it all by then there was nothing to be done.”
“You should have talked to someone about it. Anyone.”
“I was going to because it was getting to me and then Foyet came back and I beat him to death. It felt so good to do that and I feared myself. I knew I wasn’t becoming my father but I hated how good it felt.”
“You knew he was dead then. You saw it with your own eyes, did it with your own hands.” Spencer brought their head back together, letting forehead rest on forehead. “He died too quickly.”
“He didn’t die quickly,” Aaron said jerking out of Spencer’s hold.
“No. The Foyet in the other world. I should have gut shot him instead of a headshot.”
“What?” Aaron looked like he didn’t understand a single word that Spencer said.
“Foyet was trying to take down Aaron in the other world but for reasons that would never stand up in court. Foyet was in lust with Haley and he was the reason that she tried to take Jack and flee from Aaron. Aaron tracked her down and took Jack back from her and killed her. That set Foyet after Aaron. But Foyet was his own brand of horror. A predilection for underage girls, using women to further his own means, using the FBI to get what he wanted. He was a corrupt man before he turned his eyes on Aaron. Anyway, he overstepped and was removed from the FBI and it wasn’t Aaron that did it, not the last push that is. Foyet went after Jack and I. He had a gun on us and was threatening to kill us. It’s when I injured my knee again. I took the kill shot because he wasn’t going to stop. He was stark raving mad and there was no way that he wasn’t going to go after Jack again. In that moment, all I was, was a father protecting a child. That man was going to come after him again so I made sure he wasn’t ever getting up again. I’m sure that if I had it to do over again, I’d make the same choice but I want to resurrect him and make him bleed out slowly while I watch.”
“I don’t ever want you that close to him again. He sounds worse in the other world than he was here and I don’t want you to even breath the same as him.” Aaron leaned in and kissed him, it was soft and gentle and Spencer settled into it, taking it for what it was, Aaron reassuring himself.
“Spencer referenced a club in his journal but he didn’t put down any details. A club?” Spencer asked after Aaron had swapped their positions, him down on the couch and Spencer sitting sideways in his lap.
“Once you have the chance for a day or two with no cases over a weekend, we’ll go to the club and you can meet Trevor.”
“Who is Trevor?” Spencer asked, getting a little jealous.
“Trevor is a Switch who has been helping to train me. To make sure that I didn’t hurt him. He bought a membership for both of us. He knew what the other Aaron would turn you onto.” Aaron pulled Spencer in just a little closer to him and his hand slipped a button loose before finding his nipple. Spencer hissed at the sensation. “I know you didn’t take them out and I understand but Spencer bought several pairs for himself. Including several ones that won’t set off metal detectors. When you want to take these out, you have options. I should get back to Jack. In your closet, you’ll find a new box of letters from your mother to him.”
Spencer slid off Aaron’s lap and watched as the man left the apartment. Spencer wanted to visit the club alone. He was sure that somewhere in the apartment was the information on it, he just had to find it. Spencer grabbed his cell phone and lounged on the couch for a few. He brought up the texting application and picture of Henry again. He’d missed him so much. Spencer scrolled through the texts to and from the other Spencer and JJ. There were pictures and little stories about things he’d done. Thanks for watching Henry. Spencer was glad that the other Spencer hadn’t put off watching him just because it wasn’t really him and Henry meant nothing to him.
The texts to and from Morgan and Garcia were less than what they had been before but Spencer wasn’t shocked on that. The ones to Rossi were slightly higher but that wasn’t a shock either. To and from Prentiss were roughly the same. Discussions on books and films. He found a new number in the phone, for a Trevor, who Spencer assumed was the Switch who was helping Aaron. It was mainly notifications that they were home from a case and that Aaron wanted a session. Spencer was tempted to ask if the man was going to be at the club that night but Spencer didn’t. He’d go but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself.
Spencer texted JJ and asking her to set up the lunch with the team at Aaron’s around noon and asking if he could have Henry for the afternoon after that. He slipped the phone into his pocket as he got up off the couch. He went to the bedroom and looked at it. The mattress was new and Spencer had figured that would happen. He found the jewelry box with the various nipple rings, studs, and even belly button ones. Spencer fingered his own and knew that he’d get one as soon as possible. He found the silicone ones and swapped out what he was wearing for a set of the studs. He didn’t put the platinum ones in the jewelry box but instead set them beside it. He needed to put them with the rest f the set but he wasn’t sure that in Aaron’s apartment was the best place.
A quick look through his dresser didn’t wield much in the way of different. New on some things but close to what he wore. The clothes closet was a very different story. There were only a few of his old outfits in there, the ones he’d bought more recently but the rest was all close to what he’d been wearing in the other world. Spencer looked through them, one piece at a time. The colors were more his style but a few things that were in there had been solely for the other Spencer, still, Spencer knew he would wear them. In the back of the closet though there were clothes that Spencer knew were for the club. There were a few mesh shirts and leather pants. He’d got used to what he’s worn in the other world but it truly wasn’t his style, this was. Behind the club clothes was another surprise. Spencer’s hand closed around silk. He pulled out the four items before really looking at them. Two were kimonos and two were plain robes. The tags were still on them and Spencer knew they had been bought just for him. Spencer barely looked at the price but instead just looked at the handwriting.
To S from S
Spencer slipped those back inside and found the box that Aaron had told him about. He found the first letter from his Mom to the other Spencer with a date that was roughly after Aaron told him that Spencer had gone to see Diana. He read through each of them. Spencer had made peace with her and the ghost of his own mother. One good thing to come out of it all. When he was halfway through the letters, he felt his phone vibrate twice, two messages but he ignored them. He pushed on and finished the letters before he moved to the closet. He found the outfit that he wanted, tight jeans and one of the mesh shirts. The dark purple one. He dressed before he opened the messages. The first was from JJ telling him that the team was set for a lunch and that Henry was looking forward to spending the afternoon with him. The second was from Aaron, telling him that dinner was going to be around six.
Sorry. I won’t be over for dinner. A few things I want to do before bed and talking with the team.
That’s understandable. I’ll wait up for you if you want to stay over here.
Spencer wasn’t sure how he would do sleeping in bed alone. The other Spencer obviously did it on cases but Spencer hadn’t since after the other Aaron had killed Ethan.
I’ll come over when I am done.
There was no response but Spencer wasn’t sure what response that Aaron could have given. So he slipped the phone into his back pocket before he moved to the bathroom. He looked at him in the mirror. He looked different, even from when he’d last really looked at himself in the other world. He needed time to find himself in this world. To stretch his wings and see what it all was but first, he had to get everything straightened out.
Spencer found his wallet in the apartment, inside the messenger bag hanging on the coatrack. He was a little shocked as he was sure that he’d have to go to Aaron’s to get it. He looked through the wallet and found a card. There was a single address on it but what was behind it was a card to use on a reader to get into somewhere. Assuming it was for the club, Spencer slipped the wallet into his pants and grabbed the leather jacket on the hanger before slipping out of his apartment.
It was two blocks before Spencer could hail a cab and when he gave the address, the man driving looked at him weirdly. The driver said nothing though and the trip to the club was quick. The building he was dropped in front of was nothing like what he had expected. He saw the subtle sign for the club but above that was a hotel of sorts. Spencer had seen it before but never paid attention.
“Doctor Reid, is Mr. Hotchner on his way?” The man at the door asked as he opened it for Spencer.
“No, it’ll just be me tonight.”
“Well have a lovely night. You might like who we have as an exhibitionist today.” The man smirked at spencer and ushered him into the club. Spencer made his way along the corridor that he could hear music coming from. A woman stepped out in front of him and he stopped. She looked him up and down.
“He said that one day I would know. One day he would walk in alone and I would know that the Spencer in front of me wasn’t the same I had met before. I kind of thought him insane but no, here you are. Carlie Rees, Doctor Reid, why don’t we step into my office?”
Spencer wasn’t sure what was going on but he followed her. In the office were two men. Both seated on a couch. The collar on Carlie’s neck told him what she was but the other two he had no idea.
“Gentlemen, please,” Carlie said as she sat on the edge of the desk. She waved for Spencer to sit and then handed over paperwork. Spencer eyed it for a second, realizing it was an NDA. He read over the whole document and saw that the other Spencer had signed it. Movement alerted him that the men were moving. The bigger built man moved to sit in the chair while the more lithe man moved towards Spencer.
“He really wasn’t shitting us,” the man said as he crouched in front of Spencer. “Trevor Duncan, Doctor Reid. The man behind me is Broderick Rees, Carlie’s husband, and our Dom. Where is Mr. Hotchner?”
“At home with Jack.”
“Is Spencer back with his Sir and his son?” Broderick asked.
“Yes. He’s back home.”
“So we need to register a change of safeword. I doubt you want to use Vicaria.”
Spencer didn’t like being put on the spot but he’d been thinking for a while n the word. “Domum.”
“You utter that word in here or red and a guard will intervene.”
“Is there a rules pamphlet?”
“I’ll email it to you. Tonight just relax and enjoy. Trevor will be out on the floor if have any questions.”
“Thank you. Do you want me to…” Spencer pointed at the paperwork.
“No. It’s fine. Just go have fun.”
Spencer nodded and stood up. Broderick stood up as well but Carlie stayed seated on the desk and Trevor leaned into the spot beside her. Spencer looked at them once more before he stepped out of the office. He followed the music again to find that the club was pretty full for even a Saturday night. One of the guards spotted him and smiled before escorting him to a table. A glass of wine was brought over before Spencer had figured out exactly where he wanted to sit. Whether he wanted to look at the dance floor or to see the others scattered around in the tables. He took a drink of the wine and found it delightful. He settled in to watch the people at the tables. There were a few who Spencer could tell were getting off on being watched.
There were no sex organs visible but then cock and pussy weren’t the only way to get off. Spencer watched as Sub and Switch performed a private dance for their Doms they were in the lap of.
An hour went by and Spencer drank only that single glass of wine. Finger foods had been set down in front of him. He didn’t question it at all and just ate. He figured that a bill of some kind would be ready to settle before he left. He watched and he learned. It wasn’t like any of the clubs that Aaron had taken him but he figured it had been close enough to make the other Spencer happy. He trusted the club for that reason alone. Spencer would never have gone into a place that wasn’t safe.
“Aren’t you a pretty little thing?” a man asked as he sat down at the table. Spencer looked at him, a look of shock all over his face. Spencer looked around, not shocked that the man had called him pretty but that he’d even dared to sit down at his table. Before he could even think of saying anything, the man started to speak again. “I see you are without your guard dog tonight.”
Spencer locked eyes with the guard that was across the room, the only one in eyesight and the man started towards them.
“I didn’t invite you to sit down and just because my Dom isn’t here, doesn’t mean I’m going to do a damned thing with you. I don’t play games. He’s mine and if you ever want to fuck a Sub again I’d get up off of my table and go away.”
The guard was there with two others before the man could even react.
“This is your third strike, Larimer. You are out,” the guard who grabbed the man’s arm said.
“I demand you release me at once.”
“You know full well that Doctor Reid is in a committed relationship. You also know that you are supposed to ask before you sit down at a table with a Sub or a Switch who is alone. It’s your third strike, you are gone and you won’t get a full refund.” Broderick was right there and until he had started to talk, Spencer hadn’t realized that he was there.
“He threatened me!” the man yelled as he was escorted away.
“Dinner and drinks on the house tonight, Doctor Reid,” Broderick said. His eyes flashed a little worried.
“I’ll make Aaron aware but he won’t do anything, Broderick. You are not at fault for this.”
“Have a good evening, Doctor Reid.”
Spencer nodded and the man left him alone. He wasn’t shocked when a few minutes later a new glass of wine and another plate of finger foods were set down in front of him. He watched people as they moved in and around him but his mind was elsewhere. Thinking about how much he had changed and how he wasn’t going to regret those changes.
Spencer stretched out under the soft cool sheets of the bed that faced the open windows that looked out on a private beach and the Mediterranean Sea. Coming to Spain had been a perfect idea, getting away from the office and everyone in the house, Spencer was having a harder time reacclimating than he thought he would have. After his talk with JJ, Spencer knew he wanted more children. His time with Henry and Jack in the other world made him want the sound of little feet again, and Jack was growing so fast. Spencer was spending as much time as he could with the boy, but he missed him being younger and wanting more cuddles. He didn’t know if this was what they called baby fever or not, he just knew what he wanted. He understood it was also unusual with his sociopathy that he even wanted children, but he did. He didn’t really question anymore who he was, it was more of an intriguing dichotomy making him want to do some research, maybe developing a case study with himself at the center of the research. It wasn’t difficult for him to be honest with himself, he knew who he was and he embraced it. Setting all these thoughts aside, he turned on his side and smiled at Aaron who was lightly running fingers along his naked body.
JJ had come with them to help take care of Jack for them. She was with the boy in one of the other wings of the large house. Aaron had phoned Jackson and asked if he wanted to join them, and he, of course, said yes. Adam wasn’t going to be able to, he had classes to finish up before the end of the semester.
“It was a good idea to come here,” Aaron said before he bent and kissed Spencer.
“I’m glad we came also. We need this Aaron, both of us. Work, Jack’s activities, and all of the other things in our lives haven’t really let us reconnect except for that first couple of days.”
“You’re right. Jax won’t be here for a couple of days, why don’t we let JJ have Jack for the day, and we take the time just for us.”
Spencer sat up, after Aaron took off the cuffs, and moved to straddle Aaron’s legs. “I like that. We can go to that little cafe that makes those Spanish Tortillas and fresh Cafe de la Jolla. Do some shopping and bring something pretty back for JJ, something fun for Jack.”
Aaron slid his hands up Spencer’s back, closing his eyes he explored each and every scar that he could reach. Spencer shivered at the touch. This was what he had missed more than anything. Yes, the Domination and Submission was so much a part of their life, but these intimate moments, the way Aaron touched him and reveled in the marks he had put there. The sex was lazy, they took their time just touching, kissing and reconnecting like they should have been. There had been a few more hiccups. Times Spencer saw a faraway look in his lover’s eyes telling him he was thinking of the other Spencer, but it was happening less and less.
Spencer arched up as he slid his hands over his own body, taking one of Aaron’s own and putting it on his nipple. Aaron hissed as he thrust up, pulling on the rings, his other hand gripping the slim waist, fingers ghosting over new scars. Spencer closed his eyes as he stretched his arms up above his head, linking his fingers, arching even more as he gently rode Aaron’s cock. He stayed like that when Aaron grabbed his now aching cock and pumped making him cum, striping his stomach with his release. Not long after Aaron was gripping his hips chasing his own release.
They stayed like that still connected as Spencer leaned down and kissed Aaron. Slow, lazy, but no less passionate kisses meant not for arousal, but just for the intimacy. Arms came around him as he was held in a very tight embrace, a shuddering breath, and kisses to his temple.
“We should clean up,” Aaron’s voice was rough with emotion and Spencer loved hearing that.
“I love you,” Spencer murmured against skin that had warmed from their sex and the sun streaming through the windows as a light breeze teased the curtains open.
“I love you too my Pet,” Aaron whispered in his ear and Spencer knew this was going to be a day of play.
Breakfast they took their time at the cafe Spencer had wanted to go to, then a long walk along the beach. Spencer laughed and told Aaron how he thought it was all so very cliche, but it didn’t lessen their enjoyment. They both loved the beach and the water, it’s why all of their vacation properties were near an ocean. Spencer was enjoying the feel of the sun on his face, the fact that they had barely been outside for weeks had weighed on the both of them. The good thing about being the boss, they could stay as long as they wanted, even doing work from the Castillo if needed.
Jackson would be there soon, which was an issue he hadn’t talked to Aaron about yet. He had read all about Atlantic City and what happened there. The other Spencer had written down all of his thoughts on how he felt afterward. Spencer had a hard time handling the bubble of jealousy that rose up inside him. He knew he had needed to get Aaron to a better place mentally and emotionally before he even talked about this.
Spencer loved Jackson. He wasn’t in love with him like he was Aaron, but there were feelings there which he had never broached with Aaron, knowing his possessiveness with him. He had always harbored a fantasy of Jackson taking the whip, or a flogger to him, then taking him while Aaron watched. He shivered a little as the mental pictures of what it might be like floated in his mind.
“Something wrong Pet?”
Spencer spied a fishing boat coming into harbor, which made him curious to know what kind of catch they had brought in.
“Come on, let’s see what they have.” He knew he deflected, he was still trying to work out what it was he wanted in his own head before he voiced his desires. He saw Aaron frown a little, but he just turned in his Dom’s arms and kissed him stupid. “Later, right now I want to see what they brought in.”
Luckily Aaron softly chuckled which made Spencer grip his hand even tighter to pull him along. When they got to the boat, they saw all kinds of fresh fish and mollusks, the Mediterranean held a veritable bounty of fish. In perfect Spanish, Spencer talked with the Captain and made a quick deal with him.
“What did you just buy?” Aaron tucked Spencer into his side after money changed hands and their address was given.
“Clams, muscles, a few lobsters, shrimp, and a whole side of fresh Tuna, some mackerel, and a couple of others. It will be processed and delivered in a couple of hours.”
“And just what are we going to do with all this fresh bounty?”
“First, we go to that open air market where I get some fresh herbs, chicken, and that Spanish Chorizo you like along with some chilies and a few bottles of local wine. Fresh crusty bread, rice and saffron, then I cook you a fabulous dinner.”
This was a rare treat. Spencer loved to cook but often didn’t get the chance to. Now they had time, and though they employed a cook, Spencer wanted to spoil Aaron.
“Sounds wonderful. And what did I do to deserve this?” Aaron turned Spencer to look at him as they stopped along the beach.
“You made it possible to bring me back. We’ve been on shifting sand Aaron, and this time away, it’s for us to get back on solid ground again. I need us to be solid again.” Spencer leaned into Aaron, wrapping his arms around the man he loved. He sighed deeply as Aaron pulled him in closer and held him tight.
“I know, and I’m sorry my Pet. I should never have taken those two new cases. But, we’re here, and I’m going to show you in every way possible just how much I love you, and happy you’re home.”
Spencer laid his head against Aaron’s shoulder and just breathed in the scents around them. He knew there was more they needed to talk about, but he would bring it up at dinner. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the day. He started to pull away, but Aaron tightened his arm to keep Spencer close. The kiss was soft but no less possessive. The arm, the hand in his hair, gripping tight, the kiss it all went to Spencer’s head as he melted in Aaron’s arms.
Pulling away Aaron took Spencer’s hand and they lazily strolled back to the farmer’s market that they had passed earlier. Smiling, Spencer just kissed Aaron’s cheek before grabbing some canvas totes to shop for what he needed.
Aaron leaned against a pillar near one of the stalls and just watched as his lover walked through picking things up here and, there. He felt the smile on his face knowing he had let the other Spencer go. He had struggled there for a time because it was hard to believe that his love was back with him.
“He’s beautiful, si?” Aaron narrowed his eyes as he turned his head to look at the man standing next to him. Even he could admit the stranger was very good looking. His accent honey smooth and pleasantly thick. The man was tall, his complexion a dark olive tone, and the smile was deadly for anyone who would be interested.
“Yes, he is. He’s also mine.” Aaron turned and crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the stranger.
“I see. You wouldn’t be willing to….share?” The stranger’s smile turned feral as his eyes tracked Spencer moving through the market.
“No.” The flat dangerous tone in Aaron’s voice should have told the stranger to back off, but he didn’t.
“I would certainly make it worth your while.”
Aaron felt white hot rage surge through him as he grabbed the stranger’s arm in a tight grip and dragged him away from the market to a secluded spot not that far away.
“I do not prostitute my lover for anything. If you understood who you were propositioning, you would have thought better than to approach me. Now, if you want to continue being healthy you will turn around and leave. In fact, my own personal security will now be escorting you out of here and I don’t want to see your face again.” Aaron nodded towards the men who had previously blended well into the background.
“I am not intimidated by you.” Aaron saw the lie and let the man have it as he leaned in and whispered in his ear.
“You should be glad I didn’t use the knife currently resting against your ribs. I am more than skilled and have killed for less. Now, are you going to leave, or will this get very nasty?”
Aaron pulled back just enough to look the man in the eyes. When all he did was nod yes, Aaron pulled back and let the man leave. When he started to walk back to the market, he threw the wallet he had pilfered at the man walking behind him.
“Find out who he is, I want to know everything,” he said as he threw the wallet to one of his guards.
“You’ll have the information by the time you return to the Villa sir.”
“Thank you, Grayson. Now, I’m going back to wait for Spencer.” Aaron took a moment to track where Spencer was, it didn’t take much to find him haggling over the price of something. He knew his lover would win.
It wasn’t very long before Spencer approached with a few bags in his arms full of fresh produce.
“Who was that man Aaron?”
“Someone who had the gall to try to get me to let him have a night with you. Don’t worry, he’ll be dealt with.” Aaron looked at the bags in Spencer’s hands and just shook his head. He knew his lover was going to take over the kitchen and not let anyone near it till he was ready. “Ready?”
“Got everything I need.” Spencer wondered what Aaron was going to do to the man if he was just going to scare him, or worse. He would get the whole story out of his lover, then decide if he would just let Aaron handle it. Men who wanted him, tried to buy him were the most fun to play with, they begged so beautifully when they broke, especially in his secret room. Spencer almost pouted at the thoughts running through his head. The Castillo was not outfitted with a room that he could indulge in. He just may have to talk Aaron into building one for him in the near future.
Aaron had taken a couple of the bags in his hands to carry giving him the chance to tuck himself into Aaron’s side. This was normal, one of the things he had missed since coming back. Spencer knew they would get there, be that everything to each other again, it was just taking time. He had to be patient. This time away was going to do them all a world of good.
When they got back to the house, Spencer took the bags from Aaron and went into the kitchen. He told Aaron not to disturb him while he got things ready for a light lunch, then he would start on the dinner he had planned after the fish was delivered. He hummed to himself as he put the things he had bought away. Since they were in Spain, Spencer would make a decadent paella for lunch for all of them. He had learned the dish from Jose Andres himself. He had spent two weeks with the man learning to cook everything from simple tapas to the complex rice dish. It was time well worth the money he had paid for the one-on-one lessons. Plus, it got him and Aaron lifetime seats to any of Andres restaurants anywhere in the world.
Letting his thoughts go, he got down to cooking. This was one of the more creative sides of science and that was why Spencer loved doing it. It was a different kind of release than what he found in the playroom. This was both intellectually and creatively stimulating while being relaxing at the same time. As he moved around the kitchen, making the sofrito for the base of the paella, he thought that maybe he should do this more often. Take the time out to indulge more in something that he loved. Next, he grabbed the homemade seafood stock, and the fresh saffron he had found at the Farmer’s Market. It was very expensive, but more than worth it for the deep rich taste and color that it gave the paella. After getting the rice in the pan and cooking it with the sofrito till it was nice and browned, he added the stock. Letting that cook for a few moments, he grabbed some of the Spanish chorizo, shrimp that the cook had already stocked in the freezer previously, and the branzino fish filets. When the liquid had reduced by a third, Spencer dotted the rice with the fish and chorizo, then slipped the whole pan in the oven to finish the cooking letting the bottom get that nice crispy bottom paella was known for.
As he puttered getting the rest of lunch finished, Spencer’s thoughts wandered back to Jackson. He didn’t want to bring him up at lunch, he wanted to wait till dinner when Jack wasn’t going to be with them. This was a discussion that was more than overdue. There had been times over the years when he had seen the hurt in Aaron’s eyes as Jackson would leave to go home, but his stubbornness and selfishness over Spencer himself held them all back from something…Spencer was not quite sure what it would be, but he was willing to try, even if it was all to just make Aaron happy.
“Lunch was amazing. I can’t imagine how you are going to top that.” Aaron teased as he pulled Spencer down onto his lap. Spencer had asked Aaron to wear his favorite linen suit. It had been tailored to fit just right. The pants were still loose and flowing, but they gave Aaron a long, lean and relaxed look. The shirt was a snug fit, showing off a lean muscular upper body, and the jacket tied it all together. The suit was a dark cream, with the shirt Spencer’s favorite shade of purple.
“It’s a surprise. But, first tell me what happened at the market, and how much you found out about the man.”
“I found out quite a lot. Grayson called Penny who dug into the man’s life. He thought he could get me to let you have a night with him. He went so far as to offer money. Penny found out all kinds of interesting things about him. He’s an industrialist that tries to get away with paying his workers as little as legally possible. Several of the women and some of the more attractive men have lodged complaints about his advances. Even risking their jobs.”
“I don’t have to guess what you want to do about it.”
Aaron chuckled as his hands gripped Spencer’s hips holding him down on his lap while Spencer sipped at a chilled Spanish Pinot Grigio.
“Looking into his company. Jackson is quite interested in it. He’s looking to add to Grimes Industries and a company that produces circuit boards, micro miniature boxes, and several other computer and small electronic parts are right up their alley. If he has his way, he’ll have fun ruining one Rejinaldo de Las Palmas, and make Calidad Electronica de Madrid even better.”
“Another incentive for him to come and spend time with us then.”
“I don’t think Jax needs much encouragement for that.”
Spencer set his wine down then moved to fully straddle Aaron’s lap. He wrapped his arms behind Aaron’s head linking his hands together, keeping the man right where he wanted him.
“Sir,” Spencer bit his lip because he knew this was going to be a difficult conversation. He waited for Aaron before he continued.
“Yes, Pet?” Aaron gripped his waist, pulling him even closer.
“Why have you never let Jackson dominate me?” Spencer’s heart was pounding just a little. This was going to be a test of their whole relationship. Pushing previously set unspoken boundaries. When he felt Aaron’s intense gaze on him, he hoped that he had not pushed too far.
“In the beginning, my obsession was almost all-consuming. I don’t even have to tell you that. Your responsiveness, how beautifully you take the pain, I only ever wanted it for myself.”
Spencer tilted his head, narrowing his eyes he knew there was something more, something Aaron might have only admitted to himself recently. Spencer didn’t know how he knew, but he just knew.
“And now? Something changed didn’t it.”
The look on Aaron’s face and the deep breath he took told Spencer he was right. Something had changed, and he would bet anyone his whole bank account that it was Atlantic City.
“The poker tournament. Something changed with you.”
“Yes, Pet. I let Jackson play with Spencer. His responses, it was intoxicating. Made me realize a hard truth about myself. Jax and I always wanted someone to share. Someone we both could love and play with. I was so very blind by my possessiveness that I chose not to think of you as that person. I never thought to ask you if it was ever something that you would want. I made assumptions.”
Spencer pulled back so that he could lay a hand on Aaron’s heart.
“What if we try?” Spencer wanted to tread carefully, he knew what a minefield this was for Aaron.
“I know you care about Jax, but I’ve never let you express what you do feel for him. So, tell me now, Pet.”
Spencer watched Aaron carefully. He knew his Dom would never set him up for punishment, he also knew they had to work on getting trust back.
“I love him. Not like you do. I’m not in love with him, but I do love him. I…”
“Tell me everything Spencer.” Aaron was watching him closely and Spencer knew he was looking for the lie, but that was just it Spencer would never lie to him. Not his Aaron.
“I want to know, Sir. I want Jackson to play with me. I want you to watch us together. I want so many things.” Spencer leaned in to press his lips against Aaron’s, kissing him. When Aaron pulled him ever closer he moaned against Aaron’s mouth, fingers carded in his hair pulling just enough to coax an even louder moan from him. Spencer kept the kiss going, but he didn’t let it go further. There would be time later to play and sex. Right now he needed to go to the kitchen to finish up their dinner. “Right now, I need to go finish up.”
Pulling away, he smiled as he stood up to make his way back into the kitchen.
He worked about another hour putting the finishing touches on all the food. He had a plan, to seduce Aaron throughout the meal with the pairings of the food and wines he had picked out. Taking the first dish out, he set it on the table, then sat across Aaron’s lap.
“Going to feed me, Pet?”
“Of course. Some more of the Pinot we had earlier and these are Gulf shrimp marinated in olive oil infused with garlic, wrapped in Spanish bacon grilled on the stove top grill.” Spencer picked up the first piece and fed it to Aaron, who took a bite and moaned as the flavors of garlic and peppery olive oil burst on his tongue.
“If that’s the first course, I’m excited to see what else you have.” Spencer preened a little at the praise, he loved it when his Aaron praised him. He fed his lover one of the shrimp, then he would have one. Aaron touched him, caressing his back, and even slipping a hand down his waistband to cup his ass. He loved this, he missed this. He had never felt comfortable enough with the other Aaron for this level of intimacy. This, this was what they had needed. When the plate was done, He stood and went to get the next dish.
The evening was playful, the food varied. Spencer had made spicy pork empanadas with an avocado dipping sauce, a ceviche with grilled and marinated habaneros in heirloom lettuce cups, skewers of fresh anchovy, olive, and herbs. A Spanish tortilla, where the eggs were so fluffy they practically melted in the mouth. There was more, and each wine paired perfectly with each dish.
Spencer was so hard by the time they got to dessert he wasn’t sure he could last. Service was one of his biggest kinks, but he didn’t often get to indulge like now. He would maintain, though, he would always maintain for Aaron.
“That was amazing, Pet.” Aaron nuzzled his neck, sucking a mark as he cupped Spencer’s cock. “I think I want something else for dessert,” Aaron whispered in his ear. Spencer was all too willing to comply.
“What are you asking me, Aaron?” Jackson asked as he slid his hand over Aaron’s back. Spencer spent the night with Jack watching movies, and playing games so that he could give time to Aaron and Jackson to talk.
“With losing Spencer, and the night in Atlantic City, I realized that life really is too short. I’ve kept us apart, and I take that responsibility, Jax. I thought that if I shared Spencer that…” Aaron blew out a breath as he turned onto his back. “That I’d lose him.”
“Wow. So, what? You want us to try to be more? The three of us?”
“Yes. And Spencer, he wants it also.”
“This is quite the change, Aaron. I just want to make sure that you are truly going to be okay with this.”
“That’s why we wanted you here early. Give this a try in a safe, neutral environment. Since this is our place, and not the one in Atlantic City, we can be more relaxed.”
Jackson moved lay between Aaron’s open legs, pressing his cock against Aaron’s quickly hardening one. He looked down as he thrust up, and smiled at the look on Aaron’s face.
“God, you’re beautiful.” Jackson kissed Aaron as legs wrapped around his, keeping him where his lover wanted. “Tell me what you want Aaron.”
“Jax, I want a lot of things. But, specifically I want to make Spencer happy, I want you happy. Us to be together more, figure out what to do now that Foyet is no longer in my way. I want what I’ve always wanted. Power, can you imagine what we can do? The three of us together?” Aaron carded his fingers through Jackson’s hair as he kept him right where he wanted him. Kissing the man was so different from Spencer. It was always an intoxicating mix of give and take, dominance and submission, battling back and forth for control. Their sex was always hard and rough, with little finesse. Jackson had Aaron pinned down on the bed as thrust down hard against him. Aaron gasped as his cock swelled against Jackson’s.
Aaron tried to take back control, but Jackson just held his wrists even tighter pushing down with his body, keeping Aaron right where he wanted him.
“Hmm, don’t know what you’re thinking Aaron, but you are mine,” Jackson growled as his hips worked to bring them both the pure pleasure they always sought from each other. His goal was always to try to reduce the strong, controlling and enigmatic Aaron Hotchner down to a begging, needy mess. It worked some of the time, but they both enjoyed the game of it.
“Jax, please,” Aaron begged as his body shook with the need to let go. Jackson was keeping him on that edge as he moved his entire body over his lover, driving the man just a little crazy.
“I love when you beg. I don’t get that often. Maybe I should just keep you on the edge. Let you cum when I want you to.” Jackson bent and kissed Aaron while he thrust particularly hard against Aaron’s cock.
“Remember, there’s always payback,” Aaron’s back bowed getting caught up in the pleasure. Jackson chuckled as he mouthed at the warm, flushed skin beneath him.
“Then cum for me Aaron,” Jackson was almost breathless as he whispered in Aaron’s ear. “Right,” a hard thrust made Aaron cry out. “Now.” Stiffening, he pushed up against Jackson as his release spilled warm between them. Sitting up and straddling Aaron’s waist, Jackson took his own cock in his hands, chasing his own orgasm. He cried out as he came, painting Aaron’s stomach and chest with his release. His breath was coming in short pants as he sat looking down at Aaron with a crooked smile on his face.
“You look rather pleased with yourself,” Aaron slid his hands over Jackson’s thighs, hands gripping as he kept the man right there sitting on top of him.
“Sex with you is never boring. Now, let’s talk more about the three of us.”
Aaron, Jackson, and Spencer along with JJ and Jack spent most of the rest of the day on the private beach that butted up against the Villa. Jackson adored Jack, and it always made Aaron smile to see the two of the rough housing in the shallow waters. Jackson always being careful not to hurt the boy.
“You mean this Aaron?” Spencer and Aaron had been talking while Jax kept Jack occupied.
“I do. I’m willing to try this. No boundaries, but we talk things out if we run into any issues.”
“Is is just losing me that made you change your mind?”
“It’s a large part of it, Spencer. It was also, like I said, Atlantic City. Seeing Jax with him made me wonder why I kept you two apart. Why I put up boundaries. I took a good long look at myself, and when his feelings for me didn’t change, I understood that was part of the issue. Keeping you on a short leash, I didn’t allow for change.”
Spencer leaned back on his arms as his eyes traveled up and down Aaron’s body. Thoughts of what he wanted as he then looked towards Jackson.
“You know very well that we will work, Sir. You love each other and I’ve never been jealous of that. I know you, and I know him. The men that come into his life, he never gives his emotions to. Look how easily he is able to not think about Adam while he’s here. He’s always wanted you.”
“And you. So, we give it a go.”
Spencer crawled into Aaron’s lap and kissed him. “Only if you’re sure.”
“I’m very sure. And it isn’t just the personal aspects, but business as well.”
Spencer narrowed his eyes at Aaron, “You’re thinking of making a play for something, aren’t you?”
“I’m still mulling it over. I don’t want to talk about it quite yet. When I’m ready I’ll share it with the both of you.”
Spencer turned and laid back against Aaron watching his son and soon to be lover play in the surf. He wondered over what Aaron was planning but would be patient. He had his own issues to worry over at the moment. He had yet to approach Aaron about adopting, he wanted to make sure that he knew his own mind about it before he approached his lover with his wants. Looking at Jack, his heart swelled with the love he had for the boy, smiling he sighed as he wished there was another little boy there as well. Drawing the picture of Henry had helped him to say goodbye, as much as it was for JJ. She had cried a little when he had finished it and given it to her, but she loved it, and that was what mattered the most.
Soon he would be ready to talk to Aaron about Henry, and his own wants, but for now, he just wanted to enjoy his family. The reconnecting had been good for them all. Spencer’s nightmares about the other world, about feeling so lost for so long, were subsiding. He had let go and was more than ready to move on.
“I think tonight would be a good night to begin our new adventure, don’t you think Pet?” Spencer was pulled from his musings by the hand in his hair, and the arm around his waist holding him close.
“Sounds perfect to me.”
“Papa, did you see me?” Jack had been playing on a boogie board, the surf wasn’t very high, and Jackson kept his eye out as he stayed watching.
“I did, Jackers. You looked great out there.”
“Jackson showed me how to stay on. He said if we go to Hawaii in the summer like we talked about, he’ll show me how to surf. He says he has all kinds of ways for me to practice.”
“Does he now?” Aaron smiled at his son’s enthusiasm.
“Yeah. He said he’s surfed all over the world.”
“He has Jack. Maybe tonight before you go to bed, we’ll show you the pictures he sent us.” Spencer held out his arms and Jack ran to him and collapsed. A happy tired boy laid his head down on Spencer’s legs. Jackson sat next to Aaron. JJ collected some of Jack’s things as she trudged up towards them and flopped down herself. Spencer watched her a moment and saw that bit of longing in her eyes. He vowed to find someone for her. Someone that could love and accept her for who she was and not try to change her.
The family stayed out on the beach through lunch, picnicking out there, enjoying the mild warmth. By the time they trudged back in the house, everyone felt relaxed and a sense of peace settled over all of them. Dinner was a light affair, a movie later on and Jack was fast asleep. Aaron picked up the boy and took him to his room. JJ also said her goodnights and went off to bed.
Spencer felt the anticipation of what was to come, and he was more than ready.
Anticipation thrummed through him as Spencer stood in the middle of the smaller version of their playroom from home. He was naked, cuffs around his wrists and ankles. A new collar was around his neck, a surprise from Jackson, approved by Aaron. It was an intricately braided leather with two different colors. One was the ever present purple, the other an antique brown. The leather was buttery soft and supple against Spencer’s neck. The leather had been braided around sturdy steel with a ring in the front. The cuffs were in the same antique brown and felt good to Spencer.
He was currently sandwiched between the two Dom’s, which Spencer was quickly getting used to being his. Hands, mouths, teeth were quickly working him up. When Jackson sank to his knees and looked up at Aaron for permission, Spencer almost lost it. Arms wrapped around him and grabbed Jackson’s short hair as Spencer’s cock slid down his throat. Aaron held Jackson there for a moment, his breath coming in short pants in Spencer’s ear.
“Fuck,” Aaron breathed out as he thrust his own hard cock against Spencer’s ass. Spencer wanted to touch, but his hands were bound behind his back. He closed his eyes and let his head fall against Aaron’s shoulder. He let his mind go, the two men kept touching him, pushing him closer to the edge.
“Come, but don’t ejaculate,” Aaron said in his ear. Jackson wrapped his hands around Spencer’s waist and held him there as he took all of his cock in his mouth. When Aaron pulled on his nipple rings Spencer cried out as he came. He clamped down on his muscles, using the control he had been taught to keep himself from releasing. Jackson pulled off and stood up. He kissed Spencer, slipping his tongue along the seam of Spencer’s lips, encouraging him to open. Tongues explored, slipping in and out of each other’s mouths. This was a new experience for Spencer. He had never had sex with anyone but Aaron and the high from that alone was letting him get to that place he craved.
“What shall we do with the pretty genius now?” Jackson’s head pulled back just enough to look into glazed over eyes. “Does he want pain? Or, do we just play with him all night long?” Jackson noticed the slight tremors that went through Spencer. He was enjoying the teasing as he gripped the younger man’s waist in a tight hold.
“I want to watch you give him pain, Jax.”
“Come on pretty genius.” Jax took Spencer’s hand and pulled him away from Aaron. Spencer willingly went with him as they walked to the middle of the room. “Lift your arms.” Spencer complied as Jackson linked his wrist cuffs to the chain that was hanging down. Jackson then went to a wall where many implements were hanging up. First, he grabbed a spreader bar for Spencer’s legs and attached it to his ankles. Then he grabbed some lengths of chains and a high back chair and placed the chair where it was in direct line of sight of Spencer. Turning to Aaron, Jackson commanded him to sit in it. Using the chain he secured Aaron to the chair. Jackson straddled his lap and leaned into him so that any movement would stimulate his already hard cock.
“You are both so pretty, all bound for me. If you come, Aaron, I just may have to punish you. I don’t want you to come till I tell you to. Got it?” Leaning forward Jackson’s lips were right at Aaron’s ear, “Watch what I do to your boy, Aaron.”
“Yes,” Aaron’s breath was shallow as his heartbeat sped up in anticipation for what Jackson was going to do next.
Jackson slid off Aaron’s lap and almost groaned at the sight. He was wearing a cock cage himself because he knew he would need something to help stave off his own want to come before he was ready. Walking back to the wall he took down a heavy flogger.
Spencer bit his lip as he looked at Aaron, chained to the chair. His cock was so hard that it was almost painful. He wondered for a moment what was going through Aaron’s head, but the first strike of the flogger had him letting go. Jackson took his time, worked him over till he was shaking with the need for more. Usually, Aaron would go for a striking instrument, a thin riding crop, whip, something of that nature. Jackson chose to something Spencer had only seen online. He knew them as Vampire Gloves. Sturdy leather gloves with tiny brass spikes embedded in the gloves. Spencer was practically shaking wondering what Jackson was going to do with them.
“I’m going to just stimulate your nerves, Spencer. Then, we’ll move on. I want you highly sensitive for what I have next.” Spencer swallowed hard when Jackson light skimmed his gloved hands over his body. The small spikes were sharp, but not sharp enough to cut him, they did exactly what Jackson said they would. The stimulation was heady and new making Spencer get lost in the sensation really fast. “Now, I can press just enough that they can just pierce enough to bring blood to the surface, but no scars will form. But I don’t want that. I just want you to feel.”
Jackson paid attention to his back, chest, and thighs. The more he slid the gloves over his body, the more sensitive Spencer could feel himself getting. It was pushing towards painful. Spencer sucked in a breath as a hand just barely ghosted over his hard cock.
“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you there, just want to stimulate.” The feel of the gloves over his cock was almost more than he could bear, then when he was about to yell out, Jackson pulled his hand away and continued to concentrate on the rest of his body.
“Tell me how you are, Spencer.” Jackson took off a glove and lifted his chin. Spencer’s breath was shallow, but he felt good, as he was almost on the verge of slipping into subspace.
“Latin, good, you’re still with me.” Jackson took off a glove to test Spencer, and when he cried out with just a simple touch, Jackson took off the gloves and grabbed a different kind of flogger. This one was made of ribbons with different sizes, thicknesses, and sturdiness. The strands were not very long, and when he struck it made Spencer cry out as his back bowed from the pain.
Spencer was surprised at the sensation, but he was so overstimulated that anything used against him would have been painful. Jackson varied his strikes from light to hard, the flogger doing what it was designed to do, give him a different kind of stimulation because of the gloves. He started to beg, he wanted to come so bad that it hurt.
“Then cum, but don’t release.”
Aaron watched with shallow breath and pounding heart as Jackson worked Spencer over. He had never tried this type of play, just stimulating the nerves. It was intense to watch, and he almost started to sink into his own type of letting go. He had never gone into subspace himself, but he had been able to get to a kind of floating. When Spencer started screaming from what Jackson was doing Aaron wasn’t sure he was going to be able to hold on.
His eyes were so focused on Spencer that he didn’t see Jackson coming over to him. A hand fisted in his hair as he was kissed hard, a tongue thrust down his throat. Jackson pulled away after a moment and smiled.
“Stay with me, love. I promise it will all be worth it.”
Jackson moved away and went back to Spencer. This time he had some soft cashmere style gloves on and was standing behind Spencer. He caressed the flesh that was practically on fire from all the sensations.
“Please, Domine, please,” Spencer begged.
“What do you want, Little Dove,” Jackson slid his gloved hands over Spencer’s hard cock making him thrust hard at the sudden sensation.
“I, I need, please I want to be fucked, please,” Spencer begged as he writhed under Jackson’s hands.
Jackson pulled away and first he released Aaron. Getting between his lover’s legs he sank to his knees and took Aaron’s cock in his mouth. Aaron moaned as he gripped the back of Jackson’s neck and held him there for a moment while he thrust up. Jackson pulled off, with a wicked look on his face. He grabbed the lube he had set aside and slicked up Aaron’s cock.
“Don’t touch.” Standing he went over to Spencer, but before releasing him, he slid a slick finger inside the younger man’s hole spreading the lube around. He quickly cleaned his hands with the cleaning cloths that were kept on a shelf by the toys. Then carefully he released Spencer from the bar and the chain. Holding the man up he walked over to Aaron.
“Sit on Aaron’s cock, but facing me.” Spencer was more than happy to oblige. It only took a moment for Spencer to slide down the hard cock.
“Fuck,” Aaron ground out through his teeth as Spencer seated himself fully.
“Hold his arms behind his back Aaron.” Spencer let his arms be manipulated as Aaron crossed his arms behind his back and pulled him against his chest. Strong arms wrapped around him as Jackson once again knelt between the legs of now both of the men. “Fuck that’s hot.” Jackson took Spencer’s cock in his mouth and started to bob, while Aaron made shallow thrusts inside him.
All the stimulation was almost too much and Spencer was near yelling his safeword for the first time in a very long time.
“Cum, Spencer, and don’t hold back,” Aaron’s command was a welcome relief as Spencer cried out when Jackson took his cock all the way into his mouth. Aaron had a grip on his hips and was thrusting inside him as Jackson stood.
“Cum for me Aaron,” Jackson whispered in Aaron’s ear. He thrust up once, twice and as he gripped Spencer’s thighs he bowed slightly as his eyes shut and he came inside his lover. “You’re both so very good to me tonight.” Jackson kissed both men before he helped Spencer up and laid him on the bed in the room. He walked back to Aaron and held out his hand for him. Taking it, Aaron let himself be led to the bed. “Hands and knees, I’m not done with you yet.”
Aaron complied. It didn’t take long for Jackson to slide his now slick cock inside Aaron. The cage had been taken off and flung to the side. He knew he wasn’t going to last very long as he dug his fingers into Aaron’s hips and fucked him hard and fast. When he came he collapsed on the bed, pulling Aaron into his arms.
Spencer cuddled up to Aaron, the three men entwined together fell into a light doze. About an hour later, Jackson was waking up his lovers to administer aftercare. He knew there needed to be more conversations between them, but for now, he knew they were going to take this time to see if they really did work together.
Aaron watched as Jackson slid into the large tub with Spencer, caring for him. He thought that he should be jealous, but he wasn’t. He enjoyed watching his lovers together much more than he thought he would have. He also knew they needed to talk through all of this. Their dynamic with each other was going to change, but he knew it was going to change for the better.
Spencer woke gently, to the feel of a hand tracing the tattoo on his back. Aaron was nestled in at his side, a beacon of warmth in the cool room. The blankets were pulled down to where the older man could see the tattoo. Spencer wondered exactly how long the man had been awake. Aaron had still been up when Spencer had got back from the club, it had settled him to know there was a place he could go to just relax. After the man had been thrown out, no one bothered him. Carlie had walked him out when he was ready to leave and described the pay system for members like himself. She even rode in his cab with him back to his apartment building, discussing the legalities of the hotel above and Spencer found out that he enjoyed talking to her.
Aaron obviously didn’t realize Spencer was awake so Spencer stayed still and relaxed under the man’s hands. Quiet moments like this were hard to come by in the other world. Spencer was enjoying just lounging. It was Sunday and a lazy morning in bed sounded good. Jessica was coming over around eight to pick up Jack and take him for the morning and a little bit of the afternoon so that he wasn’t around for what Spencer was sure to be a big fight. He was going to be honest about everything. Everything.
Spencer felt upset that Morgan was the only one on the team to notice. In the other world, everyone who mattered had made the jump on their own. Morgan and a six-year-old. Spencer cleared his head, it wouldn’t do to be upset at the moment. He shifted on the bed just slightly and Aaron’s hand stilled as it was tracing one of the last lines of the last book. Spencer turned his head and looked at Aaron.
“Morning,” Spencer said, his voice very rough with sleep. He smiled at Aaron before rolling over to look at the man fully. The cuffs were still on his wrists but not hooked to the bed, Aaron must have undone them after he had woke up. “How did you sleep?”
“Not well. I kept waking up and checking that you were here. Afraid you were a dream.” Aaron leaned over him, staring into his eyes before he leaned down and kissed him. Spencer kissed him back, his own emotions all over the place. He hadn’t once thought it was a dream. He’d slept perfectly, knowing he was home where he belonged. He’d just have to prove to Aaron that it was him, that he was here.
Reaching up, Spencer clasped the back of Aaron’s head and held him there, kissing him harder and undulating up into his body. Spencer had kept boxers because it’s what Aaron had kept on. After getting used to an Aaron that just snuggled up to him and wrapped an arm around him instead of holding him down with a leg as well, Spencer had slept fine.
“Is this okay?” Aaron asked as he fully straddled Spencer’s body and pressed him down into the bed. Spencer nodded as he leaned up to kiss Aaron again. Silent, he’d have to remember to be silent. Aaron wanted this and Spencer wanted it to ease that guilt inside of him. Spencer let Aaron lose himself in his body. He rocked up into Aaron’s body every time the man pressed him down. It was nice. He allowed himself to get lost in the sounds that Aaron was making as he took his pleasure. It was heady and Spencer found himself on edge before he knew it.
Spencer moaned when Aaron moved to kiss him again, he moaned.
“You look good like this,” Aaron whispered again his lips before kissing him again. Aaron held him down, gripping his wrists and pressing them into the bed, tightening his legs, keeping Spencer where he wanted him. Spencer couldn’t move, he couldn’t escape. He didn’t know what to feel.
“Aaron, please,” Spencer begged. He tried to push up into Aaron’s body again but he couldn’t. He was totally at Aaron’s mercy but he didn’t give in. He kept trying. He pushed again and Aaron just tightened his legs more.
“Do you want to come, Spencer?” Aaron asked.
“Yes.” Spencer moaned as Aaron tightened his hold on Spencer’s wrists and stopped even Spencer’s head from moving by pushing it into the pillow with the pressure of his kiss. Spencer was barely holding on. Aaron’s body stiffened and he groaned into the kiss.
“Come,” Aaron demanded when he pulled back to gasp for a breath. Spencer came on command and instead of the feeling of satisfaction and satiation that he normally had, he felt off. Spencer wasn’t sure what he was feeling but he kissed Aaron when the man kissed him. Aaron’s body became soft as it settled on top of Spencer, just when Spencer was about to tell him that he was having trouble breathing, Aaron slipped off of him to the side. Aaron tucked Spencer’s head under his own and wrapped himself around him.
“I want to shower before Jack wakes up,” Spencer said after Aaron said nothing for a few minutes. He was about to ask Aaron to join him but Aaron spoke first.
“You go ahead and shower. I’ll do a little picking up in here.”
“Okay,” Spencer frowned as he slipped out of Aaron’s hold and off the bed. He padded to the bathroom where he slipped off his underwear and wiped himself clean before tossing them in the hamper. He stepped into the shower and turned the water on full blast, not caring about the cold water. His mind was stuck on the fact that Aaron hadn’t joined him. Hadn’t wanted to even take care of him. As the water washed away the rest of the evidence of their coupling, Spencer buried all of his emotions about it. When he was done with the shower and dressed in an outfit of his from Aaron’s closet, Spencer had his persona wrapped around him. The new him. The one that no one in the team would like too well.
Aaron had slipped into the shower as soon as Spencer had left the bathroom. Spencer checked on Jack and found the boy just waking up in bed. Jack rubbed his face into his pillow as his eyes opened. Spencer sat down on the bed and the boy opened his eyes to look at Spencer.
“Papa?” Jack asked.
“Good morning, Jackers.”
“Good morning, Papa,” Jack said as he closed his eyes again. His little arms tightened around the stuffed Vulpix in his arms and he smiled. “Can we cuddle?”
“Where do you want to cuddle?” Spencer asked but he shifted to where he could pick up Jack and carefully wrapped the blanket around the boy and stood up. Jack tucked his head under Spencer’s chin.
“Okay, Jackers.” Spencer stood up from the bed and made his way into the living room with ease. There was only a minor twinge in his knee but he ignored it. He wasn’t overdoing it and he was going to make sure that he didn’t. He learned his lesson the first time around and he had learned in the other world that showing weakness wasn’t a weakness, it showed his trust in those around him to help him when he needed it.
Spencer settled down in the chair and nestled Jack into his body. The boy smiled up at him. He pulled the Vulpix tighter into his body and laid his legs over the arm of the chair.
“Read to me?” Jack asked.
“Sure. What story do you want?” Spencer looked at the bookshelf and saw that it was full of kids books, new and classics from every era over the past sixty years.
“We were going to work on…” Jack scrunched his face up as he thought. Spencer could see that he was deep in thought and it was so adorable. “It was something about rats and a lady.”
“Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of N.I.M.H.,”Spencer said and Jack nodded up and down fast. Spencer had read that book when he was a kid for a school project. He had read a lot farther into the story than his teachers had thought that he would. They had all been shocked but his mom hadn’t. Still, the book wasn’t too old for Jack. He knew the book well and started to recite it in a low tone to Jack.
Aaron came in a short while later and Spencer looked up at him and smiled. The look on Aaron’s face, the near hunger was so close to what the other Aaron had used to look at him when he was bonding with the other Jack that Spencer felt hope. He had hope that they would figure this out and get into something that was damned good for both of them.
The knock on the door came and it startled Aaron as he was watching Spencer and Jack. Spencer wiggled Jack out of his lap and the boy giggled and ran after his father, dropping the blanket on the floor and the Vulpix as well.
“Aunt Jessica!” Jack cried out when Aaron opened the door. The boy rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Jessica’s knees before pulling back and grabbing her hand to pull her into the apartment. “He came back!”
Jessica looked up at Spencer and smiled at him. He could see a happiness in Jessica eyes and relief. A lot of relief.
“Jessica?” Spencer asked.
“Welcome back, Spencer.” Jessica allowed Jack to take him all the way up to Spencer. She leaned down and kissed Spencer’s cheek. “He didn’t look at me like you do, he almost hated me. I noticed it right after that explosion and while I might not be techy at all, I wasn’t going to do a damned thing to make him upset. Sometimes when he didn’t think that anyone was looking, he looked so cold and so scary. I kept my mouth shut because he was so good with Jack and I knew that you knew. You had to know.”
“I didn’t. Not until later,” Aaron admitted.
“Oh.” Jessica looked shocked but she sat down on the arm of his chair and he leaned over a little bit, resting his head on her side. This was normal and he’d missed Jessica a great deal. Jack crawled back into Spencer’s lap. “I’m happy to have you back either way.”
“The team is coming over later and we are laying it all out on the line,” Aaron said.
“They didn’t notice either?” Jessica looked at Aaron shocked.
“No,” Spencer said shaking his head.
“He was damned good at manipulation and I have a habit of pushing people away, he probably played up on all of that. Don’t feel bad, he probably saw you as a nonentity. Didn’t care much or think much about you at all, much to his probable dismay at finding out that you realized.”
“So what are you thinking with the team? How are they going to take it?”
“That’s what we asked you here for. To take Jack for the rest of the morning and the early afternoon. After the team discussion, if JJ still talks to me, she’ll have Will pick her up and drop off Henry so that he and I can spend the afternoon together. I was thinking Jack might want to hang out as well. Just the three of us for dinner.” Spencer sighed as Jessica ruffled his hair, her hand didn’t pull up though and Spencer enjoyed the feel of a hand in his hair. Aaron wasn’t paying them any attention as he moved towards the kitchen to start breakfast.
“So…” Jessica seemed a little lost but before she could say anything else, Jack grabbed his blanket and his stuffed Vulpix, making for his bedroom. “The other Spencer never wore this around me.”
Jessica’s hand moved to her own neck briefly and Spencer nodded.
“I think he wore it a lot but hide it. Aaron is a little bit…upset at the loss of his so suddenly so I’ve not brought him up unless I have to.”
“Well, as you can tell the other Spencer pushed forward with forcing Aaron to allow him around Jack. I think that there was a fight because Aaron was surly for a few days and then all of a sudden it was different. He was different. I’ve snooped of course and I am sure that Aaron knows that but he didn’t realize that I knew it was a different Spencer. I was looking for things that would throw a red flag about his want to be around Jack but after I really watched him after that it was all fatherly. A fatherly way that I never saw you doing before. I see you now though and it’s good.”
“Jack, the other Jack forced me to learn. He was ten. He showed me that it wasn’t so much about doing everything right and perfect but about doing what felt right. I needed that.”
“So I only heard a few whispers and a few things from Aaron but the other Spencer called out the team on how they thought about you and kids. Something about JJ wanting you to watch Henry and Garcia and Morgan weren’t…” Jessica trailed off.
“They weren’t the most supportive and were downright mean?” Spencer asked.
“I did a lot of introspection in my time in the other world and I think that none of them are going to be ready for the man that I have become.”
Jessica smiled and kissed his cheek. She rubbed briefly at it and Spencer smiled at her.
“I have missed you these last six months, Spencer. Maybe next weekend we can get out for a lunch.”
“I’d love that.”
Jack came back into the room, dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Spencer smiled at him, he’d dressed in clothes that matched about as well as Spencer’s own socks. He looked adorable and the look on Jessica’s face said that she thought the same. Spencer wondered what Aaron’s reaction to it would be. Jack took Jessica over to where Jack’s toys were and showed her some of his new ones, so Spencer stood up to help Aaron cook breakfast and to get a cup of coffee.
Breakfast was easy in a way that shocked Spencer. He hadn’t expected for it to be that with how hard everything else was. Jessica talked about how her job was changing and she was still available to watch Jack some of the time.
“It’s good that the offices are done then. Spencer’s office renovation is mostly done, the secure line to Grimes Tech servers for the database need to be finalized but there is no more construction. Jack’s little corner in Spencer’s office is done as well, in both offices. So if needed, Jack can come to work now.”
“YAY!” Jack did a little wiggle dance in his chair but was careful to not upset his food. He looked really happy and Spencer saw right there and then why Aaron had actually taken the job as Section Chief. Jack and Spencer. The loss of him so close to being something had rocked Aaron’s world, even if he only found out after, and it had made him reevaluate everything. He wasn’t so much sacrificing what made him happy but choosing to be happy with something that was life changing.
A chime from Spencer’s phone had him standing up and moving out of the kitchen. It wasn’t a sound that he had heard his new phone make at all and he found a text from Jackson. Spencer blushed as the picture of the man that popped up beside his name made Spencer think of that night in Atlantic City. His body remembered how he had felt that night and his nerves felt like they were on fire.
Do you have time for a fifteen-minute consult with NYC director of the server farm and the first data imputer?
Yes. Give me five minutes.
Spencer moved back into the kitchen. Jessica was laughing as Jack talked about something that had happened at school.
“I need to do a quick consult with New York server farm manager.”
“Oh, Jackson finally found one?” Aaron asked. The look on his face said that he had said that for Spencer more than anything else.
“Well, your standards were high and Jackson is having trouble wooing some of the people away.” Aaron smiled as he talked and Spencer smiled back at him. Spencer was glad that he’d made sure to get all caught up on everything he had with him at home. He’d have to see about going into the office to do some work, maybe after Henry went home and he took Jack back to Aaron. Sunday night would be dead and he’d not be looked at weird for acting like he knew he would be. He’d be back at work the next morning and needed to have his way around known to himself.
Spencer left the apartment and went to his. He found the laptop and as soon as it was up, Jackson’s face came up and a little picture of himself was there as well. Spencer sat down on the couch so he could be comfortable.
“You are entirely too dressed for a lazy Sunday.”
“I have a meeting with the team in a little bit so I dressed to impress.”
Jackson looked at Spencer, reading his face it seemed. This Spencer was going into blind. He had no frame of reference. Spencer reached up to touch the collar, a grounding tactic he’d picked up after the other Aaron had punished him. His eyes widened at the look on Jackson’s face.
“I wondered back in Atlantic City. So Hotch is your boss and your Dom.” Jackson wrote something down on a piece of paper. “So when vacations happen, husband and child with. Where do you fall on the scale?”
“Masochist but Aaron isn’t…” Spencer closed his mouth. He wasn’t sure what to call Aaron because Sadist wasn’t it. The other had very much been a Sadist but his Aaron.
“I just need to update your medical a little. You were willing to change doctors from the FBI main one to one of mine. I know a doctor in the area that lives the lifestyle as well. She is lovely and sweet to her patients and her Sub is her business partner. He is a gynecologist. Which you won’t need. Are you okay with going with her?”
“Yes.” Spencer practically blurted it. Jackson looked at him and frowned.
“I’ll deal with New York, Spencer. I want to talk to you, in person. Can we meet tonight? I can be in DC at seven.” Jackson was on his phone typing away as he spoke.
“Nothing is wrong. I just want to discuss a few things in person. A mutual friend reached out to me worried.”
“Tonight doesn’t work.”
“Wednesday. I’m in DC anyway. We can do lunch and do some work in the afternoon. I have already cleared getting in and out of Quantico with the DOJ. I can meet you at your office.”
“I have an errand Wednesday at lunch but if you don’t mind going with me to Georgetown.”
“I don’t mind at all. Okay. I am scheduled to land at ten. I’ll go right to Quantico and you can show me this office I’ve been hearing so much about. I can meet the rest of your team and then we can work the afternoon. Your secretary has already marked you down as in office all week. Yearly review time and some kind of check on Morgan being the UC is what she has. Have I said how much I adore your secretary? I don’t know where Hotch found her but she’s a peach. I can’t wait to meet her in person.”
“Jackson, are you sure everything is fine?”
“Yes. I just realized that you need to relax and you have the team coming and I can handle New York. Clinton is being a bear and I don’t want to spoil your Sunday.” Jackson wasn’t being wholly truthful but Spencer was going to let it slide for now. He wanted to get back to Jack and Jessica so that they wouldn’t leave before he got back.
“Okay. I plan to be in the office early. Going in with Aaron. So if you need me after six, call me there.”
“Will do. Have a good day, Spencer.” Jackson’s face disappeared from the screen and Spencer leaned back to lay his head on the back of the couch.
A small knock sounded on his door and before he could call out it was opening. Soft feet sounded across the carpet and then Jack was peeking around at him from behind the couch.
“All done, Papa?”
“Yes, I am. You and Aunt Jess leaving?”
“We are. She found a movie at that old theater that’s playing. Then we are going to go to lunch and she said we are going to eat food that is horrible for us.”
Spencer laughed and Jack smiled at him. Spencer though saw a little bit of unhappiness in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“No one is going to be here to protect you and Dad.”
“Jack, no one on the team is going it hurt us. I just don’t want you to hear any fighting. There is going to be a lot of strong emotions and you don’t need that. It’s our right to protect you from things like that.”
Jack scrambled up onto the couch and tucked himself into Spencer’s side. Spencer wrapped his arm around the boy’s shoulder and gave him a half hug.
“Go with your aunt and have fun. By the time you come back, Henry will be here for you to play with.”
“Okay.” Jack hugged Spencer from the side quickly then scampered off the couch and ran around it to leave. Spencer turned his head to see Jessica standing at the door. She smiled and waved before shutting the door. Spencer knew he needed to get up and go over to Aaron’s. He looked around his apartment and felt nothing for it. It wasn’t even that it wasn’t his old apartment but that he really just didn’t feel anything for it as a place to hang his hat, as it were, or as a place to sleep. He moved to the bedroom and took in the sheets on the bed. One of the older, worn sets. He went to the closet and found that none of his nicer ones were in there. All of his older ones were there. He didn’t think that the other Spencer would have thrown away the nicer, newer ones and kept the older ones so he figured that the sheets were at Aaron’s.
A check of the cabinets had a few shelf stable items and a few snack foods that when sealed stayed good a while but there was no evidence other than the office that Spencer lived there. Spencer didn’t know how he felt about that. Before going to the other world, he hadn’t lived with someone since he’d moved out of the home when he had gone to Cal-Tech. He had gone back for visits and weekends but his dorm room was his. He’d been granted the room from the moment he’d moved there and the Dean hadn’t forced him to leave considering that he went to school year round. When he’d turned eighteen, he’d got an apartment just off campus.
As Spencer looked around he realized that he didn’t want to sleep alone. He didn’t want to feel the silence creep in on him anymore. He wanted the chaos of a six-year-old boy who was too alive for his own good. He wanted the noise of Aaron’s puttering around because there were days he just couldn’t sit down when they weren’t working. Spencer grabbed the laptop and found a bag for it. He packed up the charging cable and the purple mouse. He found a portable scanner in the bag and a handwritten note that when on cases, the other Spencer took the laptop and the tablet. He left the laptop in the hotel room and carried the tablet with him everywhere. For working on during food breaks, or just to give his mind something else to focus on if the case was hard. Spencer liked that idea.
A knock on his apartment door startled him. He finished closing up the bag and shouldered it before crossing to the door. There was JJ and Will. Spencer was a little shocked at Will being there. Spencer stepped back to allow them to enter. JJ was looking at him a little weird but she wasn’t saying anything.
“Where’s Henry?” Spencer asked as he shut the door, he didn’t want the neighbors to hear anything.
“Will was dropping me off and we saw Jessica. She all but absconded with Henry, stating that Will might want to be here for what is coming. She seems to know a lot of what we are here for. Morgan wasn’t shocked when I called him.”
“Morgan was here yesterday, which prompted this meeting. I don’t want to do this more than once.” Spencer reopened the door and ushered them out. He didn’t knock on Aaron’s door but came right in. JJ and Will were early but he wouldn’t be shocked if the others were as well. Aaron didn’t invite people over, ever.
“Spencer, I figured-” Aaron stopped when he saw Spencer wasn’t alone. “JJ, Will, welcome. I was just about to head to the store, Will, want to go help me grab enough for food everyone?”
“Sure.” Will kissed the side of JJ’s cheek and moved back towards the door. Aaron stopped in front of Spencer and cupped the side of his face before kissing him on the lips. Spencer was shocked at the outward display of affection. Aaron was demonstrative with Jack, that was a given but Spencer had never thought he’d be that way with him. As Aaron pulled back, Spencer pressed back in, making Aaron smile but he allowed the kiss.
“Be back soon with food for the masses,” Aaron said as he stepped away from Spencer. The man’s eyes flicked down to the collar and Spencer reached up and kind of freaked out. JJ’s eyes were on the collar as Aaron and Will left. Spencer had wanted to button up his shirt all the way so it wouldn’t be the first thing seen.
“You don’t want to talk until everyone is here but Spence, Will saw you three weeks ago.”
“Okay?” Spencer had no exact frame for what happened three weeks ago.
“Will was on a stakeout for a drug dealer and saw you come out of La Mort. He didn’t recognize Hotch at first until he was done slipping you into the cab. He said you looked drugged. I almost went to you when he got home but he told me what the club was. I just want to know you are safe.”
“Why didn’t you ask before this?”
“Because Will told me to calm down and do research. So I did and this is me calm and sisterly.”
“I’m safe, JJ.”
“Is that why Hotch goes with you?”
“I-” Spencer stopped and closed his mouth. He hadn’t asked Aaron if he wanted the whole team to know that aspect. “JJ, think about it. Why I go there.”
“Yes.” JJ looked bewildered.
Spencer sighed. She was that small town, narrow viewed woman that she had been at the start.
“Who goes to a club like that?”
“Dominants and Submissives.”
“So Aaron is a?”
JJ gasped and looked shocked. A knock at the door had Spencer leaving her there and going towards it. Alex was on the other side and Spencer, happy to see her, his Alex, he hugged her. Just getting off the elevator behind her was Rossi and Morgan. Spencer smiled at them. Rossi smiled back but Morgan didn’t. Spencer felt a kernel of fear in his stomach. Alex brushed past him when she pulled out of the hug and allowed him to greet Morgan and Rossi. He wanted Alex there for himself. The other Spencer had said that she knew of the basics of the relationship.
“Hotch ran to the store for food,” JJ said as she took a seat on the couch. Alex took a seat beside her and Morgan the other. Rossi raised an eyebrow at the fact that Morgan didn’t greet Spencer. When Rossi got a good look at Spencer, though, his eyes widened.
“And alcohol right?” Rossi asked, taking a seat in one of the two armchairs. Spencer sat on the arm of the other. That left the love seat for Prentiss and Garcia.
“There is a little bit of bourbon and brandy but it’s the morning still and I don’t think that any sort of mood changers are needed, even if it is to calm down.”
“You sound all doom and gloom, Spencer,” Alex said.
“There is a lot to talk about and I want to wait for everyone to be here before we do.” Spencer stood up and moved to the kitchen to grab a chair. He set it down in the space between the couch and the chair that Spencer and Aaron were going to be sitting in. He hoped Will picked it and not Prentiss.
The silence in the room was deafening and Rossi and Alex were getting more uncomfortable as the minutes ticked by. Morgan stared at his hands and JJ was unashamedly looking around, obviously seeing Spencer everywhere.
“Where’s Jack?” Rossi asked.
“With Jessica and Henry,” Spencer answered.
“So planning for screaming?”
The sound of the door opening had Spencer standing up. Will was in front with Aaron behind. They both had two bags of groceries. Behind them were Prentiss and Garcia.
“Let me and Will put everything up then we can talk,” Aaron called out to the room. Garcia and Prentiss moved past Spencer and thankfully took a seat on the couch. Spencer sought refuge in the kitchen. He was feeling unsure about everyone knowing the particulars of the relationship. He wanted them to know but it was all so much so quick. Aaron set down his two bags and grabbed Spencer, pulling him close. Spencer tucked his face into Aaron’s neck and breathed deeply. Spencer wanted to ask for the leash. He knew there had to be one for the collar but he didn’t want to at the same time. It felt wrong, asking. He didn’t know how to and he didn’t want to upset Aaron, not with the team there. So Spencer took a few deep breaths and then exhaled before stepping back. Will was carrying an armful of water bottles.
“I’ll go back out,” Spencer muttered as Aaron moved to put up the meats and cheeses in the fridge. Will had taken the chair, Spencer found when he entered the living room. The silence was still there and Spencer wasn’t sure if it was him and the collar or the situation. He settled on the arm of the chair and waited.
“Hen’s looking forward to spending the afternoon with you,” Will said. Spencer just smiled at him. “What do you have planned?”
“I don’t know. Depends on what he and Jack want to do.”
“There is this new place a block from us. Henry had been dying to go. Sure he’d love to go with you and Jack.” Will smiled at Spencer and he smiled back even bigger.”
“That sounds fun. What kind of place?”
“Games and a ball pit.”
“That’s where I’ll take them then. Dinner and then I’ll drop Henry off at home.” Spencer smiled at Will, even brighter than before. He wasn’t sure if JJ and Will would actually let him take Henry after what they were going to find out but at least he would take Jack. The boy would love it and Spencer would like the one on one time, with or without Henry.
Aaron entered the living room and sat down in the chair that Spencer was sitting on the arm of. Spencer wasn’t sure if he needed to start talking or if Aaron was or if even Morgan was going start everything. Spencer opened his mouth to start talking when he felt Aaron’s hand on his outer hip. It settled there. Spencer watched as every eye in the room settled on that, except for Will who was seemingly waiting for something to happen.
Prentiss looked the most freaked out. Her eyes kept going from Aaron’s hand to Spencer’s throat and back, over and over.
“And exactly how long on this?” Rossi asked.
“That’s a little hard to explain,” Aaron said. His hand tightened on Spencer’s hip, just enough that it helped Spencer settled down. “Do you want to start?”
“Six months ago, I was in the explosion at Georgetown and when I woke up I was in a bed, cuffed at my hands and a collar around my neck.”
“Reid, you woke up in a Georgetown hospital and we were all there,” Garcia pointed out. She looked freaked out.
“No, a different Spencer woke up in the hospital in Georgetown. I woke up in his bed, in his world, with his Dom.”
“The science behind it all is really above your heads. But to sum it up that explosion basically rip a hole in our universe and briefly, he and I were connected. When it closed, we were in the wrong universes. He woke up in a hospital bed in Georgetown, freaked out and I woke up in his bed in DC, severely freaked out.”
Garcia looked at Aaron for a few seconds before she looked back at Spencer. The room was silent.
“He’s telling the truth,” Morgan said. Eyes moved to him and Morgan just shrugged. “I was here yesterday. This Reid and the Reid I talked to Friday are very different.”
“How are you so sure and so believing?” Rossi asked.
“Easy, I confronted Reid Friday night about how weird he’s been acting and I wanted to talk to him about talking Hotch into coming back. I was menacing and he put me on my ass in very few moves and when I didn’t relent, that Reid popped my shoulder out of place.”
Everyone in the room was uncomfortable, except Will. They were shifting in their seats, not looking at Spencer. Garcia looked near tears.
“He told me to come by at nine yesterday to talk. I came early and our Reid was upset that I did. I could tell that something was wrong when I showed up. Reid was upset but he wasn’t scary like the one from the night before. They were honest after a while and I didn’t believe at first but then-” Morgan looked at Spencer. “Those scars from Cindi’s case are gone. Every single one of them. We all saw them and they are gone.”
“Some time in the night between Friday and Saturday, Spencer swapped back,” Aaron said as his grip on Spencer’s hip changed from hard to soft and it pulled on him. Aaron didn’t stop pulling until Spencer was in his lap, with his legs draped over where he’d just been sitting. The position felt wonderful on Spencer’s knee, which had been aching. Aaron’s hand went to it and started to rub gently. “But we are getting ahead of ourselves. In the months leading up to the swap, Spencer and I had been dancing around a relationship.”
“Aaron asked me on a date before I left work that day and I went to Georgetown. The explosion happened and he never knew the man he took home wasn’t me.”
“How did we not know?” Prentiss asked.
“I’m sure that any red flags thrown in the first few days, everyone chocked up to the explosion and aftereffects and recovering. After that, willful ignorance.” Spencer wasn’t going to pull punches. The looks of indignation on the team’s face showed that they didn’t like it but before they could say anything else, Spencer went on. “He lived here for six months and only Morgan caught on. It took Aaron over three months. My sponsor figured it out the first time he actually met with the other Spencer. Take guess how long it took my mother?”
“I-I-I-” JJ stuttered. She snapped her mouth shut, pouting a little.
“The first time she saw him on TV following the switch. I didn’t know that Bennington kind of kept tabs on me and recorded things like that for her. But she knew from a thirty second, nonverbal TV spot.”
No one said anything. Aaron’s hand moved up to his neck and squeezed. Spencer closed his mouth.
“Needless to say, things aren’t good.” Aaron leaned in close. “Quit being hostile,” he whispered in Spencer’s ear.
Spencer turned to look at him, glaring. “No. I won’t. Did I stop being hostile with you yesterday?” Spencer asked.
“No,” Aaron admitted. His hand didn’t leave Spencer’s neck but he kept his mouth shut.
“Alex, you’ve not been here for any of it but given that things are going to be a little awkward for awhile, I figured that it was better to have you here.”
“I agree as coming into work and finding you upset at everyone and them likewise with you, I wouldn’t like it. Although I think that you have a steadfast supporter there beside you.”
Spencer looked at Aaron and back at her with a frown on her face but she wasn’t looking at him or Aaron, she was looking at Will.
“I’m just sitting here listening,” Will said when he realized that Alex was looking at him.
“But you want to speak,” Alex pointed out.
“Oh, I’ll say my bit when it’s all said and done.” Will smiled at her before he relaxed back in his chair.
“Aaron has, of course, told me about Gideon, Strauss, and my father. Two of those deaths didn’t shock me at all.” Spencer turned slightly so that his bad leg was still propped but he was looking more at the room, his other leg braced on the floor, not on the arm of the chair. “He told me his reasons for everything that he did in the six months that I was gone, including him taking the position as Section Chief and the other Spencer pressured him into not revealing it all, for Spencer’s own reasons more than anything else. Before we can go into anything about the decision to keep you all in the dark, you need to understand him and the life he lived before coming here.”
“You said you were in bed with his Dom,” Rossi said. His knowing eyes were on Aaron’s hand on the back of Spencer’s neck. “That couldn’t have gone over well at all.”
“No. The man knew instantly that I wasn’t his Pet. His nickname for Spencer that Spencer picked out. The world that Spencer lived in was nothing like this one. Our lives split when his mother watched the death of the man who killed Riley Jenkins. Her schizophrenia turned violent with that violence and when William left when he was ten, Spencer was the only receptacle of her paranoia and violence. One day, Diana took Spencer with her when she went to William’s office. I wasn’t paying too close to the reason that she had gone there as I was horrified by so much else but while she was there, she sealed her death. Spencer caught the eye of a man who could tell everything that was wrong in just a few minutes in the room with Diana and Spencer. He forced William to tell him where his ex-wife and son were living. That night, Diana went deep into a delusion and attacked Spencer with a knife. The man broke down the door and used that same knife to slice her throat. Days later when that man left Vegas, he took Spencer with him as a ward.”
“You keep on calling him the man, never more than that,” Garcia said.
“Because that man is someone that we know,” Rossi said as he looked at Spencer, trying to figure him out. “You used to be easy to read and then it changed. Now I can’t even read you at all. Who was that man, Reid?”
“His life was a lot different but I can’t figure out the exact point of separation but you basically called him a son in that world before you left the BAU. To reign in his psychopathy and try and make him a better man after his father had set his life on the track it was on, you turned his eye to BDSM. I never asked what you thought of his relationship with Spencer but once he had his eyes on Spencer, there was no hope for anything but a life with him. While he was adamant that nothing was actually sexual until Spencer turned eighteen, he shaped Spencer’s lovemap from the second he had him in his control. Spencer had no hope of ever not being what he was shaped to be.
“Spencer’s Dom had a good success with another young man but he was Dominant and Spe-”
“Just say it,” Morgan said.
Spencer turned to look at the dark-skinned agent.
“I didn’t tell you any of this yesterday, Morgan. Water was a good choice for everyone because it’s not going to hurt coming back up. The first morning that I was there, I saw the protege Dom myself. I watched him as he came in with a young man who wasn’t of legal age. Due to the trauma that was done to him as a teenager, he wasn’t able to not be changed by it. Do you want to know the whole truth of it all Morgan? How that version of you is an ephebophile? I never asked what his sexual preference as far as the sex of his partners but I saw him with two men. I think that he’ll not stray from his Sub as he’s wholly invested in him.”
Morgan looked at Spencer like he wasn’t understanding the words that came out of his mouth.
“Do I need to-” Spencer stopped when Morgan ran from the room, towards the bathroom. Garcia was on his heels. Spencer could hear whispers.
“Was that really necessary?” Aaron asked.
“I was going to tell him nicely but he had to interrupt me. So yes. And we are waiting for him to come back.”
“I am assuming that we are all there?” Alex asked.
Spencer looked at her, he knew that she felt motherly to him, and he wasn’t sure if it would help or hurt, knowing about Ethan. He had to get the research wrote down and help to direct this world into finding the same cure that the other did.
“In some way.” Spencer slipped off of Aaron’s lap and moved to where she was. Leaning over to hug her, Spencer whispered in her ear. “You would have been proud of the man he became and I’m going to make sure that no more children die.”
Alex wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.” When she let Spencer go, he stood up and wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes.
“I’ll get in touch with the doctors. Get all the research on it. Do it all right.”
“Reid?” Prentiss asked.
“Nothing to worry about, Prentiss. Just personal between Alex and I. You don’t need to know it.” Spencer gave her a look that said the discussion was over and she thankfully nodded. Aaron was shifting on the chair but Spencer sat back down on the arm of the chair.
“I’ll keep my mind to myself, Reid,” Morgan said as he stepped back into the room. Garcia was on his heels but she wasn’t looking at Spencer.
“Good. I was trained by the same person who trained that Spencer. It’s funny. He was able to get me to where I can take down people. I could probably go through the academy again and not have to have passed. I wonder if that’s the difference. If Aaron had been there to save you from yourself at a younger age. Derek was a damned good teacher.”
“I raised him?” Rossi asked.
“More like shaped. You got him too late for any real raising but yes, you and-” Spencer knew that Gideon was the elephant in the room. Gideon was always the elephant in the room. “Because of Aaron and his psychopathy, Gideon left you and Aaron. You were very much an omnisexual lothario, even with cheek scar. You had men and women in your bed every single night. I think that Aaron disrupted you in the middle of a fivesome at one point but I never got an actual answer other than you were an adult. He was very much of the same mind that he didn’t like my inquisitiveness. He lived in the mansion so the other Spencer probably knew more about his comings and goings that Dave wanted.”
“I lived with Aaron?” Rossi asked.
“Yes. I don’t know how long that had gone on but he had his own wing and he did have an apartment for his more…risque partners or ones that he didn’t want Aaron to know about, or he didn’t want Aaron to have to share the knowledge that he knew. I don’t think that anything happened in DC without Aaron knowing. Aaron was powerful and he made sure that everyone knew it.”
“Psychopathy?” Alex asked.
“Aaron fell more on that end while the Spencer that was here was more sociopathic. He was good at hiding it because if the US had an It Couple it was Aaron Hotchner, Esquire and his law assistant Doctor Spencer Reid. The first press conference that I had to do with Aaron nearly turned into a discussion on our home life and not the young man it was supposed to be about. I think the whole damned country is going to faint when Aaron finally puts a ring on Spencer’s finger. Spencer wears the collar publicly and no one is shocked by that aspect of their relationship. Aaron though has a lot of control of everything in DC.”
“What about me?” Prentiss asked.
“Your mother slipped you into Aaron’s household as a spy just like Strauss did on the team but it failed your mother worse than it did Strauss. In fact, one of the first times you were mentioned, you were teaching Jack to shoot.”
“He’s ten in that world and yes, shoot. Whatever Aaron helped you with had to be pretty big as not a lot of people ever got access to Jack. Haley tried to kidnap him as a baby. She was a groupie of sorts and Aaron picked her to have his kid. She was seduced away by Foyet and tried to kidnap Jack. Aaron killed her for it. Aaron loves two people in that world and it’s Jack and Spencer. I’m not even sure that what he feels for Dave can be called love. He is fond of Dave. I think that when Gideon left, he screwed up Aaron’s ability to feel love for a parental figure. I could write paper after paper dissecting that Aaron. JJ was closer to you but she was colder. No Henry lost in the womb and no Will. The file states he was killed in an operation for the New Orleans Police Department but no actual connection was found. I did find that Aaron’s assassin was in town at that time and I fairly certain that he killed him for leaving JJ. All of Aaron’s dealings were only locked in Spencer’s head.”
“And me?” Garcia asked.
“Tamer. Less pure and darker. The other Spencer didn’t like you at all. I didn’t have much contact with your counterpart but yeah, she was sweet.” Spencer didn’t want to be vicious to her but he knew that the other Spencer had written down all of his daydreams about killing her. Torturing her. He found that he himself wasn’t going to let her get away with even half the stuff she tried to get away with before when it came to him. Of course, most of that was finding someone for him to love for his own good. He wasn’t happy with her at all.
“You’ve never called me sweet.” Garcia pouted.
“I’ve never had a reason to. I haven’t always liked you. I don’t like how you treat me and how you push into everyone’s lives. I hate the fact that after the whole ordeal between Anthrax and then my knee, all you gave me was a sucker. Aaron got cookies when he came back to work but my first day back, I didn’t even get welcome back. What happened to Aaron sucked horribly being attacked and then losing Jack and Haley to WitSec but I was in pain too and no one cared.”
“I don’t want to hear an I’m Sorry from you or anyone. It’s too late. Have you ever tried to figure out why I don’t want case files on a tablet? Why I want things printed out? No one has ever asked.”
“You hate them,” Garcia said.
“No. I don’t hate technology. Yes, I mainly use my work email for everything but that is because it’s easier to keep track of one instead of three. I don’t need a personal and my FBI one looks good as a professional one. I have a degree in engineering. You guys do understand I didn’t make models for it out of sticks, right? I had to use a computer. I retain printed words better than words on a screen. My mind processes them better which is what I am here for. To do my job to the best of my ability.” Spencer felt Aaron’s hand land on his back, rubbing and trying to keep him calm but it wasn’t really helping. He was too worked up. Aaron didn’t try and stop him, though. “No one says a thing when Garcia needs to get a new bit of software that allows her to do her job better yet when I want to read a case file I am called a Luddite or a technophobe. Rossi has never said one word and he even printed out his last manuscript for me to read before he sent it off, because he at least tries to understand that aspect of me. He fails in other aspects but never that.”
There was silence again and Spencer was on a roll and he didn’t want to stop. Spencer snagged Aaron’s water because he wasn’t sure exactly where he had set his. He drank half of it.
“I know that I am a joke to everyone, Gideon’s protege that never would have got into the FBI without him but obviously he felt that I was needed.” Spencer paused when it looked like JJ was going to say something. He glared at her and she shut her mouth.
“In my tenure here at the FBI, did you know that in the non-field agent departments, the science and geek ones as the ‘real’ agents call them have gone up over twenty IQ points. The overall IQ base of the whole of the FBI has gone up ten points. People like Charlie Epps and I are coming into the FBI and proving that intelligence is the new sexy. I know the brass sends me on those recruitment seminars because they want to draw more people like me. I might not be able to bust down a door on my own and I might not be able to chase an UnSub for five miles but I give all that I have to this team, sometimes to the detriment of myself. Just to be called life-like, a robot, and egghead. I read over what the other Spencer thought on the team’s reaction when I was announced as the FBI head of the joint project with Grimes Tech. He even heard the comment about how I wouldn’t know what to do with all the money I was going to be getting other than buying more books.
“I buy books that mean something to me. That make me feel something or remind me of someone. The rest I get from libraries or colleges. I buy more books for mom than I do myself. I buy more things for Henry and now Jack than I do myself. I never cared about clothes, just wore what I liked that looked professional until I realized that the cases where I wore a suit, even my coworkers treated me with more respect. So I started to change my clothes. The other Spencer forced the issue and donated all of my old clothes and bought suits. There are always going to be the LEOs that look at me and dismiss me. They will see Doctor and think that I’m not a real agent but the number who think that goes down when my team treats me with respect as well.” Spencer inhaled and exhaled, feeling better than he had in a long time. He looked at the faces of his team and saw a lot of emotions across them. Alex and Rossi had pride. Garcia and Prentiss shock and disbelief. Morgan was just broke. JJ though looked at him with love.
“All I ever asked for was trust and honesty. I trust my team and other than drug-induced lying, I never lied. I never learned how to ask for help because growing up that would have meant being ripped from mom and it wouldn’t have done either of us good. Aaron was the only one who helped me post-Hankel. I never blamed you, Prentiss, because you were so new that even if you had come over to help, I wouldn’t have allowed it. I asked for two things and that’s why I was hurt when Prentiss’s death was faked. But instead of talking to me about it, you were gone,” Spencer said as he looked at JJ. “That police station was the only time you ever really tried to talk to me. You ignored my texts. If it was my ability to keep a secret, no one in Vegas or at Cal-Tech ever figured out that mom was as bad as she was. But none of you thought about that. How I was able to make sure that I wasn’t taken from mom, through getting into Cal-Tech at the age of twelve almost thirteen. There are a lot of home visits and meetings to make sure that I could handle living away from mom. Social workers and therapists. For eight years no one knew that mom was that she was that bad. After mom’s first week at Bennington, Doctor Norman called me. He wanted to congratulate me and yell at me for being able to hide how bad she was. She should have been put in Bennington when I was thirteen.”
“Spence, I’m sorry. I…want to talk to you alone. Talk about things that the other you and I talked about. We can do it whenever you are ready,” JJ stood up and moved over to sit on Will’s lap. She leaned over and hugged Spencer. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“So I know that this has all been cathartic but I want to get back to the topic of the sociopathic serial killer assassin who killed me who has been living here for six months.” Will sounded dead serious and when Spencer pulled out of JJ’s hug to look at him, he saw disbelief on everyone else’s faces.
“I think, Will. I think you are the only one to but those pieces together,” Aaron said.
“The other Aaron trained Spencer to be his perfect assassin. He was even trained in Japan in some of those arts. He killed the men associated with Ford. He killed Strauss’s family and pinned that on Curtis before killing Strauss. He killed my father and he killed Gideon. That one I am still not sure if it was more for me or for himself. I think he wants to kill the Gideon of his world but won’t because Aaron would be very upset. So he used this Gideon as a surrogate. The other Gideon lives off of a feeding tube in the basement of the mansion with only really Dave as a contact. After he tried to lie to get Spencer away from Aaron. I visited him and said my piece to him so that once I came home, I’d never think of him again.” Spencer turned to look at Aaron asking the silent question. Aaron nodded. “He also killed AD Richmond. Because John was my sponsor and after Gideon’s death and the delayed notification on my father, he felt I should have gone running to a meeting but never did. Spencer killed him purely for his own sake.”
“He did all that?”
“Failure wasn’t an option and while the other Aaron never said a word about it, his only thought was getting him back and so I am sure that Spencer would have done anything to make sure that he came back to his Aaron alive.”
“I thought for a little I that he was suicidal and he told me he wasn’t that he never would be as long as there was hope that he would get back to his Aaron and his Jack.” Aaron pulled Spencer into his lap again, wrapping his arm around his waist and holding him close. “I believe that if I had become a danger to his ability to get back or even just live, he would have killed me as well. I think that only Henry and Jack would have been safe in that regard. He was manipulative, and he lied to get what he wanted. Given the full breadth of what he had gone through as a kid and a teenager, before the other Aaron taking him, I’m shocked he was able to hide for so long.”
“It was his will that kept him as level as he was. He kept himself sane, even before going to La Mort.” Will had his arm around JJ’s waist, holding her in place, Spencer saw more than anything.
“What?” Aaron asked.
“Saw you two leaving that place. Coming in here today and seeing the collar around Spencer’s neck. New Orleans has it all and nothing shocks me. One of my first days on the job as a Dom in a roid rage. He killed his Sub and then had started on anyone in the streets. He never made it to trial, killed himself when he came down from it. After seeing you two together like that and then JJ telling me about you taking the Section Chief job. I am not shocked by the change of events like the others. I have an outsider’s look at you all. I see the small changes easier because I don’t see you all daily. I got to see Spencer changing as he and Hotch danced around each other. I saw a dramatic change in him after the explosion but it was life changing. He survived and it would have changed him but I also knew there was something deeper. Then seeing him and Hotch leaving the BDSM club, seeing Hotch and the way he cared for that Spencer. I thought I was seeing the reason for the changes. I am no less shocked than y’all about the actual reason for it all but while what that Spencer did while here was damning and it rocks all of our worlds, we can’t hold that against him. Ourselves for not seeing it but not Spencer.”
“I don’t think I have ever heard you say that much in a week,” Spencer said, trying to lighten the mood. His and Aaron’s relationship, or whatever they were needed to be discussed. Emotions were high and while Spencer felt lighter for what he had said, he knew his words were weighing heavy on the others.
“I am a man of few words.” Will smiled at him before he took a drink of his own bottle of water.
“I don’t understand the want of a relationship or a lifestyle like you two seem to have but then I don’t understand looking at another male body and feeling arousal. I can’t pass judgment on someone for something that makes them happy as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else. I just need time to accept and get my own head on right,” Morgan said. He smiled at Spencer. “You have my blessing, as long as I don’t ever see office sex.”
“I’ve tried since a year after your divorce to get you to date again. You are more invested in this team as a family than I ever was. I’m not shocked that you fell in love with one. That it’s Reid should shock me but it doesn’t. You two have been on this wave from the moment I joined the team. Your trust in him is huge and you never trusted me that way or Gideon and I don’t think you have ever trust Max to make you coffee. You are stable and Reid needs that anD Reid, despite his childhood, looks at life with wonder. You need that Aaron, to combat the darkness we all have inside of us from this job.”
JJ didn’t say anything, her approval on the relationship had come before to a different Spencer but Spencer knew what the hand on his thigh along with the squeeze meant. He looked at Garcia and all she did was give him a wan smile. It was probably all he would get for a while from her. Alex smiled at him, saying so much with that smile. They’d talk later when it was just them.
“I can’t say much at all, keeping secrets and other such things. I’m glad you have someone Reid who makes you happy, even if it is gruff old Hotch.” Prentiss was smiling but it wasn’t reaching her eyes. Spencer understood it was too much too close to her faked death. Knowing that she had rebuilt the relationship with another him and not the real him, it had to hurt. He’d find time to talk to her, one on one, find time to talk to all of them one on one.
“I think that we have all had a lot of emotions so before anything else is said, we should eat,” Aaron said. Spencer tried to get up but Aaron kept his arm around his waist. “I love you.”
Spencer turned to face Aaron, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “I love you too.”
There were murmured words as everyone made their own sandwiches, standing around the little island in the kitchen. It went a little into helping them heal up the wounds on them.
“So, Pretty Boy, Atlantic City, and that tournament. You go every year?”
“Pretty much. I have fun doing it and I’ve only gotten better as the years go. Profiling lends a lot to it. I even got to do it in the other universe. I think it was more of the other Aaron testing me than an actual want to make me happy by letting me do it. The entry fee was just a drop in the bucket for money for him. His Spencer played regularly before he was eighteen in his household. I did it to earn money quickly.”
“I still want to see video footage of Hotch in Atlantic City,” Morgan said with a laugh.
“I’m upset I missed out on Jackson hitting on Aaron,” Spencer said with a pout. He looked at Aaron and saw that he was a little unsettled but Spencer tucked himself into his body and the tension went away. “Seeing the Jackson in the other world is making me excited to see the differences. It’s surprising how different yet the same some things are. The other Aaron was very controlling and he never strayed from Spencer but before him there was Jackson. Two very alpha Doms in love and they knew they would never be able to stay together and be what each needed. Aaron said they tried to look for a Sub to share but never did. Once Spencer came into Aaron’s life that part was over. Aaron would never share him and I don’t think that even Spencer consenting to it would change his mind.”
“Jackson Grimes and Aaron?” Rossi asked.
“Yes. And according to what the other Spencer left in his journals, this Jackson hit on Aaron. Several times.”
“Aaron, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush,” Rossi said with a smile. Aaron cleared his throat and took a drink of his water before pointedly glaring at Rossi. Spencer picked at his sandwich as the sound of talking washed over him. He was looking forward to lunch being over and spending the afternoon with the kids and the evening at work.
Spencer sat down at his desk with a sigh. He was shocked by the elegance of it. It was beautiful and one that he would have picked out. He found everything g to do with Grimes Tech and started to read. He wanted everything that he had to get though done before he started work fully the next day.
Jack and Henry had been perfect at the play business. Henry had taken a good nap for Jessica at her place and so when she had dropped the two off at Aaron’s, they had been ready to go. Spencer found a happiness in watching them. Seeing Jack being so kind to Henry. Playing games the younger boy could play and even spent two hours in a ball pit just because it made Henry happy. Dinner had been sandwiches, chips, and tea. Being with the boys hadn’t been tiring but the emotional upheaval of the morning set him up for tiredness.
It took an hour to read over everything on hand for Grimes Tech and another hour to go over everything that related his actual job. He started at the beginning of the case files and read. The first few were off a little but the other Spencer had the hang of copying him by the fourth. His personal work files that he kept on each case had been updated for each one and helped him know what happened that didn’t go into the report. It was going to be so easy to just step back into his work life. His personal life, on the other hand, was a mess.
A knock on the door to his office had Spencer looking up. Lou, the night shift guard for the floor was standing there with a smile on his face.
“Never thought I’d see you again, outside of running in for late cases. You got that boyfriend of yours and don’t come in and work at night like you used to.”
“I don’t think I’ll be as gone from here as you think for at least a little while.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
“Just over the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. That’s all. Al and I are ordering pizza, want some?”
“Sure.” Spencer wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to go home, to bed either in his lonely apartment where he knew he wouldn’t get any sleep or to Aaron’s where he wasn’t sure where he fit. He hadn’t figured himself out yet and he wasn’t going to drag Aaron into it, he was dealing with the switch himself.
“Good.” Lou pushed himself off the door jam where he’d been leaning and stepped closer to Spencer with a cup of coffee in his hand. Spencer took it with a smile.
“Watched on camera as you walked in ad knew you could use a pick me up. It’s that mocha cinnamon thing that you like. Sweet talked Stan from the second floor into doing a run.”
“You take care of me, Lou.”
“Just like you take care of the world, Doctor Reid. No more than you deserve, you and that whole team of yours. Want me to wake you if you fall asleep?”
Spencer looked down at that cup of coffee in his hand and thought about it for a few minutes. “No. I have clothes here. Wake me at five if I fall asleep.”
“You got it. I’ll bring you up a few slices when it gets here around ten.”
“Thank you, Lou.”
Lou turned and moved out of the office. He’d been the guard for the floor since Spencer had started on the team. He’d found him curled up on Aaron’s couch more often than not that first year. Aaron had been the one to offer it after one too many stiff necks for the younger man. Lou had started to act like a friend and then a kind older brother before Spencer’s first year on the team was gone.
Spencer had talked to Aaron about going to the office when he had dropped Jack off. Aaron had seemed disappointed but understood his reasons.
Busying himself with just taking care of paperwork that the other Spencer hadn’t finished, Spencer passed the nine o’clock hour with little thought to anything but work. The smell of pizza hit Spencer before he could even hear Lou. The man had a plate with three pieces of pizza as well two bread sticks and a cupcake on it. In his other hand was a bottle of flavored water.
“You eat it al, you hear?” Lou said as he dropped the plate on the desk, right on top of the file Spencer had been working on. “That boyfriend might have got you into working out but you are still too damned skinny for that muscle you got. I’ll wake you at five so you can get in a quick workout and a shower. The gym will be opened for you.”
“Still say I should meet this boyfriend and let him know what I think of how he takes care of you.”
“He takes care of me as much-”
“-as you let him,” Lou finished. Spencer smiled but it wasn’t a happy one. “I’ve seen the collar, Doctor Reid, seen you touch it. He ain’t taking care of you as much as he should if you have to settle yourself that way. I was a kid in the sixties and seventies, ain’t much that’s gonna shock me.”
“Go to work, Lou,” Spencer said with a little heat to his voice. It was a safe word of sorts. Telling Lou that it was too much and Spencer was uncomfortable. Lou nodded and left, leaving Spencer alone to his thoughts.
There was too much in Spencer’s head as he ate. So much of his life had changed without him. He had known that the other Spencer would wreak havoc on his life but he hadn’t realized that he had set up the grounds for the entire world to know about his sex life. He wasn’t ashamed of what he was, what he had found himself to be. He just hadn’t expected it all to be so out there even in this world. Lou was a shock. He knew the man wasn’t ever shy about anything. The man was smart but he wanted a stress free life, so he’d chose night security for the FBI.
Spencer reached down to his plate and found that all that was left was the cupcake. He’d ate the rest of the food without realizing it. He peeled the wrapper off the cupcake and laid it on the plate. It was from that fancy place that charged like four bucks a cupcake but gave the guards discounts when they bought several before closing. It was the cookie dough one, Spencer’s favorite that they made. He enjoyed every bite of it, finishing off the latte before he snagged the water to wash it all down. He looked at the file and signed it, the last of the paperwork he had on his desk.
There was nothing left for him to do so he moved towards the bullpen. He found JJ’s office, her old office that was her new one again. There were pictures on the wall, including one of him and Henry. He remembered the day it was taken, Spencer had got Henry to laugh so hard that he’d snorted. Which had caused JJ and Will to laugh even harder. Henry had figured out that snorting when he laugh made everyone else laugh hard so he kept doing it. By the time that Henry had worn himself out, Spencer’s stomach muscles had hurt from laughing and his voice had been hoarse.
The rest of the office looked like it had. Spencer knew that JJ was upset, going back to being the liaison but he knew that she’d settle down. He agreed with the other Spencer that Morgan doing those aspects like Aaron had before wasn’t going to work. Spencer had spent more time in front of a camera in the six months in the other world than he had in the years before in his own. Some cases, he might offer to help JJ with talking to the media.
Spencer turned to leave the office but he saw a box under her desk, tucked in the back. It was locked and Spencer made a mental note to ask her about it. Spencer exited the office and moved to Alex’s desk, his old desk. It was neat and orderly, just like her desk had been at Georgetown. Spencer was happy to see her on the team. He knew that she was happy to be on the team as well.
Prentiss’s desk was the marginal chaos it always was. Until she had joined the team, Spencer had been the brunt of the messy jokes. He just always had a lot ping on so his desk looked messy but everything was in its place. Prentiss’s though was chaos and she always spent at least ten minutes finding things if she was rushed.
Spencer moved past the desks and to the steps. He moved up them at a normal pace but stopped just outside the door to Morgan’s office. There was a pause to his hand reaching for the knob. Aaron never shut his door unless he was in a meeting. Seeing it shut at night bothered Spencer. He opened the door, almost expecting to find it locked. The desk was the same but the rest of the furniture wasn’t. It looked nothing like Aaron’s office. The desk was moved to sit in the corner, facing the door. Spencer tried not to profile the office but it was hard. So much screamed at him that Morgan wasn’t comfortable with it all. In that instant, Spencer knew why Morgan wanted Aaron back as UC and it had more to do with Morgan not feeling ready than anything.
“You know that staring at an office is not exactly normal,” Lou said.
“I know. Just thinking.”
“Think yourself to sleep. You’ve been wandering up here for too long and you won’t get enough sleep.”
“I don’t like changes.”
“No one does but changes are needed to grow. It’s going to be rough but you’ll pull through. You always do. Change is how one reinvents oneself and it’s scary but it’s needed.”
“I’ll go to sleep now.”
Spencer turned to leave and Lou shut Morgan’s office door before following Spencer to his office. Once Spencer was inside, he left. Spencer opened the door though to the one room he hadn’t visited. Aaron’s office. He room was different but not as startling as Morgan’s office. The couch Spencer slept on was against one wall, where from Aaron’s desk, he could see all of it. It was kind of behind the main part of the desk, as opposed to how it had been in his old office. Spencer crossed over and found the blanket where it always was behind a pillow and flipped it out. He toed off his shoes and laid down, smelling Aaron’s scent all around him. It wasn’t long before he was asleep.