All He Needs

Title: All He Needs
Series: The Codas
Ratings: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom(s): 9-1-1
Category: M/M
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Characters: Eddie Diaz, Evan “Buck” Buckley,
Tags: Episode: s05e02 Desperate Times (9-1-1 TV), First Time
Summary: It’s like Eddie’s seeing Buck for the first time, and Eddie figures out that Buck is all he needs.
Word Count: 9,652
Year: 2021 (Season 5)
Spoilers: Up through Season 5 Episode 2: Desperate Times
Notes: Wrote in the week between episode 2 and 3 airing, so it’s only canon-compliant through episode 2.
Alpha: V.Mures
Beta: ScarsLikeVelvet

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Eddie stopped from where he was headed out of the bunk room when he saw Bobby walking up to Chim with a sheet of paper in his hand. Eddie wasn’t sure what was going on, but Bobby’s face wasn’t a good one.

“Hey, Bobby,” Chim said. His face fell when he saw that Bobby was not smiling.

Eddie tried to leave, but the only place to go would alert them that he was there and felt like he shouldn’t do that.

“Chim, can you explain why Buck filled out this form? I know his writing. It’s not even signed; I’m glad he didn’t commit that part of the fraud, but why couldn’t you fill this out?” Bobby asked.

Eddie closed his eyes. He had heard a little from Ravi about how Chim had blackmailed Buck. He had planned to talk to Buck about it, but he had been distracted with Ana and everything, and Buck saw more than he really should have with that. Eddie was freaked out about replacing Shannon in Christopher’s life.

“Well, he said he would help me out. I told him I would sign it later.”

“So, what was more important than filling out the form?” Bobby asked.

“Well, Maddie-“

Bobby raised his hand. “If something was going on with Maddie that stops you from filling out a form, Chim, then you shouldn’t be here.”

Chim’s mouth shut. He looked a little lost, but his face hardened a little. “He was a little asshole about it.”

“Yes, I told him not to let anyone give him shit for the job I assigned him. No one else has given him trouble with the stance he took. I remember how we all were when he was the Fire Marshal during his time before coming back. He had power, yes, but that was his job to make sure that we got docked the points we needed to be docked to see how well we were actually doing on our job. I didn’t take him seriously then either.”

“He didn’t just make that form?” Chim asked.

“No! How would he have? At the end of the day, all of these are kept on file if one is damaged and the firefighter is at fault. If there is damage to one and a form hasn’t been filled out, then the person in charge is in trouble, making that Buck. Go and fill it out, apologize to Buck for threatening to keep his niece from him.”

“Buck told you?”

“No, Ravi did. He came to me afterward and said that he thought about it and realized that while you might have thought you were joking, Buck didn’t take it that way. He said that he looked at the pictures of Maddie and Jee he had been getting over the past while.”

“Look, it was a joke,” Chim said.

“Chim, how many times have you heard that?” Bobby asked.


“How many times did you hear the lines ‘you can’t take a joke’ or ‘no offense’ after someone said something that they thought was funny, but you didn’t?”

Chim seemed to get angry at that. He opened his mouth, but when Bobby glared at him, Chim shut his mouth.

“I know that something is going on at home. I know that. You aren’t ready to talk about it, or Maddie doesn’t want you to talk about it, but you need to, to someone. You need someone to make sure you don’t do something stupid.”

“I knew that it was wrong,” Chim said.

“And you still did it. How much of an asshole was Buck to you about it?”

“Nothing more than normal. He was fine, really. He was happy to be doing paperwork. Which kind of pissed me off. We are in a disaster, and he’s finding joy in paperwork.”

“He can control it. It’s one little thing that he can control. Eddie’s acting weird, Maddie’s dodging his calls, and then you come in and threaten what you did. He’s still wrapping his head around everything with Daniel and feeling like his parents and Maddie have lied to him for years about Daniel. Telling him, even in jest, that you will not let him see Jee-Yun unless he gives over a charger when the form takes a minute to fill out on your end and then a minute on Buck’s end with the charger’s information? I bet he even would have let you charge your phone while he did it. You have a girlfriend at home with a baby during a blackout. I know you are worried; we all are worried about our families. Why is your need for a charge on your phone more important than anyone else?”

“Maddie,” Chim said, but he stopped again.

Eddie felt like he really shouldn’t be here, but he really didn’t want to actually let them know that he was here now. He slipped back into the bunk room to let the rest happen in peace. He was pissed off at Chim a little bit. Buck was worried about Maddie so much right now. Eddie hadn’t been able to talk to him about it as much as he would like since Ana and Chris were his priorities right now. Ana didn’t like Buck being around when she was since it meant that Chris would focus just on Buck, which wasn’t helping them build a relationship.

Right now, Eddie was questioning everything when it came to Ana, and he didn’t know why. Chris loved her, didn’t he? It’s what they needed, a stable woman and more than willing to be with Eddie even with everything wrong with him.

Eddie stayed in the bunk room until he couldn’t hear anything, and then he went to peek out around the door frame to make sure that no one was there. He looked at where Buck was leaning against the corner of the upper deck, half-hidden in the dark shadows made by the fact that there were not a lot of lights in areas that weren’t needed.

Going to Buck, he leaned against the railing and leaned into Buck. He looked at Buck’s face when he didn’t react. Eddie knew Buck better than he knew everyone else outside of Chris. He knew what was wrong with Buck, and he knew that part of it was his problem. Maddie had been dealing with whatever caused her to pull back from him. Eddie was focused on Ana. Buck had been left behind again.

“So when this is over, when we get whatever time off we get for this shit, you and me and Chris and that Halloween movie marathon that you threatened to do in spring when it became Halloween season again.”

“You said that I couldn’t until October,” Buck said.

“Well, I am changing that.”

“Don’t,” Buck said. He pushed off the rail.

Buck started to leave, and for a few seconds, Eddie debated keeping him there, but instead, he followed behind him. Eddie knew that Buck knew he was there, but Eddie didn’t care. Buck huffed and then turned to head to the bunk room. No one was asleep in there at the moment since most of them were in cots around the place, but the ones who were actively on shift and trying to get sleep slept in the bunks, but none of them seemed to want to sleep at the moment. Buck went right over to the far bed and sat down, looking at Eddie like he was challenging him to come close.

Eddie was pretty sure that he had seen feral animals who were less cagey. Eddie swallowed as he approached him.

“I want to be alone,” Buck said.

“I’m just gonna lay down here and try and get some sleep that’s not on a cot.” Eddie stretched out on the bunk next to where Buck was, and he closed his eyes before putting his hands under his head.

Buck started to play around on his phone. Eddie knew that it was Buck’s lifeline with him playing games on it that didn’t need Wi-Fi right now. Thankfully, Chris had more than a few of them on his tablet, but also he had many books he could read. Buck kept him supplied in books.

“I think that maybe I should break up with Ana,” Eddie said.

“What happened to sticking it out?” Buck asked.

Eddie kept his eyes closed even though he wanted to look at Buck.

“I listened when you talked about you being Ana. You are talking about Abby, aren’t you?” Eddie asked.

“Yes. I knew it, but I wasn’t ready to let her go. It’s why I let her go overseas without pressuring her. I loved myself when I was with her, and I was afraid that without her, I would go back to who I was.”

“She was the first person to really believe in you.”

“In most ways, yes. Maddie believed I would be someone someday, and it’s why she told me to take the Jeep and go. She wanted me to be something, and she was willing to give me the Jeep but not willing to come with me. She’s never given me a reason. I wish I would have talked her into coming with me right then instead of letting her go home. I think he beat her. She won’t tell me because she says that she’s protecting me. How is letting me imagine what could have happened better than knowing?”

“I don’t know.” Eddie knew that if he kept making a few words here and there, Buck would rant it all out. It was one of the better ways to deal with Buck when his brain was circling the drain on bad thoughts.

“I mean, I can create some horrible shit in my head that’s happened. We both know that.”

“Yeah.” Eddie didn’t want to revisit what was going through Buck’s head after the tsunami. He had gotten drunk one night and told Eddie that he thought that losing Christopher would be why he never came home to the 118. That Eddie would make sure that he never did what he loved again for almost losing the only thing in the world that mattered to Eddie. Eddie had cursed himself for weeks for not making sure that Buck knew that losing Buck would have hurt him as well. That whole time was a horrible mesh of Eddie and Buck being idiots. The thing was that Eddie knew even then that Buck never asked for things he wanted. He would just wait for it to come to him when it was something that would hurt him if it was denied, like spending time with Chris. Eddie wished he would have dropped Chris off with Buck long before he did.

“I don’t want her to share just so I know, but I also really think that she faked her way through all of the therapy she’s been in. My parents didn’t get therapy after Daniel died, and hell, they said they got it to deal with everything to do with Doug after Maddie killed him. That just rings wrong to me. I bet they had a single session where it was the only thing they talked about and then moved on. I don’t know what to do with that.”

“How did therapy go with them?” Eddie asked. This has never come up in a way that Eddie thought that Buck would actually talk to him about it.

“Well, it didn’t really go well at all. My mother constantly tried to talk down to me about how I was a horrible child who did nothing that deserved their love. I literally think that I saw the therapist’s eyes widen so much they nearly fell out of her head. She called me the next day and asked to meet me alone. I was a little freaked out after the last time I was with a female therapist alone. Dr. Copeland is great in that she is more than happy to just meet me online. I had a single in-person visit, but that was to set everything up for insurance and for her to get a feel for me. She said that my face said it all and that my body language was easy to read even online, so she wouldn’t demand like every six months visits in person. She was pretty okay with only talking about my previous therapist online as well. I typed it all up and sent it to her in an email. I didn’t want to see her face when she read it.”

“Well, I can understand why. I’m still pissed that people here made it seem like you were in the wrong for that,” Eddie said. He was going to say it every single time. Until Buck saw what happened as abuse, a case could be made for rape.

“No, I get it. I understand that it’s abuse. Doctor Copeland is really pissed about it but also glad that I told someone who actually did something about it. Anyway, I let the other person talk to Doctor Copeland and signed the paperwork to talk about me. The second visit was kind of a breath of fresh air. Maddie wasn’t there, so my parents were not on their best behavior with me. At the end of the session, I was asked to wait outside, and then my parents left about twenty minutes later, and I was brought in.”

“And?” Eddie asked.

“She told me that Doctor Copeland agrees with her statement that I should never interact with my parents. The relationship is toxic as hell, and while they state that they don’t blame me for not being able to fix Daniel, they don’t love me no matter what they say. I agree on that after having a good long session with Doctor Copeland.”

“That’s why they didn’t come around for Jee-Yun’s birth?” Eddie asked. He had wondered about that too but never enough to actually ask. He didn’t want to upset Buck or Maddie if their parents had chosen not to come around for a reason. He didn’t want to hurt them with his question.

“Yes. I told Maddie that I would be good with being around them for parties as Jee grew up and the like, but I refused to make nice with them. I don’t want them in my life. It was nearly a decade with no contact. They were never around when I needed them. It might have hurt them to see me in a hospital, but their refusal to do something to let me know that they cared hurt. They didn’t even call. There was no checking on me. They cared nothing for me in that, so I don’t have to care back. They both gave me permission to not love them anymore, and I think I needed that.”

Eddie nodded. He knew without looking that Buck was looking at him.

“How did we get onto me? We were talking about you,” Buck said.

“Cause I’m the Buck whisperer. I get you to talk when you think you don’t want to, but you need to.”

“You are an asshole is what you are,” Buck said.

Eddie turned his head to the side to look at Buck to see him grinning. Eddie rolled over to prop his head up on his hand.

“So back to breaking up with Ana. When?”

“I texted Abuela and Pepa, Pepa’s been staying with Abuela, so I can have one of them get Chris from the house. I just don’t think that I can do it for exactly what you said. Chris likes her; he doesn’t love her. I was projecting there because I want to love her, and I can’t. She’s fun to hang out with, and I think that we could have been good friends. What about you and Taylor?”

“I’m having fun with her. I enjoy the time I spend with her, but I’m not sure I can love her, and I didn’t realize it until all of this.”

“Why?” Eddie asked. He wondered about the ransomware attack, and then the blackout caused Buck to think he could never love her.

“I haven’t worried about her at all. I mean, I texted her to make sure she was fine, but I’ve not even texted her once after that. I see everyone here worried about someone, well, the ones with someone. You’ve even checked in with Ana more, and I’m not just talking about checking on Christopher either. You have talked with her for at least half an hour every single day. I’ve not even sent a single text to Taylor, and she’s not texted me either. I know she’s probably working, but she’s not all the time. Bobby checks in with Athena when he wakes up and when he’s going to sleep. He lets her know if he’s going out on a call and when he gets back. I haven’t even thought of that.”

“Neither have I,” Eddie said. He rubbed at his eyes with his other hand before pushing up to sit up. He looked at Buck, and as if reading his mind, Buck moved over to where there was room beside him on the bed. Eddie settled in beside him and kept their shoulders touching.

“Why not?”

Eddie shrugged, but he knew what it was. It was all he had been thinking about since he woke up with Ana in the room after his surgery instead of Buck. He only cares that Buck and his family know how he is. Ana isn’t made to be a firefighter’s wife, and this told him that. He hadn’t even wanted to introduce her to Ravi. He didn’t even mean to do it. He just froze again when Ravi made a comment about Ana being his wife.

The fear that took him over at the suit shop had been something Eddie had never felt before.

“It was a panic attack,” Eddie said.

“What?” Buck asked.

“Why the cardiologist had seen me. I thought it was a heart attack, but there were no signs, and when I was checked out at the hospital, I found out I had a panic attack. I brushed it all off, just like I do everything. I don’t panic; I can’t have panic attacks.”

“You did that shit your father taught you how to do.”

“Yes. I did. The stuff you tell me is toxic to my own mental health. I hadn’t figured out how to tell you, and then there you were looking worried as hell about me in the middle of the ER during a fucking blackout while we were doing oxygen on patients.”

“Look, I don’t mind taking in Christopher if you die on the job. I know that if I had a kid out there, you would take them in in a heartbeat. I don’t want to take Chris for something stupid like a heart attack over fucking stress.”

“I’m not stressed,” Eddie said by rote. He flinched as his words caught up with him. He made sure to keep his head forward so he wouldn’t see the betrayed look on Buck’s face.

“You are. You are so fucking stressed that you can’t even see it.”

“I don’t love her.” Eddie looked up as he said it. He knew he had already said it, but this felt different. “I can’t love her.”

“Then end it now. End it before she gets more involved in it. She’s gonna be hurt but not ending it is going to make it even worse.”

“I will in the morning. I will do it and make sure that someone is with Chris when it happens. I don’t want him to see her upset. I’ll get a break from Bobby to go and see her. She deserves to see me in person for me to break it off.”

Eddie looked at where Buck was sitting with a grin on his face as he stuffed a taco into his mouth. The team was all around them, and he couldn’t do anything. He wanted to reach over and kiss Buck. Which was something new and terrifying.

Breaking up with Ana had been easy; she had taken it hard, but she said she knew that something was wrong between them. After the way he freaked out in the station after Ravi had called her his wife, she put the pieces together. She promised Eddie that she would stay with Chris during the rest of this, but Chris was okay with going to his Abuela’s house.

“Okay, so what is left on bad things bingo?” Chim asked as he turned to look at everyone else. They had chosen to eat out and wait for another call to come to them from there instead of trying to go back to the station and eat. Their call had put them right near one of Eddie’s favorite taco stands in the city that he didn’t get to eat at much since it was too far away and always packed. There was a small set of tables in the lot it was in through for on-duty first responders.

“I don’t even know. We are still fighting over whether the alpaca attack counts as a llama attack,” Hen said.

“No, since they are different,” Buck said after swallowing. He winced a little, so Eddie assumed he hadn’t chewed the bite well enough.

Buck had bought a six-pack of street tacos just for himself. He looked like he was debating getting more. Eddie looked at the four he had got as well as the chips. He was filling up, and he would rather eat the tacos. So he capped the cup of cheese and the cup of guacamole before dropping them into the bag with the chips and handing it all over to Buck.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m filling up faster than I thought.”

Buck gave him a grin in thanks and ripped the top off the bag before plucking out the cups. Eddie tried not to focus on Buck’s hands as he held a taco with one hand and dipped chips with the other. Eddie looked away before he started to drool, but he saw Hen giving him a look as he moved. He saw the way she was looking at him as well. She saw it.

Eddie hoped that she didn’t tell anyone, not even Karen. He wasn’t ready for that. He was ready to move on from Ana, but he wasn’t ready to possibly put a damper on his friendship with Buck. Buck would never step back from him and Chris over Eddie liking him that way. Eddie knew that. Hen’s face told Eddie that they would be talking.

“Hey, Chim, I wanna talk to Eddie so you can head back in the ladder truck,” Hen said as she kept her eyes locked with Eddie.

Eddie chose to look away first. He looked at Buck, which was a bad idea as Buck looked like deer caught in the headlights. He had a taco half in his mouth and was biting down on it.

“Buck, manners,” Hen said, and she tossed a napkin at him.

Buck finished the bite, then he chewed and swallowed fast. “I wasn’t talking with my mouth full.”

“No, but you were staring.”

“I’m trying to figure out why you are swapping out partners without asking me,” Buck said.

“Because I need to talk to him without anyone around, that’s why,” Hen said.

“Fine. But as soon as we get back, he’s mine,” Buck said.

Hen raised her hands in surrender and laughed.

Chim looked just as lost as Buck, and Bobby looked at them like he was looking at kittens fighting. He looked proud as hell.

Eddie finished off his tacos before he got to the point where he couldn’t eat anymore. He would rather just get this over with, so if he could do that, he would.

Buck seemed to agree and chewed really fast on the last bits of his food.

Eddie got his food down and started to clean up the table. Hen started to help him, and Eddie knew that he wouldn’t get out of talking about this.

The doors were shut, and Hen just looked at Eddie, waiting for him to crack.

“What?” Eddie asked.

“So, how long have you known you are in love with Buck?”

“Since about two days ago when I realized why I would never love Ana. I was looking for someone to fill the role of Shannon in Chris’ life. I had already made it to where Buck would get him if I died. I just hadn’t thought that I could be with Buck. Or at least be happy with just him in our lives. If Buck doesn’t like men or doesn’t like me that way, I would be good with friends.”

“Okay, well, when has Buck ever done a single thing that makes you think he’s straight?” Hen asked.

Eddie looked at Hen with a glare. He was not okay with her outing Buck without his permission.

“He’s told me nothing, but I have eyes, and I see what he looks at when we are out on milk runs. Three weeks ago, we had that call with the kid up the tree, the nine-year-old who refused to come down, so Buck talked to him for fifteen minutes up in the tree before getting him down. When Buck took him to his father, I saw his father give Buck his number. Buck blushed, but he didn’t tell the father no. I don’t think he would have taken it. I’ve seen him tell people that they are not his type before, men and women. They take it gracefully, given what we are there for. I can’t help you on Buck being attracted to you, but I’ve seen him looking at you in a strange way. I didn’t get to see him with Abby too much, and his fling with Taylor was just a short thing. He didn’t look like this.”

“He could just love me like he does Maddie,” Eddie said.

“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t look at you like he looks at her or like he looks at the rest of us.”

“I can’t let myself hope,” Eddie said.

“Ask him to dinner. First chance you have to do it. Make that one meal I know you can make that he loves. Do your best and ask him.”

Eddie nodded. He hoped that Hen was right. Buck had no plans for the next day after shift. Chris was going over to a friend’s house for dinner and a sleepover. It would be a perfect time. He could easily make the meal and have Buck over for dinner. Lay it all down.

Eddie could do this. He could make the first move.

Eddie wrung his hands together. He looked at the clock. Dinner was in the oven, and it was half an hour until the time when Buck normally showed up. If he said he was getting there at seven, it was always half an hour before that. Buck never took a chance with LA traffic and getting somewhere late.

The door opened up two minutes later, and Buck stepped inside. He looked up at Eddie and smiled. “Hey, Eds. Why are you just standing there?”

“Oh, I was just thinking. I have a bottle of wine breathing and was trying to figure out if I should put beer in the fridge for after.”

“I think that might be too much alcohol,” Buck said.

“The bottle is small. About two glasses each, maybe not even that. So I thought beer afterward might be good. It’s not like the wine where if I put it in the fridge, it’s going to go bad. I’m going to go put two bottles in each.” Eddie spins and makes his way into the kitchen before Buck can say a single thing.

Eddie knows that Buck will just follow him. He knows he hasn’t fled from Buck. He didn’t want to be, he wanted to be where he felt safer, and right now, that was the kitchen.

“Dinner smells good,” Buck said. He kept himself on the other side of the kitchen from Eddie. Which was something that Buck rarely did.

Eddie got the beer in the fridge, sticking the whole six-pack in there. He moved to pour the wine but stopped when Buck dropped his hand over Eddie’s as soon as he touched the bottle.

“Eds, what’s wrong?”

“I kind of lied to you,” Eddie said.

“About the date?” Buck asked.

Eddie turned his head to where he could see Buck’s face.

“You think I didn’t know? You were worried, and that’s not something you ever are when you invite me over for a meal. You asked me over for dinner instead of just asking if I wanted to hang out. That was different enough as well to cause me to think about it. It took until I got home for me to realize.”

“And how do you feel about that?” Eddie asked.

“I’m pretty happy about that. But if you are worried about it, we don’t have to make it any different than normal. We can sit in the living room with the TV going and just talk. We don’t have to make this something bigger than what we want it to be.”

“No, I want it. I’ve been thinking about it. I want to do it. I want to date you.”

“Well, good, I want to date you too.”

Eddie nodded. He looked up at Buck. Eddie smiled at him, and he leaned in. He really didn’t want to mess this up, but he really wanted to kiss Buck. He pressed his lips to Buck. He just wanted to get it over with. He needed to taste him, just once. He could do it. He could just press them together.

Buck took the last distance to press them together. He pressed hard to Eddie’s lips, pressing him into the counter. Buck cupped Eddie’s cheeks, not letting him lean out of the kiss. Eddie caught Buck’s shirt and held on, scratching as he did it. Eddie wanted more, and they hadn’t even done anything yet. He wanted to feel Buck moving over him. He wasn’t even sure that he wanted penetrative sex but just fumbling around in the bed like two teenagers sounded like a good plan.

“Oven,” Eddie said.

“What?” Buck asked. He looked dazed as he looked at Eddie’s face trying to figure out why Eddie was talking about the oven or just why Eddie wasn’t kissing him anymore.

“Turn off the oven, and let’s go to the living room,” Eddie said.

“Sex before we even go on a date?” Buck asked.

“Please,” Eddie said.

“Okay, okay. I’ll get the oven and bring the wine. We will need something to drink. I assume couch means making out for right now?”

“Dios, yes,” Eddie said.

“Good. Then get your ass in there and get ready.”

Eddie laughed, and he moved into the living room. He listened as Buck made noise as he turned off the oven and then set about getting the wine poured. Eddie laid down on the couch, and he got comfortable. He dropped a leg onto the floor and pressed the other to the back of the couch. When he looked down, he saw how hard he was already through the outline in his jeans.

Buck came around the couch, and he was carrying two glasses of wine. He looked Eddie up and down as he laid there.

“That’s how you want to do it?” Buck asked. He walked over to set the glasses down above Eddie’s head on the stand and then climbed on top of Eddie.

“Yes,” Eddie said.

“Hmm, I can get behind it. Or on top of it.”

Eddie laughed and shoved at Buck’s shoulder as he leaned down to brush their lips together. “You are a tease.”

“Hmm, you don’t even know the meaning of tease. You’ve been teasing me for years.” Buck kissed Eddie, stopping all talk between them until they stopped again.

Eddie didn’t really want to stop, but he knew that Buck would check in with him.

“You are so hard already,” Buck said just a few minutes later.

“Been hard since the kitchen.” Eddie rocked his hips up into Buck’s and found that Buck was hard and bigger than Eddie thought he would be.

“Really? That’s all it took?” Buck asked.

“I spent all of lunch watching you eat because I loved watching your fingers as they held the tacos to eat.”

“That’s why Hen was laughing all last night?” Buck looked down at Eddie with such a look of confusion on his face.

“Yes. She was laughing at me for not being able to not watch your fingers. It was horrible.”

Buck levered himself onto one hand. He used the other to trace Eddie’s lips. He plucked them away before Eddie could do anything, and then the fingers were back and wet. Eddie licked, catching the tip of Buck’s wine-covered finger. Eddie sucked, drawing the finger into his mouth.

Eddie loved watching the way that Bucks’ eyes widened and the blacks overtook everything. He sucked the finger all the way in, wrapping his tongue around it on the way out.

“Fucking hell, Eds. You want to kill me, don’t you?” Buck pulled his finger free before dropping down fast onto Eddie, claiming his mouth in a kiss.

Eddie couldn’t keep up with what Buck was doing with his free hand, but he knew that he was still only up on one arm. Eddie tried to help, but his hands got in the way because he couldn’t see well enough to get his own fucking pants off.

Buck was more than up to the challenge to at least get them down enough to where their cocks could touch. Eddie had to get his legs on the couch to allow that while Buck had his jeans down to his ankles from the look of things.

“I can’t wait to get you to suck my cock. Your eyes looking up at me, mouth full. I want that so bad.”

“Fuck,” Eddie said. He had never done that before. He hadn’t even thought about trying that with a dildo. He would have to try that, maybe with Buck watching. “Gotta get a dildo for me to try on first. You want to teach me?”

Eddie felt the shudder in Buck’s body before the warmth of his release hit on his belly and his cock. Buck ground down into Eddie more, getting him off in just a few thrusts.

“We gotta work on that,” Buck said.

“I’m just happy that I didn’t come as soon as your cock touched mine. I feel that would have been worse. We both seemed pretty worked up from just a little talking and making out. Revel in being a teenager again for a moment.”

There was nothing but silence from Buck, and if it wasn’t for the way he was supporting himself again on one arm while half slumped on Eddie, Eddie would have thought he had fallen asleep.

“Buck?” Eddie asked.

“I didn’t have people in high school and college. I was a little odd for most people. It wasn’t until I was traveling around that I had sex, and I was not a teenager anymore. Sex just wasn’t something I was big on back then.”

“Which is where you think the obsession with it came from?”

“Maybe; I’ve never thought too much about that.”

Buck settled to where he was between Eddie and the back of the couch, his pants still at his ankles. He didn’t seem to be too bothered by it. Eddie was worried about dripping onto the couch, but he was sure that Buck knew how to clean it up. He had gone through a phase where he looked up the easiest way to clean up most bodily fluids, and while semen was never brought up with the team, he was sure that Buck knew.

“So it all started post-college?” Eddie asked.

“I mean, I wasn’t obsessed with it like I was after I joined the team. Doctor Copeland thinks that I was replacing affection with sex because I had never gotten a lot of affection before that.”

Eddie ran his hand up under Buck’s shirt. He felt the air conditioner kick on and shivered.

“Let’s go and clean up, and then we can eat. I’ll kick the oven back up to finish cooking.”

“Eh, I only turned it down to two hundred. I knew we wouldn’t be in here long, and I always get hungry after sex. I’ll pop into the guest room and shower in the Jack and Jill.”

“No, mine. With me.”

“Then I think we had better leave the oven where it’s at.” Buck grinned, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s cheek.

Eddie could feel the grin on his skin. He really didn’t want to break it, but he felt a little nasty at the moment. He hadn’t had this much release on him since he had learned how many times he could jack off as a teenager.

Buck got up first, fixing his jeans as he moved, not caring it seemed if he had something all over them. Eddie frowned but followed. He at least had clothes to change into, and Buck’s legs were not made for Eddie’s pants. Eddie wasn’t even sure his sleep pants were going to be long enough.

“Do you have clothes here?” Eddie asked.

“Like inside your house? No. I have a bag in my Jeep, though.”

“Really?” Eddie asked.

“Eddie, I knew this was a date. I knew that we were staying here. It wasn’t going to take a chance. I didn’t expect making out and frottage on the couch. So yeah, I have clothes, and I was going to go and get them real quick. I brought a bag of stuff with clothes for tomorrow too.”

“Then go get it. I’ll check on food and make sure it’s not drying out, and then we can head to the shower.

By the time Eddie was done in the kitchen, Buck was already in the bathroom, he had a few things laid out on the counter beside Eddie’s things, and he was smiling. He was down to just his underwear with his clothes in the hamper. It was domestic in a way that Eddie felt to his bones.

They had been building to this for a long time. The three of them were already so much of a family. It was why Ana didn’t like Buck being around when she was. Eddie understood it all now. He really had done Ana wrong by staying with her. He would talk to her when the pain was less if she wanted. He would apologize.

Eddie grabbed a mug and poured some coffee into it. He wasn’t awake enough to drive.

“Put that down,” Buck said as he came into the room. He handed Eddie a bottle of water. “I’ll drive the truck to go and get him. We need sleep when we get back, not you awake all night long.”

Eddie set the carafe under the spout on the coffee pot again. It was from that afternoon when he had been cooking, so it was more than good enough to drink straight. He had drunk stuff that tasted worse in the Army.

“Sure,” Eddie said. He grabbed Chris a coat as they passed the door to head out to the truck. Buck was parked beside Eddie so they could use either vehicle, but Eddie knew that Buck preferred to drive Eddie’s truck when it involved Christopher.

As soon as they were in the cab, Eddie programmed his phone on where to pick up Christopher from. He got the phone into the cradle on the vent and ensured it was going before he slumped in the seat.

“I thought he was doing good on nightmares?” Buck asked.

“He is. He hasn’t had one in weeks. It’s why he wanted to go to this sleepover. He felt like he was ready.”

“His nightmares were almost worse than after the tsunami,” Buck said.

“I know. He was able to stay in his bed during those, but this, I can understand why he needed that this time.”

Buck only nodded his head as they passed under a street light. He was focused on driving, so Eddie left him to do that. Buck driving was something to behold. He was always so focused on it when Eddie and Chris were in the vehicle with him. Eddie had never seen him drive when he was alone, but then it would be impossible as just being there made it to where Buck wasn’t alone.

Eddie shook his head to clear it of the strange thoughts he had going on. He wasn’t sure he was going to stay awake on the way back. He really hoped Christopher was willing to pass out again. Eddie closed his eyes and let the gentle movement of the car lull him to sleep.

The slam of a door had Eddie opening his eyes and looking around. He looked to the back to see Chris sitting there smiling at him. Buck opened the driver’s side door and got inside.

“I was really out of it,” Eddie said.

“It’s okay, Daddy,” Chris said.

“Yeah, Edmundo, it’s okay. We will just be serenaded with your snores on the way home,” Buck said.

Eddie laughed, and he stuck his tongue out at Buck before leaning over to look at Chris a little better. “How are you doing, Mijo?”

“I’m good, Dad. But what happened to your neck?”

Eddie touched his neck. He felt a few hot spots, so he flipped the mirror down in the visor and looked. He had about three love bites on his neck. He turned and glared at Buck. However, Buck wasn’t looking at him, but he only had a single hand on the wheel. The other was over his throat, where Eddie knew there was one mark. Eddie had left most of the marks on Buck where clothing would hide them. It seemed that in the shower, Buck had not done him the same courtesy.

“Well, Chris, um,” Eddie had no clue what to say.

“They look like the marks that Susie’s older sister had on her neck that got her grounded when she was supposed to be away from her boyfriend. Where did you get them, Daddy?” Chris asked.

Eddie felt like his son knew exactly where he got them but wanted to hear the words.

“Yeah, Eddie, where did you get those?”

Buck sounded smug as hell, and Eddie would normally be all for fucking with him, but this seemed like something he didn’t want to fuck with Buck over.

“Well, my boyfriend gave them to me, Chris. We had a lovely date tonight.”

“Oh,” Chris said, and he sounded a little upset at that.

“And then I asked him to stay the night, and I was hoping you were okay with that.”

“If he was staying the night, why was Buck with you?” Chris asked.

“Well, Superman, I’m the boyfriend,” Buck said.

“You left those marks on Daddy?” Chris asked.

“Yeah, I did.”

Chris was silent, and Eddie wasn’t sure what to make of it. He looked at Buck, who looked worried. Eddie turned to look when Chris let out a scream, only it was one that Eddie knew well. Buck started to laugh. It was his yell of happiness when he was too emotional to do anything but vibrate in place, it seemed. Eddie smiled, and he looked at Chris, who was grinning pretty big.

“So I take it that you are okay with this?” Eddie asked.

“Uh-huh,” Chris said as he bounced his head up and down.

“Good. You had me worried there.”

“Ah, Superman could never hate me,” Buck said.

“Well, Bucky, I could. I mean, if you ever hurt daddy, but then I would hate it if Daddy hurt you. So really, it’s just better to not hurt each other.”

Chris leaned back like he had said something profound.

“He gets that from you,” Eddie said.

“Well, it’s a good way to show you are done.” Buck pulled into the driveway, and he parked behind his Jeep. He cut the engine after putting it into park before he unbuckled it. He turned around to face Christopher. “Are you sure you are okay with this?”

“Yeah, I’ve wanted it for years. Then Mommy came back, and Daddy was with her, and then he was really sad, then you went away. Everything was so strange then your parents came into town, and you were really weird for a while, but then Daddy was dating Miss Flores, and you were with Taylor. I liked Taylor, though, and I hope she doesn’t just leave. I liked going on go-karts with her. She made you laugh like Aunt Hen makes Uncle Chim laugh, so I think you would be great friends if you stopped doing adult things.”

“Adult things?” Eddie asked. He glanced at Buck, who shook his head and looked just as confused as Eddie felt.

“Well, that’s what Susie said her mom called the things on her sister’s neck came from and that when Susie was older, she would tell her all about it, and then I asked Mommy once about why you two were laughing in the bedroom too early in the morning, and she said adult things.”

Eddie looked up and prayed to God to help him with this.

“That’s a good way of putting it, Chris.” Buck tossed the keys at Eddie, and he got out.

Eddie was about to follow him out of the truck but stopped when Buck got into the back with Chris, sitting beside him.

“You are going to be okay with your father and me doing things without you, right?” Buck asked.

“Dad and Miss Flores didn’t do everything with me.”

“I know, but you are pretty used to having a lot of my attention, and I was the one to watch you when he was doing those things with you. Now it’ll be Abuela or Tia Pepa who watch you when your father and I want to do things alone.”

“I’ll try not to be too upset.”

“Well, the good thing is that I think that most of our dates are going to end with me staying the night, so you’ll have the morning with me,” Buck said.

“What am I chopped liver?” Eddie asked. He was glad that Christopher seemed to be taking it well. He hadn’t even thought about how Chris would feel about his Buck time going away some. He probably would have once he started to think about it. They had agreed that they couldn’t hide this from Chris at all.

Eddie would never want to do that when it came to Buck. Buck was already in their lives; he didn’t need to hide him. He wondered how Chris would have reacted if Eddie had started to date Buck instead of Ana. He wondered if he would still have his good salad bowl.

“Dad, I’m tired. Can we go to bed?”

“Sure, buddy. Buck can carry you in, and I’ll get your bag and crutches.” Eddie had seen them in the back. Buck had been quiet right up until he had slammed Chris’ door. It just showed that Buck moving around him wasn’t something that was going to freak him out. Even the last time he and Ana had sex, her getting up to use the bathroom had woken him up enough it took an hour to get to sleep again.

Eddie waited for Buck to get Chris out before he moved to grab everything. Buck would move slowly with Chris in his arms, and right now, with the nightmare still fresh in his mind, Eddie knew that Chris would want to be carried. Buck knew when to help Chris and when to let him go. Nightmares were never the time to let go.

Soon, even if he had a nightmare, Chris wasn’t going to want Eddie to carry him to his bed to sleep. He wasn’t going to want that, so Eddie was going to enjoy it for as long as possible.

“Hey, Eds,” Buck whispered as Eddie unlocked the door. His voice was low to where Eddie almost didn’t hear it.

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, his voice just as low.

“Is he asleep?” Buck asked.

Eddie turned around after opening the door and looked. Chris was indeed asleep on Buck already. He had to be tired as hell, and the excitement of Eddie and Buck in a relationship seemed to have wiped him out the rest of the way.

“Yeah, he is. You go get him laid down, and then I’ll be in to say goodnight to him as soon as I settle his bag in the laundry room to go through later,” Eddie said. He unlocked the door and opened it so Buck could head inside. Buck headed right toward the back of the house while Eddie went to the laundry room. He laid Chris’ backpack in the room without turning on the light. He grabbed Chris’ water glass from where he had washed it earlier that day and filled it up. He carried that into Christopher’s room, watching how Buck was with Chris when he was tucking him in. Chris was in a new pair of pajamas.

Eddie walked in when Chris looked at him. He set the glass on the stand by the bed before walking around to the side that Buck wasn’t on.

“I’m really happy that you and Buck are together. I was going to ask Santa for it this year,” Chris said. His eyelids were trying to close.

Eddie knew that Chris wasn’t going to last long at all. Eddie sat down beside Chris and leaned over to press a kiss on his forehead. “We are happy you are happy. Now sleep. Tomorrow will be a day of fun for all three of us.”

“Special pancakes,” Chris said.

“Of course, Superman. Why would I make anything else?” Buck asked. He kissed Chris’ forehead next, but he wasn’t able to slip away with a hug as Chris wrapped his hands around Buck’s neck to hold him in place. Buck lifted up enough to bring Chris up enough to hug. Then he carefully laid him down again.

Buck looked at Chris like he was the biggest thing in his life. Eddie felt a little like he was going to cry, seeing how Buck was with Chris. Buck was one of the few people in the world who would never say anything about Eddie ending a date to go to Chris, mainly because he would be right there with him heading there. Buck would never demand that he come first over Chris. Hell, Eddie was sure there would be times that he felt like an outsider in his own home as he had before when Chris and Buck were doing things together. Chris was the only thing that mattered, and Eddie knew that they would make up for it with each other when it was just them.

Eddie knew already what it was like to be one of the two things at the center of Buck’s life, and it was heady as hell. He wasn’t sure how it was all going to work, but they would stand shoulder to shoulder to face it all.

Eddie hung up his coat, and he looked at Buck, who was still standing there in his turnout coat with a grin on his face as he posted something on his Instagram from the rescue they had just done. He had been talking the whole way back and only remembered when they pulled in. It was a shot with the whole family they had pulled out of the car before it caught fire after going down a hill when they were run off the road. Hen and Chimney were behind them, one of the two ambulances who were called to the scene but weren’t needed. None of the family even had whiplash. Mostly it was cuts and a few bruises.

The one little girl hadn’t been willing to let go of Buck, so Eddie had checked her out.

“Hey, Buck, can we talk?” Chim asked.

“Sure. Did you want to do it alone?”

“No, Eddie being here is fine. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how I acted that night. It really wasn’t professional to make that kind of threat, even if I did mean it in jest. I saw the look on your face, and I knew you hadn’t taken it as a joke.”

“It’s okay,” Buck said.

“No, it’s not. I know that we all joke around, but sometimes we say things that make you feel bad, and you don’t say anything. Why?”

Buck shrugged. He was still messing with the Instagram post. He tapped a button, and Eddie saw it being posted. He laid the phone in the top of his space, and then he shrugged off the coat.

“Though, I am not sure I shouldn’t be asking what vampire you are dating. Did we know that Taylor was a vampire?” Chim looked at Eddie with a smile on his lips.

Eddie just felt smug about that love bite that was visible with how Buck’s shirt was tugged at a weird angle.

“I can say that Taylor is not a vampire. We broke up, remember?” Buck asked. He got out of his boots and turned around to look at Chim. “I accept your apology. Just remember that after the way that Doug isolated Maddie from me, I am not going to like jokes like that.”

“Yeah, no, I get that totally. I wasn’t thinking, and I was worried about my phone dying. Cap pointed out that you probably would have given me the charger to start charging my phone while I filled out the paperwork.”

“Yup, I did that for Ravi, who had left an app running on his phone, and it killed the battery. I just had to stay by the rules of what is allowed per the blackout protocols. We can be docked seriously for fucking up with that shit. It’s why Cap had to take the fridge offline. It was red tape, and I get that people hate it, but I could have gotten in serious trouble favoring anyone, even my own team. I had guys from C-shift trying to bribe me with many crazy things, and I was just tired of bribes. I didn’t think you would go for a threat.”

“Yeah, I guess Ravi went to Cap after it was all said and done. You’ve been doing pretty good with him. Better than we did with you and hazing.”

“I have to sometimes keep myself in check. Still haven’t thought of a name to use with the whole charging thing that didn’t sound like an STI. Ravi texted me three while we were off.”

Chim laughed, and he opened his arms for a hug, and Buck moved over to hug him.

“Seriously, who the hell mauled your neck?” Chim asked.

“Who mauled whose neck?” Hen asked.

Eddie turned to see Bobby and Hen standing there at the end of the rig.

“Look at this,” Chim said as he pulled Buck’s shirt down to show the whole thing, including the little rash that was still there from Eddie’s beard.

“Holy shit! Is Taylor a vampire?” Hen asked.

“He broke up with Taylor,” Bobby said. He stepped up to stand beside Eddie as Hen went over to Chim and Buck. “And that looks like beard burn.”

Buck blushed and ducked his head. He kept it ducked for a few seconds before looking up at Bobby and then Eddie. He looked like he was about to run. They had planned to tell Bobby, but their shift had started with a call that had not ended until they were called out again.

“And Eddie’s got an impressive little mark that I noticed earlier, though his wasn’t noticeable until his shirt was tugged down by the boy at the crash,” Bobby said.

“Nothing gets past you, Cap,” Eddie said.

“Well, we will be filling out a few forms, but I can’t say that I didn’t see this coming for about three years. Let’s go and eat lunch, and you can tell us all that you feel like telling us.”

“Does Maddie know?” Chim asked.

“Not yet; I wanted to tell her in person, but if you want to tell her, you can. I don’t want you keeping secrets for me from her like that,” Buck said.

Eddie saw how Chim flinched and that had him wondering if Buck meant to actually mean it like that or he was just not wanting Chim to have to keep secrets at all, and it wasn’t meant as a barb about the Daniel thing.

“Food sounds great, Cap,” Buck said.

Eddie stepped up and wrapped his arm around Buck’s neck, and hauled him close to press a kiss to his forehead.

“So, Eddie, is that mark so that people stop flirting with him on calls?” Hen asked.

“You betcha,” Eddie said.

“Hey!” Buck said. He was laughing, though.

“You can mark me as well, but you have more people flirting with you than flirt with me, cariño.”

“Aww, Eds, you say the nicest things to me.”

“Okay, I’m not sure I’m behind this so much. They are going to be so disgustingly cute,” Chim said.

“You are going to have to live with it, Han. I’m not letting Buck go for anything in the world.”

The End

I write fanfiction for fun. It’s a hobby and a stress relief. I refuse to stress over my writing. What you see is what you get. Errors, plot holes, and all. Thank you for reading my story!

Join me on Discord in one of the two main servers I am part of. Just Write is a working server for those who write. We have sprinting channels and a whole bunch of other channels to make it the one-stop-shop for writers. Crossroads is a multi-fandom social server. Come and check them out if you are over the age of 18. They are adult-only servers!

6 thoughts on “All He Needs

  1. This was lovely. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Christopher was wonderful in there and he’s right, it’s just best all around if they are good to each other,

    Thank you for sharing,
    ~ Sibyl


  2. You are simply amazing. I’ve loved their little snippets so far this season. And this. Oh my. This is lovely. I love how Buck and Eddie were with each other. The love just shines in this.
    Thank you so very much.
    I’m rereading immediately


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