Title: Going Deeper
Series: Of Bondage, Kink, Love, and Fires
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Characters: Evan “Buck” Buckley, Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz, Josephina “Pepa” Diaz
Tags: BDSM, RACK, Dom!Buck, Sub!Eddie, Established Relationship
Summary: Eddie’s going deeper into his sexual relationship with Buck while Buck meets up with Tia Pepa out in the environs of LA.
Word Count: 7,732
Year: Season 2 (2018)
Spoilers: Everything Aired
Notes: I have gratefully borrowed Tollan Creme from Keira Marcos.
Eddie tugged on the bindings on his wrists, and he closed his eyes, even though it didn’t do anything. The blindfold on his eyes was very, very good at keeping out any light. Buck wasn’t touching him right now; in fact, he wasn’t even on the bed. He had hooked up Eddie and then left him there while he went to shower. Eddie inhaled and exhaled, finding himself being more and more centered. This was what he had wanted. He had asked for this, and Buck had been more than willing to indulge him. Chris was at school, and they had just gotten off shift. They were looking at four days off before going back to work, and Eddie told Buck he wanted to feel it. Eddie just hadn’t realized that Buck would torture him this way.
The only sound that Eddie could focus on was the shower running. He knew what Buck wanted, and Eddie was all for it. He was so focused on the sound of the shower that his cock jerked when the water shut off. He had been hard since Buck had left him on the bed after kissing him and touching him while still dressed. It had been so good to feel Buck on top of him while he was bound to the bed and sightless. Being restrained was something that Eddie loved. He hadn’t done it often, though, as he didn’t typically have the time, or he didn’t trust the person with him enough. So when Buck had pulled out the padded leather cuffs and had them on the bed when Eddie came into the room, he had nearly fallen on his knees and begged right then.
Buck had taken his time getting Eddie out of his clothes as he walked him back to the bed and shoved him down onto it when he was naked. Eddie had looked up at Buck and seen the glint to his eyes that said that Eddie would enjoy the hell out of this and beg for more. Eddie hadn’t figured out this part, though.
“Green, Buck,” Eddie said.
Buck hummed, and then there was a touch to Eddie’s foot, just a barely-there brush of fingers over the top of his foot. The next touch was on Eddie’s ankle. Then a lone finger up Eddie’s leg until Buck could wrap his fingers around Eddie’s cock. It was all he did. He didn’t even stroke, just held the cock there.
Eddie whined and moved to where he could get some kind of friction on his cock. As soon as he did, Buck’s hand disappeared.
“I was in the shower thinking about what I wanted to do to you. You showered at work. Otherwise, I would have started this all in there while washing you.”
Eddie gasped at the picture of that. Them in the shower wasn’t a big thing. They did it nearly every time they met for this. Buck liked to check Eddie over even if Buck just held his partner down and fucked him. It made Eddie feel like Buck really cared for him. Eddie knew that the man liked him as a friend. He just never had a Dom who had made Eddie feel like he was fully the center of their world.
“We are home alone, and I wanted something a little different, which is why we are in the bedroom, not the basement. Is there anything you want we haven’t discussed on the way home?”
“No,” Eddie said. He bit off the word Sir. He was trying to be good. The word hadn’t been part of their scenes until Eddie let it slip and Buck had stopped. Buck didn’t really like it. He would rather be called Buck in a scene and out of it. It didn’t give them a divide, but Eddie knew when Buck was being a Dom and when he was just being Buck. Eddie didn’t mind at all just calling him Buck, but he had called all of his Doms before this Sir, and it was a change.
Buck hadn’t punished him for any of the things the word slipped through as he knew it was going to take time.
“You are already leaking; you were just from being bound to the bed and blinded.”
“The thoughts of you in the shower, Buck,” Eddie said.
“Hmm, that is a very pretty sight, almost as good as you in the shower, wet and needy. You are needy right now, aren’t you?” Buck asked.
“Yes,” Eddie said.
“Good. Now, roll over and lay flat,” Buck said.
Eddie did as Buck asked. Buck had hooked him up so that he could easily roll over if he needed, the cuffs being hooked to a single point instead of each side of the bed. The feel of the bed under him had Eddie groaning. The sheets were soft and slick and rubbed so well on his cock.
The smack came out of nowhere, and Eddie stilled.
“No humping the bed, Eddie.” Buck got on the bed behind Eddie, straddling his thighs. “At least not until I actually get you where I want you.”
Eddie said nothing. He just wanted to get off already. He had no idea what Buck had planned, but he had a feeling it was going to take a while.
Buck leaned up and kissed down Eddie’s back, all the way to the swell of his ass. It was tender and loving, and then there was another smack on Eddie’s other cheek. The pain was there, but it melded into something that sent electricity down Eddie’s nerves.
“Verde,” Eddie gasped as he curled his hands into fists to control himself. He wanted to buck up into the next spank. He knew that he wasn’t allowed to do that.
“Spanish?” Buck asked.
Eddie went over what he said, and he nodded. He had done that only once to Buck, the last time they played, and it wasn’t a huge deal.
“Good.” Buck got off the bed, and Eddie didn’t hold in the whine. “Oh, you’ll be whining even more soon. So just keep that.” The slide of a drawer accompanied Buck leaving him, and then there was a rattle of a package of some kind.
The next thing that happened was Buck spreading his legs to get between them. Eddie pressed his face down into the bed and waited for slick fingers or slick something else. He felt slick, but he wasn’t sure what it was until it started to push into him. It wasn’t a large plug, but it was just big enough there was a stretch as it pushed into him. Once he was used to it, the plug was all the way inside of him, and it was pretty fucking small. The inside part still brushed over his prostate, and that had Eddie groaning.
“Yeah, I know. You love having a cock inside of you, but for right now, it’ll be just this.” Buck kissed just above Eddie’s ass, and then he moved Eddie to suit what he wanted.
A finger and then a hand trailed over the meat of his ass, and Eddie wasn’t sure what Buck had planned. It wasn’t until Eddie realized that Buck was checking his ass that Eddie knew.
The sexual relationship between them was mostly centered around their kinks. Their relationship outside of the bedroom was about getting to know each other. To build something they thought they could live with, they agreed to merge the two after some time. It was just like this here. Buck knew what Eddie wanted, what Eddie liked, and what he needed, but he didn’t jump into the harder aspects, the deeper kinks right off. He got to know what Eddie sounded like at all parts before he added new layers.
Eddie jumped at the first heavy smack, and he heard the way it echoed around the room, giving Eddie the idea that Buck was doing this here for the sound as much as the comfort of the bed they had shared only a few times so far.
“Hmm, that won’t do.” Buck got off the bed, and Eddie tried to track him around the room, but he could not until a drawer opened on the far side. Eddie knew that Buck kept most of his sleeping clothes, but there was a single drawer of other items.
“Up a little,” Buck said, touching Eddie’s side.
Eddie pushed up with his legs and waited to figure out what Buck was doing. The wrapping of leather around his thigh told Eddie what it was. Buck took his time to make sure that Eddie couldn’t move more than he wanted him to. His lower half was fixed to the bed so well that Eddie didn’t think he could move at all other than to wiggle his ass. He did that as he tested to make sure nothing would hurt if he moved.
“Perfect,” Eddie said when he could speak. Buck could do anything to him in this position.
“Safeword?” Buck asked.
“Chris,” Eddie said. They used the light system more than anything, but the check of the safeword meant that Eddie knew that he could back out at any point in this.
“Good. Now feel free to beg all you want. It’s not gonna change what I do, but it will sound oh so sweet.”
Eddie wasn’t sure what Buck meant, and then the plug inside of him started to vibrate. It was low and subtle, but it was there and right on his prostate. He jerked, the bindings holding him in place with ease. He tried to move again but found himself held still and the plug was just there, not stopping.
The crack of a hand over his ass was almost an afterthought to Eddie, who was still trying to hold on with the plug in him. The second had the pain taking his mind off that but just to focus on how his body was singing from the stimulation of the pain, the way it turned to pleasure in his head and then just made him even more aroused.
Eddie was floating in a haze of lust, arousal, pain, and just naked want when the plug finally stopped. His ass was on fire but in the very fucking best way. The snap of a cap had Eddie hoping that meant the plug was leaving him, and he was going to get fucked.
But the feeling never came. Instead, Buck got off the bed and walked around to Eddie’s head. The sound of feet on carpet told Eddie where he was, something Buck did on purpose.
The blindfold was removed, and Eddie blinked a few times. The lights were nice and low to where it didn’t hurt his eyes. Buck was rubbing his hands together, focusing on his palms. Buck had used the Tollan Cream on his hands to get rid of the pain from using them for spanking Eddie.
“Water or drink?”
“Drink, ” Eddie said. He wanted something more than just water on his tongue. He smacked his lips, and then there was a straw there. Eddie took a few careful sips and then a few more before he let go of the straw. Buck took a drink for himself before he set it down. Eddie really liked whatever drinks Buck bought. It wasn’t something that Eddie had seen before, but he had never gone looking at sports drinks and figured them out. He just bought Gatorade, and in the two flavors, he liked. He wasn’t sure where to even look for the stuff that Buck bought. He wasn’t above finding it, though. Chris hated Gatorade. He might really like this stuff.
“More?” Buck asked.
Eddie nodded his head so the straw was back in front of his face. He got his arms under a little and pushed up to where he could drink a little easier. He didn’t drink too much as he knew that a belly full of liquids wasn’t always the best. Eddie dropped the straw a few sips later. He dropped back down to the bed and hissed as the plug shifted inside of him, almost like a reminder that it was still going.
“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.” Buck picked up his phone, and the plug jumped up to where Eddie could barely stop himself from coming as it went from zero to sixty.
“Let go,” Buck said.
Eddie came, his body slumping down. Buck’s hand was right there holding him up to put a firm pillow under his chest and neck, so he wasn’t hurting his neck. The plug lowered but only by about half. Eddie was feeling his body screaming at the overstimulation, but he didn’t care. It felt too good to him right now.
“I’m gonna let you go,” Buck said.
Eddie shook his head, non-verbal, but he didn’t want it.
“Not all of you. I want your mouth on me, Eddie.” Buck was gentle as he removed the cuffs from Eddie’s wrists, rubbing at the skin there to make sure it wasn’t too bad off with Eddie twisting and jerking in them.
Eddie felt cream being applied before Buck was there. His hard cock nudging at Eddie’s lips. Eddie opened his mouth, but his focus was fully on his ass and the feelings that the plug was giving him. Buck, it seemed, had no cares as he just started to fuck Eddie’s mouth, careful and sure, just like always. There was the feel of a cock nudging down his throat, and it was the only thing that made Eddie pay attention to his mouth.
“You were biting your lip the other day while we were working on that puzzle at the station, making them all puffy and red. I remembered what you looked like the night you told me you wanted to suck my cock for hours. You made it a while before you couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve been thinking of this since we were at work.”
Eddie hummed, setting about actually sucking on Buck’s cock as it thrust into his mouth again. Eddie was all for this. He was more than happy to suck on Buck’s cock for as long as he could.
“And then there was this,” Buck said. He twisted, and Eddie couldn’t see what he did, but he knew as soon as the plug moved up a notch again in speed.
It became a game; when Eddie recovered enough from the sensation of the plug to participate in the blowjob, Buck turned it up one. Until Eddie could not do anything but take the abuse on his prostate and keep his lips wrapped around Buck’s cock.
“That’s it,” Buck said. He thrust all the way into Eddie’s mouth, but he didn’t come; he just stayed there a few seconds before pulling all the way out. He backed off enough to where he could help Eddie get settled on his elbows.
The plug slowly started to throttle down to where it was where it had been before.
“Eddie, condom?” Buck asked.
“No,” Eddie answered, shocked he was even able to speak that little bit. He wanted to feel Buck inside of him, leaking out of him. He wasn’t sure what he wanted beyond that.
“Okay then.” Buck got on the bed again, putting his groin snug with Eddie’s ass. “Your ass is still so red. I can feel the heat of it.”
A smack landed, and Eddie gripped the bedding under his hands. He moaned at the feel of it. The plug was pulled out slowly, centimeter by centimeter to where Eddie felt his muscles give as the largest part of the plug was tugged out of his body. Even though it had been smaller than anything else Eddie had in him in a while, he felt empty when it was gone.
Buck teased the head of his cock over Eddie’s opening before he pushed the head inside just long enough for Eddie to notice, and then he pulled out again.
“I can see how much you are trying to stay still, even though we both know that you can’t move the lower half of your body at all. You want to thrust back, impale yourself on my cock don’t you?”
“Yes, please, fuck me.”
“You ask so nicely,” Buck said. He teased Eddie again with the head of his cock, but this time he kept the head inside but didn’t move any further. “But I want something nicer.”
“Buck, please, just fuck me.” Eddie wasn’t sure what more Buck wanted. “Split my ass with your cock. Make me feel your cock in my throat.”
“Oh, but I already did that, and you moaned like a nice little whore,” Buck said.
“That’s cause I am,” Eddie said. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead into the bed. “I’m your whore. You can do anything you want to me.”
Buck pushed in, from just the head to where his groin slapped against Eddie’s red ass cheeks. He stayed there, pressing on the skin until he pulled back again what felt like minutes later. Eddie was happy that his legs were pretty well strapped to the bed because he would not be able to stay in place at all with how hard and fast that Buck was fucking him. It felt so damned good that Eddie didn’t even want to have to deal with staying still.
“Now you sound like a whore,” Buck said.
Eddie nodded his head. He knew the sounds he was making. He had been recorded before, and he did sound like he was getting the best fuck of his life.
Buck reached around Eddie and touched his cock, which was still soft. “Hmm, I guess we need to do something about that.” Buck shifted to where he was more stable on the bed and began to slowly thrust. It rubbed his cock all over Eddie’s prostate in all the right ways.
Eddie looked down to see his cock start to get hard again. Buck groaned as Eddie shuddered as his body was getting more and more into this.
“Do you think I could make you come a third time?’
Eddie shook his head. He had only come once so far. He didn’t want a third. He barely wanted the second. He would do it if Buck wanted it. He would do anything for Buck.
“Yeah, I think we can do that.” Buck started to fuck him again, keeping the angle the exact same so that he was getting Eddie closer and closer to orgasm with every single thrust.
Eddie came, and his body started to shake. He wanted so much more, but he was going to die before he got there.
“You can do it. You can get through it.”
“Please,” Eddie said.
“Color?” Buck asked as he paused in his thrusts.
“Green. Maldito verde,” Eddie said.
“So good for me,” Buck cooed.
Eddie was just lust. That was all he was. His body was in another realm, and he was just floating as Buck fucked him. He wanted to just stay like he was forever. Never come up for air; just be right here like this.
The world whited out for Eddie, and he wasn’t sure what was going on until he felt Buck touching him all over. There was something hot and wet that followed some of the touches. The world came back slowly as Eddie lay on his side. He felt cold, but that disappeared as his skin dried from being cleaned up.
“You went deep,” Buck said.
“How long?” Eddie asked, his voice cracked.
“Be gentle on your voice. I’ve got hot tea downstairs for you. I’ll get it in a few. Some tea and honey, and you won’t sound like you were tortured anymore.”
Eddie nuzzled the hand that touched his face. He kissed the palm as it pulled away.
“You were under for about an hour, but you didn’t mind me slipping away for a few minutes at a time. I just started to clean you up when I found you coming back to me.”
Eddie nodded. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was on his side on the bed with Buck sitting in front of him. “Tea, please.”
“Of course.” Buck stood up, and he snagged a blanket and wrapped it around Eddie, almost tucking him in. The blanket smelled of Buck, which helped keep Eddie just under, and he was happy about that.
Eddie let himself kind of doze off until Buck came back with a tray that had tea as well as what looked like a snack on it. Buck even had a tea cozy over the pot of tea. It looked like something out of a movie where the male lead tried to impress the female love interest. It was doing strange things to Eddie’s stomach, as it were.
Buck set the tray on the floor before he stepped up to the bed and held Eddie sit up, but he didn’t put Eddie at the headboard. Eddie frowned until he watched Buck at the tray over Eddie’s lap then crawl in behind Eddie. Buck drew Eddie back to lean against him and then snugged the tray up closer. There were a few sweets on the tray. Eddie wiggled a little, and his ass started to ache. He would want the cream as soon as possible.
“Yeah, my butt hurts a little bit but not a lot,” Eddie said.
“Once I get some drink and food into you, we can get some cream on your ass. It was still pretty cherry red when I tipped you onto your side.”
“It was good,” Eddie said. He picked up the cup that was only half full and took a sip. It was sweeter than he liked, but he knew it was the honey. He would drink it and be happy about it. Buck was making sure he didn’t lose his voice. It would be really bad if he did. He hoped the second cup did not have honey in it, well, the pot as a whole. Eddie was the strange one in the family in that he didn’t like sweet tea. His sisters made fun of him for it. He didn’t really care. He liked what he liked.
“How do you feel?”
“Good. I want skin-to-skin contact, though.”
“That’s fine. We can get into the shower and clean up and then go downstairs and inhabit the same space for a while if you want.”
“Chris wants to do a sleepover again soon,” Eddie said. He wasn’t sure that Buck would be up for that. They had been around a lot. Chris really just loved Buck’s house and being around Buck in general. Eddie was pretty sure that if Chris had his way, Eddie and he would move into Buck’s place and never leave. Which was okay; Eddie was sure that one day it would happen. The kink meshed well so far, and Eddie wanted out of the dungeon Buck like burning.
In all reality, Eddie would do a lot to make sure that he stayed with someone who treated Chris like Buck did. He really loved how Buck was with him. Buck would be a great father one day; he just wasn’t as sure of himself about how good of a father he would be. Eddie hoped that Buck felt better about that after being around Christopher more.
“Well, then we can go to your place and pack and do a sleepover here over the next few days. Take a little vacation from home and settle in here.”
Eddie nodded his head in agreement as he took another sip of his tea; it was making his throat feel better. He relaxed back into Buck a little more and enjoyed the warmth of his body.
Buck looked up from his book when someone sat down across from him. He cocked his head to the side and took in the woman. He knew that he had seen her before. He just couldn’t place where until she gave him a smile. Buck knew that smile.
“Tia Pepa,” Buck said.
“You are very good, Evan Buckley,” Pepa said.
“Ah, so this is the shovel talk.”
“No, it’s me wanting to get to know the man my nephew is subbing for. Most of the family doesn’t know anything about this part of my life. I have my reasons for it, but I realized early on what Eddie was and needed. I would never deny him what he needed to get better.”
“I was about to go down the street to get some lunch.”
“You are not with Eddie today?”
“No. It’s an Eddie and Chris day. Once during the four days off rotation, it’s just them for a day. I wasn’t even there last night. Last time, they took over my living room since they were staying with me, and so I went out on the town and got some errands done.”
“They stayed with you?” Pepa asked.
“Yes,” Buck said.
Pepa gave Buck a strange look, but Buck didn’t really care that much. He knew that Eddie loved his family but that he would easily throw them off and do what he wanted if they disagreed. He married Shannon and had a kid with her despite his parents hating her. Buck wasn’t sure what kind of relationship Pepa and Eddie’s Abuela had with Shannon, but at least Pepa didn’t seem to hate him. Though that could still change at any given point. Buck had met Eddie’s Abuela just once and seen her more than a few times when he was with Eddie to pick up Chris after a shift when Chris was staying with her. Buck wasn’t averse to meeting the family, but he was hesitant since he really couldn’t offer the same. He wasn’t ever going to willingly subject Eddie or Chris to his parents, and Maddie still wasn’t talking to him.
The last letter that Buck had sent her had come back three days ago with no forwarding address and a note she had moved. Buck had bought a journal of sorts that he started to write in instead of letters. He didn’t want Maddie to miss anything in his life. He had been keeping mention of everything to do with Eddie out of the letters until recently. He had kept everything BDSM-related out for Maddie’s sake.
“You look upset,” Pepa said.
“Oh, just thinking about something is all.” Buck picked up his coffee and finished it off. He stuffed his book down into the bag at his feet and looked at the coffee on the table in front of Pepa. “The thing about lunch was an offer for you to join me.”
“I got that, but I haven’t decided yet. I guess I am just trying to figure out why you want to eat lunch with me without my Sobrino around.”
“Well, if you don’t join me, I don’t really care. You sat down to talk to me, or you would have moved on, so I figured that you would want to keep on since you’ve not really had the chance to learn anything about me. I’m leaving to go eat before my stomach decides that it needs to serenade the whole shop. You can ask Eddie how loud it gets when I’m hungry.”
“I see. Well then, I will gladly join you. Where are we going?”
“It’s within walking distance. The little bistro has an outside patio on the roof for eating. I love to sit up there. Less chance of me seeing something that I will feel like I need to deal with.”
“Eddie likes to sit with his back to things like that. So I understand that urge. Well, I have tea in this, and I can take it with me since I plan to leave anyway. You can come shopping with me after lunch since you are intruding on my shopping time.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Buck said. He stood up, lifting up his bag as he did. He hung it off one shoulder instead of putting it crossbody like he normally did. Pepa eyed the bag. “I was going to do a little shopping afterward as well. Some of my purchases can easily go into here. I have the Jeep parked close enough that bigger things I can drop off before heading to the next shop if needed.”
“What kind of shopping?”
“I am not sure that I want to answer that,” Buck said. He was thinking about the room at his place that Chris had kind of taken over. Buck had more than enough guest rooms as he had planned on not living alone really when he bought the house but then things had changed some the moment he met Eddie. He didn’t want his place to ever be a place that Eddie didn’t want to come to and feel like he had to ask.
Pepa eyed Buck, and Buck just stood there and took it.
“Eddie told me that he thought you might be someone he could be with, in both ways of his life. I guess you wanting to buy things for Christopher means that he’s not wrong.”
“I don’t want them to feel like they aren’t welcome at my house.”
“You have a house?” Pepa asked.
“Yes, I do. I bought it with some money I came into. We play in the basement and then most of the time sleep in the bedroom.”
“That’s good that you mostly have the things separate. I know that things will bleed over either direction.”
Buck nodded. He waved for Pepa to go first. He wasn’t going to be called ungentlemanly for going first. Pepa stepped out of the shop, and she inhaled a little before smiling. When Buck stepped up beside her, she looped her arm through his and then gave him a look that said: “lead on.” So Buck turned them a little to head to the restaurant.
“Buck, morning. Good morning, Ma’am,” Jeffrey said as soon as he spotted them when they got into the restaurant. “Normal seating?”
“Then head on up. I’ll be up there to get your order as soon as possible.”
“Hot tea for me,” Buck said.
“Oh, what kind are you getting?”
“They have an Earl Grey with rose here that is lovely,” Buck said.
“A large pot then, with plenty of sugar on the side.”
“Don’t worry, I was going to, ma’am. Buck doesn’t take sugar in his tea,” Jeffrey said.
Pepa turned to give Buck a look.
“Sorry, I don’t.”
“You and Eddie are just perfect for each other,” Pepa said.
“Oh, I see, so the tea without sugar is not a family trait?”
“Not on our side, it’s not. I still don’t know if he gets that from the other side.”
Buck laughed and started to escort Pepa up to where he normally sat. The table was empty, just like it usually was.
“This is a lovely seat; how come it’s still open?” Pepa asked as Buck pulled her seat out.
“I let Jeffrey know that I was coming this way around this time. I’m frequent enough here that they save it for me if they know I am coming. I just really like this place for all meals of the day.”
“I saw it’s open twenty-four hours, and it’s not too far from the station.”
“No, it’s mostly kept in business at night by first responders and a few people who are eating to sober up some before heading home in an Uber or taxi.”
Pepa picked up the menu that was on the table, and she looked at it. She looked around like she was looking for a second.
“You pick what you want, and I’ll check what I need to check while you are ordering. Their menu changes weekly, and I’ve not been here this week; that’s why there is a menu on the table.”
“So you come here often then.”
“At least twice during my four days off. Chris loves the waffles here. I brought them last week.”
“You are a good man, Buck. Eddie never told me why you don’t like the name of Evan.”
“He doesn’t know all of it, really. There were two other Evans in my class at the Academy, so I started to go by Buck since one of the others didn’t have a last name that did so well as a name to call him. It’s Polish, and so Evan was best for him. The other guy already had a nickname from sports, so I shortened my last name to Buck, and I just started to really like it. So I just kept it after leaving there. I spent a long time figuring out who I am, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do with my life. Which started with me going up and down the Eastern seaboard. I slept in my Jeep a lot the first few months and saved up what money I made from jobs here and there. It was pretty easy for me to do that. I spent years trying to figure out who Evan was that I didn’t consider that I’m not really Evan.”
“You are young, and yet you have a lot of anger in you.”
“Anger, yes, but I let it go. It just crops up when the past is talked about. My family life wasn’t the best. I wasn’t physically abused by my parents, just neglected and also inside of a bubble at the same time.”
“Ah, your need to control your life, and getting out of their shadows built the Dom you are,” Pepa said. She handed the menu over.
Buck looked at the food and the various things that changed weekly based on local produce and meat products they could get. He saw that smashed potatoes were on there, and he was more than hyped for that.
“Well, when one of the first people to help me figure this out sent me to therapy before allowing me to top a Sub, I realized what caused most of it, and I’m fine. I still sort of see a therapist. Which is the only good thing, really, as I was set to see a new one affiliated with the LAFD, and things nearly went south with that. She sought me out in public before I was her patient, and I slept with her. Knew her first name, and that was it. I was a good Dom, but my life was a little bit of a wreck outside of it. I had a phase where I thought I might have become addicted to sex; Bobby sent me for help. It ended up being the woman I slept with. She knew who I was, and she had still taken me on as a patient. I knew that something was wrong as you; one should never do that. So I kept the meeting, reported her, and I ended up with a settlement.”
“Gracias a Dios por eso,” Pepa muttered.
“Hmm, yes. It also was good as there were other issues on that. So I got ahold of the other therapist from before I came to LA over the phone until we could find someone for me to talk to here.”
“So you kept the appointment even though you knew that it was wrong on her part?”
“I needed proof. I couldn’t just leave as that would mean that she could say that she would send me to someone else. I’m pretty innocent with some things, but that one I knew. I was more than happy to take that one for the team, as it were. There was a lot of shit that came up over all of that, and in the end, things were better with that. I had a few things where I needed to get things out of my head.”
“You have a level head for someone so young,” Pepa said.
“I was on my own for a long time before I settled here. I didn’t have my sister, my parents.”
“Why didn’t you have your sister?”
“There is a lot of shit that went on in my life. I didn’t see my sister until I was an adult, and I didn’t notice when I was younger that-” Buck stopped when Jeffrey came up to the table with two different teapots and two mugs.
Buck let Pepa order first, and then he did as well. He fixed up his tea next, just a touch of cream in the first cup, and then after that, he didn’t usually add anything.
“My sister’s boyfriend just rubbed me wrong, but I never understood why he did. Then I figured it out, and I did something about it. I forced a case against her abusive husband. She never really forgave me for it. To her, I was supposed to stay away from it all. She was trying to protect me from it. A lot of things happened, but in the end, she chose to pretty much cut contact with me after it all because she didn’t like this part of my life. She was still too close to being abused for years to see my chosen sexual lifestyle as anything but abusive. I’ve mailed her letters to let her know how I am doing. The last has come back.”
“So your parents were not part of your life, and then your sister left you. She had her reasons, but she still left you alone with them.”
“Everyone is shaped by their parents. My brother is a hard man who cannot understand his son. He would never understand this part of his life. He would never understand anything to do with letting go. He’s created Eddie for good or for ill. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.”
“I try,” Buck said.
Pepa smiled at Buck, and she brought up Christopher’s new school and how he was doing there. Buck settled more into his skin as he talked to her about Chris and his love of learning before they headed out to pick up some things for Chris’ room.
Buck heard the door to the house shut. He frowned and looked at the time on his watch. It was just after five, and as far as he knew, no one was coming over. He tried to rack his brain to see if he had agreed to something with someone from the 118. He stood up, dropping the screwdriver he was using on the bookshelf onto the bed before leaving the room. He was shirtless from sweating and had the house a little cooler so that he didn’t get too hot.
“BUCK!” Chris said as soon as Buck appeared at the top of the stairs.
“Hey, my favorite Diaz,” Buck said. He smiled at Chris and started down the stairs. He snagged the shirt hanging on the railing, putting it on as he looked at Eddie. “What’s up? Did something happen?”
“No, we just went to pick up tacos from that truck that Chris likes, and well, your favorite ones were on there, and so Chris wanted to make sure you got some. I just decided that we would eat dinner with you.”
“Oh,” Buck said.
“Is that okay?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah, I just thought it was your day with Chris.”
“It is, and I chose to come and eat dinner with you.”
Buck wasn’t sure what to say to that, but he swallowed. Eddie was walking toward the kitchen, and he stopped just inside the doorway.
“Dad?” Chris asked.
Buck walked to the kitchen and slipped past Eddie, grabbing the food as he did. The parts would need to be warmed up since the truck was great because they package stuff separately to allow for reheating when people got to-go orders.
“OH! Tia Pepa’s brown sugar cinnamon coffee cake!” Chris said as he came into the room.
Buck looked at Chris and could see he was just excited to see it. Eddie still looked shocked to see it.
“Wait, how did you get that?” Chris asked.
“We made it together earlier. I met her when I was out shopping. She forced herself over here to teach me this. Said that it was like your guys’ favorite for breakfast. I was going to bring it over in the morning.”
“It’s our favorite dessert period,” Eddie said.
“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing I know how to make it, right?”
“She’s never shared that with anyone. Not even my mother or my sisters,” Eddie said.
Buck nearly dropped the cookie sheet he was getting ready to lay the tortillas on.
“Well, I didn’t ask. She bought the stuff that she was sure I didn’t have and then told me she was following me home even if I didn’t like it.” Buck waved the tray toward the recipe that was written down on a sheet of paper.
Eddie picked up the paper and looked at it. He had a frown on his face, but when he looked up, it was gone. He walked over to the cake, grabbed Buck’s silicone knife, and cut into it.
“No dessert before dinner, dad!” Chris cried out.
“I’m just going to see if it’s good enough to even eat,” Eddie said.
Buck was worried about that, but at least with a breakfast meal, if it sucked, he would be able to make something else for them. Eddie pulled out a small sliver of cake, and then he laid it on top of the rest and cut it up into three smaller pieces. He picked up one for himself before waving for Chris to take a bite. Buck was last to grab it, and he popped it into his mouth while he watched Eddie chew.
“Yummy,” Chris said when he swallowed. He was smiling as he looked at Buck.
“So did Pepa have you make it while she watched and directed?”
“Yes.” Buck walked back to the stove to get the rest of the food warmed up. The meat and veggie would be quick as they were still kind of warm.
A hand on his shoulder had Buck looking to that side. Eddie was right there. He wrapped an arm around Buck’s back and pulled him in tight.
“I have our stuff in the truck, we are staying tonight, and I’m going to show you just how happy I am that you can make that.”
Buck nodded. He must have done pretty well with it if Eddie wanted to show him how good he did.
“Chris, go and pick out a movie for us to watch.”
“Sure,” Chris said.
“Dinner while watching a movie?”
“I would like Chris to go to sleep at a normal time, so if we wait until after we eat to watch, he’ll be up longer.”
“I like the way you think,” Buck said. He waved toward the cold stuff, and Eddie started to divide it up onto plates for them.
“Dinner’s gonna be ready when we are done, but I think that we need to take Chris up to his bedroom and show him the new things.”
“New things?” Eddie asked.
“I got a few things for him in there that are kid-sized. A small dresser painted in the night sky with glow-in-the-dark paint for the stars and planets. A new bookshelf in red for books and toys. It’s what I was doing when I ran into your tia.”
“Well, then let’s go and see.”
Buck checked the food and turned off the oven before he followed Eddie out of the kitchen. Eddie had Chris halfway up the stairs before he got sight of them.
Eddie walked into the room Chris had been using and set Chris down. Chris went right to the half-built shelf and then looked at the dresser. Buck reached out and turned off the light. The curtains were pulled, so the stars and planets started to glow.
“I love it!” Chris said.
“Good. I thought that when we next went out, we could pick up some sheets for the bed so that you can have your own sheets instead of the standard boring blue that I have.”
“I want purple sheets and a pink pillowcase.”
“Oh, I am sure we can find that,” Eddie said.
“Yeah. I can pick up some new ones as well. One of mine got ripped,” Buck said. He flipped the lights back on.
The blush that started on the back of Eddie’s neck was very nice. Buck kind of wanted to kiss it. He didn’t, though, as the timer went off for the oven. He focused on Chris and watched the boy as he touched the dresser and a few stars before turning around to rush at Buck as fast as he could go. He threw his arms around Buck’s waist and held on tight. Eddie walked up behind him and rubbed his hand through his son’s hair.
“Why do I get a bedroom?” Chris asked.
“Well, you love sleepovers here, and I thought that having a place that was all yours would be nice. I know I like to go to my bedroom and be alone sometimes. I think we’ll get some clothes too so that we don’t have to worry so much about you having to bring them here.”
“Yeah, we can go tomorrow, right?” Chris asked.
“Well, if you guys want to, we can. We can go eat lunch somewhere and then go shopping. Get stuff for everyone while we are out, make your father buy new colors of his Henleys.”
Chris laughed and looked up at Buck.
Buck felt his throat tighten, and he looked at Eddie to hopefully stop himself from doing something he might regret. These two weren’t his family, not yet. They might accept him as a good friend, and he and Eddie might have other activities that blurred the lines, but this was still not his family to intrude on. He instead just needed to focus on being a good friend to Eddie while they bumbled their way through getting to know each other.
The three of them could make the best family in the world, but first, they needed to be good friends.
I write fanfiction for fun. It’s a hobby and a stress relief. I refuse to stress over my writing. What you see is what you get. Errors, plot holes, and all. Thank you for reading my story!
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