Title: Spiral
Series: A Whole New and Bright World
Ratings: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom(s): 9-1-1
Category: M/M, F/M
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan “Buck” Buckley/OFC
Characters: Evan “Buck” Buckley, Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz
Tags: Pre-Slash, Canon Divergence, Maddie’s A+ Sistering, What the hell Maddie?!, Brief Buck/OFC Sex Scene
Summary: Buck just wants to feel, so he goes out alone to try and pick someone up because last time with Eddie, no one gave either of them a second look.
Word Count: 7,661
Year: 2018 (Season 2)
Spoilers: Everything Currently Aired
Notes: None
Alpha: V.Mures
Beta: ScarsLikeVelvet

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Buck checked his phone. He had been out and about most of the day, unable to just sit at home with Eddie and Chris. Buck felt a little like an outsider with them sometimes, so he had slipped off with the words of needing to run some errands. He saw that Abby hadn’t responded to him, but Buck knew that she might not even be awake given the time difference.

I’m glad you are finding yourself, but there are times that I miss talking to you when I need an ear. Thank you for being here for what I have needed over the last while. I know that I told you I would tell you someday, and maybe that day could be sooner rather than later.

Buck locked his phone as the waitress dropped off his dinner. He was hungry as hell because he had skipped lunch even if he didn’t mean to. He had snacked all afternoon but nothing too big. So he was starving. He had plans with his old roommates after this, heading out to a club that they really liked they had found. Buck was happy to get out with them again. They had been the kind of family he had needed back then. People who had accepted him for who he was. They didn’t care about anything but having him around to have fun with. He had needed that, but it was no longer what he needed for a family.

There was nothing like a nicely cooked steak to make the day seem like it was better. He cut the potato into bite-sized pieces instead of just eating the middle. He had enough butter on it, and a little pepper made it perfect. The fresh steamed veggies were done to perfection. This was one of Buck’s favorite places. He was left alone unless he caught the eye of one of the wait staff.

Dinner was a slow affair of Buck reading things on his phone while taking bites when he thought of it. Dessert was going to be drinks out. He had already planned on leaving his truck behind and getting an Uber to the club. There was a good parking lot for that. There might even be a taxi there waiting since it was the place to drop vehicles off when one was going out drinking. No tickets would be made, and the parking was free. It had helped with not having nearly as many drunk driving incidents. There were more lots like it popping up around town.

“Anything else today, Buck?” Linda asked as she came up to Buck’s table. He was always sat in her section so that he could relax. Especially when people started to recognize him from the news about various rescues and things.

“Nah, that’s it.” Buck handed over cash, with more than enough for a tip. He knew exactly how much the meal was since it was pretty much the only thing he got there.

“Okay, have a good night.”

“I plan on it,” Buck said.

The club was hopping, and Buck was happy that he was already on a list to get inside as there were more than enough people to make the wait long. He found his friends inside, half of them already talking to girls, the other half were at the table. He slipped into the seat and grabbed the first drink offered to him. He found it was a cocktail that tasted like it was more alcohol than anything else. He took a long drink of it and was pleased with how much it burned.

Buck was happy to be out with friends. He and Eddie had gone to a bar not too long ago for a relaxing night, and no one had given either of them their numbers. Buck still wasn’t sure what went on with that, but he was afraid it was a sign.

“So, back into the game?”

“Yeah, I think it’s time. For now, though, I just want to have some fun.”

“Get her out of our system before looking for another long-term partner?”

Buck nodded his head. He looked around the club, seeing more than a few girls looking at him.

“So I saw this girl earlier. I think you would like her.”

Buck looked at his friend and raised an eyebrow but then followed the point of the man’s finger. Buck looked at the girl on the far side of the room. She was under light and talking to another girl. She was gorgeous and pressed in pants and a shirt that clung instead of a skirt like most of the girls in there.

“And what’s her name?”

“Tina. She’s a lawyer, family law though, not the horrible kind of law.”

Buck laughed. Despite having a very laissez-faire attitude about life, his friends didn’t like criminal lawyers too much.

“Okay, then I guess I’ll go over and talk to her.”

“Good. She likes men who can pick her up and fuck her against a wall.”

“How do you know that?” Buck asked.

“She told me when I was talking you up to her. I said you were big and strong, and she said that was the only thing she cared about when it came to strength.”

Buck nodded. He finished off his drink and stood up. Tina looked at him as he walked toward her. Her friend that was with her slipped away between one blink of Buck’s eyes and the next.

Tina pressed her back to the wall and looked Buck up and down when he was finally close enough, and she could get a good look at him in the dark of the room. Buck paused in the light she had been in and let her look at him.

Sex was easy for him to get. With Abby, Buck had learned what he wanted. What he had been searching for with everyone else, a connection. Times like right now, Buck didn’t want a connection. Well, not that kind of connection.

“Well, he wasn’t lying about you being hot,” Tina said.

“Well, that’s good. He tends to underplay my looks since I’m not exactly his cup of tea,” Buck said.

“What’s his cup of tea?”

“Lithe and male.” Buck stepped closer to Tina and put his hands on the wall on either side of her head. He looked down at her body. “You’ve got a little too much on the top. He’ll dabble with some girls if they are pretty buff, but mostly he wants guys.”

“And you?”

“I like women. A lot.”

“Haven’t seen you around here before.”

“Had a steady girlfriend. She left to find herself after losing her mother. I thought that having a little fun was just what I needed before I got back on the market for a steady girlfriend.”

“So you are looking for miss right now, not miss forever?” Tina asked.

“Very much so but not like here. I have moved past sex in places that aren’t my bedroom, or actually, I guess that would be your bedroom.”


“Roommate. He’s got a son. We work together, and he took me in after my girlfriend left. Let’s go get our dance on. I did not drive. I was planning on getting an Uber back.”

“I did the same. So we can dance, see if we think we can do the horizontal mambo as well.”

Buck agreed and started to back up, pulling Tina with him as he went. Her pants were painted on, and Buck could see that her thighs looked like they could kill him. What a way for him to go, though. The music was just right, and where they were, there was no chance to talk. All of the sounds were just music and the blood pumping through his body. Buck loved this kind of thing.

Peru had taught him how to love dancing like this, to get lost in the beat and the body pressed to him. Buck lost hours to this kind of thing before. He didn’t want to lose hours to this. Just a little while and then move on to someone else if Tina doesn’t do it for him or go home with her.

Tina leaned in a few songs later and nipped at Buck’s ear. She sucked the lobe into her mouth next, and Buck pulled her closer, rocking her groin off his leg. He was more than ready to get the next part going. He was glad when she tugged him off the floor. Buck found his friends and waved at them before pointing to the door. His friends gave him thumbs up.

The trip to Tina’s place was pretty quick. Buck texted Eddie and his friends the address where he was going along with the name of the woman he was with. Tina had taken Buck’s picture and texted that to her friends, and Buck had easily offered up the station he worked out of. He laughed as he got a message from Eddie about making sure to drink enough water.

“What?” Tina asked as she opened the door to her place.

“My friend is reminding me to drink water to replace fluids. He’s kind of an asshole sometimes.”

“Well, sometimes they make the best friends.”

“They do.” Buck looked around, and he knew that Tina did well for herself. He snagged the belt loop on Tina’s pants and pulled her back to him with a kiss on her lips. They hadn’t gone that far yet, and Buck really hoped that they would keep going a little further as the night progressed.

“Hmm, you kiss well,” Tina said. She wiggled from Buck’s hold and headed toward the back of the place as she kept a hold on Buck’s shirt. “You opened up about yourself, so I’ll open up about me. I’m just starting to get out there again after my fiance left me four months ago. He decided that he didn’t want to get married to me or to anyone.”

“Well, we can both be happy with getting back out there now. So bedroom?” Buck pressed the door he was led to open and slipped into the room. He saw the bed was already stripped down to where the blankets were piled in the corner. “Always planned on bringing someone home?”

“Yes. Now I have a request before we get any further. I have a clean test as of two days ago and have had no risky contact. I would gladly show it to you.”

Buck started to feel a little creeped out. He wasn’t going to stick his dick inside of her without a condom. He knew better than that.

“I love oral, getting it that is. I have condoms for our other activity, but I don’t like oral with a dam,” Tina said.

“Ah, well, I’m pretty good at oral, so I can do that. I do want to see the test.”

Tina didn’t even hesitate to go over and get it, stripping as she went. Buck got his clothes off as he watched Tina. She showed the paper to Buck before shoving her pants down her body. She was just in her bra and underwear, a matching pair that made Buck’s mouth water. Buck glanced at the paper, and he tossed it to the side before he tugged Tina in close to kiss her again.

Losing time in the kiss was the point of it. Buck touched and let Tina touch where she wanted, even if most of that was across Buck’s groin and more than a few strokes to his cock.

“You are a big boy, aren’t you?” Tina asked.

“I’ve never gotten complaints on being too small.” Buck cupped Tina’s breast and rubbed his thumb over her nipple. It felt good to feel her shuddering in his arms. “You like having your pussy and your tits played with, don’t you?”

“I really do. I can get off so easily while fingering myself and playing with my nipples.”

“On the bed,” Buck said. He followed her over there to get on the bed himself as soon as she was down on it. “You are already wet.”

“I would say that I get wet at the drop of a hat, but I don’t. I’m really looking forward to getting a little rough with you.”

“Yes, something about a wall?” Buck asked. He traced his fingers over the wet spot on her underwear. He just wanted to bend down and lick her already. He hadn’t gone down a woman since Peru. In LA, it had been all rushed and random hook-ups. He had been more than willing to just get his dick wet and leave again. He really hoped that she was up for him going to town on her because he really wanted that.

“Yes. That can come for the second round. We can get a little nap in or a snack and some drinks, then have another round as soon as you are ready.”

“That sounds good to me.” Buck plucked at the edge of her bra and then pulled it down to get a nipple easily. He licked across and then sucked once before looking up at her. Her eyes were closed, and her mouth was open.

Buck got his hand down into Tina’s underwear, his fingers teasing at her folds before he pressed his fingers in deeper, finding her hole and rubbing across that. Buck worked her clit and then would lick at her nipples.

“Shit,” Tina said. She grabbed at the bedding under her hands and tangled her fingers into it.

Buck pulled away to work her underwear down her legs. As soon as her feet were free, she spread her legs to give Buck the best access to her. He moved up to take her nipple into his mouth again, a hand tweaking the one he wasn’t sucking on. After a few minutes, Tina tried to close her legs, probably to rub her thighs together. Buck was there to stop her, though. He snagged her asscheeks as he finally let the nipple pop free of his mouth.

“I’m not sure I’m gonna survive you putting your mouth down there,” Tina said.

“Oh, well, I can not do it,” Buck said.

“Don’t you fucking dare. I want your mouth on me right now,” Tina commanded.

“Like giving orders, huh?” Buck asked.

“When it comes to my pleasure? I sure do.”

Buck didn’t say anything, but he did drop his mouth down to give a good lick across the folds. He made sure that he didn’t go at the clit at all, making Tina groan in frustration. He used his thumbs to spread her before licking from hole to clit, and Tina shuddered.

There was nothing quite like this. He loved feeling people shaking apart under him as he gave them pleasure. One of his lovers in Peru had told him that he loved the act of sex more than sex itself, giving someone pleasure rather than getting it. Which wasn’t fully true, Buck loved orgasms, but he loved this feeling right now. Knowing that he was making her feel like this.

“Please, please, please,” Tina chanted as Buck worked fingers inside of her to get her off as quickly as possible.

There were only a few more moments before she came, shaking and squeezing on his fingers so hard. He leaned up and grabbed for the condom on the table, and he got it open as quickly as possible. He made sure she was slick enough before pressing the head of his cock to Tina’s opening. He paused to wait for her to give him the nod before he pushed inside of her.

Tina cried out, and her body jerked a little at the feel of Buck filling her up. He paused when he was all the way inside of her to allow her to get used to being filled up. Buck felt like he was hanging on by a thread, and he only started to move when he was sure he would go off without getting her off again.

They writhed together, Buck kissing and touching as much skin as he could. He was slow as he started to work himself inside of her. Tina rolled her body, not being passive at all. It was better than Buck thought it would be, and honestly, it was the kind of sex he needed. There wasn’t an emotional connection, but they kissed and touched; there was a good bit of emotion in it.

The aftermath was laying in the bed on their backs, catching their breath. Buck was more than happy with that, and he would gladly stay for a round or two. He wasn’t feeling drunk anymore, so hopefully, he could catch an Uber after that and head to his Jeep and then home.

“Well, I’d say that I would keep you after that, but while it’s good, I think I like having it just be tonight,” Tina said.

“Oh, I agree. Scratch this itch and then work on finding someone else,” Buck agreed.

There was not a lot to do until they were cleared. Buck looked at Eddie and saw him frowning at his phone.

“What’s up?”

“Chris won’t leave Carla alone, and I don’t want him to see me like this,” Eddie said.

“Eddie, he will understand. I know that he would rather see you, even over the phone, than to just worry.”

“Oh, he wants to see you as well.”

Buck frowned at that. He looked at the phone that was in Eddie’s hand and then at his own. He opened up the texting app. Thankfully, they were allowed to sit off the drugging here at the station. He frowned at the text from Maddie.

Buck, I want to check you out. You should be seen by a doctor, not just one paramedic who is friends with you.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked.

“Oh, it’s just Maddie. She’s being a helicopter sister.”

Buck tapped to reply to her, and he wasn’t going to be nice.

I was checked out by an ER doctor, but the choice was made that we were on the downward turn, so it was probably best to have us here instead. C shift was off rotation, and they aren’t on tomorrow, so they were called in, and they are all here with us. I told you no on visiting me when I’m drugged, and I wish you would respect that.

“What’s she want?”

“She doesn’t trust that we were seen by a doctor. She assumed that Chim was the only one to look at us. Which is insane given that we were dosed while on the job against our will. I mean, they took like a gallon of blood,” Buck said. He looked at his arm, where it still hurt after the nurse taking his blood had blown the vessel. He had iced it a little while back, but he probably needed to do it again.

“Will she just show up here?”

“I have no clue. We’ve had those little meetings over the last little while, and Dr. Copeland really wants for us to sit down and talk in front of her, with her acting like someone who can help us instead of just picking sides.”

“It can’t hurt,” Eddie said.

“My parents don’t have a good grasp of good mental health; I mean, I really don’t think that my mother got any help after Daniel died. If she did, it didn’t work. I just don’t know what to think of everything, really. I love Maddie, and I want to fix this, but I still don’t know what I feel about it all. I get that she was in a horrible position. A rock and a hard place, but I just don’t know.”

“Shannon signed the papers and sent them back. She didn’t contest me having full custody. Hell, she didn’t fight anything on there. I mean, she’s keeping what she’s got. I’m keeping what I got. Chris was the only big issue.”

“Yeah, I’m glad she did. So, soon you’ll be divorced?” Buck asked.

“Soon. My lawyer is still working on things. It was quicker than I thought, but everything with Chris made things a lot easier to push things through. We’ve lived apart, so it wasn’t like things were hard to go through.”

Buck’s phone vibrated, and he was afraid to look at it. Maddie wasn’t doing great, but it wasn’t up to Buck to fix that. Not when it was his own mental health he was looking out for. He chatted with Maddie near-daily in texts. Checking in with her and making sure that she was still settling in well at the Call Center. He just didn’t want to see her at the moment.

“Not distracted well enough?” Eddie asked.

Buck laughed. He knew that they were almost low enough to not be considered high anymore. He just didn’t know what was what the drugs were doing to him and what wasn’t when it came to his feelings, and he didn’t want Maddie hurt by that. He had no filter, as Chim had found out after a joke.

“So, are you seeing Tina again?” Eddie asked.

“No. I didn’t even get her number.”

“Really? You looked pretty happy with yourself that morning,” Eddie said.

“It was just a one-time thing to brush off the cobwebs, and that’s it. I don’t want to turn into the Buck I was before that.”

“Before what?”

Buck looked at Eddie to see if he was just fishing for something to use or he really wanted to know. He would have assumed that everyone at the station would have spilled that all to him already.

“I had a problem. I liked sex a little too much, and I thought that I might have had a sex addiction for a little while. Turned out I was just really trying to supplement sex for an emotional connection to someone.” Buck paused and looked around the room. There was no one else around them right now, but he still felt like he was exposed. There were enough jokes made about him and his promiscuous days that he didn’t really want to start them up again. He got up and walked over to the railing to see that no one was down near the trucks. They could get up on top of them and have a good bit of privacy.

“Want to talk elsewhere?” Eddie asked.

“Yes, God, yes,” Buck said.

“Lead the way,” Eddie said. He grabbed the bottles of water that they were supposed to be drinking. They had done well so far, but there was still one bottle each needed.

Food and water had been plied on them as soon as they got back from the hospital visit, just not by Bobby, who didn’t trust himself to cook anything. Buck got on top of the truck and settled into the little nook made by the walking area, and he wrapped his arms loosely around his legs.

“So, I’ve heard a few comments about Buck 1.0,” Eddie said.

“Yeah, that’s who I was before I met Abby. Anyway, I nearly got fired, but Bobby finally relented and got me to see a therapist.”

“That’s good, right? My sisters forced me into it when I got back. When I stopped fighting it and actually tried to work through things, I started to feel better. Shannon was already gone by that point, and it was just Chris and me. My father wasn’t happy since he wanted me to just move on and put it all in the past.”

“Toxic masculinity,” Buck said. He had heard a lot about it, but his family hadn’t been good in many ways, but his father didn’t seem to instill those things in him, or if he tried, it failed.

“Yes. Those are the words that my therapist used. I check myself a few times a year. Which the one who does the interviews for the Academy was a little shocked about, given my military history.”

“Eh, sometimes you just know when something works. However, my first time with a therapist of any kind wasn’t a good one.”

“Why not?” Eddie asked. He leaned forward and seemed to actually care.

Buck swallowed and plucked at a piece of lint on his knee.

“We ended up having sex,” Buck said.

“You went to a therapist for a sex addiction, and they had sex with you?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, she did. She had made friends with me on Facebook before that, and then when she saw I was on her docket since she worked with the LAFD, she still visited. I didn’t see anything wrong with it until it was brought up once with Abby. Abby was freaked out, and she made me file a complaint. That’s how I found Dr. Copeland. Abby helped me find someone I could trust. Dr. Copeland was pretty happy to not really touch on my sex issues until a little further into everything. I got to know her and trust her, and then it was tackled. Of course, there was the court part of things. Which wasn’t fun. Anyway, I got a quick hold on my want of sex since Dr. Copeland worked me through what I was looking for.”

“A lot of sex back to back is trying to push things away and get affection.”

“Yeah, Abby was strong with me through the whole thing. Things were good, and then her mother died, and she left. I’ve been afraid of sliding back, but I needed that night.”

“Because you wanted to clear the lines,” Eddie said.

Buck nodded. He looked at Eddie and smiled at him. No one had ever got him like Eddie did, and he was still so shocked they had known each other for such a short time. Eddie didn’t push for Buck to be anyone but Buck.

Maddie had been pushing Buck to get out there and date again, and while Buck wanted to, he felt like he was not ready. He and Abby had ended things better than her just fully ghosting him. Still, he had needed something like Eddie and Chris to make sure he didn’t go off the deep end.

“So yeah, that’s why I see Dr. Copeland. There were jokes about the whole sex with my therapist, but it wasn’t until after I saw Dr. Copeland that I realized that none of them cared. They didn’t understand how horrible that was. I mean, I didn’t get it at first, but I’m young and stupid.”

“That’s horrible. Even if it was your first visit, that’s not supposed to happen.”

“Yeah, the case with me was one thing since I was seeing her personally. Another had to do with other LAFD people who went to her to get clearance to go back to work. I didn’t want to be lumped into that for obvious reasons and allowed it to stay quiet. I never thought that it was bad.”

“I’m glad that someone cared,” Eddie said. He reached out and laid his hand over Buck’s knee and shook it.

“Okay, everyone! Symptom check before we get everyone rides home!” Chim called out.

Buck looked at the time and saw it was nearly the end of shift which was when the doctor had told them it would be fine to go home.

“Pepa’s coming to pick us up. Then we can settle in and get our heads around what happened.”

“I texted Dr. Copeland, and she’s going to do a call with me later. She’s only got a few minutes, but she wants to talk to me for a few minutes in front of our next scheduled visit.”

“You can do a video call. I can stay in the bedroom.”

“Nah, it’s fine. The phone is just fine. She’s happy to just listen to me, she said. She told me that most of my emotions are in my voice and while seeing me is nice sometimes, she’s happy with just a voice most of the time.”

“Okay. I hope that we get the results of what we were dosed with as soon as possible. I’m not too worried about it. It would be nice to know.”

Buck agreed on that, and he stood up. Chim was looking down at him from above. It looked like they were doing the check-up there. Probably that and eating breakfast which had hopefully been finished. It was just some kind of casserole that Bobby helped on since he was more back to himself and could be trusted at the stove.

“B shift is going to take the others home; you sure that you don’t want a ride from them as well?” Bobby asked when Buck and Eddie sat down at the table to eat.

“Yeah, Pepa wants to see me anyway. She worries. Abuela will want to hear from her as well. I’m sure my parents don’t know, so hopefully, I won’t be fielding a call from them, but I’ll deal if they do.”

“I can answer it and speak gibberish to make them think they got a wrong number.”

“I’ve heard him do that before,” Hen said.

“Really?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, we had an asshole who was calling the direct line to the station, and we got all pissed off. Buck had been here a week. He spoke gibberish so well; I was pretty sure he was actually speaking a language. It was repeating the same stuff with the same inflection and then adding in new stuff. I nearly pissed my pants laughing.” Hen was grinning as she spoke, and it was a good way to settle all of them.

They were all fine. They might be a bit afraid of things given to them, but at least they were all good.

“Oh, Buck, that woman who was here filming the crew left her number,” Chim called out. He flung the folded-up paper down the table.

Buck caught it, and he looked at it. “Taylor?”

“Yes,” Chim said.

Buck laid the paper down without opening it up. He didn’t want her number. She seemed fun, but it also seemed like something that wasn’t going to be what he was looking for. Taylor was hot and smart, but something about her made Buck feel like he wasn’t going to be a priority at all. Buck had seen how Eddie made his son a priority; despite the job, he had seen Hen and Karen and their relationship. He knew it could be done, but Taylor seemed like the kind of person who would sacrifice everything with him to have what she wanted for her career. It was her right to want that, though, and it was Buck’s right to not want that.

“Let’s go home,” Eddie said a few minutes later.

Buck nodded. He finished off his food, and they submitted to Chim’s check. It seemed like things were going to go a lot better now. Buck found he didn’t want to go back to the he that he was before.

Buck woke up to the feel of the bed moving. He didn’t want to get up. He really didn’t want to at all. His brain was slow to come on, so Buck didn’t realize until he had already cuddled into the other person that he had gone to bed alone the night before.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Eddie said. The hand on his hip tightened, and the other that was across his chest at a weird angle started to rub.

“What’s going on?” Buck asked.

“You had a nightmare but calmed down when I rubbed your back. You latched onto my arm and didn’t let go, so I just settled in to sleep in the bed.”

“Sorry,” Buck said. He tried to remember what he might have had a nightmare about. There was nothing that slipped into his head.

“You were telling someone to hold on.”

“Oh, the roller coaster,” Buck said. He knew that he was kind of numb to that one in his daily life. “You know about that?”

“I watched all the news while I was in the Academy, Buck. Yes, I knew about that. I knew you from the news, but I could also see you looking lost as hell.”

“That’s why you didn’t let my shit make you hate me.” Buck swallowed, and he realized that he was still lying in Eddie’s arms. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“Don’t feel like you need to move on my account,” Eddie said.

“You don’t…feel like this is being a tease?” Buck asked.

“If I didn’t want to be with you like this, Buck, I wouldn’t be. I’m fine with this. I promise you. Are you okay with this?”

“What do you mean?

“Well, there are some who don’t like to be in positions like this with someone they are not attracted to. They don’t take it platonically.”

“Ah, no, dude. I’ve slept in the back of a van with four people before. I’m fine. Getting around the country was sometimes a little work down in Peru.”

“You didn’t take the Jeep?”

“Nah, parked it in a long-term storage place and paid for a year before going down to Peru.”

“How did you end up in Peru?”

“Well, I wasn’t aiming for Peru. I was actually aiming for Mexico and then just kept on going south. I met up with these traders who sell their wares up and down Mexico and were heading into South America. I went as far as Peru with them and just stayed. Then on their way back up, I went with them again until they dropped me where I could get to Texas again.”

“Sounds like you had a lot of good years between high school and ending up here.”

“Yeah, I never thought that I would find where I belonged or find a family that loved me for who I was. As much as we can have issues, the 118 is my family. We love each other as much as some days we hate each other.”

“You didn’t have any friends growing up?”

“Not really. A few I would make but never let them get close. I didn’t like to invite them home. I only had Maddie, and then she was gone, and I tried out for the football team, and my parents found out that I had signed the paper instead of having them do it. My mother refused to even entertain me playing. She was afraid I would be hurt. Which I kind of get now, but I was raised in a bubble, and it’s why I think I’m as much of a daredevil as I am. The only time I could get my father’s attention was when I was acting out. I never got much from my mother.”

“I never doubt that my parents love me. They might think that they have their reasons for trying to get me to do what they want, but I know they love me.”

“Maddie lost her best friend. She told me that was who Daniel was, her best friend in the world. I lost my parents before ever knowing what I could have with them. It wasn’t even until I was here and seeing Chim with the Lees, seeing how Bobby acts to all of us, seeing Hen and Karen with Denny. Athena and Michael with May and Harry. I learned right then what I had really missed. I was the kind of kid you didn’t take home to your parents. I was trouble without it going into the line of needing cops to get involved, and it was only luck I never went that way to get attention.”

“His death changed a lot for Maddie, but she had years to get her grasp on it. You are still reeling.”

Buck didn’t know what to say to that, so he just stayed silent.

“Dad?” Chris called out.

“He woke up early,” Eddie said. He tightened his hold on Buck for a backward hug before he let go and got up. He opened the door and slipped into the hallway to greet his son.

Buck wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. It had been a while since he had a nightmare. He grabbed the phone and unlocked it to check what was going on in the world. He dismissed the emails to look at later and checked the notifications from various apps to make sure he wasn’t missing much from it. There wasn’t a lot he cared about on there. He dismissed everything and decided that he was awake enough to get up.

Eddie and Chris were in the kitchen. Eddie had the stuff for pancakes out and was working on getting it measured out so Buck could make them.

“Daddy, I want fruit as well, please,” Chris asked.

“Sure, I’ll get on that as soon as I get Buck up,” Eddie said.

“I’m up. I just need a cup of coffee in me, and I’ll be fine.” Buck walked over and grabbed the carafe, and got himself a cup. He snagged the sugar and dropped a single cube in there, and then poured in the creamer he needed. He looked at Chris, who was sitting at the table reading. The Kindle that Buck had bought him was a lifesaver on space in Chris’ room but also made it easier when Chris wanted to read bigger books that he sometimes had issues holding for as long as he wanted to read.

“Daddy said you had a nightmare, Bucky. Did he help you?” Chris asked.

“He did. He made sure I got some sleep so I could deal with you all day long,” Buck said.

Chris laughed and stuck his tongue out at Buck. Buck stuck his tongue out at him as well, and he even did it to Eddie when Eddie laughed.

“So, what do you want to do today, mijo?” Eddie asked.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Buck?”

“I think we should head to the park. Get some sun and some fun in there.”

“Oh, that would be fun,” Eddie said.

“Yeah. Park,” Chris said.

“Okay, then park it is.”

Buck focused on his coffee, drinking a good bit of it before he felt like he could get himself there enough to make the pancakes. They wouldn’t be heading to the park until closer to lunch. Buck had time to head to the store and get a few things.

After getting the first pancake into the skillet, he filled a pan with water and set it to a boil.

“Pasta or macaroni salad?” Buck asked.

“Macaroni!” Chris answered.


“Can you do that one you did for that party next door?” Eddie asked.

“Oh, sure. I liked that too.” Buck went over in his head if they had everything for that, and he was sure that they did. He would have to cut up many things, but it would keep him entertained over the morning.

“Want me to start a list?” Eddie asked.

“Yes, please.” Buck rattled off what he knew he needed for sandwiches. He checked the cabinets for the stuff for the macaroni salad, and he was happy that he had most of it already. What he didn’t have could be added easily after he got back without an issue of the taste being messed up.

“Do you want me to go to the store after we eat breakfast?”

“Oh, that would be great. Do you mind?” Buck asked.

“You are cooking; the least I can do is go to the store. Did you want to come, Chris?”

“No, I wanna read. I’m at a really good part in the book.”

Buck was glad that Chris didn’t mind staying with him while his father went out. It made Buck feel warm inside. These two, Maddie, and the 118, were his family. No one else really mattered.

Lunch was a lovely spread on a thick blanket in the park. Buck had bought the blanket just for picnics, even if most of them had been in the backyard of the house before now. It was nice to be out with Eddie at the park. Chris was on the swing, enjoying the attention from Eddie as he pushed him. Chris was good on the swing as long as one of them was right there. Buck looked down at the book in his lap and then decided to lay down on his side and read. Just being outside was what he wanted right now. He didn’t care that he could be doing something.

Eddie turned around and locked eyes with Buck, and smiled at him. Eddie gave a grin before he turned back to Chris.

The park was full of families, and Buck enjoyed listening to them while he read. He turned a page in his book as Eddie sat down on the blanket again. Buck looked up at him with a frown. Chris wasn’t with him.

“He’s over there playing with blocks.” Eddie pointed, and Buck followed where he was pointing.

Chris was sitting over on a large flat area with a group of kids, and they were all playing with blocks.

“Well, we picked a good day, didn’t we?” Buck asked.

“Yeah. So I wanted to talk to you about this morning.”

“Eddie, it’s fine.”

“I just want to make sure. I know that you aren’t the biggest fan of being comforted.”

“Who told you that?”

“Chim. He said that you liked to lick your wounds in peace.”

“I do. It’s all I’ve ever known. Abby worked some to get me out of my shell and allow people to help me, but I still have issues. That’s nothing like this, though. I don’t mind private stuff.”

“Okay. I have nightmares as well, and I just did what I like to have done to me.”

“Does that mean if I hear you in a nightmare, I should cuddle you?” Buck wasn’t sure it was what Eddie was asking, but he wouldn’t mind doing it. Nightmares sucked. Buck really hadn’t started to have them until he had started at the Academy. The world had crashed down on him about what his new job was going to entail.

“Well, maybe wake me up instead but after that, yes. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You might come up swinging?”

“No,” Eddie said. He cocked his head to the side before he laid down like Buck was laying, head propped on his hand. “I grabbed Shannon once. My father found the bruises and tried to shame me for hurting her, but she agreed that it was her fault since she knew I was in the middle of a horrible nightmare.”

“Well, bruises are not a big issue for me. I will take that if it means helping you. I won’t let you hurt me in a bad way. Bruises are nothing.”

“I’ve made sure Chris knows to just throw things at me. He got me once with seventeen stuffed animals just after we got here to LA.”

“Really?” Buck asked.

“Yeah. He was in the doorway throwing them at me. I slept through most of them. Until one landed just right, and an eye cracked me on the head. You are more than welcome to throw stuffed animals at me,” Eddie said.


“I worked through it, but the smallest thing can make me think of it while my brain processes the day. I don’t mind being woken up, though. Me having someone in bed afterward usually stops a nightmare again, but sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s why I don’t want Chris in bed with me.”

“Oh, I get that. So you said you were going to your Abuela’s tomorrow. Did you want me to watch Chris?” Buck asked. He didn’t really want to keep on talking about the nightmares. He had been more than okay with Eddie being in bed with him. He had felt safe for the first time in a long while with that.

Maddie hadn’t ever crawled into bed like that with him, but then as a kid, he didn’t have nightmares. Other than his parents being distant, Buck hadn’t had a horrible childhood. He wasn’t abused, and he didn’t have to fear his house.

“You okay?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, sorry, I was thinking deep thoughts.”

“I said that you are coming with us. It’s a meal, Buck.”

“Oh, why?”

“Why what?” Eddie asked.

“Why am I going?”

“Well, I could be a smart ass and say that you were invited, but Abuela already told me that if you are living under my roof, you are family and not to fight her on that. So I’m not going to. She wants to meet the man I’m living with right now.”

“She knows we aren’t together, right?”

“Oh, yes. She knows.”

“DAD!” Christopher yelled.

Buck looked over at him to see that whatever they were making was all done.


“Let’s go,” Eddie said as he pushed himself up to his feet.

Buck followed along behind him, snagging a bottle of water for Chris as he went. It wasn’t too hot out, but Chris hadn’t drunk a lot with lunch, so a little more water wasn’t going to hurt him. Buck crouched at Chris’s side while Eddie took a picture. All of the kids were talking over themselves to explain their parts of the castle.

Eddie whistled sharp and loud to stop the kids. “One at a time.”

Chris laughed and leaned into Buck. Buck wrapped his arm around Chris’ shoulder and kept him close to him. He could do with some cuddles since it seemed as if the nightmare wasn’t fully shaken off of him. The two Diaz men were helping him find his way in the world when he felt lost; he hoped he could return that favor someday.

The End

I write fanfiction for fun. It’s a hobby and a stress relief. I refuse to stress over my writing. What you see is what you get. Errors, plot holes, and all. Thank you for reading my story!

Join me on Discord in one of the two main servers I am part of. Just Write is a working server for those who write. We have sprinting channels and a whole bunch of other channels to make it the one-stop-shop for writers. Crossroads is a multi-fandom social server. Come and check them out if you are over the age of 18. They are adult-only servers!

2 thoughts on “Spiral

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